


Noble Souls

by sekaino



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Aristocracy, Crossdressing, Cutesy, Duelling, Everyone Is Alive, Female Eren Yeager, Fluff, M/M, Male Mikasa Ackerman, Minor Violence, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, POV Eren Yeager, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-29 17:01:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 90,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3904000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sekaino/pseuds/sekaino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Levi HATES nobles. They're pigs, all of them. But one day, he is invited to a prestigious party to meet his warrior-idol Carla Yeager, but unexpectedly runs into none other than her daughter, the absolutely stunningly beautiful Lady Erin Yeager! Which means Captain Levi's life and view of nobles takes a turn for the unexpected. </p><p>Historical AU where Eren/Lady Erin struggles to shatter society's expectations, explores the world, and can't stop falling in love with Captain Levi...</p><p>Note: Eren is actually male, and Mikasa is actually female in this story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Party

**Author's Note:**

> Lady Erin and Eren are the same person :)
> 
> I update every weekend! Overall, this story has no horrible endings and/or character deaths.
> 
> This is my very first fanfic!!! Please leave comments, I’d love to have your feedback.
> 
> If you're having trouble imagining Female Eren: http://sine-eang.deviantart.com/art/Erengirl-396219015  
> (credit to original artist)

It was a clear and cloudless night. The half-moon shone brightly, the stars rich and sparkling, scattered over the deep indigo sky.

The sound of hooves on cobblestones sounded richly, before slowing to a stop. The atmosphere was jolly, a light chatter heard over the sound of soft music and falling water from the large decorative center fountain.

 

The door to the carriage opened, and well worn, but brightly polished dark leather boots, revealed themselves. The owner of the boots jumped out. The action made a loud, clear noise against the stones set in the courtyard, and several guests stared.

Well, because the owner of the shoes was rather short. Shorter than the average man, anyway. Usually, a gentleman would dismount gracefully, not having to jump down from the floor level of the carriage. However, this particular gentleman had dismounted so very gracefully, rightfully comparable to a fine feline.

 

“Master Ackerman of Newhampshire has arrived!”, the steward announced. Levi paid scant attention, crisply walking towards the stairs, coat fluttering behind him, boots clipping against the stones smartly. He ascended the stairs with the grace of a well-practiced dancer, lightly removing his outer coat and dropping it into the hands of a waiting servant. He then removed his leather gloves, dropping them on top of the coat. He looked up, adjusting his cravat a little, grabbing his own lapels, and let out a deep sigh internally.

 

“The sooner this incredibly tiresome deal is over, the sooner I can just….go…home”, he thought. Yes, he certainly did absolutely hate events like this….with a passion. It would be a long night.

 

*****       *****         *****       *****         *****       *****

 

“…in”

“……”

“….My Lady…”

 

My eyes fluttered open.

 

“...My Lady Erin, you look a bit tired. Are you all right?”

My left eye twitched.

“You think?” I muttered under my breath.

“Pardon, my lady?”

I sighed and got up from the comfortable chair I was sitting on. I found the chair was stuffed rather well, and I wanted nothing to sink back down and do my legs a favour. More importantly, _god_ , this corset was killing me. What women were thinking when they wore this thing, I can’t say.

 

My voluminous dress swished around my ankles as I stood up rather ‘unladlylike’, and my handmaid let out a quiet but exasperated sigh. She quickly glanced around to make sure no proper folk had seen my exposed skin, and seemed content with the results.

“My lady, how many times have I told you-”

“Not to move around like a gorilla, yes” I finished the sentence for her, knowing this would lead to her usual 30 minute nagging spree, C _oaching Lady Erin in the Ways of the Yeager Family’s Traditions, Customs, and Mannerisms, Series 120 of 567._

 

“Where is my brother?”

“I last saw him with Master Arlert, paying his respects to the visiting Earl Zackly.”

So Mikasa was still with our best friend Armin again, as usual. How dare he leave his dear sister behind to fend for herself in the mob of uncouth, uncivilized pigs? All these nobles, they were a farce. This whole thing was a farce. 

 

 _But Erin, you really need to speak to some of these nobles,_ Armin had relented. When I had glared, the displeasure evident in my face, Mikasa had simply grabbed him and walked away – leaving me to deal with these nobles by myself – greeting them, while they try to grab my hand and smother it with sloppy kisses (Yuck, I am _so_ happy I made sure to have my gloves on), and trying to put their arms around my waist.

I had put on a forced smile, as expected of someone of my status and wealth, and I was paraded around like a trophy or prize, shown off, gazed at, approached vehemently. To me, they were worse than slobbering dogs. It was an insult to the amazing creatures called dogs to compare such trash to them.

 

And I was never understood. No one approached me for _me,_ for who I was, to understand me and myself. It was always for my wealth, status, or hoping to obtain a higher status by placing themselves in my favour and-

 

This was all a great, massive farce. A  joke.

  

*****       *****         *****       *****         *****       *****

 

Levi looked around the massive foyer – bodies of so many _many_ nobles milling about, one hand firmly clasped around their wine glasses. He recoiled at the sight.

In their other hand, their fat, greasy fingers were closing around buttery biscuits, scones, various entrees that were being served in silver trays –

 

Levi’s eyes widened slightly. _Holy Shit._

 

He had never seen so much silver his whole life. He had attended some other parties, but this one was something else. If he didn’t know better, he would’ve thought this party was being thrown in the honor of the King’s birthday. Just how rich _were_ these people?

 

“Levi.”

He snapped his wandering attention to his right.

“….Smith.”

“It’s Erwin. And this is Mike, you’ve met him before,” Erwin smiled.

Darn his evil, plotting smile. He knew this man was probably planning something evil, because his eyes had his usual calculating look. And he didn’t want to be around this man, OR, particularly Mike, who lightly sniffed the air before smiling. It was a little creepy, but Levi simply maintained his partial glare.

“What do you want.”

“Just greeting an old friend, Levi, especially since I made sure you accepted the invitation here today. We’ve known each other since we were children, now don’t be a spoilsport.”

Levi sighed visibly, his features relaxing. To an outsider, the change was barely noticeable, but for his friends, it was as clear as day. Levi wasn’t as stiff as before, either, and he could now avoid most of the trouble and perhaps clear out of here as soon as possible.

“Who’s hosting this again? They must be filthy rich, judging by the considerable amount of silver present in the foyer alone.”

“Oh, you haven’t seen the rest of the mansion! It’s absolutely marvelous! There is actual _gold_ inlaid in some of the panelling in the west wing!” A voice screamed.

Levi took, two, no- _three_ steps back as he recoiled from the source of the voice.

“…Hange.”

“Levi! What an absolute pleasure to see your sour face!”

Hange happily charged at Levi, barging in between Erwin and Mike, making those two almost lose their balance. They swept Levi in their arms, bringing him in close for a hug.

“Oi, shitty glasses. Get away from me.”

“Nope!”

“I’m going to crush your throat.”

“Haha, no you won’t!" Hange exclaimed loudly, but let go of Levi regardless, backing off roughly a feet, _in case_ Levi’s threat actually held some weight. Even with his friends, it was a bit difficult to tell sometimes when he really meant actual damage. Hange had seen him at his worst, and the image still sent a shudder down their spine at the memory. Levi could be quite terrifying at times.

Levi raised an eyebrow. Erwin took it as a clue, Levi was still waiting for an answer to his question before they were interrupted by Hange’s crazed screams.

 

“This mansion belongs to the Yeager’s.”

 

Levi took in a sharp breath. _Holy SHIT._

 

The Yeagers? No way. The Yeager’s were down in history as having a line of the strongest warriors in Shiganshina Kingdom. Mostly because they were known for adopting outside of their own family when they spotted talent, a strange tradition, even among nobles. But then, nobles had strange tastes and traditions anyway. They were currently in the city of Trost. Levi had no idea that Trost, just a few day’s journey from the capital was home to such a well-known family’s estate. They were also directly in the service of the King as Knight-Commanders, second only to the Legion Commanders, who were then under the King.

The Lady Carla Yeager was renowned for her swordplay. They said her sword moved so fast, untrained eyes couldn’t follow her movements. Some even claimed she drew her sword, cut apart a pineapple, and re-sheathed her sword – all so fast, and while she was walking. They claimed that they would have sworn the Pineapple had magically split apart by itself, if it wasn’t for the piece Carla was seen to be eating while walking away, without a break in her walk or change in gait.

Levi gulped.

 

“…Levi, your eyes have a strange glint. Are you all right?”

Levi snapped back to reality. He had always wanted to meet Carla Yeager, as she was practically legend. He had heard of her tales of bravery and gallantry even when he was little, and meeting her would be like meeting his idol – Oh no, he wasn’t sure he could handle the excitement! Outwardly, his expression didn't change. 

But he needed to meet Carla. _Now._ He quickly confirmed with Hange and Erwin, that _yes, Carla was indeed present at this ghastly party,_ and he quickly directed his steps deeper into the foyer towards the actual main entrance, leaving his slightly confused friends behind. He grabbed a wine-filled glass from a passing servant, and darted through the crowd, eyes flitting about. He had to find and introduce himself to Carla Yeager. It would be his dream come true, to _actually see_ his most revered, idolized, famous, and strongest fighter in the kingdom.

Then he suddenly stopped. _Wait, why did he have to actually do this, because this was foolish and stupid, and she wouldn’t care, because she didn’t even know him, and what would he actually say to her? Hi I’m Levi and I adore your skills with a blade because I’ve heard how amazing you are – but wait, he had never_ personally _seen her in action, and this was laughable and she wouldn’t care._

Levi gulped down half the wine in the glass, because his mouth had suddenly gone dry. Then another huge, and _IMPORTANT_ realization hit him.

 

He didn’t know how his idol, Carla Yeager, looked like.

 

And that’s how he ran into Lady Erin.


	2. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi runs into the beautiful and stunning Lady Erin Yeager, daughter of Carla Yeager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting for this next chapter! Again, I am quite new to fanfiction writing, so please pardon me for errors (please don't kill me if I get some things wrong) >.>  
> I really appreciate you taking your time here to read this!  
> I will do my best to get the next chapter out soon, Thank you so much again! 
> 
> Please leave comments or feedback, it is SO very much appreciated, and it gives me the encouragement to keep going! :D
> 
> THANK YOUUUU!!!!!!
> 
> P.S> Yes, it will be a heavily Levi/Eren centered fic, with mentions of other pairings.

 

 

 

I glanced around me quickly. My hands automatically went to the folds of my voluminous skirt, lifting it slightly so I could walk faster.

 

“My lady!”

 _Ugh._ I let my hands drop, releasing the fabric, inwardly sighing. It was impossibly difficult to get rid of my handmaid, Mina.

“My lady, I take my eyes off of you for one instant, and off you go, jaunting off to who-knows-where!”

I gritted my teeth.

“Mina, I just wanted to get away from that lecherous man-”

“My Lady, you know you just have to put up with it. Besides, he was just complimenting your looks-” I hissed. “And he just wanted to invite you to his own party next month, he meant well-” Mina continued, oblivious.

I groaned aloud. “Mina, he had asked me for the 32nd time, counting his numerous letters and invitations to his estate in Sina City. And I don’t like where his eyes were wandering to,” I finished with an irritated shake of my head, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“But My Lady, I have very specific instructions from The Lady Carla to ensure you meet with as many of the Lords and Ladies here present tonight, as you need to start establishing good relations with them-”

 

I sighed for the umpteenth time.

Mina continued, persistent. “Look, my Lady, there goes your brother, Lord Mikasa, and he has no trouble with the Lords-”

_What?_

I quickly turned my head. Mikasa and I were close, I knew Mikasa cared as much for these disgusting pigs as I did – meaning he would sooner sock one in the jaw rather than spend more than a necessary second near their foul breath, listening to their empty compliments.

 

_Filthy nobles._

 

But then I relaxed as I saw Mikasa, with his usual flat expression, sometimes nodding to a comment. I smirked, I could see his fists clenched behind him – he was doing a rather fine job putting up with the nonsense, I don’t know how – my patience didn’t stretch so far. _You’re too hotheaded,_ Mikasa would say. He was standing in a circle of nobles, who were all looking at Mikasa with greedy expressions on their faces. Mikasa stood out easily – he was the only one with pitch black raven hair, dressed in smart black finery and silks, his gold-hilted sword sheathed neatly at his waist. His back was ramrod straight – another telltale sign that Mikasa was not enjoying this in the least.

I spotted Armin beside Mikasa, his blonde hair shining as radiantly as sunflowers in sunlight - a few ladies surrounding him, hoping to cozy up to him. My smirk grew wider – the Ladies’ goal wasn’t Armin, it was mostly that the Ladies were hoping to be introduced to Mikasa. For Mikasa’s sword skills rivalled my Mother’s, leading him to be dubbed _The Raven of Shiganshina_. But Armin was too smart for them, his was the smartest brain I knew, capable of outwitting any wayward intentions.

I spotted a lady close to their group – she had blonde hair tied in a loose bun at the back with some hair loosely falling at the sides, and piercing light blue eyes. She was leaning against the wall and staring at Mikasa silently – another one of Mikasa’s admirers, no doubt.

 

 _Erin, I’ll put up with these nobles just like you, so let’s do our best together._  I recalled Mikasa’s words to me this afternoon with crystal clear clarity. _Ok,_ I had promised, _Let’s do our best together._ But here I was now, unable to stand with these pigs for more than two minutes. Mikasa was upholding his promise, and I sighed yet again, not wanting Mina to tell Mikasa that I was attempting to run away, which would have Mikasa all over me in the blink of an eye, asking which of these trash had dared to touch me, and where, and pulling out his sword on the spot to duel to the death with the person who had dared defile his precious sister.

I gulped at the thought, I didn’t want to invoke Mikasa’s abnormal attachment to my well-being, and he could be so very overprotective sometimes, and I didn’t want to cause a scene, it was bad enough that Mikasa had to deal with the same sickening trash.

 

“Ok Mina, I’ll do my best.”

Mina smiled at me encouragingly.

“But first, I want to get some fresh air.”

Mina’s smile dropped.

“My Lady-”

“Don’t worry, I’m not running away. See, I’ll go to the gardens, and I’ll be back, ok? Trust me.”

I put on my most innocent smile, hoping she took the bait.

 

Mina bit her lip. She was weighing the risks, she had to report back to my mother, after all. If she let me escape, she could be in trouble.

“Fine, look – I won’t run – In fact, how about I drop in a good word for you to that kitchen hand later…uh…Thomas, was it?”

Mina blushed visibly. She clasped her hands at her front, fidgeting.

I smiled at her. “Ok, it’s a deal!”

Without waiting for her response, I turned and walked (jogged) straight out back, seeking the fresh air of the gardens.

 

***      ***      ***

 

Levi was undoubtedly lost.

He had continued pressing onwards through the crowd, hoping to catch conversations mentioning where he could meet Carla.

“….the taxes aren’t enough…”

“….They need to be increased atleast tenfold! The peasants stuff their faces with their produce, while my estate pays twenty yuans for a bundle of corn-”

“…Simply unacceptable!”

Levi had gritted his teeth, pressing forward. These pigs, how were the farmers to have anything to eat when a good quarter of their produce was taxed? The rest had to be sold in the markets to make a meager profit, some bartered with other crop and necessities, while some was left to feed the family for the rest of the year. The best of the crop would go to the nobles as taxes, and at best, these “peasants” were hardly stuffing their faces, where some harsh years without much rain caused much suffering among the common folk.

 

“…Oh, just look at the Lady Brawse’s dress-”

“Oh, _goodness,_ what is she _wearing_?”

“Never mind that, look at her stuffing her face again!”

“…Are those potatoes? She’s eating a whole steamed potato!”  
“Where did she even get that?”

“She still has her bow with her- indoors! How scandalous!”

“Her Fiancée, Lord Springer, is no better…”

“I saw them fooling around once, chasing chickens on foot!”

“…How utterly disgraceful!”

 

“…The next peace conference with Kingdoms Maria and Rose is in half a year…”

“…I wonder which ten houses will be representing Shiganshina next year…”

“…Of course, Lady Yeager will undoubtedly be chosen…”

Levi’s ears perked up. He stood still stopping in his tracks, hoping to catch more.

“…But her son Mikasa, is soon to be of age…”

“…I thought their daughter was already of age?”

“…Her skills with a sword are mediocre…average, at best…”  
“That’s a real shame…”

Levi had walked on, knowing he wouldn’t learn anything more.

And had kept walking, and now he didn’t know where he was. The gardens, most likely, judging by the large amounts of flora. A large leaf obscured his way. He pushed it aside irritably, _how_ he had ended up here, he didn’t know. He heard the music and the chatter of the crowd fade away, and he knew he was definitely walking in the wrong direction. He stopped, turning backwards.

…And he instantly knew he was lost. The path curved, branching off in two directions, shrubbery and exotic flowers lining either side of the path. He didn’t know which route he had followed. His eyebrow twitched slightly in irritation, and he chose a path, boots crunching crisply on the gravel. _Damn this massive place._

 

A few turns later, there was complete silence. He had definitely been trying to walk back towards the source of the noise of the crowd and the music, but he somehow had succeeded in going farther from it. _Dammit_ , he cursed inwardly.

He muscled his way through another two large leaves blocking the path, looking for a way out irritably. And raised his head, because he could hear laughter. _Finally._

He quickened his steps, eager to go back, and the laughter grew louder. In his eagerness, he didn’t notice it was a single source of laughter, until he almost rounded a corner and slowed. _Huh. This laugh was nice. It was silvery, and reminded him of light church bells._

Shaking his head, he turned the corner. And stopped in his tracks.

 

_Beautiful._

 

It was the first thing that crossed his mind. A swish of dark green fabric, the beautiful creature was lifting up a fluffy white cat, high above its head, twirling and laughing. Seven or eight more cats lingered around the figure, some mewing in complaint, some rubbing their bodies on her legs. Levi’s eyes widened slightly, under the hitched up skirt, he could see….men’s breeches? But he was once again distracted by the clear, easy laugh, the waist length brunette hair beautifully pinned with elaborate gold pins at the back, and falling in light curls every-which way.

 

The figure turned to look at Levi, and Levi stopped breathing.

 

Two large, round, teal-green eyes looked at him, straight through his soul. The eyes grew wide at the sight of Levi, which only made Levi’s heart beat faster. The full lips parted slightly, a light blush appearing in embarrassment – _god, it was beautiful._

All at once, the creature dropped the cat, stepping back with a squeak.

Levi’s heart jumped a little at the sound.

 

The cat yowled, clearly displeased at the treatment. It hissed at the figure, darting away in between bushes.

“…Um!”

Her hands immediately pulled on the folds of the skirt, yanking it down to cover her feet, as if she had just realized that she had been clearly displaying her legs below the knees _(especially as since she was wearing breeches…but Levi was willing to let the odd part slide)_.

 

“…Um…pardon me, sir, I didn’t realize anyone would be here…”, she mumbled, not looking at him anymore, choosing to embarrassedly look at her folded hands below.

Oh wow, her voice was amazing, too. Light and full of energy, like water skipping over stones in a brook.

Levi stepped towards her. “Why does it matter?”

“Huh?”

He bent down to pet one of the cats.

“You looked like you were enjoying it here. Why does it matter I saw you?”

“Oh. Um…That’s…uh….”

Levi straightened.

_HOLY SHIT._

Now that he had a closer look at her face, she was more beautiful than anything else he had ever seen. He had to fight to keep his deadpan, neutral expression – scratch that – the usual slightly grumpy expression.

What amused him was that he could see every thought and emotion pass on her face – as clear as day. Wow, he could read her like an open book. The thought did nothing to help the building knot in his stomach.

 

“….I just wanted to get away from the party…the noise…you know…”

It was barely a mumble.

“Speak up, brat. I can barely hear you.”

Her head snapped up.

“...It’s not ‘brat’!” she huffed, puffing her cheeks.

_Oh, now that was adorable. Shut up, stupid heart; stop your stupid fluttering, stomach._

“You look like a brat to me. What are you, 15?”

“I’m 19 in two months! And what are you doing here anyway, are you lost?”

Levi froze.

“So what if I am?” he asked stiffly.

 Silence.

Levi looked up _(yes, he had to look up dammit, she had almost a foot on his height)_ , and noticed her frowning. Then she broke out in a light smile, causing a fresh wave of flutters in his stomach.

“If you want, I can show you the way.”

“…..”

Well. At least he had a guide now.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, I haven’t introduced myself! I am Lady Erin of the House of Yeager, Shiganshina Kingdom. It’s a pleasure to meet you…” she curtsied gracefully, all hint of embarrassment gone as suddenly as it had appeared.

Levi raised an eyebrow.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, it is the gentleman’s role to introduce themselves first, I’m sorry-” There it was. The embarrassment had resurfaced again, in the blink of an eye.  _How_ she could be so openly and quickly switching between emotions was a mystery.

“-It’s alright”, I cut her off. I snapped my heels together, bringing my right fist over my heart smartly in a greeting, left hand resting on my lower back.

“Captain Levi Ackerman. Pleasure’s mine.”

In the meantime, he could barely think straight. _Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit!!!!_

_YEAGER!!!_

_She had said her name was Yeager!!!!!_

So this must the daughter of Lady Carla Yeager then. He had sure been very _very_ lucky.

 

***      ***      ***

 

I looked at Captain Levi before me, my heart threatening to pound out of my chest. He had said he was _THE_ Captain Ackerman!

He was the renowned Captain of the Survey Corps, the one and only division of the army whose main purpose was not to fight and go to battle, but to explore. Of course, fighting skills were still necessary, as the Survey Corps would face the unknown in unknown lands and discover new territory, new flora and fauna, and many dangers. The risk was high, and many were known to have not made it back home.

But I admit, it was the one division I had wanted to join when I was deemed worthy of it. My mother wouldn’t allow it, she had said it was _far too dangerous! And Erin, why don’t you follow Mikasa’s example and enter the tournament to make it into the top ranks of the Military Police?_

I frowned at the thought, of course Mother wouldn’t understand, the thrill of knowing what’s out there other than this stupid estate and the stupid city of Trost, I wanted to know what lay beyond all of this.

 

My eyes were wide, fresh with the realization that I had just spoken to none other than the CAPTAIN _, HOLY SHIT_ , and I was about to faint from excitement, but wait, he was lost, and I needed to show him directions, but here I was, staring at him with my mouth slightly open.

I gulped.

I also had not realized…well…how short he was. He easily came in almost a foot underneath me, I had to tilt my head down a little to look at him in the eye. When I did, I had regretted it instantly.

Those narrow silvery-grey eyes were bewitching to look at, the heavily lidded eyes had a pull to them I could not describe. His voice was a deep, rich velvet, and were causing some goosebumps on my arms – Thank goodness for these long and flowing sleeves. His raven hair fell in curtains over his face, the hair at his sides trimmed short close to his skull. _Shit, I wanted to reach out and touch his hair, I wanted to know how the short hair would feel like under my fingers. Nobody had told me how good-looking this Captain was, I cursed inwardly. This was too good to be true, there is no way the Captain I looked up to was right here in front of me, looking completely dashing in his cravat and suit, I might add._

Uh oh. I had been dawdling, I could see him shift slightly under my gaze and I knew I couldn’t dawdle forever. But I was dying to ask him a million questions!

_How was it like out there? What is the ocean like? What did he see? Are there really creatures called Elephants so big that they could reach my window on the second floor? Were there-?_

 

I harshly interrupted my own thoughts, cleared my throat nervously and said “This way, just follow me,” as I led the way silently.

Well. Now I just needed to find a way to ask him these questions without revealing the fact that I was a massive fan of the Captain Levi. I had heard how he had singlehandedly saved his entire team from a pack of-

This time, a slight cough interrupted my thoughts.

 

“So, are you any relation to Lady Carla Yeager? Just wondering, since your House name is similar.”

I started. “Well, yes”, I admitted. “She is my mother. And as the host’s daughter, it would be my pleasure to accompany you to your destination,” _Since you’re different from those noble trash,_ I added mentally.

Wait, was that a slight smile I just saw? I blinked, but there was nothing but his passive, deadpan face.

“Well then, I would like to take up that kind offer, if you would allow me to trouble you to introduce me to the Lady Carla herself.”

I blinked. That wasn’t really a request, it was a statement. Hmm…so it appeared that the Captain wanted to meet my mother. But why? Ugh, such complicated things were over my head, I had Armin for understanding and making sense of complicated stuff.

 

At any rate, his request was simple, and more importantly, it gave me a chance to ask him questions. So I gladly accepted.

“It would be my pleasure! In exchange…” I looked at him sideways, biting my lip. What if he refused? What if he thought I was just an over-excited noble, asking silly questions just like everyone else, then I would never have a chance to find out anything?

“…What is it.”              

“…Um…if you don’t mind, that is…., uh…I-Ijustwanttoaskyouhowtheoceanlookslike?”

I stopped breathing and quickly looked away. _Crap, that had not come out how I had imagined it AT ALL._ He probably thought I was some weirdo now.

“…It’s big.”

My eyes widened.

“…Bigger than you can imagine, it stretches every way, as far as the eye can see.”

I turned to look at him. “…Please, go on…” I whispered.

“…Uh…It’s a clear blue everywhere. But its water, so when you hold some water in your hands, it’s clear. I’m told such large quantities of the water make the light bend and so it appears blue. It’s also very salty.”

I was holding my breath. Wow. So much salt-water that it was blue? No way, the most water I had seen in one place would be the small lake miles away from the city. _That_ much water was unimaginable, but he was clearly not lying.

 

“Could you perhaps….tell me more? …About your adventures?”

 

***      ***      ***

 

 


	3. Mina’s Misfortune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being Lady Erin’s handmaid isn’t an easy task.

 

 

Mikasa frowned, tapping his foot.

“Really, now, this is nothing to be worried about-”

“It is _clearly_ something to be worried about. If that midget dares to do anything to Erin, I swear on my name he will suffer the most painful-”

Armin let out a snort of frustration.

“Mikasa, _please_ be reasonable. All we saw was Erin being escorted-”

“By a suspicious midget! We don’t even know who he is!”

Armin rolled his eyes, his frustration reaching its limits. Erin could be described as intense and hotheaded, but her brother sure could be _very_ overprotective at times.

 

But Mikasa was right, and he had a point. Armin frowned, remembering some of the more particular details.

In that, for example, Erin had been bright eyed with a lively look in her eyes, and was seemingly paying very close attention to her escort’s words. This was very strange, as Erin was usually grumpy and unsmiling at parties and gatherings, hard to please, and certainly had no patience dealing with nobles. So her escort perhaps, didn’t hail from a noble family – but Armin had no way to effectively conclude this, as they had only caught a brief view of the two passing through the crowd, their backs turned to where Armin and Mikasa had been standing. Armin and Mikasa had registered two facts: that one, Erin’s escort had been a gentleman a whole head shorter than Erin, and two, that Erin had been wide eyed, _smiling,_ and attentive.

This was perhaps why Mikasa was rather concerned for Erin’s safety.

 

“Erin is so naïve and easy-going. What if she is being seduced by that midget? Or worse? I won’t stand for it!” Mikasa huffed.

Armin held back a laugh.

“Mikasa, it honestly is nothing to be concerned about.”

Mikasa gave him a look that plainly told him he was unconvinced. Armin sighed inwardly. These siblings were going to be the death of him.

“Alright, I will find out who he is, if that eases your mind?”

Mikasa narrowed his eyes, but nodded in assent.

When Armin said he would find out about something - he would, and without fail.

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

“My Lady!”

Her wide eyes scanned the room, looking everywhere for the folds of Lady Erin’s exquisite dark forest green dress. The problem was that the party was in full swing. Nobles were wearing brightly coloured clothing in every shade of every colour possible, fat plume feathers claiming their place on tops of wide brimmed hats, and everything was occupying more volume in the room than rightfully allowed. Jewelry and precious gems glittered in the torchlight and candles which were shedding light on every surface, the entire sight frankly overwhelming poor Mina’s eyes which were still scanning wildly for a speck of green in the mass of colour.

 “Argh!” she let out a noise unlike herself, cursing herself for (so easily) falling for Lady Erin’s obvious trap. Recalling it made her blush in spite of herself, because she couldn’t help but lose her breath when she caught Thomas’s eye while fetching Lady Eren’s snacks or meals from the kitchens. This was ridiculous. She shook her head violently to rid the thoughts in her head.

 She refocused on the task at hand – Lady Erin had said she would be in the gardens, then return. When she had not (as Mina had known) – Mina had gone looking for her. But she was nowhere to be found, whereupon Mina had took it to be that her Lady had either chose to run away again (which was likely), or that the Lady had actually kept her word with her brother (which was unlikely, but Mina knew they were close and Lady Erin _did_ in fact, listen to her brother at times). In which case, Mina’s best bet would be to search the crowd for Erin’s presence – and when this failed, she would search the massive Yeager family’s grounds (no doubt finding the Lady in the farms, surrounded by sheep, dogs, and cuddling a dozen rabbits). Then the Lady would burst into complaint about how these animals were better company than _those_ monsters disguised as humans–

 Mina shook her head violently again, trying to stand on tiptoes and trying not to think of further complicated possibilities. Then she gave up.

There were simply too many people, and too much movement. Servants were scurrying about with wide silver platters laden with sweets, exquisite snacks, and goods fried in the highest quality butter – Mina spotted some guests already tottering about, starting to get drunk on the high-quality purple grape wine being served. She bit her lip. She was short in stature like any other girl her age – and searching for her Lady in this chaos was proving to be fruitless.

_Think Mina, think! You’ve always managed to find your Lady no matter what – I’ve only been with her for a few short years, but while other maids have quit, you hung in there, so you can do this!_

Mina clenched her fists on either side, renewed determination passing her features. She now also knew what to do.

 

She briskly set off to the side, where she knew the staircase to the upper floor to be located. Dodging various nobles in various states of drunkenness and conversation, she quickly ascended, aiming for the second floor mezzanine balcony which conveniently overlooked the reception, foyer, tea rooms and ballroom. She would be in trouble if she was caught – the balcony area was supposed to be used only by the masters of the house to present speeches, a common servant had no place being there. But it was important to find Lady Erin, and Mina would be quick. Reaching her destination, she quickly crouched down and crawled forward to peek in-between the railing of the balcony, and she knew her line of thinking was correct. She now had an aerial view of the entire party, and all the guests. Identifying people was much easier from here, and she could easily identify colours now that the movements of the people seemed to be slower when she was observing from high above. A focused, five minute observation told her everything she needed to know – her Lady was not present.

 Mina sighed. Great. Now she would have to trudge out to the back of the mansion, walk down for quite a bit until she reached the farms, and start her hunt all over again for Lady Erin. _Perfect, Mina, Good Job._

Resigning herself to her fate, she crawled backwards slowly while keeping low, so no one looking up would accidentally spot her – Mina’s quick eyes still scanning the party below with careful deliberation.

Her foot hit a wall – Mina knew she had reached the end of the balcony towards the entrance, which lead to the hallway so she could start heading back down.

She made to stand up. 

A strong shock passed through her right leg in that instant – and she lost her balance, toppling backwards into the hallway. Mina realized her leg muscles had cramped from the awkward position in the split second she felt nothing but air underneath herself – then felt her back colliding with a very large, meaty cushion.

She lay prone for a moment, recovering from the fall.

_Ouch._

Then-

_Hmm? What did I crash into?_

She lifted herself up, happy that nothing seemed to be broken. She experimentally moved her leg – it moved, but she could still feel slight pain which were the remains of the cramp and would go away soon. Then she turned around to see what she had crashed into and the blood drained out of her face.

_Oh Dear._

She was sitting on the belly of a rather plump nobleman, his face red, puffed, and furious. He had on a white dress suit, embedded with some rare jewels, the fabric thick and rich. Except it wasn’t white anymore – an angry purple stain spread across his body. A quick glance to the side confirmed a smashed wine glass, its contents having comfortably absorbed by the fabric. He had inadvertently served as a break in Mina’s fall backwards through the entrance into the hallway – he must have been walking with his wine glass towards the stairs at the same time Mina had fallen.

_Well, this was going rather well._

 Mina shakily got to her feet.

“My Lord, I deeply apologize, I-”

“You wrench!” he screamed. “How dare you- you _maggot_ \- dare touch me, knock me down? How dare you look down on me-” he continued screaming, but Mina lowered her eyes and blocked his words out. This was not going to end well, and she knew it. When he had stopped to breathe in-between insults and curses, she carefully looked up.

“My Lord, please allow me to-”

“Don’t touch me!” he screamed again. “ _You_ , help me up!” he pointed to his well-dressed servant standing to the side.

Mina jumped, not having seen the nobleman’s servant, who was in fact there the whole time, but the circumstances being as they were, she had hardly processed much.

The nobleman got to his feet with many grunts and much effort, his rather large mass preventing him from making many movements. His servant grunted with effort at the same time, pushing his master’s shoulders to assist him in getting back up into a standing position.

They were now both red and sweating with the effort.

Mina would have laughed aloud at their current state if the circumstances were not so dire.

 The nobleman straightened his ruffled collar, reclaiming his authority and power, now that he had mostly recovered from the embarrassment. He started shuffling over in Mina’s direction with heavy steps, and Mina quickly lowered her gaze to the floor again.

“I really apologize, My Lord, please forgive-”

Her eyes widened to the limit when she recognized the sound of steel being drawn from its sheath. She felt the cold metal touch the skin on her throat, and she gulped without meaning to.

“Oh, I won’t kill you, wench,” the nobleman laughed, a high, disgusting laugh, clearly relishing in his power in the situation. “I can’t kill you on this property, but let’s just say that you won’t be speaking of this to anyone – in fact, I’ll make sure you can’t, hmm?”

He looked her up and down greedily, his eyes coming to rest on her well-endowed chest. Mina shivered visibly.

“Oh, yes, I’m sure you know what I mean. Now be quiet and do what I say, and you won’t regret anything.”

 

“ _YOU_ better step away if you don’t want to regret anything, you pig!” came an angry yell.

Mina gasped, everything moving very slowly, as the noble’s face contorted in front of her eyes, his face having been punched. He landed on his rear with a loud thump, blade flying out of his hands with a clatter.

A swirl of dark forest green fabric and a swish of brunette hair obstructed her vision, as teal eyes found hers.

“Mina, are you okay?”

“My Lady!”

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

Levi’s eyes widened slightly when he saw her punch the nasty-looking nobleman in the face.

_Not bad._

 

They had been navigating through the crowd below, Lady Erin listening intently and bombarding him with questions about the wide world with a spark in her eyes that he had only seen in a few. But for some reason, he had humored her, even letting slip details he hadn't yet told many. But mostly because her smile was disarming, and it set him at ease in a strange way, and he knew he didn’t mind telling her about his supposed ‘adventures’.

“My moth- I mean, Lady Carla should be upstairs,” Lady Erin had said, “She is to give her speech shortly - Just follow me, I’ll introduce you to her.”

He had been mildly surprised that his request was being accommodated for, but he had no complaints (and frankly, he had nothing better to do, and he was enjoying her company despite himself). He had nodded shortly, before following in her steps. Then - “Wait, My Lady,” he had said, making her abruptly stop. She had looked at him questioningly, a slightly worried look crossing her features.

“A Lady must be escorted,” he had said, simply offering his right arm.

She had smiled back at him (he will not admit he had thought the sun had risen early), and accepted. They had navigated the crowd together, finding the stairs to the upstairs balcony, walking down the hallway in the right direction when they had heard raised voices.

 They had both stopped in their tracks, absorbing in the situation – from what it looked like, there was a rather nasty-looking noble pointing his sword at a trembling maid further down the hallway – and it had not looked good at all.

Then Lady Erin had ripped her hands from their comfortable resting place on his forearm, and she had started running, Levi catching a quick glimpse of her face before she was gone like a gale-force wind. The expression on her face was terrifying. It had made his blood run cold – clearly, the maid was someone she knew, and he didn’t much admire that noble’s fate. Levi quickly followed – in time to hear her valiantly scream “ _YOU_ better step away if you don’t want to regret anything, you pig!” accompanied by a perfectly beautiful punch to the noble’s left cheek.

 Levi had admired the good, clean, and strong punch, and Levi now looked down at the noble sitting with his rear on the floor, nose gushing blood.

Despite himself, Levi smiled inwardly. _She really has guts._

She now seemed to make sure that the maid was alright, before turning a deadly glare in the direction of the noble on the floor, voice freezing cold.

 

“Explain yourself.”

It was a command.

The noble flinched from the authority in her voice. Then he seemed to recover.

“Wh-Who’re you? How _dare_ you-”

“I’m Erin. Erin Yeager. Now care to explain why you were threatening Mina?”

Levi saw his eyes widening. “Y-Y-Y-Yeager? Oh-Oh dear, pardon me, my Lady-” he stammered, attempting to get up. His servant once again helped lift his mass off the floor for the second time in the last five minutes. Levi almost laughed aloud at their beet-red faces, panting from the physical effort. If the situation had not been serious, he may have actually smiled. He noticed, from the corner of his eye, that the maid was also trying to supress laugher despite the situation.

Lady Erin still had a furious look on her face.

“This wench- I mean, maid, had the gall to knock me down and ruin my finery. I simply was going to teach her a lesson.”

Levi raised an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“Y-Yes! And our laws state that a direct offense committed by a low-ranked servant to one such as myself is punishable as I see fit!”

Lady Erin crossed her arms, waiting for more.

“I-I was simply engaging her in a – er- swordfight!”

“Swordfight,” Lady Erin repeated, voice deadly calm. “As I’m aware, a swordfight is supposed to be fought on _equal_ terms. Would you like to explain why Mina here was unarmed as this supposed _swordfight_ was taking place?” Levi could feel the temperature in the hallway drop a little.

“Er-“

“I’m also aware that the _low-ranked servant_ requires permission from their master before this duel commences. Mina has not yet asked me anything yet.”

“Y-You? Pardon me, Lady, I didn’t realise you were her-”

“Mina can also attain permission to participate in the duel herself, or her master - in this case, _me_ \- can substitute for her. And since you so kindly challenged my best handmaid, I gladly accept,” Lady Erin finished smoothly.

“My Lady-”

“Be quiet, Mina.”

“But-”

“Quiet, Mina.”

“If the Lady allows, I should kindly remind you that you are not allowed to participate in duels until you are formally The Lady of the House, my Lady,” Levi now spoke up.

There was a brief silence.

“That doesn’t matter! I want to-” Lady Erin turned to look at him and started protesting, but Levi cut her off.

“Would the Lady consider, say, allowing me to be the step-in instead, perhaps?”

“But Captain-”

“It is decided, then. Now what will the Lord choose to do?” asked Levi.

 

“Yes, what _will_ the Lord choose to do? If I may so ask myself - I’m simply _very_ curious,” an unfamiliar voice said.

Five heads turned in the direction of the voice, now accompanied by clear footsteps.

“Mother!” Lady Erin exclaimed.

Levi’s eyes widened, and all that registered in his head was –

_HOLY SHIT._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry there isn't much Ereri here, but soon! And also sorry if that seems like a cliffhanger - it isn't really, and I'll post the next chapter soon, so ya'll don't have to wait that long! >.> (Please don't kill me >.>)  
> I personally like slow builds, but I won't drag this out too much! (I hope) :D  
> Thank you all for reading, it means so much! I hope you enjoyed it, and please don't kill me for any historical stuff that doesn't make sense (I'm sorry I have limited knowledge, and I'm making a lot of stuff up).  
> THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!


	4. The Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets Carla Yeager – his warrior idol.  
> Then things slightly heat up with Lady Erin...??

 

***      ***      ***

 “Mother!” I exclaimed. In the situation, I had completely forgotten that mom was going to present her speech from the balcony soon. Here she was in her evening finery with a smart dress jacket that fit her form perfectly, with the fabrics of her skirts billowing behind her, decorated with jewels; double blades sheathed on either hip. She had worn a few of her medals she had won in battle, and the gold medals complimented her crimson and black wear. She walked up to us with sharp steps, heels clicking smartly against the stone, a slight frown on her face.

“Erin, causing trouble _again_?”

“Mom-”I started.

“Never mind, I’m all too used to this. What is going on here _this_ time?”

“This is Captain Levi, mother. He is the Captain of the-”

“Captain of the Survey Corps, yes, I’ve heard much about you. It’s a pleasure,” my mother acknowledged smoothly to Captain Levi. “Now Erin, I don’t need to remind you that you can’t participate in whatever duel you’ve seemingly thrown yourself into yet _again_ , and it is rather troublesome that you’ve had our honored guest involved in this matter. It’s bad enough for Mikasa to keep taking over your duel challenges, let alone a guest!”

 _“Mom!”_ I said in frustration. “He challenged Mina to a duel without my notice, I wasn’t about to take it sitting down! So of course I have to take her place!”

“And as Captain, I am allowed to participate in all duels, and since Lady Erin cannot participate, it would be my pleasure,” said Captain Levi.

My mother sighed, her frown visibly deepening.

“I understand a challenge cannot be recalled, so I very much regret to impose this upon you, Captain. The rules specifically prohibit me from challenging warriors of Shiganshina. I am truly sorry for the trouble my daughter has caused you.”

 “It is no trouble at all. It is an honor to receive your approval, Lady Carla.”

“The honor is mine. Now, what will the Lord choose to do?”

I must have imagined it, but mother’s frown seemed to vanish, replaced by a faint smile. I could have sworn both mother and the Captain seemed to be rather enjoying this - I swear I saw them both exchange glances, while a ghost of a smile crossed both of their features.

 

***      ***      ***

 

Why had he done it?

Levi couldn’t answer that question, himself.

Shiganshina Kingdom had an age-old tradition of settling disputes through challenges through duels. It is how the kingdom had maintained an almost bloodless history after the Dark Ages. If any two parties of Lords and Ladies had a disagreement of any sort, the dispute would be settled through a duel.

 

Duels could be of any sort, of any duration, with terms settled previous to the actual Duel. If the two parties were too hotheaded to settle even and reasonable terms at the time of the dispute, a third party would intervene to settle terms at a later date and time, then the duel would proceed at the pre-determined location, date and time.

Sword duelling was the most popular option in Shiganshina Kingdom, although Levi knew that areas north of Trost preferred Archery contests as that region was primarily mountainous where hunting was very common, thus leading the local warriors to be naturally trained in the use of a  bow and arrow.

However, those allowed to participate in such duels had to carry a position of a “Lord” or a “Lady” of their house. If the party in question were not of such position, then they had to attain permission of their Lord or Lady, whereupon the Lord or Lady could either grant permission for the duel or take their place. Taking place of their servants was not a practice most nobles followed, and most left their poor untrained servants to their ill fate. The Lord or Lady could even request another party to take their place – as long as the other party was ‘willing’. The final decision as to who would participate in the duel would rest on the Lord or Lady.

Death in duels was not permitted – but not unheard of. Punishment from lost duels could be anything the winner saw fit, but there would be a third party to mediate the duel. Again, it was not unheard of for mediators to be bribed, or to disappear from known lands.

But it kept the peace. Disputes were resolved peacefully, albeit through disgusting and questionable means at times. The Kingdom saw little bloodshed. Gone were the times when people pulled out blades and arrows and shot, slashed, or hacked away at each other over the smallest hint of trouble.

If Lord A had troubles with Lady B, they would duel. Upon losing, Lady B would lose part of her estate, or would be forced to give away one of her children, or would serve as a servant for a week at Lord A’s estate – or any number of punishments the winner could think of. All would be resolved _peacefully_.  

 

Levi frowned inwardly. As much as he appreciated that no one would be killed – he still hated the system, and most of all, he still hated these nobles.

But Lady Erin had surprised him. Hell – she had actually shocked him. With the ease she stepped into the fray to defend her maid Mina. The easy way she offered up herself to be a participant in the duel, knowing well that if the terms weren’t settled properly, she could easily lose herself as a prize to the disgusting Lord’s wishes. It had been the first time Levi had seen someone – especially someone of noble status- to step up to defend someone else in a lower position. If anything, the Lady seemed to have (if he dared think) – _respect_ for her own maid.

He recalled her easy laugh back in the gardens – her eyes as they seemed to sparkle and light up as if there were candles lit within her. She was also very interested in the Survey Corps, which was very unusual for someone in her position – and she had been genuinely interested in what he had to say. He had warmed to her unusually quickly even though his usual demeanor betrayed nothing. _He actually liked her._

So he surprised even himself at the ease with which he offered his own position to take her place. It didn’t matter if Lady Erin did not approve – she was not Lady of the house yet as that position belonged to Lady Carla; and Lord Mikasa was not around to give his approval.

And Lady Carla had approved. She had grinned at him when Lady Erin hadn’t been looking, and his eyes had widened at the acknowledgement –he had smiled slightly back.

After such a display of courage from Lady Erin (and valor he didn’t know had existed in this day and age) – he had easily stepped up to take her spot.

_He definitely wouldn’t mind the opportunity to kick this little piece of shit calling himself a Lord till he resembled a writhing mass of jelly._

Levi allowed himself a small smile at the thought.

 

***      ***      ***

 

 “Oh, _goodness_ , Erin, please – surely not AGAIN?”

Armin brought his palms up to his face. He quickly glanced around to check for Mikasa – he was nowhere to be seen. Mikasa had taken a lady to the gardens for a brief walk – it was the golden-haired lady with piercing blue eyes that Armin had noticed leaning silently against the wall for a while. The Lady had caught Mikasa’s attention since the beginning – but he had stayed quiet about it, and when the crowd of ladies surrounding them had dissipated, Mikasa had approached her. After what seemed like a quick exchange, Mikasa had let Armin know that they would be taking a stroll in the garden – to which Armin had nodded with raised eyebrows – Mikasa had _never_ taken an interest in a lady before-

Armin snapped himself out of his thoughts. He needed to get more facts out of his friend before she escaped yet again. He had taken one look at her face and Mina’s before piecing together what could have happened.

He was shorter than Erin- he pulled her sleeve, and yanked her head down to a level where he could whisper in her ear.

“Be careful. The Captain’s reputation today goes far and wide, but he’s had a shady past. He used to be a thug in the Capital’s underground district while back.”

He could see Erin’s eyes widen, and she pulled back. “That has nothing to do with-”

“I _know,_ Erin. Just – be careful, alright? It’s not unusual for yourself to get pulled into situations like this – last time you kicked that Lord from the Capital-”

“He hit his own gardener – he was an old man with three grandchildren!” Erin hissed. “And I don’t care that mother had to give up one of her medals – Mikasa still won, and I wish he did more damage,” Erin finished viciously.

Armin sighed. He could see Captain Levi standing a few paces away, arms folded, head turned away to give them the privacy of their conversation. Mina stood next to him, keeping a close eye on her lady.

“We’re making the Captain wait. You should join him– you should ask him for a dance, since he’s the only one you’ve spoken to and not knocked out,” Armin grinned.

The dance had started after Lady Carla had given her speech, and now many couples spun and twirled in good merrymaking over music. The mood was light and there were smiles and much laughter everywhere.

“Wha-no – I couldn’t possibly-” Erin stammered.

_Wait, was that a blush Armin saw?_

“Oh hush, atleast go and stand next to him if you’re so scared. I’ll see you around, I need to make sure Mikasa doesn’t hear about today’s events until tomorrow.”

Armin saw Erin clench her fists and nod at him in understanding.

Now Armin had to make sure Mikasa didn’t hear about how Erin had challenged another nobleman and gotten herself into another situation. Mikasa would explode on the spot – not a good idea at this party. Better Armin tell Mikasa tomorrow in private – along with the information he had gathered on Erin’s ‘mysterious’ escort they had seen earlier – aka Captain Levi. Who now had gotten himself involved in Erin’s duel – how _was_ Armin going to explain all this to Mikasa?

_What a troublesome pair of siblings._

 

***      ***      ***

 

The music had changed – the violins had smoothly blended with the flutes into a slightly slower pace, but the music was still light and happy, and skirts were twirling, heels and boots clicking with the rhythm, laughter and conversation still in full swing. I twiddled my thumbs nervously behind my back.

Captain Levi was quiet. Wild thoughts rushed through my head – was he upset? Most likely – he was thrown in a duel that had nothing to do with him – and it was all _my_ fault – usually, Mikasa would take my place in duel challenges but he wasn’t there this time, and somehow my mother had approved the Captain’s proposition. He was probably upset, then. I balled up my fists behind me, frowning at the floor – unable to think of what to say in this situation.

“Oi, brat.”

_Huh?_

I looked up, then looked down again – it was almost amusing how the Captain’s eyes were a good head below mine, and I adjusted my line of sight to look at him in the eye. I had heard much about him, but never knew he was actually a short man- although the power he carried within him made everyone else look small.

“You look like you need to piss. Do you need to go? Because-”

“I certainly do not!” I huffed, slightly surprised at his ability to casually state such things. “I’m fine – I’m just-” I trailed off, biting my lip.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Huh?”

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t have accepted it if I didn’t want to. Besides, the duel is first blood. No one will die. Or do you doubt my ability to win?”

“No- it’s not that-”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about, is there, brat.”

I blinked. He said it with such certainty and such conviction, and although I had no doubt since the beginning, somehow, when he said it, it made everything okay, almost normal. I felt small waves of relief pass through my stomach.

“Now what are you smiling at with such wide teeth, brat.”

“Oh! Uhm…well…”

I still couldn’t stop smiling despite myself. I felt my hands relax from their clenched position behind my back, and I brought them forward, folding them casually in front of myself. I hadn’t felt so relaxed in a while, even though we had been in a nasty situation some moments before.

“The music is nice,” I said.

“Mhm.”

“Would you- would you care for-”

“I believe that is my place to say, brat.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry! I did it again-” I stammered, realizing my mistake.

I heard a chuckle.  “It’s ok, brat. You can relax.”

“W-Well then, shall we-?”

He took a step back smartly, placing his left hand behind himself, and bringing his right upwards in an offer. I smiled slightly, raising my own to place it in his. I felt slight goosebumps go through my arms at the contact. _His hand is so warm…._

Hand in hand, both of us moved silently towards the dancing crowd. I felt nervous all of a sudden. I had never _actually_ danced at a party before – Even though I have had plenty of ‘practice’ at lessons before – from a stiff faced, clearly frustrated teacher at my total lack of coordination. I wondered if the Captain noticed my sweaty hands – because I was about to step on his toes. _A lot._ _I should have given this more thought-_ I cursed inwardly. He turned towards me, and now we were facing each other. I gulped, unable to ignore the storm of butterflies in my stomach at this point. He was right, I definitely did need to _go_ , and go _now_. His silvery-grey eyes were piercing, looking right _through_ me. I felt my cheeks heat up, and I was desperately hoping that he couldn’t visibly see how disarmed I felt.

Then suddenly we were moving, smooth steps to the left and right. We went through the first awkward twirl- caused due to our height difference, because he had to stand on his toes momentarily while I completed the turn as quickly as possible – but then we were back, his hand firmly around my waist and mine on his shoulder. He was in total control of himself – his movements were defined, smooth, and decisive.

In the meantime, I felt like I was stumbling through one move and onto the next, barely keeping up with his timing and elegant movements. Then I really did stumble, crashing face-first into him.

My heart nearly stopped beating. My face was buried in his chest – it was solid, and I could feel his pulsing heart through the fabric. He was like a wall – he took the impact and barely moved backwards, I could tell his strength lived up to his reputation. My breathing sped up, and I was fairly sure it had nothing to do with the exertion caused by dancing.

The movement of other dancers continued all around us, in time with the lively music.

“Oi, Brat. Are you okay?” I heard his concerned voice.

I snapped my head back. “I-I’m fine. Sorry. I’m terrible at dancing-”

He chuckled. I looked up quickly, surprised to see a delicate smile on his features. It did nothing to stop my racing heart, the stupid _thing_ in fact decided to speed up. Darn it, he needed to stop being so gorgeous.

“Come on, let’s continue,” he said, pulling me up. “Don’t worry, you’re a natural.”

I quickly nodded, staring at my skirts, quietly gasping when he pulled me in close.

Now I dropped my chin to look at him, _oh no_ , his face was so very _close_ -

Then we were moving again, but faster, smoother. I couldn’t look away from his eyes the entire time, because his eyes were boring into mine-

We broke away for a moment to start the steps for a twirl – and I turned, feeling the fabric of my skirt flare out underneath me. _And it was beautiful._ Everything around me was sparking with a radiance that I had never noticed before. It was as if time had slowed down, and the candlelight glinting off various jewelry and surfaces made the colours dazzle. I could feel the warmth in my fingertips where we were touching- and the warmth spread to my toes. The twirl finished, and I was back to facing him, and we were now closer than before without my noticing. I stepped away for another twirl, and instantly missed being near him. When I returned, I returned with a crash, and I think maybe he did too, because now we were pressed up closer than most in our vicinity. I tightened my grip on his shoulder, and I felt him hold me tighter around my waist. The music continued, but the timing for the twirl slipped my notice, because my gaze was focused on his eyes. I was painfully aware of my gaze slipping below to the almost perfect bridge of his nose, to his lips –

We had stopped moving.

Suddenly, I was aware of my vice-tight grip on his shoulder, my breaths coming in quick and short, my skin touching his through my sweaty palms.

“-Oi, brat,” I heard I a slightly choked voice.

“Huh?”

I shook my head, realizing the situation I was in. The piece had long ended and had changed again to a faster beat. I stepped away quickly, realizing our proximity.

“Um...”

“Levi! A word, if you may.” A deep voice interrupted us.

I looked up quickly to the source – it came from the left, we were at the very edge of the dance floor.

“Pardon my rudeness, Lady Erin. I’m truly sorry to bother you in the middle of your dance, but it is imperative I speak to Levi. Would you mind-?”

The voice belonged to a tall man with slicked back blond hair– he had icy blue eyes that had a certain glint which strangely reminded me of Armin. Another blond man with parted hair stood at his shoulder.

Captain Levi glared in their general direction, then sighed.

“Brat, it looks like I’m being called. Sorry about this-”

“Oh, no – not at all! Please, go ahead – if anything, sorry for taking up your time-”

He smiled slightly. It softened up his features, and sent shivers down my spine at the same time. Stepping away, he saluted smartly, right fist slamming into his chest.

“It has been a pleasure, _Lady Erin_ ,” he said, with a slight mocking emphasis. I felt some colour rise up in my cheeks.

“P-Pleasure is mine,” I muttered, and slightly regretting that the dance had been short. Hell, I had actually _enjoyed_ the dance! The feeling of his hand over my waist still lingered, and I had a strange urge to put my hand on his solid shoulder once again. Then I shook my head, reminding myself that it was over.

“Uh- Thank you for everything, Captain. For-for telling me about your adventures. And- f-for everything else,” I finished lamely.

The Captain nodded, before turning to the blond pair who had called out to us.

“What the _hell_ is it, Erwin?” I heard him say, before the three stepped smartly away, and I was left staring at their backs. The man called Erwin lowered his head to whisper something to Levi, at which all three of them quickened their steps further. I saw them dodge between a cluster of nobles, Captain Levi’s head disappearing. My hands dropped, falling loosely onto my sides. Then I saw the man called Erwin quickly turn his head and smile, looking right at me. Surprised, I smiled back, and raised my hand in a wave, but he had already turned around, and all three momentarily disappeared from my sight. Feeling disappointment, I turned, only to find Mina standing near the wall, arms crossed.

“Haven’t disappeared again, I see.”

I groaned.

“Mina, I swear you think I’m an escaped rat or something – as you could plainly see, I was actually dancing, and I thought that’s what you wanted me to do!”

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you actually followed expectations- but the second I’m not looking-”

“But I was right here! You don’t trust me at all-”

“Give me _ONE_ reason to believe-”

And we fell into our usual comfortable bickering.

 

***      ***      ***

 

I started at my ceiling. It was the usual ceiling, stone arches defined in strong curves, the carving of the master craftsman visible as the moonlight streamed in through open windows. My curtains fluttered in the slight wind. Sleep hadn’t come easily, and I was lying in bed, tired from the day, but still unable to sleep.

I closed my eyes- then instantly they snapped open, my cheeks reddening. _Darn it, why couldn’t I think of anything else?_

His steel-grey eyes bore into mine the second I dared close my eyes. I clearly felt his touch against mine, holding one hand steady, while the other rested on my waist. I felt a little silly, moving my own hand to rest against my own waist. I instantly regretted it, because it brought back memories of the dance in waves, his easy and strong steps resonating within me as he came closer, pulling me towards him-

I buried my face in my pillows.

 

It had been three weeks since the party.

 

_Why why why why why? Why do I feel like this?_

His strong back as he turns away, walking into the crowd – the crowd disappears, but he keeps walking, walking _away_ from me, his back still turned, growing smaller until he disappears from sight-

I let out a scream of frustration, my face still buried in my pillows.

I wanted to touch him again, I wanted to feel his eyes boring into mine, I wanted to look into those eyes, those eyes which lit up when he spoke about his adventures – I wanted to hear more about the time when he was separated with his team and he had run into a pair of bloodthirsty Wolf-dogs, except he wouldn’t be alone- he would have _me_ with him-

I threw the pillow away, sitting up in my bed with my hair in my fists. I threw away my covers angrily- they weren’t helping-

I crawled out, taking only a single pillow and a blanket. I moved to the large window seat, where the moon was clearly visible. I curled up there with the blanket, and looked up to the moon.

 _Is he looking at the moon right now_ _too_ _?_ I wondered, instantly blushing at the cheesy thought. I closed my eyes, clearly seeing his grey eyes looking into mine.

I slowly drifted to sleep.

 

***      ***      ***

 

“My Lady, it’s morning. Please wake up-”

Mina stopped, finding the bed empty. She frowned, knowing her lady was usual to sleep in, and it normally took the equivalent of a marching band to wake her up.

Mina walked to the bed, looking at the pillows thrown onto the floor, the covers thrown aside as if in anger or frustration. Then she spotted a white mass curled up in the window seat, sunlight streaming in. A mop of messy brown hair was visible from underneath the blanket.

“My Lady, do you know what day it is today?” Mina said in sing-song, approaching the window seat. She got a sleepy murmur in response.

Mina moved to the window seat, and tugged at the blanket, pulling the blanket off her Lady.

Lady Erin muttered in her sleep, and Mina stopped to stare. Lady Erin was _smiling_ in her sleep. Now that was very unusual- she was usually angry at everything all the time – angry at being unable to participate in duels, angry because she wasn’t very good at her studies but she tried hard, angry that her brother constantly worried over her, angry that her father was always away from home –

Mina heard her lady mutter something incoherent again.

“My lady, is today not the day you were waiting for? My lady, if you don’t wake up, the duel will end without your notice!”

Lady Erin’s eyes snapped open.

“What? It ended? How?”

Mina giggled. “You’re still half-asleep, my lady. Now please, prepare yourself. We have a long day ahead of us.”

Lady Erin yawned and stretched. She looked outside the window, taking in the clear cloudless blue sky and felt the sunlight bathe her tanned skin.

Yes, today would certainly be a long day.

 

***      ***      ***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long to put this one up! I was at at Anime convention, and you know - last minute costume put-together, etc, took forever and ever and here I am being behind with updates. But hopefully you enjoyed my pathetic late-ness being offset by the cheesy Erin-Levi dance moment (I swear they are so cute together doing ANYTHING together!! //crazy internal fangirling// eekkkkk!!)


	5. The Luncheon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady Erin and Captain Levi become friends.  
> And Levi gets warmed up for the duel!

 

 

 

Mikasa’s glare made the grass around me shrivel up and die. I quickly looked away, only to feel the intensity of his glare increase significantly – I swear, although it was still spring, the heat from his glare would be enough to start a small forest fire.

“I don’t care that mother approved of this,” he stated flatly. “I absolutely cannot believe you got yourself into _another_ fight Erin, not to mention it was _his_ fault for _encouraging_ this even more by participating!”

“Mikasa!” I exclaimed, appalled. “It was certainly _not_ Captain Levi’s fault, he was kind enough to-”

“Oh? Since when are you so familiar with _Captain Midget?_ ”

“M-Midget? W-What do you-” 

“Mikasa, that’s enough,” a quiet voice interrupted. I looked to Armin, my best friend, who had stepped in to save the day. “You’ve gone over this enough times already with Erin. We’ve all agreed that this is for the best – Erin is not participating directly, remember, and although _you_ seem to not like the Captain, I assure you that if he didn’t mean for the best, it would be Mina going into this duel, _alone_ , and the outcome would be anything but pleasant.”

Mikasa opened his mouth to argue, but closed it again quickly after a glance at Mina, who stood by my side.

No-one had won an argument with Armin to this date, and I was glad for it, now especially than ever.

“Fine,” Mikasa huffed, looking away.

I thought back to this morning- having shovelled down my breakfast as fast as my mouth and throat would allow, I had downed my coffee in one gulp, searing my tongue; brushed my teeth and washed in record speed; gotten dressed with Mina’s help, but not fast enough – she had been meticulous about the dress and taken _forty minutes_ to choose the darn thing with the help of _four_ other maids!

Then - corset, four petticoats, and multiple dresses later; hair brushed, curled, and fixed in place; stuffed in matching shoes; jewelry thrown-in; and finally powdered and eye-coaled.

“You mustn’t forget the scents, my Lady,” said Mina coyly, coming up to me with a small glass bottle of rose-scented perfume. I looked at it irritably before moving my hair from the base of my neck, and shuddering at the contact of the cold drips of scent. I felt my skin soak up the liquid while the remainder dissipated, and the pleasant scent of white roses lingered in the air.

“You look absolutely stunning, my Lady,” said Mina, a satisfied smile on her face. The four maids around her gave me small nods and tired smiles, looking pleased with themselves.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now can we _go?_ I don’t want to miss the duel-”

“The duel isn’t set for well until after luncheon, my Lady.”

“W- _What?_ You tricked me-”

“Well, there was no other way to have you out of bed any other way, my Lady. Now do us all a favour and smile for all our guests today, alright?”

“Huh? I am _not_ smiling for those pigs-” I started to say, balling up my fists, when my eyes fell upon my reflection. Two of the maids had dragged a full-length bronze mirror in front of me, while Mina had pushed me from behind so I was standing directly in front of it.

I could barely recognize myself.

Staring back at me was a- Lady. A _real_ lady, a really – well, beautiful one. I couldn’t recognize the green eyes as mine as they stared back at me while the bold eye-coal made them look larger than normal. The powder and blush must have done their job, because I’ve never seen my face glow so much. I didn’t realize that my lips parting in awe at Mina’s handiwork. She had never gone this far before with any other occasion that I had to have been prepared and dressed for.

Mina put both her hands on either side of my shoulders from behind and peeked out from behind me. My eyes caught hers in the reflection of the mirror – she was smiling at me.

 

“Now will you go and smile for Captain Levi?”

 

I quickly gathered my skirts and turned on the spot to leave – I had just witnessed my face turning the same shade as the ripe apple I had eaten for breakfast. I heard five sets of giggles blossom into laughter behind my back while I made to run out of the room as quickly as possible.

 

***      ***      ***

 

“Taxes to the east have increased significantly-”

“By too much, Commander Pixis. We must ensure it is brought up as a key point of discussion in the next national conference,” a deep voice stated.

Footsteps echoed off-of stone walls, voices engaged in deep discussion.

“Erwin, some of these noblemen, they will never learn. You know that- yet you keep trying.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

“Yes,” came the simple answer. “And I will keep trying as long as I am alive.”

“Hmph. Quite noble of you- no offense intended. Now what brings you to the Yeager estate? I was not aware you had business here…”

“I was invited, courtesy of the Lady Carla. One of my best men is duelling today,” Erwin supplied, to which Commander Pixis nodded.

“Ah. The same duel to which I shall be judge.”

Erwin blinked.

“Ah! Here is where you two gentlemen are,” came a light but authoritative voice. Both men stiffened, offering their salutes to Lady Carla, who approached them from the other side of the corridor. Two guards flanked her, following two paces behind. Carla stopped, returning the salute smoothly. She was dressed in a smart uniform today, none of her decorative medals visible. She meant business.

“Thank you for coming today, Commander Erwin, Commander Pixis. This way, if you please. We have some time before the duel commences, and I had invited you because I wish to discuss some important matters before then. And thank you for accepting the role of judge, Commander Pixis – that noble had recommended another judge from the Military Police – and I find them quite untrustworthy at times,” Lady Carla frowned.

“Ah, my pleasure. As it is, I have not judged for a while, and I’m sure today’s duel shall prove to be quite entertaining,” Pixis said, slipping Erwin a sideways glance. Erwin didn’t miss it.

“Oh, I believe you shall be quite entertained,” said Erwin, the corners of his lips turning upwards in a grin.

 

***      ***      ***

 

Levi dismounted from his horse, boots firmly hitting hard ground. He stroked the muzzle of his fine chestnut steed. He fished around in his pocket for the remainder of the carrot he had fed the horse that morning, and the horse gently took it, nudging Levi’s extended hand lightly as an indication of thanks.

“…This manor is stupidly large, just as I remember it…” he muttered under his breath, remembering the last time he had been here, three weeks ago. Some other memories surfaced as well, to which Levi shook his head quickly, grabbing a rein to give it a quick tug. His well-trained horse immediately followed his lead, hooves clopping against cobblestones. Levi looked straight ahead, following the twisting path around the back to the stables. A stable boy had greeted him at the front and offered to take his horse, but he had flatly refused. He didn’t trust anyone besides himself to give his horse the right treatment it needed. Besides, he liked to brush his horse down himself, and ensure the feed was fresh and the stable stall _clean_ , because unfortunately, he had yet to find anyone who met his standards of _clean_.

He could see the stables up ahead now- large, well-maintained wooden structures. He was also approaching another large enclosure with a big wooden shed, piles of fresh hay outside, where undoubtedly more animals were kept. He slowed his pace, leisurely taking in his surroundings.

 

Then unmistakable laughter rang through the air, which resonated through his bones, and he stopped in his tracks.

 

“Ah-Ahahahaha! You lick me too much, little one!” came a faint but light voice, which rang like bells. He didn’t notice letting go of his horse’s rein. Being well-trained, the horse didn’t move, knowing his master would return.

Levi quickened his steps towards the large enclosure, almost falling while vaulting over the small enclosure gate. His horse let out an amused snort over his master’s antics. But Levi paid no attention.

“Ahhh, you’re so soft and cuddly! Oh, you too of course, fluffy one! Awww you both are soooo ab-so-lute-ly adorable!” the voice said in sing-song.

Levi took five quick steps towards the small wooden shed, and flung the door open, hands sweating.

It took him a minute to register the sight in front of him.

Lady Erin was sitting on a stool, skirts hitched up to her knees. She was surrounded by-

By the holy father of-

She was surrounded by what appeared to be a small army of small rabbits on the floor, a few of them on their hind legs trying to get closer to her, while she held at least seven of them in her lap and arms.

And wait- was she wearing _men’s breeches_ under her skirts _again_?

“Ahhh, you’re soooo-” Lady Erin continued, oblivious, voice hitching up in squeals of pleasure over her fluffy company, when the sudden draft from the doorway made her look up- “cuuuuteeeeeeAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  
Lady Erin stared at her visitor with eyes blown wide in shock. Captain Levi stared back.

Silence lingered for a minute.

Then finally, Lady Erin seemed to recover, breaking the silence.

“W-Wasn’t expecting you here just yet, Captain,” choked out Lady Erin, some strange tremors audible in her voice.

Levi cleared his throat. “W-Well, yes, I arrived early,” he said, eyes glancing downwards, “B-By the way, your breeches…”

“H-Huh? AHHH!”

Lady Erin made to hastily hitch her skirts down, quickly lowering all her fluffy companions to the floor safely.

 “Um…please…pay it...no mind…” she said in a small voice.

“Pffft-”

“Huh?” Lady Erin looked up, surprised.

“These rabbits are soooo cute, huh?” smirked Captain Levi, more amused now at the way which Lady Erin’s face seemed to turn three different shades of red.

“You must really like animals.”

“I-I love them. They’re good company,” she said.

“Much better than _them_ ,” she added under her breath.

“But –oh! Pardon me, I haven’t properly greeted you yet!” she exclaimed, gathering herself and putting the stool away. Satisfied, she now approached the door where Levi stood. She curtsied, raising her eyes to look at Captain Levi.

“Welcome, Captain Levi. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“It’s a pleasure to see you too…” the rest of the words never left his mouth.

Levi blinked thrice. _She was stunning._

Her beautiful, large, orb-like eyes glowed with an energy he had not seen earlier. In fact, they looked larger than ever, threatening to overtake his vision with the energy. Her face glowed in the light, practically radiating like the sun. Her glance from her curtsey wasn’t helping, as her face was in a low position, and Levi stood breathless, gaze unable to leave the slightly parted, rose-coloured lips. He was unable to think - she was clearly more beautiful than he remembered...

“C-Captain?”

Her light voice knocked him out of his daze, but only momentarily- his gaze went to rest on her neck, where a strand of silky hair had fallen out of its curls. A faint but highly pleasant scent of white roses reached his nose, and he had the urge to reach out and pull her close and taste her lips, her neck-

“Captain? All you all right?” came her concerned voice.

“I-I’m fine…”

“You must be tired! S-Shall I have someone take you to your quarters?”

Levi shook his head. “Why don’t you show me around this huge place instead, brat.”

 

***      ***      ***

 

Luncheon was a noisy matter.

The terrace was deemed a suitable spot by the Chief Butler to entertain our guests, and I wasn’t complaining. The weather was perfect, accompanied by the occasional warm spring breeze. Several tables had been joined together to create a single large one, the courses alternating through the maids' efforts. Mother was seated at the head of the table; the other head empty. If my father was present, he would have been seated at the other head. But he was away at the moment, gone to a remote village in the north to administer medical care and contribute his valued skills as a doctor.

Closest to my mother, to her immediate left and right, sat Commander Dot Pixis and Commander Erwin Smith. Normally, those spots would be privileged to Mikasa and myself, but mother had said she still had matters to discuss with the Commanders and if I would mind sitting next to Captain Levi- I had stuttered back that I would certainly _not_ mind-

Mother was now engaged in deep discussion with the Commanders, food forgotten, and she was listening attentively to Commander Smith’s proposition.

A raucous peal of laughter interrupted my thoughts. I looked to my left, where Squad Leader Hange Zoe unsuccessfully tried to contain their laughter over something Squad Leader Mike Zacharius had said. He was sitting opposite them, and shielded his plate slightly with his arm, since bits of lettuce were prone to be raining down during one of Squad Leader Hange’s laughing fits.

“Oi, shitty glasses. I’m trying to eat my food here, and I can do without bits of yours ending up in mine.”

“Come on, Levi, can’t you laugh once in a while? Look, especially since you’ve got the cute Lady Erin sitting next to you-”

I quickly looked down at my plate, cutting into the remnants of the food and trying to avoid any eye contact with anyone - and especially trying to ignore the presence to my right.

“Tch.”

“Leeeeviiiiiiii,” drawled Squad Leader Hange. “If you keep that up, you won’t make _any_ friends!”

“Don’t need ‘em.”

“Levi! You can’t say that! You _need_ friends! Friends are a person’s life and soul! Friends keep you company through thick and thin! They keep you sane when you feel like you’re going insane!”

“Then they can’t be very useful, since you’re already insane.”

“Ahahahaha! But this isn’t about me! This is about youuuuuu, Levi. You need-” Squad Leader Hange continued rambling, while I shot a quick glance at their wine glass. They had finished only half a glass, and I wondered if it was the alcohol, or just their regular behaviour. I concluded it must be the latter, because someone couldn’t get drunk on _half_ a glass of wine, right? _Right?_

I glanced up to see Mikasa- seated directly opposite me, and Armin seated beside Mikasa, which made him be directly opposite Captain Levi.

He laughed at something the Squad Leader said, his blond head thrown back in amusement.

“Oh, in that case, Erin could use some friends, too. She refuses to talk to anyone else and make friends besides us. She can be friends with Captain Levi!”

I jerked my head up at the words, looking automatically towards my right.

I caught Captain Levi’s eyes, who had had turned to look at me at the same time- and I was trapped in the gaze.

 

“…llo?…llo? Hello? Is the Lady still here?”

  
“Ah. Ahem,” I said snapping my head up, feeling a slight heat in my cheeks. I turned my attention back to my plate, bringing up my fork to have a mouthful. I looked up in the process, and caught Mikasa glaring at the Captain across the table with the intensity of a midday desert sun. I choked on my lentils, scrabbling to down my glass of water.

“M-Mikasa! What are you doing?” I asked, appalled.

“Erin. If this midg-”

“Ahh, no he won’t- Mikasa, stop that!” Armin intervened quickly, taking control. “Captain Levi, Mikasa is just….protective of his sister. Please understand. We would all like for Erin to have friends who take care of her, because as you already know, she has a knack for trouble…”

“Hn.”

“So come onnnn! Be friends already!” Squad Leader Hange squealed.

“R-Right. Well, um, Captain Levi, w-would you…like to be…uh…friends?” I asked, desperately wishing for a hole I could crawl into.

“I don’t see what could be the harm.”

I blinked, surprised he had accepted so quickly. I think I was almost expecting a refusal, because my shoulder and back muscles were relaxing, and I hadn’t realized I had tensed up so much.

“O-Oh. Uh…Okay. Well then…thank you?” My hands nervously fidgeted in my lap.

“Hmph. Why are you thanking me, friends don’t do that.”

“S-Sorry! I meant-”

“Why are you apologizing, brat.”

I let out a nervous laugh, not knowing what to say.

“Aww, you’re absolutely adorable! Quite the _Lady,_ isn’t she, Levi?” joked Hange, putting their arms around my shoulders.

I blinked, trying to place the sarcasm in those words. I had a strange feeling when Squad Leader Hange was involved, and I had a stranger feeling that they were far smarter than they let on.  Right now, a slight feeling of unease spread through my stomach, because it almost seemed like Squad Leader Hange _knew_ something-

The rest of luncheon passed without a hitch. I was aware of frequent glances being sent my way from Captain Levi, it was probably because I had sauce on my chin the whole time without my knowing (Mina had quickly taken me aside and resolved the issue later); and I am loath to admit that I had been trying to catch a glimpse of Captain Levi throughout Luncheon, especially that of his heavily lidded and determined eyes, and I still couldn’t believe we were now _friends-_

 

_I was ACTUALLY friends with Captain Levi!_

 

***      ***      ***

 

Except I am pretty sure friends do not usually stare at the other’s fine muscled behind.

It was well after luncheon, and our group had gathered in the large practice area, to be used as today’s duelling grounds. A footman had reported our opponents to have arrived, and they were being led this way at the moment.

Commander Pixis, who had wrapped up talks with my mother, now took the official blue judging robe and slung it over his shoulders, now granting him absolute authority over life-and-death in this match. He had been chosen as the impartial judge by my mother, so I could rest assured that he would be fair.

Not that there was anything to worry about, since the terms settled was first blood: the match would stop at the first sign of blood, or until one opponent was knocked out cold, or one was unable to continue due to any number of reasons, or until one admitted defeat, and so on. Of course, death was not permitted, and the judge could stop the match anytime if they thought lives were in danger or if dangerous moves were being used.

But despite these rules and so called safety-nets, accidents and mishaps did happen.

 

I tried not to think about it.

 

I especially tried not to think about the outcome of the loser. _Those_ terms were yet to be fully settled - during the ball, the nobleman had stuttered out that he would place terms on the day of the duel.

I tapped my foot – I was almost certain of the Captain’s victory, but not knowing the terms yet made me slightly nervous. Technically, the disgusting pig could ask for anything as a winning prize deemed reasonable for the nature of the conflict (mediated by the judge), and we could state a similar prize as a victory winnings as well. I still hoped that it wasn’t something outrageous, while another part of me was dying to see the Captain in action.

Captain Levi had taken off his coat, revealing his well-formed muscles covered in perfectly-fitting breeches tucked into knee-high boots.

He was rolling up his sleeves, revealing beautifully carved forearm muscles, and I was slightly disappointed when he stopped just above his elbows. He rotated his upper body to stretch slightly – and I saw the fabric of his shirt tighten over his well-formed chest and stomach muscles.

I think I had stopped breathing a while back.

 

Currently, my gaze was focused on his rather well-formed behind, when the thought of _“but he is supposed to be a friend!”_ interrupted me rudely.

I certainly did not regret the view though.

 

A butler appeared and announced the presence of the Lord, at which everyone cleared the area for the contestants and judge. I made to stand by the edge of the clearly-marked square duel arena, noticing my mother standing on the opposite arena edge.

 

Then a sharp dig in my ribs from Armin, accompanied by a whispered “They’ve brought a mercenary as the duel contestant! That’s unfair!”

 

I hissed.

 

_Those pigs._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was acceptable......  
> And I can only hope I can take this story to some interesting places from here on!  
> Thank you SO much for reading this far already!!  
> I can atleast promise the action has barely started.....  
> ;D


	6. The Duel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi kicks some ass.  
> Then things take a scary turn...?

 

She fidgeted with a loose string on her well-worn apron, staring down at a blade of grass growing in-between two large stone slabs. She looked nervously to the right, and the plump noble caught her eye, a large grin marking his face, making her inadvertently shiver slightly. A tall figure stood next to him, face hidden by a wide hood. His robe was in tatters, but his hand rested easily on the hilt of the curved sword on his waist. The embedded jewels in the sword glinted in the sunlight, giving Mina an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

She quickly looked away towards her left, now catching the eye of her Lady, who smiled back in encouragement. The tension quickly faded away, and she was able to return the smile slightly. But the smile quickly faded when she laid eyes on the man standing next to her Lady.

_Captain Levi._

She knew about him, because she had heard about who he was through his reputation; rumours, stories, legends, some true, some wild, some impossible, some fiction.

But she had never actually _seen_ him fight.

And that is what made her nervous. She was grateful that the Captain had agreed to be her Lady’s proxy, but this was different. Mina remembered Master Mikasa during practice – flawless, efficient, strong, deadly. His sword hand held steady, she had seen Master Mikasa pierce through thick logs in practice in the blink of an eye, knowing the effect would be deadly on a real foe.

“Red party, you may now continue with the proposition.”

The clearly old, but commanding voice snapped her mind back to her current situation. Commander Pixis, no – The Honorable Judge – had spoken.

“I, Lord Walgelijk* of the Noble Kingdom of Rose, now propose to lay terms with all parties present.”

The nobleman wobbled forward, rubbing his hands together.

“This insolen- Ah, maid here, shall face punishment for the blatant humiliation I have had to endure due to her impudent actions-”

“Get to the point if you don’t want to humiliate yourself further,” interrupted Lady Erin.

Squad Leader Hange sniggered. Mina looked over to her lady, who had her arms crossed in front of her, tapping her foot impatiently. Wait, was Captain Levi _smiling_? No, couldn’t be, must have been a trick of her mind. But that was definitely a clear smile on Commander Smith’s face; oh dear, these new friends of her Lady were certainly very bold to be taking it so easy in such a serious situation.

“Wh-Well then. My winning term is that maid-” the nobleman said, pointing to Mina, “and she shall accompany me over the course of the next ten days as serve as my own _personal_ maid,” he finished, a triumphant grin on his face. “And so-”

But now he was interrupted again, but by the hooded mercenary standing next to him, who leaned in to whisper something to his paying master.

“Ahem. I also wish to add the terms by my proxy here is the company of the Lady Erin, also for the next ten days.”

There was a moment of silence, and Mina blinked. That mercenary was interested in her Lady Erin? No, no, this couldn’t be happening. Mina glared under the hood, faintly making out eyes that seemed to be eyeing her Lady the entire time. Mina gritted her teeth- she wasn’t going to let any disgusting mercenary touch her Lady-

The silence was broken with an expected outburst from her Lady.

“NO WAY IN _HELL_ -”

“Honorable Judge, may we now present our terms,” said Captain Levi coolly, cutting off her words.

“Yes, Blue party, you may now present your proposition.”

The blue ribbon tied around Captain Levi’s waist fluttered as he stepped forward.

“You-” he said, pointing at the nobleman, “Strip naked and march around Trost. He does, too,” added Captain Levi, pointing at the mercenary, “Of course, both accompanied by a marching band, which the Blue Party will supply.”

Squad Leader Hange went into fits of laughter, slapping their hands on their thighs, and bending over to catch their breath. The noble looked outraged, face a deep shade of beet.

“I deem both terms acceptable and with the power bestowed upon me, allow this duel fair to commence,” reported The Honorable Judge, at which Mina blinked.

_Wait, what? It couldn’t be starting, just like that! What about the discussion? The terms were clearly unfair, her Lady couldn’t be dragged in as a prize-_

But no one paid any need to Mina’s raging inner thoughts. Everyone backed a few steps away clear of the white lines which marked the boundaries of the square arena. Captain Levi stepped forward, walking to the center, while the still-hooded mercenary did the same.

 

“Representing the Red party, Mercenary X,” reported the Judge. Mina rolled her eyes. _Really?_

“Representing the Blue party, Captain Levi.” Squad leader Hange whooped.

“Warriors, your terms have been chosen. As you are aware, this duel is first blood. Any unfair play will be spotted, stopped immediately, and declared an instant loss – and also render you unable to participate in any further duels. Am I understood?”

Both parties nodded.

“Well then, may the grace of Shinganshina be with you. I declare this duel to – start!”

 

***      ***      ***

 

The clear ringing of steel could be heard as the mercenary drew his blade from its sheath. My fists were clenched on my sides, and I could barely notice my nails digging into the soft flesh of my palms. I felt a slight breeze lift my hair, but no-one moved.

Then the mercenary slowly stepped to the side. Captain Levi watched. When the mercenary made his second step to the side, Captain Levi did the same, and now both traced circles in the middle, circling each other. The Captain’s arms hung loosely on his sides, but made no move to draw his blades.

The mercenary was the first to move, lunging straight ahead at the Captain. I held my breath, but he sidestepped, turning his body away from the sharp edge of the blade. Undaunted, the mercenary made to strike again, aiming at his neck. I could feel my fingers starting to hurt from squeezing them – but Captain Levi dodged again, stepping backwards from the range of the swipe. Another strike – another dodge. Strike- dodged. Strike-

I blinked. This pattern had continued for atleast five minutes now.

Was the Captain dodging _all_ the strikes? No, it wasn’t possible-

But it was. In fact, he had one hand in one of his pockets! I felt my fingers loosen and my arms relax, and it dawned on me that the Captain was _far_ more skilled than I had realized, because with each attempted lunge at the Captain, the mercenary let out grunts of effort, while the Captain’s sharp eyes tracked every movement-

“Gooooo Levi!” came a loud cheer from Squad Leader Hange. “Lady Erin is cheering for you too! Come on, Erin, let’s hear some noise,” encouraged Hange with a prod on my side.

“O-Oh. Um-Beat him down, Captain!” I said, trying to imitate Squad Leader’s enthusiasm with a fist pump in the air.

At my pathetic cheer, Hange rolled their eyes telling me to “Put some spirit into it, kid!”

I slightly improved my efforts, while wondering if this was completely necessary, as the Captain was doing just fine. But at one of Hange’s particularly loud cheers, the mercenary backed off. Captain Levi stood, watching him with careful eyes.

The mercenary’s other arm disappeared under his cloak, retrieving another similar blade. Then he closed the distance between them in the blink of an eye. I barely saw the two blades cross each other, and the Captain was a blur of white.

There was silence now as a small piece of the Captain’s blue ribbon fluttered onto the ground. I let out the breath I was holding- the blue ribbon tied on his waist was quite long, and only a small piece towards the end had got cut off. But I noticed the Captain now solidifying his stance, as the mercenary lunged again-

“Oof,” I heard a strangled gasp, as the Captain kicked the mercenary in the stomach. My attention shifted to the Captain eyes, where he held the same, stone cold expression.

The mercenary took two steps back, recovering his breath, before sweeping in again from the side.

_Clang!_

I blinked as the clear sound of steel against steel resonated through the air. Captain Levi had grabbed one of the mercenary’s hands, and made the mercenary's own blades clash against each other.

Captain Levi stepped back once, then raised his foot, delivering the final kick to the side of the mercenary’s head.

I’m sure I heard a large _crack!_ as the mercenary landed face-first on the stone slab, his body thrown a distance from Captain Levi.

The mercenary struggled to his feet now, a stream of blood dripping from his nose.

“And...first blood! This duel is now closed. Winner – Captain Levi, Blue party!” declared Judge Pixis.

Squad Leader Hange whooped loudly, jumping up and down.

Captain Levi had _won_ , and without even drawing his own blade once.

 

***      ***      ***

 

“My Lady! Wasn’t that simply incredible?” squealed Mina. Lady Erin barely nodded, but Mina could see the sparks behind her Lady’s eyes, and knew she was equally, if not more impressed.

“And he never drew his blade! I’ve never seen that – Even with Master Mikasa, he’s always drawn his blade,” observed Mina.

Lady Erin nodded. The incredible duel she had seen, the movements of Captain Levi, all of it was just slowly sinking in. It had been – _incredible_.  

“Now, now, you mustn’t forget the terms we had laid before,” came Commander Smith’s deep voice. Mina looked around, and saw him addressing the Lord at what appeared to be a pathetic attempt at sneaking out of the grounds unnoticed.

“Y-You- I won’t forget this!” he squeaked, scurrying out of the arena and towards the main gate. The mercenary followed, sending one last glance their way. Mina frowned, still slightly uneasy at the interest that mercenary had shown in her Lady. But it was over – they had won, and celebrations were in order.

“Whoo- another sweet win, Levi!” cheered Squad Leader Hange, throwing their arm around the Captain’s shoulder. “This calls for a party!”

Mina smiled.

“There shall certainly be a good dinner in celebration tonight.”

 

***      ***      ***

 

The sunlight streamed in through my open window, hitting my eyes. I cracked open an eye, and instantly closed it against the intensity of the light. As I turned away to avoid the sunlight and pull my blankets up higher, I heard the door open and familiar footsteps make their way towards me. Moments later, my blanket was pulled away.

“Five more minutes,” I muttered sleepily, waving my arm around in an attempt to retrieve my blanket.

“My Lady, please use the bed, the window seat is not a proper bed. And please wake up already, today is market day, and we must be there early.”

I moaned in complaint, at which the curtains were opened fully. A cool breeze came in, at which I shivered slightly.

“Captain Levi has already had breakfast and left with his company early in the morning for official business.” This caught my attention and I fully snapped awake, bolting upright.

“What?”

“Well my Lady, not everyone can afford the leisure to sleep-in. Commander Smith had important business to attend to, and Squad Leader Hange and Mike, as well as Captain Levi all left with their units to accompany him. However, Commander Pixis is staying here today to conclude his talks with Lady Carla.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling disappointed. Yesterday’s dinner had been rather enjoyable. It hadn’t been a formal dinner, as Mother had appointed the butlers and maids to walk around and make sure the various guests were served in a buffet style in celebration of winning the duel. I had walked to the particular dishes I had been fond of, and filled my plate, while walking around and filling my belly (I had eaten _way_ too much).

I had spoken to Squad Leader Hange who had told more fantastic stories about their adventures, and they had gotten excited about new discoveries and pulled me into long bouts of animated discussions and theories. Commander Smith had been quite imposing, but we had talked and gotten along just fine.

But the best part had been the quiet hours spent with Captain Levi towards the end of dinner, where I had asked endless more questions; because when the Captain recounted exactly the same stories as Squad Leader Hange, it had been somehow different.

He had told the story from his perspective, and I had listened, mesmerized by the number of times he had been a hair-thin line from death; listening about the heart-wrenching deaths of his team members, friends, and companions; and that it still affected him, but it had made him strong and now made him stronger; that he still recalled their names and behaviours and personalities with perfect clarity and would never forget.

It was very different than Squad Leader Hange’s recounts, filled with scientific facts and observations; Captain Levi’s stories instead were filled with joy, wonder, fear, pain, sorrow; and I had cried, because I felt the pain felt by the Captain even though it never showed on his face.

I hadn’t meant to, and I had apologized, but Captain Levi had said it was nothing to apologize about, that they were gone but never _really_ gone, and why was I crying for them when I should be smiling? Smiling that they had been _free_ and lived free, happy lives.

So I had smiled, and the Captain had _smiled_ back. It had been faint, but noticeable enough now that I had spent enough time around him to know that that stark, seemingly expressionless face actually held a sea of emotions-

“My Lady, sitting there all day smiling with your full teeth on display isn’t going to make the market stay.”

Now loudly protesting, I hurried to have breakfast and have myself prepared for the day out.

 

Once again squeezed in skirts, corset, and significantly less time spent on the dress and make-up (which I was frankly relieved about); the carriage pulled out of the manor and into the heart of the city. Mina had opened the windows, and I rested my arm on the carriage window sill, feeling the cool breeze touch my hair. I reached behind my head to satisfy the urge to scratch my scalp when protests of “It is only the ornamental pin, my Lady, you will get used to it,” left me with an even greater urge to take the thing out of my hair and have it thrown to the ground.

_Not even allowed to scratch my own head._

The conversation with Captain Levi last night rushed into my thoughts with crystal clear clarity.

“Why do you risk so much, Captain? Why bother leaving behind your family and friends, risking the lives of more friends and companions to go out and explore in the wild?”

He had looked at me for a moment.

“True freedom,” he had muttered, looking away to the horizon from where we stood on the second floor balcony. The stars had come out, and the half-moon shone clearly in the sky. “That’s what out there. True freedom.”

 

“…ady! …My Lady! We are here!”

“Wha- Oh,” I muttered, hastily getting up to step out of the carriage. Bending down, I navigated down the steps the footman had laid out. I stretched, looking around at the hustle and bustle around the place. Mina had gone up to the coachman to give him instructions to return at the end of the day to pick us up.

“Where are we?” I asked Mina when she returned to join me with a large basket in hand.

“Just on the outskirts of the center of Trost, my Lady. It is a different location that the ones we have been to before, I thought you might like to explore a different part of the town today.”

I smiled as I practically skipped down the street, pressing my nose up against the many displays and shops. I lingered particularly long near a shop which had kittens in a basket up for sale. I had pleaded, simply _pleaded_ Mina to let me buy them, to which she had coldly refused. I had to satisfy myself with petting them with the silent promise that I would give them a good home – eventually.

Mina had refused to let me enter the shop, knowing I would want to buy every single animal available.

Pouting, I continued sulkily until a pair of dogs gamboled up to me, pulling their owner by the leash. Laughing, I gave them the attention they deserved, while their owner apologized profusely at the apparent sudden lack of self-control of the usually well-behaved dogs. We now continued on our way- we had almost reached the central market.

“Animals really like you, don’t they, my Lady.”

“Hmm? I suppose. I like them too,” I said, smiling.

“And Captain Levi?”

“Whoa!” I yelled, tripping on a loose stone.

“My Lady!” screamed Mina, hastily coming to my side. “Are you alright?”

“I-I’m fine,” I said, feeling hot all of a sudden. “I-I just tripped, I’m all right.”

“I can see that,” said Mina, raising her eyebrows. She helped me up, then dusted me off and straightened my skirts. “It is obvious, my Lady, you needn’t get so heated up every time his very name is mentioned.”

I muttered under my breath. _Had I been THAT obvious? How did Mina know? Who else knew? Oh goodness, did Mikasa know too?_

Beside me, I heard Mina sigh. “You can be read like an open book sometimes, my Lady. Do not worry, Master Mikasa has been away for training for a while now, and he does not know.”

I breathed out in relief.

“Ah! Look! The market!” I yelled in a pathetic attempt to divert the conversation any other way other than where it was going right now. “I want to eat oranges! Let’s buy some fresh pastries too!” I skipped ahead, feeling Mina’s eyes boring into my head. I knew she wouldn’t leave this alone- I was in for some serious questioning later.

“Oh look! These are some new knives on sale! Want to buy some new ones for Thomas?” I asked Mina, and saw her flush. _Ha!_ I smiled at my attempts to successfully distract her from the dangerous topic earlier.

 

Lunch was a happy affair, where Mina had chosen a well-established inn to serve a good meal of soup, bread and meat. The fare wasn’t as varied as the one in the Yeager household, but I had never been picky, and I enjoyed it just the same because I was hungry and the food was filling.

After lunch, Mina dragged me along to buy some of many household items- she passed me an entire _scroll_ of items we needed to get-

“Why is this shopping list so _long_?” I complained.

“My Lady, _you_ are the one who insisted on coming along for shopping-”

“Ugh, I know, I know.”

Many shops later, we had almost covered all the items we needed for the daily operation of the Yeager mansion. Goodness, I hadn’t realized just how quite big the mansion must be to require so many broken items to be replaced, new ones bought, many others repaired.

Mina knew some of the shopkeepers quite well, and they seemed to like her; here, the deals were quick, purchases speedy and efficient, with guaranteed delivery of the items within 3 days to the mansion, with a small deposit now and rest paid later upon delivery.

With some other shopkeepers, Mina’s luck didn’t hold; they argued, fought, haggled over small items. Here, for some reason, Mina would push me to the shopkeeper, harshly whispering, “Just _smile_ , my Lady,” where I would do as she instructed.

Sometimes she would instruct me to lean over the shop counter, smiling while looking up and saying “But you would give _me_ a nice deal, wouldn’t you, sir?” at which the shopkeeper would hastily step back, stammering “O-Of _course_ , _anything_ for _you_ , my Lady,” which left me baffled at why he wouldn’t say the same to Mina who had said the exact same thing moments before. Some people were just strange.

At one store, Mina instructed me to sit on the shop counter, while playing with my hair. I did as she instructed, since it was no apparent harm, but I was perplexed as to its purpose. The shopkeeper took one look at me, and started to breathe harshly, whereupon I had inquired to his well-being. Replying that he was quite alright (although it didn’t look like it to me), he proceeded to inform me that everything I wanted to purchase within his store was half-off, to which I felt my jaw drop. Evidently thrilled, he also informed me that if I wanted anything delivered to the mansion, he would see to it _personally_ , if it meant he could have an audience with me again. I shrugged, nodding, making to move off the shop counter, when I caught a clear grin etched across Mina’s face.

“A job well done, my Lady,” said mina, her smile growing wider.

“I don’t understand these people,” I muttered. “Why did that last shopkeeper so easily agree to sell for so cheap? He had _insisted_ , just moments before, that he wouldn't bargain. So strange.”

“Give it no further thought my Lady; moreover, we still have one more shop to visit.”

The last shop turned out to be filled with fabrics, ceiling to floor. Mina enthusiastically conferred with the seamstress, where I just made myself comfortable on an available chair, looking at the yards of fabric surrounding me. Mina returned after a while, having finished her business.

“All done?”

“Yes, my Lady, the fabrics for your new dresses will be delivered to the house. I have paid the appropriate deposit. Hannah, the new seamstress, will be visiting in a few days to take some measurements, since you seem to be growing fast.”

I looked at my ankles. She was right, my skirts now reached well above my ankles, and _this_ dress had been made for me only a few months before. I was already much taller than Mina, and it didn’t seem I was about to stop growing. Unfortunately, it meant that Captain Levi would have to tilt his head up more to look up at me-

I shook my head quickly, trying to navigate my head out of dangerous waters. I caught Mina’s eyes, who smiled and seemed to know exactly what I had been thinking.

“Don’t worry about it, my Lady,” she said, walking out of the shop.

 

The sun was setting, and cast our long shadows upon the ground. We hurried, since we now had to walk to the inn that Mina had instructed the coachman to wait in order to pick us up. Some of the shopkeepers were closing doors, and lighting lanterns on doorsteps since darkness was closing in quickly.

Mina spotted the right street, and quickened her steps, calling out “I’ll have the carriage ready to leave in a moment, my Lady”, and pulled ahead of me. I followed her and turned into the street, spotting the inn further in, the sign lit by a lantern. I spotted the carriage and walked up to it. But no one was there.

“Mina?” I called. Receiving no response, I looked around. The coachman was nowhere to be seen, which was strange, since usually he was with the carriage at all times.

“Maybe she is inside,” I muttered, leaning against the side of the carriage, opting to wait until she returned with the coachman. Maybe he had gone inside for a drink or two while waiting for us.

A few minutes passed, then half an hour, and I became increasingly tense. It wasn’t safe to travel the roads, even within the city, so late. I walked around the carriage, and made my way to the front door of the inn, deciding to investigate myself. Just when I reached the first step, something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye.

“Is that a- basket?” I wondered, noticing the shape of an object lying on the ground, just within the boundary of the light cast by the lantern. The object looked familiar- I looked again at the door, then back again at the spot. Curiosity getting the better of me, I took to the right, approaching the basket– noticing some oranges spilled around it. I felt a sinking sensation in my stomach.

"Mina! I cried, rushing to the basket. But she wasn't there- but the basket was unmistakably hers. The oranges we had bought in the morning were spilled, along with other fruits and goods. I picked up the basket, looking around for signs of what had happened. I now noticed the dark alley between the inn and the building next to it. I stepped closer, looking around cautiously, when a dark lump inside the alley caught my attention.

Dropping the basket, I quickly made my way to it. "Mina! Mina? Is that you? Are you alright? Mina!" I could now make out the figure slightly better, and realized it wasn't Mina. But it was someone I recognized.

“Coachman!” I cried, running up to the figure lying in the dirt in the alley. 

“Hey! Are you alright? Can you hear me? What happened? Where is Mina? What’s going on?”

“…ady…the...cery...” I heard him say, but his voice was faint.

“Hang on, I’m going to get you some help,” I said, rising to my feet. A million thoughts were going through my head; maybe he was mugged, it wouldn't be uncommon in these parts since he had fine clothes; I would just go inside the inn and get help-

“Not so fast,” came a voice, and dark figures emerged from the sides, cutting off my path to the street.

“Here’s a fine lady,” another voice said, and a hand reached out to grab my wrist.

“Let go of me!” I ripped my hand out of the man’s grip.

I quickly retreated a few steps, and felt myself bump into someone behind me. I quickly turned to see who it was.

“Up close, you’re a finer Lady than I thought.”

_That voice. But it couldn’t be! But that hood and that sword-_

“Finally, now I can punish this maid, as she deserves,” said another chillingly familiar voice. A plump, lone figure stepped into the meager light. He held a slouched figure in his arms; and with rising panic and fury, I realized who it was-

“HOW DARE YOU! GIVE MINA BACK RIGHT NOW YOU FILTHY PIG-”

I felt a blow land on my stomach, and I instantly bent over, wheezing.

“My master must not be insulted,” the mercenary said, his hood falling back to reveal his scarred face.

“Now, now, let’s not be so harsh with the Lady. Once I’m through with this maid, you can have all the fun you want with your Lady too, you know. She’s rather feisty, so I don’t see what you see in her- I rather like the _quiet_ , _obedient_ ones, like this maid – Mina, was it? She went to sleep quietly.”

The disgusting pig was still holding Mina, and Mina had her eyes closed. I desperately hoped she was okay, but I couldn’t do anything while I was unarmed. Think Erin, _Think!_

The disgusting _pig_ had Mina hostage, the coachman was knocked out cold on the ground, and I was trapped between the three men blocking my escape route to the street and the mercenary cutting off my route on the other side. I clenched my fists, holding in a breath when the mercenary stepped in closer.

“Thought I was done when I lost that stupid duel? Oh, that was most humiliating, and now my reputation as a mercenary has a stain. Maybe you can help with that, hmm?” I could smell his foul breath.

I waited patiently until he stepped even closer.

Then-

“Sure, I’ll help stain it further,” I said, whipping my hand up behind my head and pulling out the large ornamental hairpin in one smooth motion. I closed the remaining gap between us in a flash, driving the sharp end of the pin deep into the flesh behind his collarbone.

“Arrrrggghhhhh!!!”

I shoved him aside into the wall, running towards Mina, when I felt a blow on my back. I pitched forward, landing on my front with a grunt. Strong arms pinned mine behind me, and even as I struggled, I couldn’t move. My arms were wrenched and twisted painfully, while I could feel other pairs of arms holding me down.

“I’m afraid it won’t be so easy, dear Lady.”

I felt arms lift me up forcefully and slam me into the wall. I gasped, trying to breathe; the corners of my vision starting to fade.

“You’re in for a wonderful night.”

 

***      ***      ***

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Lord Walgelijk = Lord Disgusting (Dutch); many apologies if wrongly translated, I just used google translate ;_;  
> Ahhhh!! Here it is!! I hope I did it some justice and captured Levi's awesomeness (he is just TOO cool for these meager words...a couple of pages simply wouldn't hold his total greatness)  
> I hope you enjoyed!  
> In the meantime, what will be Mina's and Erin's fate? (gasp!)


	7. The Farewell

It was an unfamiliar ceiling.  I watched a large spider make its leisurely way across its web between two wooden rafters. Everything was bathed in a dull, yellow light.

A sudden pain blossomed in my head, and I squinted automatically, bringing up my palm to press it against my forehead.

“Ah, she’s awake! Call him.”

I frowned at the familiar voice, unable to place it to a face immediately. The sound of hurried footsteps grew faint, and I heard a door being closed. A shadow moved into my field of vision.

“Erin, how do you feel? Can you move?”

I blinked, which brought a face framed with a pair of glasses into clear focus.

“Squad Leader Hange? Where am I?”

I raised my head, flinching at the stinging pain it brought to my head. I lifted my back off what seemed to be a hard bed, finally sitting up. I looked around blearily, and recognized myself to be in a small room, which consisted of a small bed, a chest of drawers, a cracked mirror, and a chair, currently occupied by Squad Leader Hange.

“Wha-What’s going on?” My own words caused the stinging pain to resurface, and this time, I brought up both palms to my forehead, wishing for the pain to subside. My head throbbed painfully, and I scrunched up my face, massaging my forehead with my palms.

“What’s wrong? Does your head hurt?”

I looked up at the concern in the voice, lowering my hands, when the dark marks on my fingers caught my attention. I turned my hands over, my throat going dry.

“Sq..Squad Leader…What happened? Can you….can you tell me…everything?”

I looked up at them, a pleading look in my eyes. The door slammed open, causing a sudden gust.

“Erin!”

I barely had time to register the voice before quick footsteps made their way to me and I was wrapped in a tight, firm hug.

“Mi-Mikasa?”

“Erin, are you all right? Are you hurt? Did they do anything to you? I swear I will _kill_ each and every single one of them-”

“Mikasa, it hurts!” I complained, suffocating under the force of his strong hug.

“This is a room on the second floor of the inn. You’re safe here,” explained Hange. Mikasa released his bear-like grip, and turned to glare at them.

“Do you remember anything?” they asked me.

I shook my head, still only feeling the constant, throbbing pain inside my head. “I-I remember being surrounded…then…Mina! Where’s Mina? She was..she was-!” I flinched, feeling the pain intensify at my outburst.

“She’s safe. She’s in the room next to this one. Mike is guarding her.”

I relaxed slightly at the news.

“Erin needs to rest. She’s coming with me, she’s not safe here.”

“Mikasa, it’s still dark outside. She’s perfectly safe here with us, you can take her home when the sun rises.”

“Mother’s instructions were to bring her home immediately.”

“Lady Carla won’t mind all of you arriving in the morning. She knows you’re all in good hands.”

I could see Mikasa’s focused glare, trying to think of an argument. Then-

“Fine. But I stay here.”

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

He leaned against the wall all too casually. His folded arms concealed a tapping finger on the left, while his other arm slid down towards his blades, gripping and releasing the sword handle alternatively. The idiots had left the door wide open. He couldn’t make himself go inside, so he had made to stand outside, where he could hear their voices trickling from the room into the corridor, which was deserted at this hour.

“You’re back from training?”

His breath caught in his throat at the voice. He tried to relax, letting the voice wash over him.

“I arrived just after you and Mina had left for the market. Anyway, how are you feeling? You keep rubbing your temples, Erin.”

“My head does hurt...”

He clenched his fists, feeling a boiling rage growing inside his chest. _How dare they-_

Feeling powerless to do anything, he listened to the shuffling noises inside the room. Hange’s medical expertise would take care of Erin. He tried to breathe through his nose, letting his head fall back to touch the wall.

He slowly closed his eyes, clearly recalling the events earlier that night.

 

Tired from the day’s nonsense, Levi sat at the round wooden table, trying not to let his clean sleeves touch the dirty thing. He sent a glare at the table for good measure. The bustling roar from the inn’s patrons at the diner on the main floor surrounded him, nearly deafening him in the process. He sipped at his tea, wondering if the cup had been washed properly – and promptly concluded that it probably had not. He was surrounded by Hange, Mike, and Erwin, seemingly making light, meaningless conversation. 

His careful eyes flicked around, looking around at the movements of the various patrons, most having dinner, some clearly drunk. He noticed Erwin, Mike, and Hange do the same frequently. They were under instructions from Erwin to look out for a spy from Kingdom Maria, who had been rumored to be trying to sabotage the next peace conference. It was grunt work – but the plea had come directly from Commander Pixis, and Erwin had agreed to catch the spy as a favour to put Pixis under his debt.

Levi sighed irritably; he hated wasting his time for these perfectly dull games that Erwin liked to play – no doubt cooking up some grand scheme inside his head. He caught Erwin’s eyes over the table, and could swear he could see the twinkle in those eyes.

‘Disguised as a military police soldier’ wasn’t much to go on, but the tip-off had been that the spy would be at this inn tonight.

_Shitty Erwin Smith._

 “Ah!” exclaimed Hange, causing the group to look up at them.

“See something?” asked Erwin quietly.

They nodded excitedly. “Saw a fellow- military police jacket. Just got up to leave from that dark corner,” they pointed.

Levi narrowed his eyes, scanning quickly in the area they had pointed to.

“Alright- Hange, Levi, go. Mike and I will stay here and keep an eye on everyone else in case this one is a false lead.”

Nodding quickly, Hange got up, smoothly covering their blades with their dark green cape. Levi got up and did the same, silently following Hange. He dodged three drunk men, delivering a sharp kick to the groin of the third, because the man had tried to grab his behind. He stepped around another man, passed out on the floor; and sidestepped a piece of chicken that had come flying towards him from elsewhere. He caught up to Hange in time to see their target slip out the main inn doors.

They followed, in time to see him disappear into a nearby alley. Hange looked at Levi, and they both nodded once, drawing out their blades simultaneously and silently. They would catch him now, before the spy had a chance to make any moves.

Now running, they made a sharp turn into the alley, making to follow their target; then stopped short in their tracks.

“Shit! He had friends,” cursed Hange.

They had followed a single figure into the alley – now three silhouettes were visible in the meager light available.

“We’ll just have to take care of all of them then.”

“Levi! Remember to capture, not kill,” hissed Hange.

“They haven’t noticed us yet,” observed Levi, sliding to move against the wall, now hidden by the deep shadows. Hange did the same, and they slipped closer to the group, with eyes on the figure with the military police jacket.

“-and this is clearly not what we had agreed to!” he was saying. Levi stopped, frowning. Were they witnessing a fallout between the spy and his friends? In which case, all the better. Levi would have less interference when he captured him.

“Get out of my sight, trash! I didn’t hear anything about this madwoman!” a plump figure screamed.

Levi’s eyes widened in recognition of the voice. _It couldn’t be-_

“But Sir, Lord, the point of this operation is so we could take the lady and hold her hostage - promising that she will be _safe_ unless Lady Carla abstains from attending the peace conference. Taking the maid wasn't part of the agreement! And clearly the lady has been injured - none of this is as we agreed!"

Levi had stopped breathing. _What? What exactly was going on here?_ He moved closer to get a better look – it was irritably dark-

"Be quiet! This maid needs to pay for what she did! I'll do as I please. You, mercenary! Teach him a lesson, since he thinks he can order me around. Filthy Maria spy."

Levi heard the unmistakable sound of a bone breaking, followed by an ear-shattering scream. Levi’s blood ran cold.

“Well, you 'eard him. These Lady- is no Lady. She’s a witche, ’s wha she is. ’Nd I’m gunna ’ave fun wit ’er, now dat she did ’er damage to meeselfs.”

The cloud cover lifted at the same moment, letting the moonlight flood into the alley. Levi’s eyes adjusted, registering the scene in front of him.

The mercenary Levi had defeated in the duel the day before stood over their target. Their target – the spy- was kneeling, sobbing in obvious pain, with his arm at an awkward angle. So the mercenary had just broken the spy’s arm, then. The noble stood a few paces away- was that Lady Erin’s maid Mina in his arms? She wasn’t conscious, and was bent over, still.

Levi noticed with some curiosity that the mercenary’s face seemed to be swollen abnormally which made him talk with difficulty. His amusement quickly faded when he noticed dark stains everywhere. Even in the moonlight, Levi knew exactly what that meant. He had spent his entire childhood in dirty alleys like this one, where this hadn’t been an uncommon sight. He knew what this meant, and no longer holding back, Levi stepped forward.

He was noticed instantly by the noble and the mercenary.

“You! Where did you come from, you maggot!” screamed the noble, spittle flying from his mouth.

Levi walked closer, now able to see that three other men were lying in various positions around him. They were all unconscious, covered in filth with traces of blood running down their faces. Levi kept walking, finally coming to a stop in front of a familiar figure lying on the ground. Her hair was fanned out around her, no longer held up in the elegant hairdo’s he had seen. Dirt and filth covered her fine dress, now ripped; the side of her face caked in mud; her hands covered in dark stains. _Blood._

Levi fell to his knees. He didn’t notice his hand shaking when he brought it up carefully to her neck, checking for signs of a pulse. When he found one, he didn’t realize his hands shaking even more from great relief; he didn’t realize that he was now standing up, his hands slowly moving to his blades.

“Who did this?”

He didn’t hear Hange utter a strangled gasp, quickly moving in and falling on their knees too, to check on Lady Erin.

“I think she’s okay, nothing’s broken,” concluded Hange fairly quickly. Levi quickly nodded at the news, now squinting at the mercenary, who seemed to have a thick stream of blood flowing from his shoulder.

 _“I said, who did this,”_ Levi spat out, venom coating every syllable.

“She wouldn’t shtay shtill, these wench. Some lady she is, I say, she gots whats she deesherves fer shabbing me wit ’er ’air pin,” he said, revealing four broken teeth.

Levi took in a sharp breath.

“So _you_ did this to Lady Erin?”

“She wouldn’t shtay down, but she gots galls for taking on those three weaklings. When she turned on me, I didn’t ’old back on her now, did I. She did nuff damage to me already, and I gave ’er whats she deesherves. Now its me an’ you again, huh? I’ll- huh? Where’re you goin’.”

Levi ignored him, walking straight to the noble.

“Wa-wait! Don’t come any closer!” screamed the noble.

“You _pig_ ,” breathed Levi. “Let go of that maid. _Right now_.”

“You- you insolent-! How dare you order _me_ -”

Levi delivered a punch straight to his jaw, feeling the satisfying connection with a resounding crack. He howled in pain, letting go of Mina quickly to clutch at his own jaw. Levi caught her, then felt Hange at his side, taking her weight off his hands.

He now walked straight towards the mercenary, raising his blades with no hint of hesitation.

It was over fairly quickly – and Levi stood over the pleading mercenary’s body, raising his boot and bringing it down on his face. He felt his boot connect and break his nose; then continued his steady deliverance of kicks to his stomach. _You absolute trash, how dare you-_

He felt a strong arm restrain him.

“That’s enough Levi, you’ll kill him. You’ve done enough. We've caught the spy and accomplished our mission. I’ll take over from here.”

Erwin’s cool voice snapped him out of his murderous state.

“Erwin. I didn’t make it in time. She got hurt.”

“We couldn’t have known, Levi. If we knew that they would come back for revenge directly with Mina and Lady Erin, this wouldn’t have happened. Still, she managed to take out three of these goons; even though we don’t know how, and right now their lives are not in immediate danger. And now we know why Pixis wanted the spy caught - we somehow arrived in time to stop Lady Erin from being kidnapped and being held for ransom, and Lady Carla can now still attend the peace conference.”

“She still got hurt, Erwin.”

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

“Happy nineteenth birthday, Lady Erin!”

I blinked, trying to smile while muttering thank you’s here and there.

Yet another party. A pile of presents lay at my feet, while well-wishers lined up in front of me, yet to deliver their greetings.

 _I just want a break_ , I had muttered to Mina, who was standing behind me. She had returned my misgivings with yet another glare and another lecture about tradition and that I had no choice since these guests had travelled miles to come here-

I scoffed. Out of all of these people, how many _actually_ cared? They came to show face; to give flashy and extravagant presents in an effort to show off their wealth and come into my mother’s good graces and have their family names associated as friends of ours. Of course, their efforts never worked as my mother could care less – but they tried anyway.

The music continued in the background; colourful dresses and suits; much finery and laughter everywhere. I was surrounded by people, yet I felt lonely.

_Did anyone care?_

I felt faces go out of focus, mind wandering to the thoughts of a certain person – yet again.

Because- maybe, just _maybe_ , one person did care- I clearly recalled what had happened five weeks ago. 

 

“I can only say again that I’m sorry I didn’t arrive in time, Lady Erin.”

“That’s-! Its ok! I was told you arrived in time to save me and Mina.” 

“But I was too late. You were already hurt.” 

“No, its really alright. I really am in your debt.” I looked down at my hands clutching at the folds of my dress, trying to think of what to say. “I was – I am so weak. I couldn’t save Mina, or do anything.”

Captain Levi silently looked down, moving his hands to his pocket. After a moment, he retrieved something in his hand. “Here. I think this is yours.”

Confused, I released my dress, reaching my hands outward. He dropped a large, decorative silver hair pin in my hand. I stared at it for a moment, still confused.

“I found it. Embedded in that mercenary’s shoulder.”

I took in a sharp breath, understanding.

“I think someone who can do that level of damage certainly isn’t _weak_.”

I closed my fingers around the pin, drawing up both hands up to my chest.

“Six broken ribs; eight broken tooth; two broken bones; fifty seven cuts and bruises; and one major stab wound,” counted Levi, “inflicted between three unconscious men, and one conscious, but injured man, before losing consciousness yourself. That’s not too bad, if I say so myself.”

I allowed myself a small smile.

“And using the hair pin as a weapon was a good idea. You used whatever was available to defend yourself. You kept yourself and Mina alive until we arrived. You displayed bravery in the face of danger. All necessary qualities for any survey corps member to have.”

“Then you think-?” I gasped, unbelieving.

“I don’t give empty compliments. But don’t get ahead of yourself. You belong _here_ , away from danger.”

“There is danger everywhere, Captain,” I said bitterly. “Danger that was also _here_!”

“You know what I mean, Lady Erin.”

I bit my lip.

“I’m- I’m told- you’re leaving tonight.”

Silence followed my words. Then-

“Well, yes. Erwin finished his business here. We’re returning to headquarters.”

I inhaled sharply, a sinking feeling in my stomach. I had been hoping it wasn’t true, but hearing it from the Captain directly made it a harsh reality. This time had been too short. I still wanted to hear more stories, talk to the Captain more because every minute spent with him was so absolutely enjoyable-

“Stay safe, Lady Erin. Farewell.”

And with that, he turned around, walking away. I took a step forward, raising my hand and trying to reach-

_What was I trying to reach?_

My hand froze in the air. I watched him walk away, my hand still in the air.

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,  
> This is NOT the last chapter! :) If anything, the next REAL arc actually starts here, and there are PLENTY PLENTY more chapters to go!!!! //muahahaha//  
> Thank you SOOOOO much for reading my terrible efforts this far, you guys are absolutelyyyy amazing!! XD


	8. The Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin's journey begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,  
> I think today is a day to celebrate- as you may or may not have heard, the United States has now legalized same-sex marriage in all of its states! (About time, they are sooooooooooo behind!!!) After a long struggle, it has happened!  
> Sooooo here's a slightly early chapter in celebration for those now-very-happy couples in my neighbor country ;D

 

***      ***      ***

 

“Now that you mention it, the recruitment season for the military training corps is coming up soon.”

“Know of any promising ones in the bunch this year?”

“Nah, not really. But I guess we’ll just have to find out in the ranking tournaments next year.”

“But Lord Mikasa should be a top favorite…”

“Didn’t you hear? It’s been decided that he is to join the Military Police, honorary designation.”

“Tch. These rich bastards. They get their way to everything without even trying.”

“I wouldn’t say that of Lord Mikasa. They say he’s a devil in sheep’s disguise. There’s rumours about him…”

“Oh? Then I must keep an eye out for him. What about his sister?”

“She’s still in etiquette training. She’s a far ways off if she’s to come anywhere even close to Lady Carla’s level. She’s far from ready…”

I snorted, crossing my arms. _These people would talk about anything that moved._

“Such a load of crap…” I muttered.

I heard a shocked gasp with a disapproving “Watch your language, my Lady! What if someone hears…?”

“Let them hear, Mina. I could care less.”

“This is _exactly_ why you are _still_ in etiquette training, my Lady. It seems no amount of teaching, practice, and preparation will get the message across to your brain?”

“So I suppose then, mother being the perfect example, I should be _exactly_ like her? Well, I can’t be! I can’t be this perfect Lady people expect me to be! For once, why can’t I act and do as I please?” I was close to yelling at this point. Luckily, we were in a hallway with few people, and aside from a few curious glances, we didn’t attract any more attention than we were already receiving. The party thrown in the honor of my nineteenth birthday was drawing to a close, but the few remaining guests still lingered and made conversation.

“Sometimes…sometimes we have no choice, my Lady. If society expects us to behave a certain way, then we must. Just to survive. Just so we can get by normally, and lead normal lives.”

“Well, I couldn’t agree less.”

Mina opened her mouth to argue, but I cut her off.

“No, Mina, I know what you’re going to say. But I now know what true freedom should be like. This- all of _this_ -” I said, flinging my arm out to encompass everything around me, “I can’t _do_ anything here! It’s like living in a cage!”

Mina stared at me in shock. She cast her eyes downward, and I could see tears in the corners of her eyes.

“M-Mina…I-I’m sorry. But- this is how I really feel, okay? I’ve said this countless times, but at times like this, it’s like I’m putting on a mask. It’s frustrating not to be able to _be_ myself. To do and say what I want to say, without reservation. You understand?”

A moment of silence followed, then Mina nodded demurely.  
“I think I do understand, my Lady. Especially since your views on this seem to have gotten significantly stronger- right after meeting Captain Levi.”

I looked at Mina suspiciously, feeling slightly betrayed.

“Look, you’ve known how long I’ve complained about being around these pigs. So wanting to have a say in what I do and say has nothing to do with anyone else!”

 _But it does,_ I could almost hear Mina’s thoughts. But I would rather die than admit it out loud. In the end, this was something I had to do, myself. No one else would come and save me this time. 

_Especially Captain Levi._

 

***      ***      ***

 

His breath ghosted down my neck. I shivered, despite the fact that my body was warm.  _Hot._  Beads of sweat ran down my forehead, and I was breathing heavily. 

"You're so gorgeous," he murmured against my neck. Lightning shot through my body, jerking my arms upwards to grab the back of his head. 

"No, you are," I said, looking into his eyes. Those eyes that were constantly pulling me in. They pulled me in now, and I ran my fingers through the shorter hair at the base, and heat coursed through me, making me feel as if I was on fire. I pulled his body closer, feeling his body heat mingle with mine. 

He placed a hand on my cheek, gently stroking it. "I wish I could be with you like this. Forever."

My eyes widened.  _Then....he feels the same?_

"M-Me too," I said, the words coming out a bit airy. I didn't think I would sound so breathless. I held his gaze, feeling myself moving in closer. We were millimeters apart.

"But I can't."

_What?_

"I have to go."

With that, he abruptly removed his hand from my cheek, stepping away. My hands loosened from the shock, and he turned, walking away.

"W-Wait! You can't go! Don't- Don't go! Please don't go! W-Wait!"

 

_WAIT!_

 

My hands grasped empty air. I was breathing heavily. It was still dark outside, but faint moonlight shone in through my window. I was covered in sweat, my sheets clinging to me in my bed.

_Just a dream, then._

My breathing returning to normal, I pushed away the sheets, feeling slightly disgusted. 

_I can't do this. I can't keep doing this forever!_

I got out of bed, pouring myself a glass from the pitcher that Mina always kept filled with fresh spring water. I shuffled to the window seat, dragging a pillow with me. I leaned against the cold stone window sill, feeling calmness instantly wash over me. I looked up to the moon, holding my pillow tightly, feeling the last remnants of my dream pass through my thoughts, my mind already forgetting the details, but unable to forget the bitter feeling it had left. 

"Tomorrow night," I muttered quietly to myself.

I had made up my mind.

 

***      ***      ***

 

Mikasa watched his sister with interest. Clothed in black garb, he leaned forward slightly, trying to get a better look at the proceedings in the dark.

“Mikasa, I still don’t think this is a good idea,” Armin said quietly. They were currently concealed against the wall of the stables, trying to see what Erin was doing. A small patch of yellow light from a lantern spilled out from one of the stable doors, casting Erin’s shadow. Her shadow revealed that she appeared to be saddling the horse in the stall. It was also currently the middle of the night.

“You don’t have to come, Armin.”

“…I know. But I’ve decided. I have things I want to do and accomplish. Speaking to Commander Smith and Squad Leader Hange only confirmed those things for me.”

“But you don’t think this is a good idea.”

Armin sighed.

“Look. You two are my only friends. I care dearly about the both of you, ok? Mikasa- you’re strong, I know you’ll be able to handle yourself. But Erin- Erin’s always had a tendency to get into trouble- _big_ trouble. She almost got herself kidnapped that day, and she _still_ doesn’t realize the magnitude of that event. If Lady Carla isn't able to attend the peace conference, things would get _really_ bad around here. And now Erin wants to go jaunting off to who-knows-where, well, I can’t think of what could get worse!”

Mikasa turned his head to look at his friend. He considered Armin’s indignant face before replying.

“That’s why I’m going, too. Where Erin goes, I follow. Mother would probably be upset, at first. But I know she would understand. I can keep Erin safe,” Mikasa finished simply.

Armin stared at Mikasa, mouth slightly open. Then he buried his face in his palms.

“Arrghh, you siblings! You two drive me absolutely nuts!”

Mikasa turned away, concealing the slight smile on his lips. _Thank you, Armin._

 

***      ***      ***

 

Mina hugged the shawl around her body tighter. It was well into spring, but the nights could be still chilly. She stiffened at the sound of the hooves of a walking horse. She pressed herself closer to the barn wall, listening as the sound grew faint. She quickly made to follow the sound, pressing close to walls and following the light of the lantern.

“My Lady, you’re not doing the greatest job of being sneaky,” she giggled quietly. Then her smile faded, replaced by a sad smile. “But you’ve finally decided to leave this place. I can only watch from here, my Lady.”

She watched as her lady climbed onto the horse without much effort. Mina smiled.

“I guess those breeches you always wear are coming in handy now, my Lady,” she said to no one in particular.

She raised her hand in farewell to her Lady, unseen by anyone, as her Lady encouraged the horse and broke out into a trot. Mina jogged in the darkness, listening to the fading rhythm of the hooves, knowing she wouldn’t see her again in a long time.

“Take care, my dear Lady,” she said, not noticing the silent stream of tears pouring down her cheeks. “Goodness knows you’ll discover the freedom you were looking for…”

Feeling sad, Mina turned around to head back into the manor to her comfortable bed. She knew she would wake the next day to a house in complete chaos- the young Lady Yeager would be missing; theories about kidnapping would surface, Mina and the other maids would be questioned, and Mina would remain pretending to be confused and distraught, concerned over the ‘sudden’ disappearance of her Lady. Then finally, facts would arise- a horse had been missing from the stables the same night – it would be the Lady Erin’s favorite horse; along with a week’s worth of food from the kitchens. The rumours and theories would subside, replaced by a clear, inevitable fact – Lady Erin had run away from home.

It wasn’t quite unusual or unheard of- but Mina’s involvement would forever remain a secret – both from her lady and everyone else. The days of dropping clear hints to Lady Erin about the patterns of the guards around Lady Erin’s door, which Erin would eagerly file away for her escape from her own room (not suspecting that Mina had been dropping her hints on purpose). Mina batting her eyelashes at Thomas in the kitchen if he could _please_ keep some extra food in the kitchen for her, because her Lady was apparently throwing a secret midnight picnic with some friends and it only had to be about seven days worth of food (it would be _many_ friends)– and throwing in a kiss to his cheek in appreciation for his efforts. His face and ears bright red, he had prepared around ten days of food; packaging it away neatly for travel in a way Mina could have never done; because Mina had told him the picnic would be happening at a nearby lake and the food needed to be snuck out on horseback.

Thomas would be questioned too; but he would hold his tongue, his confusion unable to defeat his love for Mina, once he realized he had unwittingly had given a hand to his crush's plans. But it would end well; Mina would realize the lengths Thomas had gone to protect Mina’s involvement, and Thomas would admire Mina’s loyalty to her Lady. The two would grow closer as a result- this incident just starting their long nights filled with passion.

But Mina shook her head – something else was happening right now. She had just watched her Lady ride out into the distance, and she should have been alone.    

But she wasn’t.

Two other figures followed, leading their horses by the reins. A taller figure helped the shorter one climb on to their horse; Mina quickly snuffed out her light, sneaking in closer to the pair.

“All right, Armin?” she heard a whisper, and presumably, all was indeed right, because the sounds of the other climbing on could be heard. Mina couldn’t see anything in the dark; she assumed both must be clothed in dark garments.

“Which way did she go?”

Mina jumped. That voice belonged to Lord Mikasa! She almost laughed out loud in relief. Her lady wouldn’t be alone after all – Lord Mikasa would be there to protect her…unless Lord Mikasa and Armin were planning to bring her back? Mina frowned. _They couldn’t be…_

“She was headed west. There’s a river and a small village about two days ride from here. She must be planning to make a stop there.”

“Let’s go then. We’ll keep our distance – maybe a few hours. Can you do that, Armin?”

Mina heard a small giggle.

“Is that a question?” asked Armin’s confident voice.

Mina relaxed. So they were planning to accompany her Lady on her journey, then.

All was well.

 

***      ***      ***

 

Two hours of riding into the night, and Mikasa and Armin were making good pace. Dawn was starting to break in the horizon, and they could start to see their path better. They still hadn’t been noticed by Erin; so they rode on.

“I hope we weren’t seen,” mumbled Armin a while later, turning to look behind his shoulder.

“No one noticed, Armin. Just a very helpful little bird.”

Armin frowned at Mikasa, confused.

 

***      ***      ***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter introduces another character we've all been waiting for...?


	9. The 104th Training Corps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin is the best-est friend anyone could ask for.

“104th Trainees Squad! Atteeeeeen-shun!”

The sounds of two-hundred oddly timed boots clicked together.

_Completely out of sync._

Keith Shardis tsked, internally groaning – he really had his work cut out for him. He decided to put these new fresh-off-the-carriage trainees to the test – by proceeding to yell at them at the top of his lungs. He was impressed by few (those had potential, _real_ potential); and certainly not impressed by many others.

One happened to be a girl stuffing her face with a hot potato. _(Where the hell did she even get that?)_ Naturally, he set her to run at a full sprint till she dropped- he never understood these nobles and their strange habits. Never mind that now, this was a military camp, and he would whip them into shape if that’s the last thing he did.

Hours later, sun setting, but somewhat satisfied, he sent off the already-tired bunch to dinner.

_Hmph. He’d have to work on their endurance._

 

 ***      ***      ***

 

“You want to enlist in the survey corps? Do you have a death wish?”

“Huh? You got a problem with that? You’re planning to suck it up in the military police, if I remember correctly.”

 “Hey, I’m honest. There’s money and fame to be had. What’re you after, finding a new species of cow and naming it after yourself?”  
A few cadets listening in to the bickering sniggered.

“Much better than lying around and getting fat; not to mention licking the boots of everyone around you.”

“Hah! The survey corps is made up of freaks, anyway. There’s just going to be a new variety joining them now.”

I felt a vein throb at my forehead. Mother _had_ always said I was terrible at holding back my anger…

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

 “Hey fellas, stop it, will ya? You’ll be expelled if you fight on your first day here!” a voice tried to intervene.

I glared at the horseface trying to pick a fight with me. I didn’t like him. His face had strangely resembled that of a horse, and as much as I liked horses, I wanted to kick this one.

The bell signalling the end of dinner chose to sound at that very moment. A senior cadet walked into the mess and announced lights-out in thirty minutes to the new recruits. I sent a final glare at the horsefaced asshole, before a wave of people passed between us, blocking my vision. Deciding I had won for the moment, I turned to leave the hall and find my way to my bunk.

I had joined the 104th Training Corps. All manner of girls and boys, women and men, rich or poor, of varying status, had joined this year. Passing the harsh training meant a secure and guaranteed spot in the military – with a lifelong guaranteed salary, pension, and most importantly to many – status. Status because many came from poor or low backgrounds - to these people, it meant a respected place and enough money to feed their family. To those who already possessed noble status, it meant having the knowledge and power to participate in duels and winning a reputation; or making it into the top ten, which meant their family would be propelled among those to directly serve their king- and serve to boost their ego in the process.

After graduating, one could choose to join the Garrison, where one would be guarding the country’s borders, or be placed on guarding the capital and the walls of other major cities from invaders. In this time of peace, there wasn’t much need of Garrison soldiers, but many joined anyway, because the alternatives were not desirable for many.

At the end of the training, a ranking tournament would be held, and only the ones who ranked in the top ten would be allowed the honour to join the Military Police. The last option (for many) would be the Survey Corps – to risk their lives to seek out new territory, discover new lands, and go where no human had gone before. The casualty rate was reportedly high, and the identity of its various members seemingly dubious (and many were apparently lunatics). I highly doubted the validity of these claims; aside from Squad Leader Hange, the rest of them were pretty…normal. These thoughts brought to my center of attention the receding figure of a certain somebody, causing me to stop in my tracks and feel the heat rise up in my cheeks. As a result, I didn’t even notice walking into someone shorter than me.

“Ouch-Oh-I’m sorry about that,” I apologized, my body automatically bowing into a curtsey in way of apology. Then remembering that this was a military camp, not home, I stopped in mid curtsey, snapping myself back into a rigid position.

“Are you okay?” a familiar voice inquired; presumably they had assumed I had hurt myself and had bent over as a result.

“Ah, I’m fine-”, I began, my face stretching into a welcoming smile while my hands came together at the front; years of conditioning, lessons, and mannerisms  kicking in by default. My eyes snapped wide open when it placed the voice, and I retreated a few steps to take in the figure.

“Still talking like a lady, I see,” the familiar voice retorted.

“A-A-A-A-ARMIN!?? WH-WH-WH-WHAT ARE YOU-?”

“Shhhhh!” he hissed rather violently, slapping a hand over my mouth to stop me from screaming further. “Don’t draw more attention to us!”

Realizing that I had drawn a few looks at my outburst, I struggled to regain my composure. Quickly looking around, I pulled Armin by the arm, leading him to the clearing behind the mess hall.

I looked around once more to make sure we were alone. Then I turned around to face my friend. “Armin, what exactly are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you that. The manor is probably in an uproar by now.”

I groaned, putting a palm to my forehead.

“Ugh, Mikasa put you up to this, didn’t he.”

“No, actually-”

“No, wait- I know. It was mother. She wants me back, I know. But I can’t, ok? I came here with a purpose. I have something I need to do. I can’t go back, Armin! You have to understand! I know you came to convince me to return, but I-”

_Slap!_

It stung. It actually stung. That bastard Armin, he put more power into it than I knew he was capable of.

“ _God_ , Erin, you’re so goddamn _selfish_ at times! Do you realize how much trouble you’ve caused me? I had to go chasing you in the middle of the night, and following your horse in darkness wasn’t the easiest task. Then you had your brilliant plan to ditch your horse after a few days’ journey – it was absolute _hell_ trying to find your tracks from there. You didn’t even realize a pair of bandits had targeted you when you reached the mountains, and if it wasn’t for-”

“Y-You- were following me the whole time?” I managed to stutter, dumbfounded by this revelation.

Armin sighed. “You’re an absolute idiot. Who leaves _clear_ signs of their campsite in plain sight? The least you could have done was to scatter the ashes. You’re lucky it rained, or else something bad might really have happened!” He threw up his hands in exasperation.

“A-Armin…I- I had no idea…”

“Of _course_ you had no idea. You have no idea what you’re doing right now, either.”

I snapped my head up at that.

“No, Armin. I know what I’m doing.”

Armin considered my serious face before sighing. “You’re sure about this?” He leaned against a nearby tree, gently tilting his head back to rest against it the tree trunk and closing his eyes.

“I’m sure,” I replied confidently.

Armin folded his arms across his chest.

“I already knew that.”

_Huh?_

“I knew that, so I followed you, on my own accord. Mikasa didn’t send me. Neither did your mother. I came on my own.”

_What? Armin did-?_

“Let’s face it, if I didn’t, you would have been long dead by now. Those bandits were really nasty.”

I felt a smile spreading across my face, despite myself. Armin had followed me! Not to take me back, but because he genuinely cared! I felt a deep emotion rise within me, threatening to overflow from my eyes as tears. But how did he take care of the bandits? I didn’t recall Armin being particularly adept at fighting, and I remembered Armin’s natural aversion to violence…

“…You cut your hair, Erin?”

“Ah? This?” I ran my hand lightly through my very short brunette hair, no longer falling over my shoulders in waves. I grinned.

“And men’s clothes? Erin, are you sure…?”

My grin widened.

“Call me Eren.”

 

***      ***      ***

 

“I can’t believe we’re bunk mates, Armin!”

“I can’t believe this either…” Armin muttered, adding something else under his breath- I swear I heard Mikasa’s name.

“Hm? What did you say Armin?” I inquired, curious.

“Oh, nothing, nothing. So, who else is sharing our bunk Eren?”

Two rather tall fellows turned out to be our bunkmates, Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover. I was almost expecting them to be like the pompous ass I had met earlier, but they turned out to be okay. We all gossiped like ladies well-past lights out, and at last, tired and worn-out, I fell asleep.

 

***      ***      ***

 

_CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-!!_

“…Mina- tell them to stop that godawful noise…” I mumbled.

_CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-_

“Ugh- Tell them to STOP-”

_CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-_

“Ughhh…Tell them to shut up!” I yelled, sitting upright. I blinked.

Two unfamiliar faces looked back at me. I was sitting on a hard wooden bed, the meager layers of stuffing too pathetic to be called bedding material, likely made from left-over bits of stuffing. Slowly, the faces registered in my brain- they were my new bunkmates. The loud morning bell that had signaled the wake-up call had ended. Armin was already dressed on the other side, putting on his boots.

“Oh.” Realizing where I was, I stretched my hands upwards, releasing a small yawn.

It sent those two into hysterics.

“Bwa-hahahahaha!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!”

“What?” I asked, bewildered.

“Y-you yawn like a lady!” Reiner blurted out between snorts. Offended, I crossed my arms.

“Do not!”

“Do too! And what was that you were saying in your sleep? Mina, I _command_ you tell them to stop-”

I threw a pillow at his face, but he put up a hand to block it easily.

“Hahahaha! So, who’s Mina, your _sweetheart_?” he mocked, making a pout with his lips.

I snorted. “Hah! As if!”

“R-Reiner! Don’t bother him about his personal life!” Bertholdt intervened. I silently thanked this abnormally tall angel. His figure was massive, but he was actually a very nice and shy guy despite his size. I wondered what his parents fed him for him to get so tall.

Armin called out to me, and I rushed to get dressed. Trudging out for breakfast, I grabbed my food, turning to go to the table where Armin was waiting. In the process, I nudged the shoulder of – _oh my god_ , it was the asshole again.

“You,” I spat out almost spitefully. He narrowed his eyes.

“Oh, its _you_ ,” he said, dragging out the ‘you’ longer than necessary. “I thought I smelled something bad.”

I glared at him, slightly glad my hands were holding on to my breakfast tray. Slightly. _God,_ I wanted to punch his face _so_ _badly_ -

Swiftly walking away, I slammed down my tray on the wooden table with more force than necessary. Armin raised his eyebrows at me questioningly, but didn’t say anything. I proceeded to shovel the meager contents down my throat, eyes watering at the bland taste and watery consistency. I was starting to miss my rich meals and varied breakfasts; freshly baked bread with butter, freshly plucked fruits and juicy meat cooked over hot coals-

“Eren? You’re drooling,” Armin warned.

“Huh? Oh.” I quickly rubbed my chin, avoiding curious glances from our bunkmates, who were seated at the same table.

“Hey! Is this seat taken!?” an excited voice asked. Before I could turn and say “No, go ahead,” a figure plopped themselves down beside me without waiting for me to finish. I frowned, trying to place the face – I’m fairly sure she was the potato girl from yesterday- _Holy CRAP_ , she looked like she was trying to eat a month’s worth in rations!

Stunned, Reiner, Bertholdt, Armin, and I looked on, while she seemed to devour everything on her plate in the blink of an eye.

“Ahhh, eating like a pig, like always,” another voice commented. I blinked, when did he get here? This guy was bald, but with fairly expressive eyes. He looked at potato girl with a fondness in his eyes I couldn’t really understand.

“I’m Connie Springer, by the way. This is Sasha Blouse, my fiancée.”

“Springer? As in from _THE_ noble family of Springer?”

I looked at Armin. Where did he get all of his information?

“Uh- yeah,” Connie confirmed.

“But- aren’t you-?” Armin asked, a puzzled tone in his voice.  
“Yea, our families thought we should receive basic military training and obtain a rank in the top ten first. Good for the family reputation, you know?”

Now it clicked. I remembered overhearing about these two at one of the estate parties at the manor! I’d never actually met them until today, but I recalled overhearing something about them chasing chickens-

Ugh, so useless! Why did I only overhear the useless news?

But it made sense. Noble families often sent their children to receive military training. Of course, my mother had been once part of it, learning basic skills and winning the top spot in the ranking tournament of her day, while my father’s abundance of talent in the medical arts propelled him into a doctor’s path almost immediately. So naturally, it would make sense that the lords and ladies today would now encourage their children to join the military to receive training and earn a reputation. Of course, many couldn’t handle the tough training and dropped out, where their families would shun them at their early return, ashamed that their child couldn’t even accomplish _that_ much. It goes to say that many of these nobles’ children would be too terrified to drop out and push on despite everything.

Some resorted to bullying others, forcing them to drop out so they would have less competition. I had heard that this got particularly bad right before the ranking tournaments, where some people would try whatever means possible to eliminate their competition.

Making it into the top ten meant high prestige, so no wonder some would play dirty to get what they wanted.

I personally didn’t care much about being ranked, I just wanted to grow stronger so I could be one step closer to a particular person…

_Huh?_

I blinked.

_Where did everyone go?_

I was the last one in the mess hall; lost between my thoughts and daydreaming, it looked like everyone had already left to assemble for the morning’s training routine. I quickly grabbed my bottle of milk, quickly chugging down the remnants so I could go and join everyone-

“Erin?”

_PPHHHBBBTTTTHHHH!!!!!_

I instantly spat out the milk I was in the middle of swallowing. Coughing, I looked around, my eyes blown wide and unbelieving.

I stood up so fast that the narrow bench I had been sitting on toppled over backwards with a loud crash.

“MI-MIKASA??!”

Heart pounding, I dragged my hand across my mouth to wipe off the milk trickling down. Armin - That bastard! He hadn't mentioned anything about Mikasa being here too! I jerked my head towards the door, quickly trying to mentally calculate if I could run out fast enough before Mikasa tackled me to the ground. Mikasa seemed to read my mind and narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms.

That said everything – _Don’t even think about it._

“B-Boy! What a surprise to see you here, Mikasa! H-Haha-hahahaha….”

Mikasa’s eyes narrowed further, becoming menacing narrow slits. I involuntarily shuddered, knowing what would come next.

I sighed, bending over to pick up and right the bench I had knocked over.

“I know why you’re here, Mikasa. But I’ll have you know, I’m really serious about this. I’m not going back.” I cast my eyes towards the floor. “I told Armin already,” I said, looking up to meet Mikasa’s eyes.

I expected to see his angry face, a glare with enough heat to melt ice in a second. I expected him to start yelling at me, telling me that this was such a stupid idea, that I should go back- hell, I _wanted_ him to yell at me, because what I saw was not what I was expecting at all.

“Mi-Mikasa?”

Tears were trickling down Mikasa’s cheeks.

“Wh-What’s wrong?”

“YOU BIG IDIOT!” he suddenly yelled, taking a big step towards me. I automatically shut my eyes and hunched my shoulders, preparing myself for the inevitable punch.

A warm feeling enveloped me instead, and I felt myself being pushed back. Reality betraying my expectations again, I gingerly opened my eyes.

Mikasa clung to me, body shaking with quiet sobs.

“Mi-Mikasa…” At a loss, I slowly brought up my hands to gently stroke the top of his head. The sobs grew more pronounced. Now smiling slightly at his concern, I continued my slow and gentle strokes.

After a while, Mikasa seemed to regain his composure. Stepping back, he looked up at me with a glare.

“Mikasa, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to-”

“What? Didn’t want to get me involved? So you ran off on your own? Did you ever think that maybe- _maybe_ \- I would actually want to join you too?”

“Mikasa, I know mother will be upset- Wait, _WHAT_?”

I blinked twice, unable to believe my ears.

“You’re the worst! I can’t believe you took off on your own without telling me! Those bandits would have killed you if Armin wasn’t tracking you down and told me in the nick of time. Atleast they got nowhere near you,” Mikasa finished savagely.

I was feeling slightly dizzy.

“You- So _you_ took care of the bandits Armin mentioned? I was wondering how he managed to get past them-”

Mikasa scoffed. “Worry about yourself first. You know I would follow you wherever you go, Erin.  Mother is probably throwing a fit at the moment. But I know she wouldn’t mind; after all, she knows how stubborn you can get.”

I smiled.

“Thank you so much for understanding, Mikasa-”

“Don’t thank me, it’s creepy. Thank Armin, he’s the one who had to figure out how to track you after you ditched your horse after a few days. You know, I think it’s the only time I’ve heard him swear,” Mikasa said, smiling. “I believe he made quite a few promises to kill you with his bare hands when he found you, but I see he hasn’t made good on that promise yet.”

I laughed weakly. Honestly, when did I get so _lucky_ to have such good friends-

Then I realized something odd.

“Wait, Mikasa? You’re- you’re wearing a skirt!” I exclaimed, this detail registering in my head for the first time. I had been so shocked to see Mikasa here, and he had thrown himself to hug me, I didn’t have a chance to notice what he was wearing.

I got a faint smile in return.

“You’re wearing men’s clothes. And you cut your hair,” Mikasa said, running his hands through my messy and short brunette hair.

“Y-Yeah. I wanted to be myself. I don’t want to be recognized here as the prestigious Lady Erin, I just wanted to be- _me_.” Mikasa nodded, so I continued. “Here, I can be myself. Just- plain old me - Eren. No stupid rules. No restrictions. Well, other than those I have during training, anyway. But imagine! After I finish training, it’ll just be me. And I could do whatever I want. Go wherever I want to go. I’ll be truly free!” I finished.

Mikasa smiled.

“I don’t want anyone to know who I really am, either,” Mikasa said. “This place will be in an uproar if they find out I belong to the Yeager Family. I’m going by Mikasa Ackerman here, female.”

“Your birth surname? Are you sure?” I asked.

Mikasa nodded.

“I’ll be discovered in no time otherwise. Also, this is stating the obvious, but everything is communal here, so…”

“Eren! Mikasa! So here’s where you two are, hurry up, the assembly is starting!”

Interrupted in our conversation, Mikasa and I looked up to see a panting Armin in the doorway.

“Don’t just stare at me, come on!”

 

***      ***      ***

 

Armin could feel a headache coming on.

“Psst, Eren, remember your hands!”

Eren cursed. Armin sighed. This had been the tenth time that day he had reminded his friend that his ‘lady like habits’ were kicking in during the middle of military training. But Armin wasn’t ready to give up yet, he knew his friend was determined, so Armin was determined to do whatever he could to help. And Eren was learning, slowly but surely.

Armin glanced over to Mikasa. He- no, _she_ was doing just fine. Already, he could sense deep respect for her skills among the many trainees, and some even felt fear. Mikasa’s prowess easily outdid everyone present there. Noone had any doubt that she would be placing first in the ranking tournament. Luckily, no one seemed to doubt Mikasa’s actions or mannerisms, and Armin supposed he had Mikasa’s nature to thank for that. Silent and strong, Mikasa progressed through training without much effort; she looked impassive (unless Eren was involved) where she would demonstrate unnatural protectiveness. Everyone took her to be like an overprotective mother to Eren, while Eren was joked about, but his efforts were taken seriously.

They had faced a few close calls, mostly others asking about their home; Armin had made up stories about how Eren had been a stable boy (“You like animals, don’t you?” Armin had hissed), Mikasa had been a guard-in-training, and Armin had been a records clerk for a small-time lord in the south. No one had doubted their story, and no one had guessed their true identities. The news of Lady Erin’s disappearance did not seem to have made it to the military camp. Armin silently thanked the fact that the camp was relatively isolated to allow for exercises and training expeditions, and communication with their families was discouraged to ensure the trainees weren’t distracted by letters and news from home, which would disrupt discipline by creating distracted minds and a longing for home.

In fact, sending a letter was so expensive that even the noble’s children didn’t dare send or accept a letter from home – it cost a small fortune. A messenger would arrive once every few weeks irregularly, but only to deliver the most important of military news and ongoings of the state and kingdom. The training camp operated independently, and the trainers and instructors word was law. It was simple and easy. It was everyday life.

“Switch partners!” their instructor’s voice called.

Panting, Armin turned to see who he could pair with – it turned out to be Connie. He had turned out to be the biggest goofball Armin had met, but he liked him.

Quickly glancing around, Eren had found his next partner and instantly frowned.

“Horseface.”

“Oh, its _you_.”

“Our last match was a tie, but this one won’t be.”

Armin sighed. They were practicing single-handed sword moves. And those two were always at each other’s throats, it was nothing new. Even Mikasa had given up interfering between them after the first few times, she knew it would be nothing serious. Armin also strongly suspected it was the fact that Jean usually turned into a stuttering mess around Mikasa at times, so he went easy on Eren considering the fact that Mikasa was his sister. Jean took care not to get on Mikasa’s bad side, even if Eren did piss him off.

Fifteen minutes later, Armin sat in the dirt, having lost the match to Connie.

“Come on Yeager, is that all you got?” Jean’s taunting voice carried over to them. Over sounds of clashing wooden swords, Armin heard Eren’s determined yell. Connie extended his hand to help Armin up- Armin accepted gratefully.

“Ya know, I was wondering if ‘Yeager’ didn’t sound somewhat familiar…” Connie muttered.

Armin froze.

“Hm…Ah! I know! That famous house! I’m pretty sure it was the Yeager estate! I remember going there once for a party with Sasha…”

Armin gulped. _Oh no._

“Hm…speaking of Yeager…Eren…I feel like I’ve heard that name somewhere…? Eren? Yeager….Erin? Erin…ahhh…pretty sure it was….Erin? Lady…Erin?”

Connie frowned, putting one hand on his chin to scratch at his jaw, thinking hard.

“Ahhh! Yea, there is a Lady Erin at the Yeager estate!” Armin said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

“There is? Ha! I knew it! I’m so smart,” Connie grinned.

“Oh yes, she’s a most beautiful _lady_ , the prettiest _girl_ with long, flowing hair,” Armin supplied, desperate.

“But you know…Eren is-”

“Eren was a stable _boy_ , ya know? All day, instead of doing his work, he’d be distracted by the animals and get scolded all the time. What a stupid _boy_ ,” Armin said, emphasizing _boy_ as much as possible.

“Ahh…hahaha, yeah! What a coincidence, Eren and that Lady have the same last name, then!” Connie said, a wide grin on his face. “Ahahaha…alright Armin, ready to go for round two?”

“Ahahahaha…yeaaaahhhhhhh let’s do it!” Armin whooped enthusiastically, the biggest shit-eating-grin marking his face.

“Switch partners!” the instructor thankfully called out. Armin quickly thanked Connie for being such an _amazing_ partner, etc.

A minute later, face muscles twitching and tired from fake smiles, Armin turned around to face his next partner, Marco Bott; then sighed deeply.

_Disaster averted._

Thank god Connie was an idiot.

 

***      ***      ***

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo...hopefully this chapter was acceptable! I'm sorry there's no Levi here, but there's tons of Levi in the foreseeable future...eheheh...  
> In the meantime, please see Eren through this next training arc!!! :D


	10. The Warmth of Friends

“Rub your face in dung, Horseface!” Eren yelled.

“Rub yours in piss and smelly tripe!” Jean retorted with equal vigor.

“You first, you prat.”

“You’re the prat, halfwit.”

“You little-”

Marco sighed, jogging on.

This was a daily occurrence. The day wouldn’t be the same if it didn’t have Eren and Jean going at it at each other. It was 5 am in the morning, and the 104th Corps were doing their early morning jog, nothing new; and Eren and Jean were trading insults again, nothing new; and Uh-Oh Mikasa was sending glares in their general direction, but once noticing that it was just Jean again, she ignored them, nothing new.

It was chilly, and there was frost everywhere. Nevermind, it was _cold_. Where on earth did they get so much energy to piss each other off so early in the morning? Marco wished he knew.

But now he was getting tired, since they had run almost seven miles. He had also just passed a bad bout of the flu, the worst having passed just yesterday, so he was feeling a bit winded. He slowed his pace to try and catch his breath while Jean and Eren jogged past, while Mikasa cast a general worried glance in his direction but passed on once Marco smiled and waved her on. Naturally, he gradually fell to the very back of the line in the company of slackers, or those who had still yet to wake up fully, or Armin.

“H-Hey Marco,” Armin panted while sparing him a worried glance.

Marco sent him an encouraging smile.

“Ah, I was just getting tired,” Marco explained. “I feel better today, but I needed to slow my pace. Jean is still up front, arguing with Eren,” Marco supplied, knowing how close they were.

Armin nodded, huffing badly.

They jogged in silence, Marco admiring the strong determined look plastered across Armin’s face. The group arrived back in camp for breakfast, and Marco and Armin trailed in the mess hall, having been the last ones to arrive. Those at the head of the group had already finished breakfast, while Marco and Armin hurried to get trays and find a seat. They soon found their group of friends (it wasn’t hard – just make your way to the loudest of the groups); plates demolished clean of food, Jean and Eren still arguing.

Marco quickly lifted his tray higher to dodge a sneak attack at his bread by Sasha, and calmly sat down next to Jean. Armin followed, but didn’t notice part of his scrambled eggs disappearing off his plate- “ _Sasha!_ ” he cried indignantly after finding out, but the damage had been done. Settling down comfortably in his group of friends, Marco surveyed the group.

He was so lucky.

He remembered the harsh days serving under his master. His old master hadn’t been kind with his harsh demands, insults, and beatings. His days as a house servant were the most painful memories Marco possessed. Then the day had come where after a particularly harsh beating, Marco had hit _back_. And run. Knowing that his life was over, because once word got around that a servant had raised a hand to his master, his life would be _over_. It was already over to begin with. He would no longer find employment, no longer would someone even _look_ his way, he would be lower than trash lying on the side of the street.

But someone _did_ look.

From his position lying down at the side of the road, litter surrounding him, weak with hunger, Marco had looked up.

And he had found God – no, he had found an Angel looking down at him.

“Hey – you. Are you ok?” The voice had asked, and leant an arm. Marco had retreated – no, this pure Angel had no business touching such filth as him- yet, that arm had relented and reached out further.

Marco had gingerly taken it, been pulled to his feet, unstable and smelling like a thousand rotten fishes. Yet the figure had hugged him closely, offered his own body as support, and half-dragged him to the carriage.

Wait – Carriage?

Yes, carriage.

His angel-saviour had turned out to be Young Master Jean Kirstein, son of one of the small Lords in the town neighbouring his old Master’s. His angel-saviour had fed him, clothed him, given him a room to call his own, and treated him like a _friend_.

Marco had begged him to return the favor in labour, but Jean had shown a shocked face and downright refused, telling him that his place here was as a personal _friend_ , not a servant.

 _But why?_ Marco had found the question haunting his thoughts day and night, and finally had practically yelled, asking Jean “But why _ME?_ ”, and found himself pinned to the wall behind him, warm lips claiming his own, whispering “ _That’s_ why.”

Jean was very kind to him, very gentle – _extremely_ gentle to him even in bed. And Marco gave in willingly- more than willingly, because Marco knew the true kindness behind Jean’s exterior, he knew the _real_ Jean.

Marco’s smile grew wider, because it looked like Jean had finally found a real friend in Eren, even though no one would believe him if he said it out loud. He heard Jean’s cocky words meant to insult Eren, but listened to the light tone, the flicks in his voice to certain words, that meant he was quite enjoying their daily banter. Jean spared a quick glance at his lover, eyebrow raised questioningly, and Marco looked away quickly, embarrassed. It was almost like Jean knew he was thinking about him…

“Ahem.”

“Huh? What?”

“Sasha is trying to steal your bread again, Marco,” Bertolt muttered to him quietly.

“Huh? Oh, thanks,” Marco muttered back quietly to the giant, moving his plate out of Sasha’s reach. He once again marvelled at Bertolt’s size- _What had his parents fed him when he was little?_

Sasha yelled out a ‘ _No Fair!’_ while redoubling her efforts to steal food from someone else.

Marco cleaned his plate, getting up to lightly pull Jean away from the table while Armin did the same with Eren.

 

***      ***      ***

 

“Of all the people to be paired up with, it had to be _you_ , horseface? I wish I could trade so badly right now…”

“Same to you. I can’t believe this…”

I gritted my teeth and slouched my shoulders in defeat, knowing I had no choice.

This was yet another training exercise – no, it would be more accurate to call this a graded test. Partners were decided through a blind draw, and it had just been my luck when the numbers were announced that Jean had also drawn a number ‘7’. Why oh why couldn’t it have been a ‘6’? Just one less and I could’ve paired with Armin…but that was only a pipe dream now.

“Eren!” I heard Mikasa call, and I lifted my head surveying the small crowd for the source of her voice. She wasn’t hard to find- her raven black hair bobbed among others, red scarf trailing behind her to make its way to me.

“Ah, hey Mikasa, who’d you get paired with?” I smiled fondly at her, chuckling slightly at her concerned gaze.

“Mine’s Connie. I’m glad you have a decent partner, otherwise I wouldn’t have forgiven anyone who would made you fail,” she snarled.

“Ahh n-not at all, Mikasa! I’ll take good care of your brother!” Jean stuttered like an idiot, grinning like a fool while putting his arm around my shoulder. I glared at him, trying to shove his arm off. He was always trying to show Mikasa he was better than me. Well, I couldn’t let him, could I?

“No thank you. I can take care of myself,” I huffed, finally managing to shrug his arm off.

“Aww come on, Little Bro! We know I’m very dependable and strong-”

“As if! Get off your high horse, horseface!”

“Why you little…show some appreciation for those clearly in a better league than you, you twat.”

“Says the little spoon-fed mightier-than-thou prat still suckling his mother’s milk,” I smirked.

Jean turned a delicate shade of pink.

“Why you-” he started, but got cut off with Reiner’s booming voice.

“Now now you two, we mustn’t fight now. After all, we have the next month to spend with each other…”

“Eren! You alright?” came Armin’s voice.

I turned to look at the small figure of my best friend Armin. It looked like he had been paired off with Reiner for this exercise. Reiner was strong, I was sure he would take care of Armin just fine for this exercise.

“Yeah, just the usual…” I sighed. This would be a long exercise, but it would also be the last. After successful completion of this survival exercise, if we passed, all of us could finally make it to the ranking tournaments 2 months from now. At last, my chance was here! I didn’t have any intention to join the military police, so I didn’t necessarily have to make the top ten. I looked around to the group of people I had spent the last two years with. We had all overcome hardships, merciless training and stuck with each other through thick and thin.

Now I just had to get through this one last challenge with horseface as my partner…just my luck…

 

***      ***      ***

 

“Armin! You made it!” I yelled happily, running out to meet him.

“Eren! You’re here! You’re alive!” Armin sobbed into my shoulder. I hugged him back and didn’t hold back- we had just made it back alive through our training exercise, it had been a month since we had last seen each other, not knowing when we'd see everyone again - we were just _so_ happy to see each other.

“Wow, you’re hurt everywhere, Armin! What happened?” I asked, looking at the various cuts and bruises everywhere.

“We had to outrun a pair of bandits on our very last day, just our luck,” Armin grinned, rubbing his cheek. “We managed to throw them off our trail at a waterfall.”

“What? How-”

“It was all Armin’s idea,” Reiner boomed behind me, making me jump. “He had me throw our cloaks abroad into the water to make them believe we’d jumped off into the waterfall and make some believable footprints to go along. All the while, we just climbed up a nearby tree and made a run for it when all was clear. Wasn’t looking where we were going, though,” Reiner grinned, his large smile matching Armin’s. I shook my head at the pair, marveling at Armin’s brilliant strategy. Only he could have pulled off something so impressive.

“Eren? Are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere? Did you run into any bandits? Did they do anything to you?”

Before I could react, a strong hand forcefully pulled me away from Armin, trying to take off my shirt to check for wounds.

“Mi-Mikasa! I’m fine! Stop it!” I protested, yanking my shirt back onto my shoulders. “I made it ok, and no…there were no bandits…”

I scratched the back of my head, not giving her the rest of the details (I had run into bears and man-eating snakes…but I didn’t think Mikasa needed to know about that).

Other loud voices soon followed (mostly Connie and Sasha), and it was with a happy crowd we celebrated that night with a toast. Hours later, escaping the roar of the celebration, Armin, Mikasa and I stepped out to get some fresh air. 

“Now we get a month off to train for the ranking tournaments next month huh…” I muttered.

I lifted my face to look at the stars in the night sky. I felt Mikasa and Armin follow my gaze. I snuck in a glance to either side of me, suddenly feeling warm. I inched my hands to hold theirs - Armin's in my right, Mikasa's in my left.

“Thanks, you two…” I muttered.

I think they automatically understood what I was thanking them for. To follow me here into the camp. Not forcing me to go back. Allowing me to chase my dreams. For being my friends.

Mikasa adjusted her scarf to cover her nose. “I’d always go with you, you know…” she replied.

“You’re welcome, Eren,” Armin giggled. I smiled back at him. He clearly had had a lot to drink.

I suddenly felt my chin become ticklish – startled, I noticed that both Armin and Mikasa had claimed my shoulders, resting their heads upon either of my shoulders. I tightened my fingers around theirs, smiling at the warmth and wishing this moment would last forever.

 

 ***      ***      ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm....sorry for the short chapter! But Levi is inching closer by the minute, I hope I can put him back on the pages again soon!!


	11. The Ranking Tournament

  
“…And cadets! On your mark! Start!”

The roar of the crowd was deafening. I seriously doubted the ability of my eardrums to function anymore.

We were in Stohess city, Imperial Capital of Shiganshina Kingdom. Every year, all graduating classes gathered here, each recruit now having overcome their harsh training.  At last, we had all made it, where some had not.  We were now all waiting to take the last test – the ranking tournament.

I hadn’t realized the tournament was  _this_  popular. The tournament was hosted within the capital city since it boasted the largest military training ground, and opened once a year to the public for the tournament. I remembered coming here once before when I was small, when mother had brought me here to witness the various competitions that formed a main component of the tournament. The tournament lasted 5 days, turning the surrounding areas almost festive with various stalls, vendors displaying goods, and bustling inns.

The 104th Trainee’s squad was accommodated on the grounds, as we were a part of the tournament. We mingled with trainees from other areas of the country, all sharing our harsh experiences and making new friends.

Right after arriving, Mikasa, Armin, and I set off to explore the grounds first. We marvelled at the very large stage surrounded my raised seats curving off in every direction.

“This amphitheatre is built every year especially for the tournament,” Armin commented. “They dismantle it after everything is done. It says here the main duels will be taking place here,” he recited, reading off the pamphlet we were all given upon arrival. We had a day off to rest, relax, explore the capital, train and prepare for the tournament starting tomorrow.

“Ohhh,” I said, marvelling at the sheer size of the thing. The raised seats offered a perfect view of the center stage, where I presumed all of us would soon be facing off. I wonder who would come to watch us? Often, the local nobles would come to recruit raw talent, offering positions as body guards, or as a soldier for the noble (depending on their status and wealth). This was perhaps, one of the few alternatives to joining the Survey Corps, Military Police, or the Garrison. One didn’t have to particularly win a top spot (although that was favorable). One may just impress certain nobles and be recruited that way.

Not surprisingly, the majority of the crowd and spectators would be commoners, as this tended to be one of the rare events that was free-for-all. The kingdom displayed such tournaments as a show to demonstrate the might of the country’s military and cheap entertainment for the masses. I looked to the particular (small) section of the amphitheatre dedicated to the nobles who would be attending and frowned. The area was obvious – it was situated right in front of the stage center, with its own entrance/exit, and marked-off with red silk ribbons. The seats placed there were plush and rich cushions surrounded everything.

We nodded to a few other trainees from another squad who had come to tour the place as well, and set off to the second location where the horse races would take place, which usually drew large crowds as well. 

We walked around more, eventually deciding to actually explore the capital. All the while, we heatedly debated which competitions we would participate in. We had a choice to participate in any of 5 out of the 15 available competition events. Restrictions only were applied by the five categories – the teamwork category, horseback riding, sword skills, martial arts, and archery. Each of the five categories had three broad events – hence fifteen events to decide from.

The sword category had fencing, broadsword, and spear. Mikasa and I chose to compete in the broadsword category with dual blades, and Armin decided on fencing. One category down, four to go. We continued our debate, now heading out to see the capital. Armin was stuck on martial arts (he was never good with physical effort), but we convinced him to reluctantly sign up for the wrestling matches, where atleast he would be matched up with a similar opponent in weight and he wouldn’t be punched in the face.

Therefore, in five days, we would each participate in one event of our choice per category. We would be allowed to accumulate points in every competition, so even if you lost in one category, you could even your score with another. Of course, your cumulated overall score determined your ranking amongst all other trainees. And among the crowd, only the top ten were given the honor to join the military police.

I scoffed at the thought. I would do my best win my matches regardless…and I wasn’t here to join the military police.

“Eren?” Mikasa called from afar. Looking for the source of her voice, I hurriedly crossed the street, avoiding an oncoming carriage - the capital streets were  _busy_. She was standing in front of a small inn.

“Armin’s already inside, getting our lunch. Let’s go.”

Nodding, I followed her in, looking around curiously. I had never really been in a commoner’s inn before (noting the exception of  _that_  day – but I had been in the bedrooms on the second floor, so it counted, right?  _Right?_ )

Clamour assaulted my ears, and I stared, befuddled at the sight. This was such a different sight from the orderly and disciplined mess halls in military training. Here, circular wooden tables were crammed in within every available square inch in the small space of the first floor. Chairs were arranged haphazardly, food and drinks being passed around with no second thought. Loud men laughed boomingly - drunk, despite being just past noon. Girls in aprons balanced large trays in both hands, dancing around tables and twirling in an effort to place down the plates effortlessly while dodging men’s hands trying to reach at their behinds.

“Eren, here, at the back,” Mikasa tugged my arm. Still looking around at the clamour, I blindly followed her lead to the very back where Armin had seemingly grabbed us a table somehow. Mikasa effortlessly twisted a man’s hand trying to reach for her, making his face contort in extreme pain – She glared at him with such intensity that he actually  _whimpered_  from it, stumbling back and backing away from his table. 

Finally sitting down, we continued our debate well into lunch, having mostly settled our decisions on the 5 competitive events we would be participating in – Mikasa still trying to convince me to change my event preferences.

“For the last time Mikasa, my choices are final. I am  _not_  changing my mind-”

“No, Eren, why don’t you just choose something safer, you’re going to get hurt-”

“Look, I’ll be  _fine_ , I’ve gone through the same training as you have, Mikasa! Just trust me!”

“But-”

“Why don’t you leave this to Eren, Mikasa,” Armin supplied quietly. We both turned to look at him, stunned. He rarely intervened in our arguments, opting instead to sit quietly and observe.

“He’ll do fine, we’ve seen him make it through worse before. You know what you need to do Eren, just don’t lose your cool. You’re too hotheaded sometimes.”

I nodded, smiling slightly. Mikasa opened her mouth to argue, but closed it quickly again, finding no counter argument. I heard her mutter “fine” under her scarf, to which both me and Armin started laughing.

“Enough about this, let’s toast!”

 

***      ***      ***

 

“Come on Armin, you can do ittttt!” Connie cheered. Armin retreated a few steps from his opponent, retracting his fencing foil to his side. Armin charged again, this time scoring a point. A few cheers arose from the crowd, the loudest being from the small cheering group consisting of the 104th trainees. Mikasa nodded approvingly, Krista cheered on mildly, while Connie supplied the verbal whooping.

Sasha was too busy stuffing herself with a large plate of fried chicken she had acquired from  _somewhere_ , as she had just finished one of her matches in the broadsword category. A few minutes later, the match ended, Armin stepping off-stage with a relieved expression on his face.

At Mikasa’s concerned look, he smiled. “I’m just happy I was able to score even a few points. That I lost doesn’t matter.”

Mikasa nodded. It looks like she didn’t need to worry after all. In fact, she was surprised to see Armin scoring points off his opponent when they least expected it; he was holding up his own somehow. 

They moved to the next venue where they watched as Bertolt towered over his opponent in the spear match; shy at first, then growing bolder and bolder as he scored one point at a time – finally securing a smooth win. Their small group cheered – now joined by the mocking whoops from Ymir and the booming voice of Reiner, making Bertolt turn red around his ears. The group now larger, hurried to the next location at the amphitheater for the main broadsword event – undoubtedly the source of the largest cheers.

Armin muttered how grateful he was to have chosen fencing – the crowd at his venue had been tiny. Laughing in response, Reiner lifted him to place him on his shoulders, affectionately rubbing the top of his head. Armin protested, but stopped struggling once he found he had a full nice view of the stadium and the stage. His eyes scanned the large crowd, noting the particular nobles that had taken residence in their designated section.

“Jean is on right now!” Armin yelled to their group, and they all scrambled to see him duel a scrawny kid from another squad. Jean easily won, showing off a few moves in the process, and earning a few cheers from the crowd. His friends didn’t miss the glance Jean threw over at the nobles, performing another unnecessarily flashy move. Some of the nobles clapped in approval, and Jean nodded slightly in their direction, elegantly sheathing his blades as the referee declared him the winner.

They clapped Jean on the back once he joined them, not a single bead of sweat visible.

“Easy win, huh?” Ymir mocked him, where the group broke into their usual bickering and threats of beating each other. Reiner set Armin down on even ground, and Armin turned to Mikasa at once.

“Your mother wasn’t there among the nobles sitting here to watch the matches,” Armin supplied quietly to Mikasa. “I did notice some other familiar faces of Dukes and Duchesses though. Just make sure you’re not seen.”

Mikasa nodded her thanks.

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

“When is Eren’s match?” Mikasa asked.

It was the second-to-last day of the tournament. Today the competition revolved around the martial arts category- the amphitheater was holding the hand-to-hand combat matches. 

“I didn’t see Eren anywhere on the stage lineup for the matches. His match is probably soon though, I think he may be in the back room.” Armin and Mikasa hurriedly made their way to the back. The back rooms were actually  _under_  the amphitheatre seats, and they soon found Eren in one of the rooms.

It turned out that Eren had one match earlier in the day and won, he was up for another opponent in the next ten minutes. They comfortably chatted, and Armin was careful not to bring up his discussion with Mikasa the day before about Eren and Mikasa being recognized by nobles. Besides, he didn’t think Eren would be easily recognized with such a large crowd.

Soon, it was Eren’s turn, and Armin and Mikasa went up to find some seats to watch his match. Eren’s opponent was a tall, bulky trainee from another squad – he lunged stupidly at Eren at first. Eren calmly sidestepped him, remembering Armin’s and Mikasa’s advice to him right before the match. Eren placed himself solidly, bringing his fists up in a basic stance. The opponent charged in with a powerful punch, and Eren tilted his head to avoid it while stepping in for a strike to the stomach. The crowd whooped as Eren earned a few more points and now backed off, breathing heavily. But his opponent was worse off - the bulky trainee charged at Eren again but Eren ducked- and seemed to realize that he was in fact quicker and faster than his opponent. Now dodging and weaving, Eren scored multiple points in quick succession. Bringing up his fist close to his face, he parried another strike, letting his opponent’s kick connect with his forearm. With his opponent’s attention focused on the moment, Eren quickly spun around to grab at his opponent’s neglected arm, shifting his own weight to throw him neatly over his shoulder. The crowd whooped at the beautifully executed body-throw, while Eren straightened as the referee paused the match to allow Eren’s opponent to recover and stand up – a “fair-play” rule.

Eren quickly focused as the other trainee got up, and traded a few more blows before quickly bringing up his knee to his chest, and shooting it straight out to deliver a solid kick to his opponent’s stomach. The trainee gasped, stumbling back to regain his breath. Eren didn’t miss a beat, quickly using the opportunity to score more points, finally ending the match with a roundhouse kick to his opponent’s side. The referee declared the winner (the tournament didn’t announce names, they were all assigned numbers to ensure no bias), Eren cordially shook his opponent’s hand, and Armin didn’t miss how the poor beaten trainee flinched away from Eren.

“Doesn’t hold back, does he,” muttered Armin, smiling.  

 

***      ***      ***

 

Levi huffed in irritation as he followed Erwin. Pulling his hood over his head, he silently followed him into the large amphitheater full of people. Full of  _unwashed bodies._  Levi cringed inwardly. Good thing he wouldn’t be staying long.

He looked around at the large commoner crowd, howling and screaming at the participants. It seemed like the godforsaken yearly ranking tournaments was going full swing, and it was this particular time Erwin had chosen to make an urgent call to the equally godforsaken seating area meant for the nobles. Apparently some civil unrest east of the capital had Erwin pulling this noble out of the middle of his  _entertainment_  in watching these brats duel it out for a measly rank to join the military police.

Levi irritably tsked, surveying the crowd and tapping his foot impatiently while Erwin did his best to explain the urgency of the matter quickly to the lord. Apparently the nobleman understood soon ( _thank goodness_ ), and Erwin and Levi stepped back, letting the noble leave first.

Erwin followed suit, and Levi turned to leave, not having missed the proceedings as the crowd erupted into a loud cheer as the smaller brat in the match actually managed to  _throw_  his much larger opponent over his shoulder, kick him in the stomach after he had recovered, then finally delivered a clean roundhouse to win the match.

Slightly impressed, Levi turned to leave.

 

***      ***      ***

 

“Aughhh I am  _soooo_  tired,” Connie whined. “Me toooooo,” Sasha groaned.

“Shut up, you two,” Jean commented, rubbing his tired eyes.

Then in unison, their  _entire_  group yawned.

Armin began giggling first, joined in by Krista, followed by a chuckling Jean, laughing from Connie, Sasha, Ymir, Eren and Mikasa joining in with Bertolt, and Reiner booming his guts out.

“We’re all tired, then. Let’s hit the sack.” No one argued, having drained every last bit of energy that day.

Armin wondered how their rankings would look like the following day. He sure hoped he passed…

The sun broke through their window the following morning, searing their eyelids.

Grumbling, they staggered to grab breakfast, and made merry with their friends until lunchtime. Lunch was surprisingly, a quiet affair. Everyone was thinking the same thing, but no one dared voice it out loud.

_How did they place?_

_Did they all pass?_

_What if their overall scores were too low?_

_Would they be kicked out?_

Unusually, Sasha and Connie were the most quiet. Armin understood; their usual goofy demeanours were nonexistent because these ranking decided their value to their families. Would they have to face their family – proud of their achievements and show off their skills, or hide in shame as they displayed a pathetic score suited to that of a sewer rat?

The tension mounted as the group silently made their way back to their rooms. They changed into their training uniforms for the last time. This was it. They would find out their score, and determine if they graduated or failed. After this, they would be free to choose which military division to join, or be recruited by nobles, and for some it meant they could finally see their families again.

Armin nervously tugged at his collar. He knew he had scored enough (the minimum requirement was fifty- not hard to do), but still, he worried.

Following the boots of the rest of the trainees, Armin made his their way to the main compound to hear their scores announced.

He didn’t place. Of course not. He was happy, yet relieved at the same time – he didn’t want all the attention and trouble that came with it.

“Eren! You placed first in hand-to-hand combat!” Armin squealed as the results were posted and they milled around the board.

“Yeah, you definitely overdid it in that match with that poor kid, Eren,” Ymir nodded sympathetically. I mean, you not only threw him, he was already close to tears when you had to beat him up even more-”

“I did  _not_  beat him up!”

“He was crying later, I saw,” Sasha chimed in.

“You made him  _cry_? You’re so mean, Eren!” Reiner mocked.

“Shut up! You- you!” Eren groaned, trying to smack Reiner’s hand off his shoulders.

Mikasa stood by and smiled. A few passer-by’s glanced her way and whispered to each other – everyone now knew she had placed No.1 not only among the 104th, but was No.1 overall.

The rest of Armin’s thoughts were discarded in a happy mess as he was forcibly pulled along to celebrate at the local inn for the rest of the night. Only one clear thought remained-

_They had all officially graduated._

 

***      ***      ***

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummmm...I'm trying my best to keep my weekly updates! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :)  
> I guess this chapter would mark the end of the training arc! It was short enough, I hope, so we can get moving to the next arc, which I'm sure you all know what's coming...!!??


	12. The Survey Corps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reunion.

***      ***      ***

 

“Just how big is this place!” Connie yelled in complaint for the umpteenth time.

“Yea, yea, we know, now get your sorry ass moving,” Ymir countered.

“Hey, you newbies! Move your mouths less and your hands more!” a man with a crop of dirty blond hair reprimanded them. He himself was leaning against one of the many stone window skills, basking in the sunlight while doing no work himself.

“Oluo, the Captain won’t be pleased when he returns and finds the place is still dirty,” a petite woman with blond hair and a kind face scolded Oluo. “You’re not moving your hands either.”

They all looked down at the various brooms and mops they were all holding and sighed. There was a _lot_ of cleaning to be done. Various dusters littered the place, and buckets of soapy water lay around, to be used later.

They were currently in one of the south corridors in a small castle. This small but sturdy castle served as the headquarters to the Survey Corps- located snugly in the middle of a small forest, it was a ways away from many towns, villages, and settlements. It allowed for a comfortable place for the survey corps to plan and train for their expeditions.

Unfortunately, many of the graduating members of the 104th training corps had to face the daunting challenge of cleaning the castle as one of their very first tasks after joining the Survey Corps. The _very_ first task being to clean their rooms until you could eat off the floor was understandable, but the new soldiers now questioned the need to clean every square inch of the castle where they were sure many rooms and hallways weren’t even used.

“Cleanliness is godliness here,” Petra reminded them again. “Even us veterans aren’t excluded from this duty. You should learn from us the proper way that this place should be cleaned,” she explained, throwing a dirty glare at Oluo.

“But we’ve been cleaning for the better part of the entire morning!” Connie complained again, pouting pointedly over his broom. “These rooms and corridors are never ending…not to mention everything looks pretty much clean already.”

“It’s not good enough. There’s dust and tidbits that settle everywhere. People walking in from outside to inside bring in filth and dirt with them. Not to mention, the wind carries in dirt and dust and animal fur from far away and this place needs to be spick and span all the time,” Petra lectured. Connie was already nodding off on his broom and Oluo lazed around on the stone windowsill once more. Ymir looked bored, but an irritated frown was visible between her eyebrows.

_Stupid castle. Stupid cleaning…._

“Miss Petra, we’ve finished the north corridor!” a bright voice suddenly rang in the hallway. The four figures of Connie, Ymir, Oluo, and Petra looked up to see the small bouncing figure of Krista at the end of the hallway. She came running towards them, a sunny and refreshing smile on her face.

“Ohh! My dearest Krista has returned!” Ymir squealed, abandoning her broom by flinging it sideways, closing the distance between them in record time, and crushing her into a tight hug. “Do you know how painful it has been to stand and clean this whole time with a complaining baldy?”

“Y-Ymir, s-stop, there are people here,” Krista stammered over Ymir’s tight grip around her body and hands playing with her hair. Connie was indignant over the comment on his absence of hair, while Sasha, who had followed Krista, offered no comfort to her fiancée.

Petra offered her kind smile to them. “Just call me Petra. _Miss_ makes me sound too old… and good job, you were really fast, Krista. I trust that corridor is all clean?”

“Um…I was doing most of the cleaning,” Krista admitted. “Sasha might have um…dropped more breadcrumbs after I finished, though…”

Sasha showed no remorse, continuing to dig into her next piece of bread, when the group realized she was holding about half a dozen more in her arms…and still dropping breadcrumbs all over the place.

“Sasha! I can’t believe you, I _JUST_ broomed that area!” Connie yelled, but Sasha continued to eat and squabble back, all the while continually dropping more breadcrumbs.

“We’ve got a lively bunch of new soldiers here,” a deep voice suddenly boomed behind them.

Petra snapped to attention faster than Sasha could swipe bread, while Oluo did the same. Realizing who it was, Ymir let go of Krista to snap to attention, while Connie froze like a board in the middle of his squabble with Sasha, jumping to attention as well.  
“Commander Smith!” they all saluted, right fists smartly hitting their chests while retreating their left hands behind their backs.

Erwin let out a chuckle. “At ease. I see the cleaning is progressing quite well…” he commented, looking down at the numerous breadcrumbs all over the floor. “Better get everything done before Levi comes back.” He winked at them and continued walking on. “I won’t keep you any longer!” and with a wave of his hand, he was gone.

Krista let out a breath she had been holding, but Connie was the first to react aloud.

“W-Whoa! He was so intense! And intimidating…”

“I thought he was going to kill us,” Sasha squeaked.

“What the hell Sasha? Of course he wouldn’t! And _maybe_ if you weren’t stuffing yourself with bread _again…_ ”

“But those eyebrows!”

“Did you _see_ those eyebrows? You could’ve made reins for the horses with those,” Connie commented while waggling his eyebrows.

“Connie, stop!” Krista squealed, tears blossoming in her eyes from the laughter.

“Well…” Petra’s quiet voice cut through their laughter. They all quieted down to hear her better. “We call him _Commander Eyebrows_ for a good reason….”

They were laughing too hard to get any work done after that.

 

***      ***      ***

 

“This place is too freaking big!” Jean whinnied.

“Shut up and clean,” I sighed.

“Oh. I forgot. _You’re_ still here.”

“That’s my line. By the way, you missed a spot again,” I pointed to a large patch of dust Jean had forgotten to wipe…again. _Typical Jean._

“And _you_ have a stick up your ass. What’s got you so wound up? You don’t have to take everything so seriously….for goodness sakes, we’re _cleaning,_ Eren.”

I snorted.

“If we’ve been instructed to clean, I’ll clean. Or maybe you’ve failed to notice the veterans here are cleaning, too? Cleaning is a regular chore here, in case your sad excuse of sight has failed to notice that. Oh, I forgot, you’re _clearly_ blind, because you’ve been missing lots of spots while cleaning already. Any other blind _and_ deaf man could do a better job.”

“Ohh, _someone_  is clearly good at this and has done some maid training before,” Jean mocked. “Mina, was it? She taught you _well_?” Jean mocked, his voice rising an octave. His suggestive twitch at the corner of his lips hid nothing. A delicate shade of pink now dusted Eren’s cheeks.

“You take that back, Jean! She isn’t like that!” Eren snarled.

“Ah, hit a nerve, I see. I guess she took good _care_ of you, if you’re moaning her name in your sleep every morning.”

I seethed inside. Of course, out of habit, in the beginning of our training days, I used to cry out Mina’s name…only because back home, she had been the one to wake me every morning. I was used to calling her name in the mornings, only to tell her to close the curtains to my room, or that I needed just _five_ more minutes of sleep, or tell her I didn’t want to meet more of those _pigs_ , or that I needed just five more minutes of sleep….

It looked like Jean, Reiner, and Bertolt and misunderstood those early morning cries, and even though Reiner and Bertolt had accepted my half-assed explanation/lie and stopped teasing me about it, horseface here refused to give it up.

I reminded myself to breathe in, breathe out, breathe in…breathe out. There. Easy. Right?

“As I've surely told you a million times already, she was just a maid who helped out in the same house. I owe her, so stop making fun of her!” I threw my dirtiest glare at Jean.

“Are you two done cleaning this room yet?” Eld poked his head around the door. He blinked at the two of us standing off, clearly _not_ cleaning. “I thought I heard raised voices. Everything alright?”

“Yes, just fine, sir,” I said, clenching my fists. I didn’t want to end up in the detention cell over something like this. I had _finally_ joined the very outfit I had been yearning to join…I wasn’t about to let horseface ruin my chances here.

“Call me Eld, _sir_ makes me sound so old…” he made a face. His joking tone improved my mood slightly. Atleast the people here were nice and easy going, even though they were tough on the cleaning and cleanliness. Though I wondered about that…they seemed so easygoing, yet it didn’t seem like they would be the types to keep everything clean so diligently. Was this a tradition, or a command from the higher ups…?

“Well, after you two are done in here, I want you two to come and help me in the attic. There are some old scrolls Hange is looking for…I think they want to run more experiments. It’d help me out a lot, I’ve been searching for those for days,” Eld groaned.

I perked up at the name of the familiar name. “Hange is experimenting again? How are they?” I asked eagerly. I still clearly remember them being crazy enough to ask me to be friends with Captain Levi over one memorable luncheon. The recollection made my heart beat faster and my stomach flipped once.

Eld looked at me confusedly. “Oh, you’ve met Hange before? I don’t recall you lot being formally introduced though…”

Realizing my mistake, I immediately mentally kicked myself. Of course! I had met Hange at the Yeager mansion, as the Lady Erin. I couldn’t let it slip that I had already met a few members of the Survey Corps as Lady Erin…especially now that the connection between “Lady Erin” and Eren was a secret I wasn't about to reveal to just about anyone.

 “Oh…yeah…I’ve just heard about them from my mates Connie and Sasha. They have a lot of connections as they come from a family of nobles,” I lied, praying that Jean wouldn’t say anything to ruin it all. Jean looked confused, but didn’t say anything.

“Oh, I see their reputation has preceded them!” Eld nodded understandingly. I breathed a sigh of relief, thanking Hange’s crazy personality – they certainly were a topic of discussion with a lot of the nobles. Many nobles still raised eyebrows at their choice of pronouns, and many regarded them as a “freak”. That was one reason the Survey Corps had such a vibrant reputation around the Kingdom. But I paid those idiots no mind - those fools had no idea of the genius behind Hange and their free and amazing way of thinking. I found it admirable that they had actually managed to free themselves of their gender constraints and live as freely as they chose.

After a while, quickly dusting one last spot, I followed the hallway down to the nearest flight of stairs that would take me up to the attic. The thumping of another pair of shoes behind me reminded me that I wasn’t alone. I cursed my luck for getting stuck with cleaning duty with Jean all day.

Atleast the cleaning took my mind off things. The attic was surprisingly clean (then again, the entire castle was surprisingly clean), and only a slight layer of recent dust from the past few days had settled over the entire place.

“This place is so big that it actually takes a few days to clean the whole castle,” Eld admitted. “We cleaned the attic three days ago, and moved on to other parts of the castle. As you can see, now that we’re back here, there’s dust from the last three days again.” 

“So we’re basically constantly cleaning?” Jean asked incredulously.

Eld nodded, and I held back laughter, relishing in the pained look across Jean’s face. Atleast I could take pleasure in Jean's agony...as I didn’t mind cleaning.

“So, where do we start cleaning first?” I asked Eld enthusiastically, watching the reaction on Jean’s face.

“Eren, you can come over here and check these boxes for the scrolls,” Eld instructed. “The scrolls are supposedly old and still sealed. Look for a green ribbon and red wax. Jean, you can start cleaning in that corner there,” Eld pointed.

I snickered under my breath just as Jean gave me a pointed glare.

A few hours later, Eld had left to go somewhere (possibly to relieve himself), and I was sitting with my legs crossed on an old but plush leather chair, with dozens of scrolls spread across the floor and my lap. I leisurely sorted through a bunch of them, neatly categorizing them into crates by subject, seals, or unknown. A massive stack of letters sat behind me, yet to be sorted.

I heard a loud crash from the other corner of the room. Moments later, a dishevelled Jean emerged, covered in a green and foul smelling liquid. I scrunched my nose and pinched my nostrils at the pungent odour.

“What pissed on you?” I wanted to laugh aloud so badly, and also to run from the room and the smell, but simultaneously stay back to see how Jean dealt with this situation.

“Shut up, Eren,” Jean snapped. “Stupid jar. What the hell were they storing in it, dead frogs? This smells disgusting!”

“Was it a large ornate jar?” I asked, putting in an uncertain edge to my voice.

“…Yeah?” Jean said. “I think so. Why? Do you what it was?”

I widened my eyes comically for effect. “Holy moly Jean…it can't be! I just found a scroll about that same jar a few minutes ago! That was a thousand year old sacred jar! It's valued close to the worth of ten royal castles!” I cried.

“What?” Jean looked dismayed. “No way! That thing looked old and decrepit-”

I was laughing internally so hard I think I was going to burst a bladder. “That’s the point, you idiot! It’s _old!_ And now you’ve destroyed it….not to mention it contained the most valuable contents…” I said dramatically.

Jean’s reaction was pure gold. He looked fearfully at the back of the room where he had broken the jar and back to look at me.

“Eren….if that’s true….what do I _do_?” His voice actually _cracked_ at the last bit and I didn’t think I could hold out much longer.

“Jean…that jar…”

“…Yeah?”

“…It contained a million crushed centipedes, and it’s recommended as an excellent cure for stupidity.” I finished dramatically. “It is also well-known to be especially potent on persons whose names start with ‘J’. Here, in this scroll, it says ‘Step 1: Bathe in concoction. Step 2: Stand naked in the courtyard for a fortnight…”

The rest of my words were drowned out by Jean’s strangled yelling as he realized he had made a fool of himself. Laughing with mirth, I ran out of the room with my fingers still firmly clamped over my nose to avoid inhaling the smell of whatever dreadful liquid Jean had chosen to spill on himself.

“Eren! Get back here!” Jean yelled.

_As if._

Finding the wooden stairs down to the next floor, I jumped down the last few stairs, not waiting for Jean to catch up to me. Still grinning, I sprinted down the nearest hallway to find the part of the castle I was familiar with - and I knew it was being cleaned by Armin and Mikasa.

I found them not too soon, and I think they were as pleased to see me, too.

We all moved to the courtyard where we recovered from a hearty laughing session once I told them what had happened with Jean. We were taking a break from cleaning all day anyway, and it’s not like we were going to be reprimanded – so long as we got the job done.

“I figured cleaning the whole place takes a few days atleast,” Armin nodded, once I had told him about my morning cleaning. “We ran into Connie and Sasha earlier too. Sasha was dropping crumbs faster than Connie could clean.”

I snorted aloud – _typical Sasha._

It was strange realizing how well we all knew each other now that we had made it through training and living together.

“Eren…weren’t you supposed to help find scrolls for Hange?” Armin spoke up sharply, suddenly remembering that I wasn’t really supposed to be there.

 “Ah!” I exclaimed, scrambling up to my feet. “I better get back.”

Promising to catch them over dinner, I hurried to get back to the attic. Sure enough, making my way down had been easy, but now I was completely and thoroughly lost while trying to make my way _up_. And of _course,_ I was in the one part of the castle with no people. _Perfect._

I was getting tired of climbing stairs and walking down hallways – and I wasn’t getting anywhere. Reaching the bottom of a staircase somewhere (as I was completely lost at this point), I sat down, finally giving up.

Sighing heavily to myself, I ran my hands through my hair. My fingers touched my dusty headscarf instead. I didn’t realize I had been wearing it all day, so I pulled it off, smoothing it out and folding it. It helped me collect my thoughts.

Yes, I would go back downstairs, as it seemed to be most efficient, and I seemed to have better luck moving downwards. Then I would find someone to give me directions. Yes. I could manage that much. I straightened, giving myself a mental pat on the back. I stretched my muscles, feeling myself relax now that I had a planned course of action.

Mind made up, I started walking, turning the corner sharply and purposefully.

And promptly ran into what seemed like a wall, a sharp pain blossoming in my chest and stomach. The force of the collision threw me backwards, where I landed messily on my behind.

“The _hell_?”

I stopped breathing.

The _extremely_ irritated voice resonated in the confined space again.

“Watch where the hell you’re going!”

“…”

I had no air left in my lungs. Air. I needed air.

“Oi. I’m talking to you!”

The sharp click of boots was followed by a painful throb within mine. The owner of the voice had kicked me in the foot. _Rude._

When I didn't respond at all, the voice now turned more concerned. “Oi, are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?”

The short figure now crouched next to my prone figure, bringing his face closer to mine.

Finally, I could take in a short breath. And then I instantly took more, breathing in the precious air.

Except now that left me panting like I had just run a few miles.

This wasn't helping me at all though – the pain in my chest only grew thrice the size. I wasn’t expecting this. I mean, I _was_ , but not like this. After so long, and _his_ face was so close to mine…

_Levi._

 

***      ***      ***

 

_“Levi.”_

“That’s _Captain_ Levi to you,” Levi barked irritably.

The kid drew in a sharp breath, it seemed like he didn’t realize that he had said Levi’s name out loud.

Levi sighed. There were children running into him in the corridors now. And unable to move - was he starstruck? And this one looked so young. No doubt belonging to the bunch of new ones that had joined the Survey Corps a few days ago. Levi hoped the kid knew what he had signed up for. The rumours about the Survey Corps were scary, but true. If the kid had joined despite the rumours, he was incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. Unfortunately, Levi had seen more of the latter, and right now, it seemed to be the case as the kid just stared at him with no response.

Levi looked at this particular brat more closely in case he had _really_ hurt him when they had run into each other, but it looked like he was fine…

But he was still breathing abnormally fast – and with Levi’s experience on the field, it was usually because a soldier was hurt, and fast and hard breaths were common then.

“Can you move?” Levi extended a hand to help pull the kid up. When the kid didn’t take his hand, Levi sent a sharp glare in his direction, looking at him in the eye.

“If you’re not hurt, get up. Look kid, I don’t have all day…”

But the sharp snap in his voice left him as his eyes finally made contact.

Levi was mesmerized. A flood of memories came rushing back, and Levi looked away so quickly that his neck cricked.

_Damn this kid has nice eyes._

“Get up,” Levi tugged at his hand, not really looking at anything anymore.

The kid got up to his feet, and Levi picked up his spilled scrolls he had been carrying before the kid ran into him. Without another word, Levi kept walking, down the hallway. He had almost made it to the next stairwell, when he heard loud, thumping boots. Levi didn’t have to turn to look to know who it was.

“Wait!” the voice belonging to the kid was young, but rough. Levi kind of liked it.

“What.”

Levi continued walking on, not really waiting.

“I- I’m lost…can you t-tell me how to get to the courtyard…” The kid’s voice faltered at the end. Levi rolled his eyes, still with his back to the kid.

“Just follow me,” he prompted.

They went down two floors in silence. The kid hurried to keep up with Levi’s quick pace; as a result, there was a big distance between them the whole time. Finally, just before reaching the ground floor, Levi pointed to a stairway leading off to the right.

“That way.”

Levi swiftly turned down another corridor, and left the kid there standing alone.

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

Eren blinked.

In a daze, I had followed the instructions, finally reaching my destination. I still didn’t quite understand what had just happened. Finding the first seat in the courtyard, I plopped down, my legs weak. I didn’t think those could support me anymore. I slowly took deep breaths, massaging my face with my palms at the same time.

_Did I just imagine all of that?_

I stopped rubbing my face and looked at my hand. The warmth from his hand still lingered from the time I had been pulled up off the floor.

_I was walking. Then I had run into him…._

My breathing quickened again. I mean, I knew he was a Captain in the Survey Corps, and now I was in the Survey Corps, so of _course_ he would be here too!

It made sense. It made sense….then why was I shaking? It didn’t make sense.

I looked at my hands. Sure enough, I could see them shaking imperceptibly. Non-stop. Staring at them didn’t help, my hands just shook harder. I quickly wrapped my arms around myself, moving them up and down as if that would make it go away. It didn’t.

I now drew up my feet into myself, wrapping my arms around my legs. I found slight comfort in burying my face in between my chest and legs, but I could still feel myself shaking.

“He’s here…” I muttered. “ _Here_. He’s _here_. He’s _actually_ here.”  
And why wouldn’t he be? He was in the _Survey Corps_ for goodness sakes. I had _met_ him before, and he had _told_ me about his role as Captain in the Survey Corps. He had _told_ me about Petra, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther. _So of course he would be here._  

Sure, it had been strange finally meeting the people I had been told about so long ago, and it had been funny how his description had largely failed to grasp their real quirks. But then again, he himself had been a strange one, and it made sense that he had described them as he saw them. I had realized only after meeting Eld that my assumption of him had been based off of what Levi had told me before.

And now I realized a key fact - as my body shook harder and harder, and the pain within my chest blossomed into a stronger, harder, pounding force; merciless and unyielding.

I had realized something - and I now knew what was bothering me.

 

 

 

_He didn’t recognize me._

 

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM! Now I need to go write up this next chapter....will update next week! :D


	13. The Lady Erin and Soldier Eren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally mustered the courage to do a small piece from Levi's POV! It was tough, but I hope you enjoy! :D

***      ***      ***

 

“Eren? What are you doing here? It’s past time for dinner.”

Armin squinted at the hunched figure in the semi-darkness. It  _was_  Eren…wasn’t it?

“Eren? Is that you?”

He cautiously approached closer to the huddled mass.

“Eren?”

The figure reacted violently, snapping its head up all too quick.

“Waah! Don’t scare me like that, Eren!”

Eren just stared at Armin, eyes wide.

“Ar..min?” his voice was weak. 

“Eren? What’s wrong?” Armin was by Eren’s side in a flash. “Have you been crying? You  _have!_  What happened? Are you alright?”

Eren blinked, trying to recover from the barrage of questions.

“I…I just…I….”

Armin stared. He had never seen Eren like this, struggling with words and looking like he was about to cry again. Eren was always full of energy, burning passionately in everything he did. It made him uneasy, seeing Eren like this. So he made his way to sit at Eren’s side, and without a word, pulled Eren into a sideways hug.

Eren let out a surprised squeak but made no move to remove himself from Armin; instead relaxing into the hug. Armin let out a small smile and pulled the taller boy more into his shoulder.

“You know I’m here for you Eren. We all are. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. But I just want you to know…if you need someone to talk to….we’re here for you.”

Eren said nothing, but Armin understood.

“Come on, I saved you some dinner. Mikasa is probably worried you skipped dinner.”

Eren’s next words were so quiet Armin almost missed it.

“...Thank you…”

“You’re welcome, Eren.”

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Eren_ **

 

“WHAT? You saw Captian Levi??”

“SHHH!!! Keep it down, Armin!” I glared at Armin, sushing him furiously.

It was shortly after lunch, and we were given two hours of free time to do as we pleased since we had all satisfactorily completed our morning duties.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t be so surprised. This is Survey Corps headquarters and Captain Levi is in the Survey Corps, of course. So go on…”  
“I was trying to find my way back up to the attic room and I got lost. I ran into him on one of the corridors, and he helped me up. We-…h-he looked at me…but he didn’t look like he knew who I was…but he lead me back most of the way,” I finished.

Armin’s brow furrowed. He played with one of his longer strands of hair. I knew not to say anything at times like this. It meant he was thinking, and it wasn’t wise to disturb him.

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. Since that night that I had run into Captain Levi, Armin hadn’t pressured me to say anything. A few days later, I finally had the resolve to bring it up to Armin, and it felt  _good_  to finally let it all out. I had implored Armin not to tell Mikasa – I remembered she hadn’t been fond of the Captain back then, and she would probably get all worked up if I told her about this. As much as I cared about her, I didn’t want her to know…just yet.

Armin was still thinking, so I leaned on my hands behind me on the grass. We had comfortably stretched out on the ground under a shady spot, and the weather was nothing to complain about. It felt good telling Armin everything. If anything, he was the smartest person I knew, and my best friend. I hated keeping anything from Armin, especially something like this.

The breeze felt nice so I relaxed, my eyes closing in the process.

“You’ve changed, Eren.”

I opened my eyes just as I had about to go into a relaxed stupor. I turned my head to catch Armin’s eyes staring fiercely into mine. Surprised, I sat up straight to listen to him.

“What do you mean I’ve changed?”

Armin’s eyes now bored more powerfully into mine. It was actually unsettling, in a way. I’ve never had Armin staring so intently at me before.

“Stand up,” Armin said suddenly.

“Huh?”

“I said, stand up!”

Slightly taken aback, I scrambled to follow his instructions. There was a commanding edge in his voice I had never heard before. Somewhere in my head, I wondered if I had always underestimated his capacity to be commanding since he always seemed so meek…anyway, this could wait till later, because Armin was now issuing me something more outrageous.

“Take off your shirt.”

“WHAT!?”

“You heard me. Your shirt. Take it off.”

“Armin! What the hell? We’re outside! P-people are looking!”

Armin seemed to snap out of it then (much to my relief), and considered the situation.

“Ah, you’re right. Alright, let’s find an empty room inside.”

And with that, Armin got up and started walking inside. With no chance to protest I scrambled to follow him. Not too soon, he ushered me inside what looked like an unused office with a few scattered chairs and a desk inside. I heard Armin close the door behind me, but what made me turn around was the sound of the latch bolting the door in place.

“Why’d you lock the door for?”

“We’re going to continue what we were doing,” Armin said firmly, dragging over a chair. He faced the chair around, and sat on it with feet on either side, resting his elbows and chin on the backrest. “I don’t want to be disturbed.”

Slightly taken aback at this side of Armin, I hesitantly followed his orders. I knew he would have a reason behind his crazy requests. Not that I minded taking off my shirt – we had all lived together for long enough to be shy over something like this.

“Turn around slowly,” Armin ordered once more.

I did, feeling slightly foolish. What on earth was I doing?

“Okay, wait, stop,” said Armin. My back was faced to Armin, so I couldn’t see him. After what seemed like an eternity, he told me to face him again.

I turned to find him madly scribbling away at a piece of scrap paper, his tongue sticking out of his mouth in one corner.

“Armin, what-”

“Be quiet for a minute.”

I shut up.

Whatever Armin had to do, it seemed important, so I chose to listen to what he asked me to do for now.

“Okay, I’m finished. You can put your shirt on again.”

Feeling relieved, I reached for my shirt cast aside. I brushed the dust from it and walked over to Armin, buttoning up my shirt in the process.

“Pull up another chair,” Armin said, moving his chair over to the desk. I quickly did so, expectantly looking at Armin.

Armin took in a deep breath, and exhaled through his nose. He locked his eyes with me once more, giving me that unsettling stare.

“Armin, what’s going on?”

“Eren…I think I know why he didn’t recognize you.”

I was stunned into silence. “What…? How…?”

Armin sighed. “This isn’t going to be easy to explain. First of all, it’s how much you’ve changed. I didn't realize it until now, but it hit me just earlier.”

“What? What are you talking about? I haven’t changed at all!” I shouted indignantly.

“Keep it down! And yes, you have. You just haven’t realized it,” Armin stated simply. I stared at him, thoroughly confused.

“Let me explain. First of all, I’ve had you take off your shirt to capture your current body,” he said, flipping over the scrap piece of paper he had been scribbling on before. I leaned over to see that he had done a fine sketch of me, from the top of my head to my knees, from the back. I was surprised to see thick, toned muscles lining my back and shoulders. I hadn’t looked in a full-length mirror since I had left home, so this was the first time I could ‘see’ myself from the back.

“How accurate is this?” I asked, marveling at the sketch.

Armin snorted. “I’m a scholar, Eren. It’s my duty to make detailed observations. Now stop being distracted by yourself. Look, this is you from the front.”

He pulled out another paper from underneath the first to reveal another sketch of me. This, I was familiar with – it was my own front. Chiseled pectoral muscles, all eight abdominal muscles clearly visible, and absolutely  _nothing_  out of the ordinary. Armin had taken some green ink and dabbed it in where my eyes would be - it definitely was a good sketch of me.

“Yes Armin, I see that’s me…”

“No, you  _don’t_  see!” Armin said with a snappy edge in his voice that I had never heard before.

“You don’t  _see_ , Eren, that’s the thing! You see yourself so frequently on an everyday basis, which is why you  _didn’t_  see!”

I stared back at Armin, not understanding.

Armin seemed to realize that he wasn’t getting through to me. He quickly grabbed another piece of paper, spilling some ink as he did another quick sketch.

“Look here,” he said moments later, shoving yet another sketch at me. This time, it was a girl with long hair in a dress. The dress was very voluminous, reminding me of the ones I used to wear as a lady. The dress Armin had drawn even had a large bow placed on the hip, which was a similar feature as that of my own favorite dress….

_Hang on a minute!_

“Armin, is this me in a dress?” I asked hesitantly. He nodded enthusiastically, with a smile so wide I swear could split his face in half.

“So…this is me in a dress. And  _this_  sketch is me as I am now. I don’t get this, they’re both me, what’s so different here?” I asked Armin, my eyebrows knitting together. Armin was very smart at times, but I always felt like I was a million miles behind him in thinking, and felt no different now. I tugged both sketches close to me, staring at it intensely as if that would magically reveal its secrets.

Armin let out a frustrated groan.

“Eren! That’s the point! You've changed a lot, and since Mikasa and I have always been with you, it's impossible to notice anything since we see you all the time. But for others, the effect is very different. See when you were wearing a dress,” he pointed, “you always wore a corset to go with it, remember?”

I nodded, everything a vivid memory.

“It really hugs your figure on top,” Armin continued, “And your dresses used to be tailor made to fluff out at the bottom, and your legs were never visible. On top, if I recall correctly, you used to have enough padding in your chest to stuff a Christmas chicken too.”

“Armin!” I yelled, blushing furiously. I did  _not_  need to be reminded of  _that!_

Armin grinned, but went on. “And you were forbidden from any strenuous exercise, and your diet was well controlled. With me so far?”

I nodded.

“So all of that work that went into your diet and what you wore was to make sure you kept your figure as a lady. You were very slim. You weren’t muscular, which would have given you away as a boy. You ate nothing that would give you any hair growth, and your figure was artificially controlled with corsets and dresses to maintain the illusion of a lady,” he finished. I nodded, finally starting to understand.

“Since then, when you joined as a recruit, your body has been put through vigorous training. You’re  _completely and utterly_  different in the physical sense. Your chest muscles have filled in, and your clothes are now loose but show your muscles through the fabric. No one would think that you actually used to pass as a true Lady,” Armin smiled. “Also, you’ve _really_ tanned.”

“I have?” I asked, pulling back my sleeve to stare at my own familiar skin.

Armin nodded.

“You used to have very pale skin, but now, you’ve tanned significantly more.”

Realization dawned on me slowly.

“Essentially, unless someone knew you as well as Mikasa or I, you would be unrecognizable.”

The weight of those words started sinking in. I stared at the sketch of the lady again, believing Armin more and more by the minute.

I looked down at my clothed, uniformed self. It was undeniable – anyone could tell they were looking at a man. Armin was right, I had never noticed, but now I sported an especially dark tan. Our training had mostly occurred outdoors and I had grown darker without realizing; the strain of the training had me put on a fair bit of muscle weight.

As a Lady, I vividly recalled always being shut in the mansion, only stepping out when I had attempted to sneak out a few times. I had always stayed indoors or on the manor grounds, and Mina had fussed over letting me stay out in the sun for too long.

I looked at the sketch again and realized that no one had  _actually_  ever doubted of my “Lady Erin” guise.

“As I say, Eren, you did a good job. Or I should say your maids certainly did. They always made sure nothing was short of perfect on your guise. Every hair was perfectly tucked in, every detail of your dress, makeup, hair…”

I nodded, understanding.

“If anyone knew the  _Lady_ Erin, they would have no doubt she was a lady of the finest sort. No offense, Eren, but your short messy hair now, strong tan, hotheadedness, and brute behaviour is no comparison to her.”

“Br-brute behaviour!?” I choked.

“Well, the way you argue with Jean…”

“It’s not my fault Jean is an asshole-”

“And you just proved my point,” Armin said pointedly. “Anyway, I think this makes sense. Connie once came very close to guessing, but in the end, he figured there was  _no way_  you could be her.”

I raised my eyebrows at Armin.

“Connie? Are you joking, Armin?”

“As a matter of fact, I am not. But I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Your secret is well guarded, and there are very few ways you could be found out. However, Lady Erin’s identity is always available to you if you choose to go back-”

I took in a deep breath before cutting Armin off.

“I told you and Mikasa before, I don’t intend to go back.”

“Then why were you hoping for the Captain to recognize you?”

“That’s-”

_I don’t know._

“You’ve truly resolved to throw away Lady Erin, yet you’re having a hard time letting go of her when Captain Levi is mentioned-”

“I know, Armin! I know that,” I said with my bottom lip caught between my teeth, “But now that you've convinced me that I would be hard to recognize-I’m actually relieved, you know. I’m  _really_  relieved that I can leave the past behind – because the Lady I was back then was just a caged bird.  _She_  doesn’t exist anymore.  _I_  do.”

When Armin didn’t say anything, I continued.

“That means now I can continue on my own terms. I have something I’m trying to reach. So I’d rather not have  _anyone_  find out about me.”

Armin nodded, letting a small smile pass his lips. “I’m sure Mikasa know this already, but you’d better tell her about this, in case.”

“…She’s going to flip when she hears about Captain Levi…”

“No offense Eren, but I’m really happy I’m not you at times like this…”

“…”

Someone chose the moment to knock on the door, loudly. It sounded impatient. Armin rushed to open the door, finding himself face-to-face with Jean.

“What are you two doing _?_ ” he asked suspiciously.

“None of your business,” I snapped.

“I think it  _is_  my business. I’ve been sent to find out what happened to you two. While you’ve been sitting your asses here, we’ve all assembled and started our afternoon duties. You two better be ready to explain yourselves.”

I gulped, slipping a sideways glace to Armin.

Armin let out an angelic smile to Jean. 

“Eren just wasn’t feeling too well, Jean. I had him lie down for a bit,” Armin lied easily. I smirked internally- it was also at times like this I felt blessed to have such an amazing friend. Who would doubt that angelic smile and sweet words of his? We brushed past a startled Jean, but he still sent me a suspicious glance.

I rolled my eyes, sticking out my tongue at him childishly on my way out.

 

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

 

I sometimes marveled at my own ability to live with these idiots. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of my nose in annoyance. I had definitely  _not_  just seen a large cobweb in the corner of the ceiling in the corridor on the way to Erwin’s office. And there was filth in the corner, too. Granted, I had taken one of the less-used routes, but I had forced Erwin to include cleaning this dump as one of the mandatory chores for a good  _reason._

I wondered which unfortunate idiot had forgotten to clean this place thoroughly – whoever they were, I was going to find out, and they were in for a not-so-good ending. It might have been one of those rookies- they usually thought they could get away with doing a half-assed job. Well, they were about to find out the hard way, because whatever I had in store for them would be less than pleasant. It better not be that brat from earlier with his distractingly large eyes-

I stopped in my tracks. Shaking my head, I let out a grunt of frustration.  _Not now._

It looked like I needed to clean this place myself, because clearly, I couldn’t trust idiots to do the job.

I quickened my pace to Erwin’s – I didn’t like to  _run_  in the corridors, that was for children.

I arrived at Erwin’s office not a moment too soon and slammed the door open. He looked up at me unflinchingly behind a large stack of papers.

“Right on time, Levi. I have a new job for you.”

I walked up in a few quick strides to his desk and slammed the papers I was carrying down on his desk.

“And I have a job for you. You’re going to tell me which dim-witted scum decided that they were going to treat that east corridor like their personal breeding ground for spiders and allow the very existence of filth while I’m in the same building,” I snarled, giving him my best glare.

He looked at me impassively. I continued, not willing to stop.

“And you’re also going to remind  _everyone_  that anyone found shrinking their cleaning duties again will have to suffer a particularly painful lesson from me.”

Erwin raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't object, which was good for him. “Don’t be too harsh on them, Levi. You can get the cleaning roster from Mike. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to share. In the meantime, I want you to make these preparations for the next expedition…”

Later that night, I set about cleaning that particular corridor for myself. I couldn’t ignore filth while it was in my space, and I wasn't going to wait around for a few more days for this to be cleaned - I was going to get rid of it  _now._

Soon, I made short work of the corridor. Satisfied, I moved to clean the rooms lining the corridor. The second room looked to be an unused office, where a slight layer of dust had settled over everything.

Pulling on my face mask again, I began cleaning. Two of the chairs around the desk looked recently used, and papers and an ink spill marked the table.

Grabbing the papers, I began scrubbing the ink from the desk, when the sketch on the paper I was holding caught my eye.

I slowed my scrubbing hand, bringing up the paper to take a closer look. I could tell it was a rushed sketch, but it was a nice one nevertheless.

The roughly sketched lines of a lady in a dress lay upon the page, and she looked –  _happy_  somehow. Oddly, the dress looked sort of familiar…but then again, I had been to plenty of parties this past year no thanks to Erwin, and all those ladies had ridiculous dresses with bows and gaudy jewelry lining them. But this one spelled simple and elegant, and I somehow found my hand slow even more while scrubbing and come to a complete stop. 

_The art was nice. Yep, that was it._

Now slightly curious about the artist, I turned the paper over to find a name or signature but found none. That revealed another similar sketch underneath – this time, of a man’s bare back. So the artist had done other sketches, too. Maybe this one would have a signature- and I eagerly turned the paper over to be disappointed once again. But flipping this sketch now revealed a third sketch underneath – I clicked my tongue – if they’d had so much time to sketch, they clearly would have had more than enough time to clean! Wait a minute, this artist better not be the one in charge of cleaning this place -

_No, just because they had used this room didn’t mean they had been in charge of cleaning it._

Humming out loud in agreement with my thoughts, I moved the papers to see the third and final sketch.

I was greeted with a sketch of what appeared to be the same man, but from the front. Well defined muscles lined his chest and abs, and I looked over the toned arms in slight appreciation. While everyone here was fairly fit, the look didn’t easily suit everyone; but it somehow looked perfect here. It was a rough sketch but it caught many defining features and messy hair. The artist had also taken the trouble to roughly fill in the eyes with green ink. A memory stirred up within the recesses of my head – but it was faint and faded soon.

Intrigued, I turned it over to be greeted with disappointment once more – not a single indication of the artist, or the subject. Well, subjects. I wondered who the lady sketched here was? There was no one like that here, so it might have been the artist’s lover, friend, or sister sketched from memory, perhaps?

Only slightly let down, I moved to throw the sketches of the man into the garbage, but without thinking, I took the sketch of the lady and set it aside to take with me later. I could always throw it out later. 

_Right?_

 

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddd....I'll update again next weekend! Thank you sooo much for reading this far again! ( ﾟ∀ ﾟ)


	14. The 527th Expedition

_**Eren** _

 

The great wooden gates to the western military encampment creaked open.

“Now commencing the 527th Scouting Expedition!”

My horse shook its head impatiently in anticipation. It seems like my horse understood my excitement, and it prompted me to grip the reins harder and squirm slightly on my mount. I looked straight ahead, eyes wide and taking in the scenery beyond.

“Move out!”

Commander Erwin’s voice carried clearly over everyone’s head, and the horses set off, galloping out of the gates in unison.

It really was a clear, sunny day for an expedition. I breathed the fresh air deeply, excitement mounting as I embarked on my very first scouting expedition.

A few minutes later, just like in training, we broke off in small groups and fell into formation. I had been paired with Connie for my group with one spare horse. The difficulty level of this scouting expedition wasn’t high, as it was the new recruits’ first mission. We had all been trained in the basics of scouting, flare signalling, and how the formation worked. The rest, we had been told, came with experience.

The goal was three days away, to document any new species of flora and fauna, and gather some live or dead samples. Even if no new discoveries were made, our route would be mapped. That would perhaps be the Survey Corps greatest contribution to living civilization. Our world was still barely mapped; not even a fraction seen. Civilization had started and ended, cities had been built around fertile lands and around abundant water sources. And the rest of the world had been left unexplored.

Shiganshina’s first known explorer, Ilse, had shown the world how wrong we had been to stop exploring. The Survey Corps had been built on Ilse’s legacy, and Commander Smith still relentlessly pursued the path to the unknown; with all of us willingly following.

I looked at my friends proudly, unable to believe the fact that they had joined willingly to see the world with me. This mission may be low-risk, but sometimes they were not. Sometimes, the parties would encounter vicious creatures in the wilds, and we knew nothing of their nature, except that they would target us as prey without a second thought. One of such creatures were the bloodthirsty wolf-dogs, and we all had been chillingly warned of their warning cries that could be heard miles away.

But we heard no such thing now; the warm sun beating down on us. The party progressed at a steady pace, and I lost myself in the pleasant feeling with the evergreen surroundings. Soon, we slowed pace and stopped for lunch, and were on our way again. It looked like we were steadily approaching our destination and had made fair progress for one day.

_At this rate, we might even reach our destination early…_

“Oi, shithead! Snap out of it, will ya?”

Annoyed, I looked to my right to snap at the voice that had disturbed my thoughts.

“What do you want, horseface?”

“Stop calling me that, you idiot. I have a name. And I’m making my report. ‘All clear on the west wing.’ Now move your ass.”

Giving him a glare, I nodded to Connie. “I’ll leave you with the horseface, then.”

Connie nodded, flashing me a grin. “I’ll leave it to you to deliver the report!”

I nodded back, pulling my horse away from Connie and Jean. This was a reporting system Commander Smith had come up with. Now relieved of my pairing with Connie, I spurred my horse ahead to catch up to the next group. This rotation system left me paired up with different people at different times of the day. I would pass on the report to the next group, and I would replace someone from that group. That ‘someone’ would then move on to pass on the report to the next group, and so forth.

_Now, if I was making a good pace, the next group should be coming into view soon…._

Bingo! I saw two people riding up ahead at a steady pace. One of them seemed to have soft blonde hair that fluttered in the wind, she was cheerfully making conversation with her partner. I could make out her partner nodding to her words now and then.

Now my heart was in my throat, and my palms were all sweaty.  _Shit._

Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I increased my horse’s pace until I pulled up evenly with them, and had to slow my pace again to match theirs.

“Reporting!” I called out. Both of them had already turned to look at me, and it took all my strength not to stutter.

”All clear on the w-west wing.”

_Shit. I stuttered._

Those silvery-grey eyes looked into mine, slight amusement passing through his features. He nodded to his partner, Petra, and pointed with his chin. Petra got the message and nodded, pulling away from us to deliver my report to the next group.

I gripped my reins tighter as if it was actually possible, and took in my situation.

We were alone. We were alone!

_WE ARE ALONE!_

I screamed in my head.

Well, technically, the rest of the Survey Corps were still around us, just slightly far away to be seen easily. I knew I would be pairing up with other people during the expedition, but I hadn’t expected being paired up with the Captain!

Giddy with joy, but also remembering our last encounter, I felt the slight smile fall off my face.

“You’re the lost kid, right?”

Startled, I looked to the side to catch him staring at me. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe again. This sure happened a lot around him…

“Y-yeah…”

An uncomfortable silence followed. I realized I didn’t know how to act around him anymore. It was strange, because I had spoken to this seemingly cold man and laughed with him, and….danced with him. I knew he was hard to read, but a really kind and adventurous person at heart. And now, he didn’t even know my name…

But I could change that. Right?

“Eren.”

I was greeted with silence.

Ok, maybe not. It was hard to tell because we were both moving on horseback, but I think I saw his eyes widen.

“My name. It’s Eren.” I tried again.

_Oh no. Did I make a mistake? Am I annoying him? I bet he really hates me now, trying to be friendly with him when he really doesn’t even know me…_

“I didn’t ask for your name.”

I opened my mouth in shock but nothing came out.

“But I knew someone with a name similar to yours.”

I gaped, my mouth now fully open. At this rate, I would be swallowing bugs whole if they flew into my mouth while I was galloping on horseback.

“Oh, r-really,” I said, feeling lame. “It’s a common enough name, I suppose.”

“She had your eyes.”

I nearly fell off my horse. Scrambling to grip my reins, I caught my breath, both from nearly falling and losing it. “Just lost my grip there a little,” I lied, when he looked at me with slight concern in his features. He nodded, seeming to believe me.

I cleared my throat and focused on my riding, staring straight ahead in an attempt to collect myself.

“She?” I started.

“That  _someone_  I knew with the similar name,” he clarified. “But she had a soft, gentle voice. Not coarse and brash like yours.”

I should be offended at that….right?

“Oh, I see,” I chose to say, staring straight ahead determinedly.

_He had remembered Lady Erin._

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

_**Levi** _

 

It was raining cats and dogs. Cursing internally, I drew my cloak around myself tighter.

_Tch. First day of the expedition and the weather goes to shit. It started out nicely enough…_

I groaned again internally, cursing our bad luck, because the weather started getting even worse. It had started getting cloudy after lunch, and it was mid-afternoon when Petra left my group to deliver the report. The lost kid from before with the brilliantly nostalgic eyes had taken her place. Why I had let Petra go to deliver the report, and not gone myself, I didn’t know. Anyway, the weather hadn’t cared, and soon after Petra had left, the clouds had started rolling in earnestly. It had started to drizzle a while later. That was when we had seen the red flare far up ahead – the signal to gather in a group and take shelter in the supply wagons until the rain had passed.

Both Eren and I had seen the flare and sent up our own, then picked up speed after a glance at each other. I was setting the pace; he followed. The red flare had been really far up ahead, and we were towards the back. We needed to hurry up and catch up to the groups in the front. No sooner than we picked up the pace, the rain started to fall. What seemed like  _seconds_  after, it started to  _pour_. We were soaked in seconds, looking like we had just taken a swim in the lake, gear and all. We rode on relentlessly, our view now obscured, mud splashing high on both sides. The flare had now disappeared, washed away by the rain, but I led us on, pointing my horse in the direction I thought the flare had come from.

Soon, it was plain to see we weren’t catching up to the group. In fact, we couldn’t see anybody. To be more precise, we couldn’t see  _anything_.

The rain pelted down in buckets, and I could feel my body heat being sapped away. I spared a quick glance at the kid and was surprised to see the determined look in his eyes still, keeping pace with me despite the rain. His hood had fallen back, not that it helped keep the rain away- and his hair was plastered to this forehead, water pouring off of his face in rivulets. I heard the distant clap of thunder, and focused my gaze up ahead. I still couldn’t see anyone. Or anything.

“Eren, stop!” I said.

I looked to my left again, but it appeared that he didn’t hear me through the pouring rain and splash of the horse hooves.

“Oi, Eren, STOP!” I yelled.

He heard me this time. I saw his eyes widen in confusion, looking at me for an explanation. We both slowed to a stop, and I brought my horse closer to his, trying to bring us closer so I could speak.

“We should have caught up to them by now. I think we missed them in the rain, it’s hard to see,” I said.

He nodded, understanding.

“What do we do?” he asked. 

_Good question, kid._

My instincts and experience kicked in. We were either lost, having thrown off course in the blinding rain, or we had shot past the group we were supposed to meet. It was still pouring buckets, and it was impossible to still see anything. There was the remote possibility that we  _had_  taken the right course and the group was waiting for us slightly up ahead. But quickly calculating mentally, we should have passed them by now at the rate we were riding. Either way, I knew we weren’t  _too_  far from the rest of the Survey Corps. It was just too damn impossible to see anything in this pouring rain. Staying out here in the rain wasn’t good, either. I was shivering already due to the cold, and I could see the kid visibly shaking, even though his features betrayed nothing.

At least he wasn’t complaining. I hated whiners.

But that didn’t change the fact that we were cold and we had to find shelter. Mentally racking up the map of the landscape around us, I tried to make a decision. The area within two days’ ride of civilization was already mapped. This expedition’s goal was to map the area after that, on the third day of the expedition, which would be thoroughly unmapped, and would be completely new territory.

Let’s see…based on the route we were taking on this expedition…and the pace at which we had traveled…hm…that would have brought us fairly close to a small woody area, but mainly rocky. We could try our chances there, because right now we had no chance of shelter in open flatlands.

“This way,” I prompted, turning my horse to the right. I looked behind to see if he was following.  _Good._

We still couldn’t see anything except for a few paces in front of us, but it was still a great relief when we passed by a massive tree. Quickly galloping to take shelter under it, we got our bearings. The tree didn’t offer much protection. The rain came in at such an angle that we were still getting wet thoroughly, even if not as bad as before. And we were still shivering and losing more body heat by the minute. My shaky shivers had turned to full out tremors, and I shook violently, trying to conserve any remnants of body heat.

I looked to the kid to find him the same.

But he was looking outward, his eyes narrowed on something.

“W-Wh-What a-are y-you l-looking at, k-kid?” I said, hating the loud clatter of my teeth.

“I t-think I see a c-cave.”

“W-What?”

“There.”

I was slightly surprised he managed to say some words without much chattering, and I stared at where he was pointing. Just beyond, I could see a dull grey outline of what seemed like an outcrop. And true to his word, I think I saw a dark hole in the middle. Suddenly, it was very likely it would be a cave.

It was still pouring like it would never rain again and water was everywhere. But now a small light of hope lit up within me – I wasn’t willing to count on it, but it was better than our current situation.

“I-I’ll go s-see,” I said, turning my horse to go there. I was surprised my violent shivering didn’t throw me off my horse.

“I-I’m coming too,” he said, turning his horse to follow mine. Under my stare, he shrugged. “I’m still getting wet standing here.”

I nudged my horse on to the direction of the cave, and what seemed like a small possibility became reality.

“Shit, it  _is_  a cave!” Dropping any pretense of finesse, I dismounted clumsily, yanking my horse towards the welcoming opening. It was actually large enough to fit both our horses. Glad to be out of the rain, I immediately threw off my cloak and jacket, and opened my supply bag quickly with shaking hands. Inside, everything was meticulously organized – just the way I had packed it. I found the oilskin bag in less than a second and grabbed the flint, trying to start a small flame with the supply of dry wood shavings. Hearing a clatter, I turned to find the kid had managed to find a few dry twigs and a part of a broken branch.

“Unbelievable, brat,” I muttered under my breath. He jerked his head up imperceptibly at that. Had he heard me? It didn’t matter, I was dying to get this fire going.

Shortly, I had taken off my clothes, pulling out the now-damp blanket from the horse. The leather carry-bag had managed to keep most of the water out. I squeezed a rivulet of water out of my hair, and turned around with the blanket in my arms to find the brat staring slack-jawed at me.

“What are you staring at? Don’t you know how to undress? You better get out of those clothes if you don’t want to be violently s-sick,” I snapped, glad I wasn’t chattering much. I draped the blanket around myself, which seemed to snap the kid out of his daydreaming.

“Y-yeah,” he muttered, scrambling to take off his clothes. He came to sit opposite the small flame, draped in an equally damp blanket as mine. We were still both shaking, and the rain continued outside. It didn’t let up in its intensity, and neither did the shaking. We had stationed the horses inside the entrance which helped against the wind and bringing in the rain.

A few minutes later, it became clear we weren’t any warmer, and the shaking just got worse.

“Oi. C-Come o-over…here,” I managed. I was cold, and the sound of the pouring rain outside didn’t help.

“H-Hurry up,” I prompted when he didn’t move.

He seemed to hesitate, which prompted me to narrow my eyes and glare. He scrambled to get up and stumbled over the side of the fire to sit next to me.

“Tch. Move closer,” I demanded, “And hurry up.”

After some scrambling and jerky movements, we were pressed up against each other. Getting annoyed, I yanked his blanket off of him, generating a squeak from him.

_How cute. Wait, what? This wasn’t the time!_

I lay both our blankets over the both of us, effectively wrapping us in a cocoon. His body was trembling next to mine. I reflected on this situation - this was just pathetic. Caught in the rain, forced to huddle and cuddle together with a kid just to stay warm. This expedition really couldn’t get any better, could it.

But our new positions seemed to improve our conditions significantly. Our body heat was no longer being lost to the outside, we were making good use of each other.

_And damn, this kid was like a furnace._

The shaking settled to a mild shivering. Soon, that faded away to the occasional light shiver, and eventually I was warm. The rain however, was incessant. It was still pouring like cats and dogs, and I really wondered if this was the last time it was ever going to rain, because it didn’t look like it was going to let up at all. Staring outside, I felt a damp tickle on my shoulder. Turning, I saw the kid had fallen asleep on my shoulder. Snorting, I nudged him awake.

“Oi. Don’t fall asleep now. When this rain lets up, we’re moving out to go meet the group.”

I celebrated internally for finally saying words that didn’t involve my teeth bashing together without my control.

He nodded and attempted to sit up straight.

“Tell me more about her.”

I froze, feeling every muscle in my body tense.

“Trying to not fall asleep here. So tell me a story instead. About the person with the similar name as mine.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said almost immediately. He seemed to shrink away from me then. With the blankets wrapped, there really wasn’t much room to begin with, so I felt him move away from me at that.

“I-I’m sorry.”

I looked to stare at him. He looked ashen, and slightly crestfallen. A strange feeling washed over me. Guilt.

I guess that’s what caused me to change my mind. Those eyes with the colour of the ocean just looked so sad.

“…It’s ok. I just- She was…different.”

Now it was his turn to turn and stare at me. Wait, why was I talking about this so easily? When I had promised myself not to think about this again?

“How so?” he asked.

I didn’t reply right away, taking the time to answer

“She was…so passionate in everything she did. She had so much spirit, like fire. And she was really caring. She even stood up for her own servant,” I chuckled.

I glanced at him to see a faint red in his cheeks. He must be still cold.

“She must have been…wonderful.”

“Like I said, she was different.” And with that, I added a finality to my tone which declared the subject closed. I wasn’t sure why I had decided to divulge on the one topic I usually avoided, and I wasn’t about to go any further. Sure, we had been forced into a small cave and we were pressed up against each other for heat and to live to see another day. But that didn’t mean I had to spill the beans on one of the many subjects I didn’t like to talk about.

A sort of comfortable silence fell on us, and I couldn’t help it – I was tired from the cold and rain. So we both fell asleep listening to the howling wind and constant roar of the storm around us.  
 

 

***      ***      ***

 

_**Eren** _

 

I couldn’t help it – I burst out laughing.

The Captain cocked one eyebrow at me in pure irritation. The storm was over, but  it had lasted through the night. I didn’t remember falling asleep – I must have been tired because I had woken up warm next to the Captain’s shoulders. I had done my best not to scream without much success, and woken up a  _very_  irritated Captain for the day. He had made me squeeze the water out of all our clothes as punishment for ‘nearly deafening his ear’.

And then, he had pulled out a shirt from the pile of clothes and put it on – only to realize later it had been three sizes too big for him.

I really couldn’t help it.

Between giggles, I waved my hand in front of my face. “Sorr-ha-ha-ha- sorry!”

It didn’t seem to sway his annoyance. I had to admit, he  looked absolutely adorable in my shirt which was too big for him.

_Wait- adorabl- wait, what? What the hell was my brain thinking?_

Giving my head a strong shake, I regretfully accepted my shirt back (or rather, it was thrown back on my face); where both of us proceeded to get dressed in silence.

Looking outside, it was as if the storm had never happened. Birds chirped nearby, and the sun beat down on a seemingly pleasant day.

“Let’s get going,” the Captain prompted, “We need to find the group, or they need to find us. I would rather not sit here and wait to be rescued.”

I completely agreed with his thoughts, mounting my horse to follow him out.

It turned out we had not been too far from the main group after all. They had tried sending a small party to look for us, but the storm had been too strong, and visibility had been poor. The search parities had been forced to turn around and seek shelter with the main group, while another two pairs like ours had been left to our own devices. However, the two pairs had managed to find each other, and one of the parties had been fortunate to carry around a temporary tarp shelter. I was luckly that we had somehow found that cave, or neither of us could have made it back.

“Eren! Are you ok?” Armin yelled and came running towards me.

“I’m fine. I’m just glad we found the group, Armin.”

A small smile graced his features. “Good. Mikasa was livid when she couldn’t find out where you had disappeared to. I’m really glad you’re alright.”

I nodded, smiling down at my best friend. He really was the best in situations like this.

I would be lucky if Mikasa  _didn’t_  kill me first when she found out that I gotten caught in the storm and forced to spend the night in a cave. Speaking of which, here was Mikasa now, a furious look on her features, walking straight towards me.

_Shit._

 

***      ***      ***

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad I could finally have some Levi moments! More to come next chapter too! :D


	15. The Children’s Past

**_Eren_ **

I backed away a few steps before Mikasa’s strong hands gripped my shoulders and shook me-her expression dissolving into relief and worry.

“Eren! Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? Are you cold? Do you feel ill?”

“Stop shaking me, I’m _fine_ -”

“You got caught in a _really_ bad storm, Eren. You’re lucky you weren’t exposed to it the whole night-”

“We found a cave. Captain Levi was there with me the whole time, I was fine.”

Her expression instantly darkened at the mention of his name, drawing a hiss from between her teeth. She let go of my shoulder, muttering under her breath.

“I’ll thank him _this_ time.”

“Huh?”

Armin looked nervously between us, as if expecting Mikasa to explode. When she didn’t, he turned to me looking relieved.

“Eren, you still haven't eaten, right? Let’s get some food.”

I enthusiastically agreed with Armin’s proposal, since I was absolutely starving and couldn’t wait to eat. Leaving Mikasa to go back to the front lines, we wandered over to one of the supply wagons. Marco and Horseface were there already, standing in line.

Catching sight of us, Marco cheerily waved, clapping me on the back once I’d joined them.

“Glad you’re still with us, Eren! Jean was so worried, he wouldn’t stop wondering what’d happened to you-”

“Shut up, Marco! Don’t you dare-”

I blinked. _Horseface?_ He was actually worried? No, absolutely not. Such a thing was impossible, Jean wouldn’t admit to actually caring about me because he cared about me as much as I did about him. Which wasn’t much. I think.

Armin elbowed me in the side, giving me a sly glance. I couldn’t help it- I let slip a small smile on my own, nodding at Marco.

“Thanks, Marco. You too, Horseface. Sorry for _worrying_ you.”

“Who’d worry about _you-”_

“WOLFDOGS!”

Marco, Jean, Armin, and I instantly turned around at the scream.

_What had happened?_

Armin’s eyes scanned the area wildly, and I could almost hear the gears turning inside his head.

Loud howls could be heard – the sounds were close. _Really_ close.

“What’s going on?” I heard Marco mimic my thoughts, but I was already drawing my blades at the ready.

“This is bad…” I heard Armin say out loud. “We’re not in a good position! The storm must’ve had the local wolfdogs out and looking for food once the rain stopped. We’re stationary targets for them right now, we need to get moving _now!_ ”

We didn’t need any more convincing and started to run. Since joining the Survey Corps and preparing for these expeditions, we had learned a thing or two about what to expect. We’d all been through an almost ‘secondary training’ – taking lessons in advanced survival, foraging, mapping, land and landmark recognition, water patterns, and educating ourselves in the varied flora and fauna. This meant we had covered most plant poisons and how to treat them (I can’t say I remembered very many); and most importantly, our natural enemies of the wild and how to avoid them.

Yes, _avoid_ them.

Since Commander Erwin Smith had taken over the Survey Corps, the focus remained on avoiding our nemesis instead of confronting them- losses had dropped significantly to the point where death on an expedition were few and far in-between. But wolfdogs were mean and vicious and we stood no chance against one of them single handedly. Each adult wolfdog could grow easily to the size of a horse. Needless to say, facing them head-on wasn’t anyone’s cup of tea who wanted to live to see another day.

Mentally, I summed up the few things I remembered about wolfdogs in my panicked state. One- they were _extremely_ fast on their feet, and outrunning them in small distances was next to impossible. Two- like other animals, they had an instinctive fear of fire, but everything was wet and damp from the storm, and it was unlikely anyone could conjure up a blaze in this short amount of time. Three- they didn’t have the stamina to run long distances. They stayed in large groups and marked certain small territories as their hunting grounds. When their food source would deplete, they would move to another area to hunt.

Unfortunately, it looked like Armin was right- we had unknowingly stopped for shelter in the midst of their territory. Now, the forty-two Survey Corps soldiers were sitting ducks while the wolfdogs had attacked.

“Get to your horses!” a veteran running alongside us yelled. "Everyone else is already on the move!" The warning was unnecessary since we already knew we had no chance on our feet – legs burning, I pumped them as fast as they would go.

I could see our horses – I turned to tell Armin the same – when I noticed he wasn’t there.

“Ar-min?” I gasped, lungs burning, while I slowed down and turned around, trying to see where he had gone.

_There!_

He was sprawled on the ground a little ways back, and he was struggling to get up. He must have tripped on something while running and it had probably sent him sprawling face-first into the ground. Without thinking twice, I sprinted back to him.

I slid to a stop next to him, barely able to form words.

“Are...ou…kay?” I managed, panting in-between breaths.

Armin nodded, wiping off the mud smeared across his nose.

“Just…fell,” he said, getting up on his knees. “Got my breath knocked out. I’m fine.”

I felt something unclench inside of me, probably relieved that he hadn’t broken anything.

Armin got up unsteadily on his feet and promptly collapsed on me, and I caught him by his waist, trying to hold him upright.

I sheathed both my blades to avoid them cutting into Armin and looked at him questioningly.

“Sorry,” Armin looked down at his toes. “I think I sprained my ankle.”

Without another word, I slung Armin’s arm over my shoulders. I started walking, Armin trying to follow on a limp. My eyes darted around the area, and I bit down on my lip nervously, noticing that we were the only two in sight now – the rest of the members were probably already on their horses, pulling away as we inched slowly towards our horses.

I could see them now – we were almost there –

 _Something_ made me glance back that instant – I don’t know what it was, but I’m glad I did. Unable to form any words, I did the only thing I could – I reacted.

I pushed Armin away from me with all my might – a surprised yell falling from his lips. I didn’t blame him, but what probably caused the next scream from Armin was the large _thing_ that had just missed us by mere inches.

It was _this_ that had made me push Armin away, because I had seen it bounding towards us in the distance, and it seemed to cover the large expanse in a matter of seconds, and it leapt in one, large jump – and would have pinned us to the ground.

It was large. And by one glance I could tell it wasn’t a fully grown one – probably a teenager. I shuddered to think of an adult –

_Holy Shit._

The wolfdog drew itself to its full height – and it was almost the size of a small horse. It dwarfed me and Armin easily – and now bared its teeth, eliciting a low growl from its throat. I spared a quick glance at Armin – he looked fine and was backing away on his elbows on the ground, but the movement drew the thing’s attention towards him.

Drawing both my blades without a second thought, I suddenly felt foolish for what I was about to do next.

_Goodbye, sweet and short life._

“Oi, you lousy beast! Yes, _you,_ you large, filthy, mangy cur!”

I gulped. Well, _that_ seemed to be getting its attention. Or maybe I just smelled like better breakfast. I didn’t know which- and both seemed to be shoving me towards a very bad end.

“Go!” I yelled. Armin looked confused, and it wasn’t helping my cause.

“Just go!” I screamed at him, making one last desperate eye contact with him. _“Please.”_

And with that, I turned and sprinted in the opposite direction, willing the creature to follow me and away from Armin. I barely registered Armin’s bright blue eyes widening in that final moment as I firmly shut off all emotion threatening to overtake me. This was probably the last time I would see him. There were still so many things I had wanted to do, so many things I had wanted to see with him. _Mikasa –_ she would be furious, and she would be sad, but she could handle it. _Mom-_ I choked up at the very thought of her – I missed her dearly. I had been so rash, so foolish, but it had been a good life. A short and good life.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to outrun the thing – even horses had a hard time outrunning one, what hope did I have? All I could do would be to draw it away from Armin and give him enough time to get to his horse somehow. In the meantime, I might not have much, but for what it was worth, I did have my blades, and I wasn’t about to let that thing take me so easily.

 _Time-_ it was all _time-_ I had to keep its attention on me for long enough, that even after I was dead, it would make sure to feed on me instead of going after Armin.

It was strange now – thinking about death when I was clearly in the face of it was so surreal.

Time seemed to slow, and I could feel the foul, hot breath of the creature against my neck. It had definitely followed me, and I breathed internally in relief – now it was just a matter of keeping its attention on me long enough. I felt rather than saw the creature make a dive for my neck. On instinct, I ducked, hearing the loud gnash of its jaws shutting tight around nothing but air.

I had somehow managed to survive this one, but the next one seemed inevitable. It would jump on me with all fours and pin me to the ground, where it would nicely snap my neck.

Still running and twisting my body around, I brought up my blades to slice at its paws just as they came thundering down on top of my head.

_Shit! The thing was heavy!_

The creature let out a loud yelp – and retracted its paws, but the force of its attack had thrown me back – my blades clattering uselessly to my side. I could see a trace of blood on them – but the thing now advanced more cautiously, and judging by the fact it was still on its feet, my blades had probably nicked it at best.

I scrambled backwards to grab my swords and stand up.

_This was it._

_And this was a joke._

We were facing each other like how two warriors would face off in a duel. Except this one was badly matched -

A giant wolfdog- vs. me, a puny human. I realize it wasn’t fully grown, but it was still – _big._

I drew a sharp breath, realizing for the first time how big it reallywas. One of those paws looked strong enough to take me out in one swipe. But before breaking into hysterics I remembered that I had actually managed to barely fend off two of its paws, so maybe, just _maybe_ I still had a chance.

Gathering my wits, I gripped my blades harder.

_I could do this._

I took in a deep breath, preparing myself for the next step.

_Calm down._

Armin’s words echoed through my head. It’s what he would always say. _“You’re too hotheaded, Eren. Calm down, take in the situation around you, your surroundings, your enemy.”_

_My enemy._

My eyes widened at the realization. I was so caught up with running away and scrambling to get the thing away from Armin, that I had never really properly understood my situation. And now that I did, it brought me hope.

Wolfdogs always traveled in packs, didn’t they? Even when they broke off during a hunt, they always supposedly did so in pairs or trios. But this one was alone. Literally.

_Why? Think, Eren, think!_

I mentally cursed my small brain of processing things any faster – why wasn’t Armin here when I needed him?

The thought lashed out to me like freezing water being dumped on me on a cold winter’s day.

_He’s not here. You’re on your own. Now think!_

The wolfdog.

Packs.

Lonely.

Pairs.

But lonely.

Lonely.

Reasons a wolfdog would be lonely…cast away?

Isolation?

But why...

Why?

Wolfdogs prided their fur.

Also shape.

Body shape – _of course!_

My eyes widened instantaneously at the realization and scanned to find the offending member of said creature. I had been so intent on running away and avoiding looking at the actual _thing_ itself!

I found it instantly –it was the hind leg, on the left side. It was twisted awkwardly and lay at an angle. It seemed healed though – so it must have been born with a bad leg. No wonder it had been cast out by its group – it looked hideous on the already hideous looking creature. True to wolfdog nature, it had been isolated by its own kind, leaving it to fend for itself. I would feel bad for it if not for the fact that it had attacked me and Armin–luckily its friends had yet to arrive.

That horrible-looking hind leg looked weak and unused. No wonder it took its time catching up to me when I was running. All I had to do was to aim for its weak leg. Hopefully it would incapacitate it enough to render it immobile.

The creature seemed to waste no more time thinking as it pounced. I ceased all thinking as well, diving forwards. My swinging blade seemed to meet some resistance (I think), and I turned around to catch a glimpse of red on the creature’s hind paw.

_I had somehow connected._

The creature now let out a bone-chilling howl, accompanied with a growl. It made my blood run cold, the noise sharp and grating against my very bones, my mind silently screaming for me to run. But I couldn’t. 

Now I just had to do it again. My luck couldn’t possibly hold out any longer. It would catch up to my in no time, and worse, go after Armin. I desperately hoped he had gotten on the horse by now and long gone.

_Come on!_  I willed myself, forcing my legs to put one foot in front of the other. _Come ON!_

Another feral growl, and the wolf was breathing on my neck. I hadn’t been able to dodge this time – it had been insanely fast despite its injured hind leg. But I had managed to wedge a blade in-between its teeth, which barely kept the sharp things away mere inches from my neck. Its front paws were on my body, effectively pinning me into place.

Its sharp, rotting breath assaulted my nose and threatened to overwhelm my senses. It continued its snarls and growls, increasing in intensity as it found itself unable to find purchase on my neck, having been blocked by my sword. Instead, it resorted to digging its claws into me, drawing a scream from my throat.

I increased the pressure on my blade, hoping to cause as much pain to the thing as possible as well, before it finally snapped its jaws around my neck.

“AUGHH!”

I couldn’t help it – the second scream ripped from my throat before I had realized it – the creature had dragged its claws over my body in a vain attempt to get me to dislodge my blade from in-between its teeth.

_Which was not happening in this lifetime, no sir._

I grit my teeth through the pain, willing myself to keep my blade in place.

But this couldn’t go on- I could feel the stabbing pain intensify across my chest and stomach, and it seemed only to grow stronger, like wood to fire. I vaguely remembered something about some toxins in their claws used to incapacitate their prey – but I was as good as dead anyway, so it didn’t matter.

My struggling elbow connected with my second blade discarded to the side – but both my arms were sorely focused on keeping its jaws away.

Calling upon the last dreads of my strength, I gave way with one arm to grab at the blade. Finding leeway, the wolfdog wasted no time in making the lunge towards my throat- just as I managed to jam the other blade between its front legs.

It let out a deafening yelp – clearly of pain.  It jumped back now, a low growl spilling from its teeth.

But this was a different growl. It was hurt- it was wounded – and it was dangerous, more than ever. I saw a glint in its eyes that couldn’t be described as good, as I struggled to find purchase on my feet. The world swayed slightly – must be the toxin from those claws. I was definitely seeing red. I gripped both blades, wishing the world goodbye one last time.

If I didn’t think it could get any worse – it just did then.

Two more of its companions appeared, low growls spilling from their throats.

I was done for.

Two of them lunged at me simultaneously, and I threw up my blades in front to slash at anything and everything.

They smelled absolutely foul. Their fur was filthy, and I barely registered a heavy clawed paw swatting at me, my blade missing it by inches. I was sent flying, all breath knocked out of me.

The ground was cool and solid beneath my face. I inched my fingers in the mud, trying to regain possession of the blade that had once again been thrown from my hands.

Taking deep, shuddering breaths, I saw their forms lunge at me again, as I tried to grip my blades in one last stand.

Then the world went dark.

  

***      ***      ***

 

 

The rain fell heavily around the small log cabin.

Shoulders drenched, Eren’s little shoulders shook as he made to knock on the door in front of him. A man opened the door, a stranger. But Eren knew otherwise. This wasn’t a man. It was a monster. It had killed the little girl’s parents. Eren swiftly brought out the hidden knife behind his back and sliced into the monster's neck, ending the monster’s life. As the monster’s body fell, he saw the figure of a little girl lying prone on the wooden floor. She was alive, then. He would rescue her soon.

 

Everything after that passed in a blur.

“This is the work of two children? That’s unbelievable!” Eren overheard someone in the Military Police say later. Eren didn’t need to believe it. He knew.

“They weren’t human beings,” Eren told his father as they were standing around a small fire outside the same log cabin. “They were monsters, dad. They were monsters!”

Dad understood, he said. It was a stupid move, and dangerous, but he was proud, he said.

But now Mikasa didn’t have a home.

“Your home is with us now,” Grisha said.

Wrapping Mikasa up tight in his red scarf, Eren had smiled, small and shy, grabbing on to Mikasa's sleeve. Mikasa's little hands followed willingly, and Eren managed another small smile back at his new foster sibling.

“But this situation is dangerous,” Grisha said. “It mustn’t be found out that you two are actually part of the Yeager family now. It would cause untold damage, especially since the family is a cornerstone for peace arrangements. This sort of incident must be kept secret. Do the both of you understand?”

Little Eren and Mikasa nodded, not fully understanding.

“I’ve already told the soldiers some fake names for the both of you. But it would be highly suspicious if its discovered that two children – a boy and an oriental girl were involved in this, and then the next day, an oriental girl is adopted into the Yeager family. It would raise questions. You two must understand, but this is for your own good.”

Again, both Eren and Mikasa nodded, eager to please their dad, but not truly understanding.

“Good children. Now let’s go home, and mother will tell you more about this.”

It turned out, mother’s explanation didn’t make any more sense than dad’s. Eren just nodded, agreeing with whatever mother was telling him.

“Violence is not good. Especially not for a little Lady. “

“ _Lady?”_

“Yes, Lady, weren’t you paying attention, Eren? I mean, Erin. You’re Erin now, you understand?”

A confused nod.

“Okay, little Lady, these clothes of yours need to be thrown out.”

_“Why?”_

“It doesn’t do a Lady to wear such unbecoming clothes like trousers and shirts. Bring in the dresses!”

At her word, the servants poured out of the room with all Eren’s old clothes in tow. New dresses arrived, with rows and rows of petticoats, evening wear, nighties, dresses for tea, dresses for outings, dresses for occasions, formal dresses-

“But _mother_ , I’m a _boy-_ ”

“Hush, Erin. What did I tell you?”

A small bite of the lips, and the little fingers fidget.

“I’m supposed to be- a girl from now on. Even though I’m a boy. No-one must know.”

“That’s right. This is for your own good. Goodness knows even being a lady might snap you out of your hotheaded tendencies! Ah, yes, that _would_ be nice. Imagine, our own little elegant Erin, all dressed up in the finest silks-”

“ _Mother-_ ”

“Ah yes, sorry. Where was I? Oh yes, and Mikasa will learn how to wield the sword and become a fine gentleman. She’ll- I mean, _he’ll_ be strong, and learn how to defend himself as well. I won’t doubt his abilities if he’s being trained by me.”

“But mother, what about _me_? _I_ want to learn the sword!”

“Sush, Erin. You’re now a lady. You’re not to practice the sword. Mikasa is now a lord, he can do what he pleases.”

“But Mikasa is a girl, mother!”

A sigh.

“I _know_ , dear. But this is for the good of both of you. Those thugs that killed her parents undoubtedly were working for _someone_. They are bound to find out soon who killed their friends and come after two children matching your description! You must be hidden away in plain sight, and what better way than this?”

Eren looked up at her confusedly.

His mother smiled, a small and sad smile. She slowly pulled Eren in for a tight hug and raised her hand to pat her son’s head.

“It’s alright, dear. To me, you’ll always be my little Eren.”

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

 

The kid opened his eyes with such force, it almost took me by surprise. He had been laid down in one of the slightly roomy supply wagons, and I rode alongside, waiting for him to awake and make sure he was alright.

He blinked, squinting at the bright sun, eyes trying to focus. He seemed to scan his surroundings, finally closing them tightly shut again. I furrowed my eyebrows slightly in concern at his behaviour.

“ARMIN!” he screamed suddenly, bolting upright, his eyes wide and scanning furiously. “Is he okay? Where am I? What happened to – what happened to _them_?”

I furrowed my eyebrows in annoyance this time.

“Those things are dead, kid. Calm down.”

His eyes found mine, seeming to calm down at my glare. Which was unusual, because most people would cower and start whimpering. The kid had guts to keep staring at me, atleast.

“Captain…Levi?”

“…That’s me.”

“Wh-what happened? What do you mean they’re dead? How?”

I sighed, turning to face forward. Here came the questions. I should’ve never have seemed so inviting of his questions and just left him when he woke up. I was only here to make sure he was okay. Why did I stay around for so long? And now look, I was here stuck answering his questions.

“Your friend Armin is fine. Just a small sprained ankle,” I avoided the question.

Silence. Oh good, so he took the hint. Now he wouldn't be asking any more questi-

“Did you save me?”

_Tch._

“Just be happy you didn’t lose any limbs, kid.”

Avoiding his question, I began pulling away from the wagon. The entire expedition was on the move again, having outrun the wolfdog attack. I had to rejoin my squad soon, I was already breaking formation by being here. Not that my presence there would make a difference anyway.

“But – I should be dead! I need to know what happened!”

Damn this kid could be persistent.

But how was I supposed to say this?

I had come across the most incredible scene I had ever witnessed- incredibly stupid, that is.

Everyone knows facing even one of those wolfdogs alone only resulted in certain death. But there he was, clutching at his side – clearly injured- but not _dead_.

I had spurred my horse to go even faster – now noticing that one of the creatures was badly wounded- it was bleeding from some cuts on its mouth and body. One of its hind legs looked curiously twisted – but the kid couldn’t have done _that_. The kid was swaying on his feet and looked ready to collapse any minute. I covered the last few meters with blades swinging at the two lunging wolfdogs just as the kid’s legs gave way under him. My blades made nice, clean cuts, severing both their spines in an instant and spraying blood everywhere. I landed softly on the grass, turning to glare at the remaining and wounded third wolfdog. It was bleeding profusely from its mouth, like someone had stuck a blade in between its teeth – but it showed no indication of backing off. It snarled at me instead, choosing to lunge at me with a loud growl. It made my hairs stand up despite my confidence in my skills to kill the thing. Those unearthly growls would be something I could never stand. A few seconds later, I flicked the blood from my blades, sheathing them smoothly.

Then I looked at my next task – the same kid I had spent the night with was sprawled flat on the ground, looking oddly peaceful despite being surrounded by wolfdog corpses. My eyes wandered to the actual blood on his body.

A sharp breath had been pulled from my lungs before I knew it – I was pulling his jacket roughly  apart, and unbuttoning his shirt hastily. I bit my bottom lip – there was blood, and it definitely looked like _his_ blood, but hopefully these cuts were shallow. It looked like the creature’s claws had dug into him – but I couldn’t say how deep. I had to get him to the group where I could get him treated properly. I pulled him up with little effort, and heaved him up my horse. My horse would be slower with two people – but it could manage. I mounted next, urging the horse to go as fast as possible.

Luckily, no other wolfdogs showed up even as I heard their distant growls, while I slowly but surely caught up with the rest of the group. He was treated quickly – the wounds turned out to be nothing major. The antidote to the toxin was shoved roughly down his throat and he had protested in his unconscious state, but some coaxing by the medic seemed to do the trick.

I had been so relieved to hear the news that he would be awake in a while that I had not noticed the red welts across my palms from gripping on to my reins too hard this whole time.

And I had been caught off guard when he did finally wake up – and had been cornered with questions I hadn’t really been prepared to answer.

“Yes, I took care of them for you,” I answered, the quickest way to get this persistent brat off my case.

“...oh,” was his simple answer. I chanced a quick glance at his direction, curious that this simple explanation had been enough to satisfy his bottomless curiosity.

Or maybe not. His eyes looked back at me, blazing with a thousand questions, and I hastily looked away, hoping to avoid the onslaught of questions that would surely follow shortly.

But the kid surprised me again.

“Thank you.”

_Eh?_

I hadn’t been expecting that.

Caught off guard for the first time, I didn’t quite know how to react to this. Do I say “you’re welcome”? But that would make it sound like I was more than willing to save his sorry ass every time, and I didn’t want to come across as…soft.

I cleared my throat.

“I didn’t make it in time last time.”

I took in a breath, letting out the next words in a rush.

“I couldn’t bear to see you almost get killed for a second time like that. Just…don’t do something so stupid again, alright?”

Without waiting for his response, I pulled ahead to join my squad, feeling those bright eyes burning into my back.

 

 

***      ***      ***


	16. The Lie and the Truth

**_Eren_ **

 

My eyes were pulled uncontrollably to that undercut perched upon his study back as he moved away to join his squad.

Something about that man had me gaping and staring at him every time his presence graced mine.

Right now, my jaw was surely dropping to the ground at what would rival a hippo’s (although I had never actually seen one yet).

_He cared about me._

His words had certainly implied that clearly.

Or wait, he _did_ care about _everyone_ here, and it was no secret that Captain Levi wouldn’t leave one of his men behind – ever.

I just had intended to thank him for saving me from my then-clearly-imminent demise – which I had more than been grateful for – but I hadn’t been expecting such a revelation.

_“Don’t do something so stupid again.”_

For me, it hadn’t been stupid. I had done it to put Armin out of harm’s way. And if something similar happened, there was no doubt I would do it again without a second thought.

_“Don’t do something so stupid again.”_

But he hadn’t wanted me to get hurt. Maybe he said this to everybody he saved. Or maybe he… maybe he-

_He cared._

It felt like I had just opened a door to a whole new world I hadn’t known to exist. His stoic demeanour which at its worst let slip some ghosts of what could be called emotions. But that display just now – that hesitation in his voice, that reluctance in accepting my gratitude towards his actions –

_Shit, he was truly a modest man, wasn’t he?_

My cheeks were surely a few degrees warmer than usual.

_Such kindness. Such empathy. Such caring. Such treasures hidden away in such a small body._

I internally chuckled at the last thought – remembering his dislike to references to his height. It was so cute. Dear me, and _how cute it had been.  
_ Now, giggles and laughter fell uncontrollably from my mouth like a downpour; it really wasn’t a time or place to start laughing on a supply wagon, lest alone in the middle of an expedition, but my mind wasn’t listening. It wasn’t listening, so my mind offered no relief and forged ahead, recalling the last conversation where he had almost taken Hange’s ear off for suggesting he use a _ladder_ when retrieving one of the books on the top shelves in the Yeager library.

Laughter ceasing, my wide grin eased into a soft smile, recalling those irritated, narrowed eyes as he had glared into mine when I had easily retrieved the book for him (Hange had been too occupied, having doubled up with laughter at the sight of Levi practicing gymnastics for what should have been a simple exercise).

_“Medical Toxicology of Flora in Northern Shiganshina, Vol.1”_

I had been pleasantly surprised; I had expected him to be reading the extensive collection of combat, history or even perhaps literature related books. It hadn’t occurred to me that he would actually be interested in reading any books from my father’s extensive medical book collection. The Captain just didn’t seem to be the kind of person who would be interested in the profession of caring for and saving people just because they liked to help others.

By no means was I implying that he was cold hearted – far from it, actually. It just hadn’t struck me that he would be enthusiastic about the medical arts as a whole as his face rarely betrayed emotion – how was his patient supposed to be at ease with him when the only emotion he displayed would be a neutral, deadpan face even in the face of the most horrible of deaths? Although the thought of Nurse Levi did elicit a strange sort of humor, I had thought he would appreciate the science of medical studies at a distance and continue to excel at what he was best known for – his combat abilities.

It was known that he could kill a man with his eyes closed, feet and hands bound, in a single strike. It was known he would go to great lengths to save his comrades on the battlefield (but that was bravado and heroism, wasn’t it? It was what a warrior did – save your comrades and gain their trust – building up strength and a good team along the way.

But how much was _really_ known?

How much did _I_ really know about the man I so admired?

Over the simple course of the last twenty-four hours, I had learned  _so_ much more about him.

That he had contained genuine worry in his eyes as he had first swung at those creatures, making swift work of them.

That he had the ability to stay very calm, even in dire situations, as when we had been trapped in the storm. He had so calmly assessed our situation. I had been intent on finding our group, but he had stopped me; understood that we couldn’t catch up to our group.

He had then remembered the geography, calculated our relative location to the closest area that could provide shelter. And we had found shelter. And survived. All thanks to him.

_“Don’t do something so stupid again.”_

I couldn’t guarantee that. If Armin was in trouble, if any of my friends were in trouble, I knew I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t try and help them.

But he had cared about my safety. It left a funny flutter in the pit of my stomach. It felt strange to know that he cared, despite the number of times I would jump in to help-

The flutters in my stomach suddenly turned into a storm.

_His words. His actions. It was almost like-_

The wagon shuddered to a halt, uncomfortably pulling me out of my thoughts. The sun was now setting, low over the horizon. We had arrived at a ruined fort. The walls seemed to be intact, though. Word soon passed down the line that we would be resting here for the night.

Nothing had ever sounded better.

Running into a heavy storm our very first day of the expedition, and having to take shelter in a cave.

The very next day, having run into wolfdogs and escaping them by the skin of our teeth.

A small, but sturdy fort with _walls_? It was the best thing to pass my eyes all day.

The wounded and those who had been on the outer side of the formation were to have first rest. I quickly got off the cart, wincing with the small pains all over my body, but knew those wouldn’t amount to more than small bruises. It was Armin who I needed to see.

The expedition had now gone inside, and a small group serving as the first watch dispersed among its few watchtowers. This was far out from any civilization, and we couldn’t afford to take any chances. Nothing could climb these walls, but as the saying went: _Better safe than sorry._

The wagons were first unloaded, rooms assigned, then dinner served. I was itching to see Armin, but I could only do so after the next watch rotation was announced. As I wasn’t assigned on duty, I scurried to the sick bay to find Armin just in time to find Mikasa’s red scarf flutter out of sight in the corner of the hallway. She had been assigned to the second watch, so she must’ve been here before me to check on Armin.

I scurried among the many empty cots, having spotted Armin with three other lightly wounded. He flashed me a big smile, and I returned it in kind.

“Been worse,” Armin quipped, pinching my arm. I must have let slip an indication of worry, so I struggled to indicate my composure.

“How’s your ankle?”

Armin smiled as if to say I was worrying needlessly. “I can ride again in a day, they said. More importantly, I just wanted to thank you, Eren.”

“W-What are you talking about? You’re my friend! Don’t say that!”

“I know,” he smiled at me again. “I also owe the Captain apparently, for saving _your_ life.”

“Yeah,” I grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of my head. “He was so cool. He took down those wolfdogs like they were not five times his size! He’s also so much more caring than people give him credit for.”

Armin smiled knowingly.

“He knows so much more than what people give him credit for.”

_Huh?_

I looked at Armin, his soft, knowing smile still plastered across his face.

A flurry of mixed emotions hit my gut, bouncing off the walls of my stomach like a storm raging inside. 

I couldn’t think.

I couldn’t…I couldn’t feel.

“Ar-min…” I could only mutter, as I slowly tore apart inside, taking in _that man’s_ words, _his_ actions. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I still couldn’t feel.

“No- no way…” I got up, my knees knocking over the chair I had been sitting on. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no…”

“Eren?” my eyes snapped up to meet Armin’s, and his eyes were wide, apprehensive. Like he expected me to explode. The storm of emotions subsided quickly enough, and one emerged victorious – I only felt rage. Anger.

Armin noticed immediately, his eyes widening as far as they would go.

“Oh no, Eren, calm down! It’s alright! He’s just-”

I didn’t let him finish. 

Without another word, I turned and left.

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

Some fool was banging on my door. I _tsked_ irritably, crossing the room in quick strides. The incessant banging continued. I only knew _one_ person who would have the guts to _bang_ on my door at this time. The only fool who hadn’t heard of _knocking_ , and dared disturb me when I had been about to turn in for the night.

I opened the door silently, my best glare marking my features. They better have a good excuse for bothering me, or they weren’t about to leave here alive.

“Oi, shitty glasses, I’m gonna _kill_ you-”

I froze in mid-sentence.

Large, teal green eyes, a mop of brunette hair stared back at me, almost surprised. That expression faded quickly, replaced by one of- was it anger?

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I blinked, surprised at the words coming out of his mouth. I quickly composed myself, narrowing my eyes and glaring at this boy who had disturbed me.

“Ever heard of _knocking_? Are you trying to wake up the entire fort? You better have a _very_ good reason for trying to burst down my door-”

“Don’t ignore my question! Why didn’t you tell me?”

The volume of his words had increased. I was getting irritated now. This brat clearly had the guts to yell at his superiors- at me, moreover.

“Tell you what. I don’t know what you’re talking about, and you don’t take that behaviour with me. If you know what’s good for you, better get back to your room, kid. I’m giving you this chance before I send you back in pieces.”

I stepped back smoothly, bringing in the door to slam it on his face. Now I could go back to what I was doing-

His foot caught in between the door and the frame, effectively stopping me from closing it.

“Brat,” I said, my words deadly. “You better be prepared for this, because you brought it upon yourself.”

Slowly letting the door open again, I cracked my knuckles, “You can forget being on this expedition for directly disobeying orders from me.”

“You knew all along.”

His cold, dead voice stopped me from my next move. They were laced with such anger. And sadness.

“You knew all along! Why didn’t you say something, _anything_?”

“Is there anything to say?”

His teal green eyes widened. Hurt. I had hurt him. I could see the damage I had inflicted so clearly reflected in his wide eyes. But this was for the best.

“…you….lied to me….”

Now my eyes widened. With disbelief. With hurt. _Hurt?_ No, it couldn’t be.

I wasn’t hurt. I was angry. Furious. That right belonged to _me_.

“Come in.”

I surprised myself with my voice. Had I just said that? No, I couldn’t have. But the glimmer of hope in those bright eyes said otherwise, and my arm seemed to be betraying my inner thoughts as it pushed the door wide open.

_No, stop, what are you doing? Don’t let him in!_

My thoughts uselessly screamed  itself hoarse in the back of my mind- this is a bad idea, this is a very bad idea, this is a _very very very_ bad idea-

 He stepped inside, a little awkwardly, as if he hadn’t expected that invitation.

_Well, of course not. I never invited anyone into my quarters, not even Erwin. Then what the hell was this brat doing inside my room?_

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Eren_ **

I looked around nervously inside. I had come here to confront him, yet it had felt like _I_ was the one being confronted. To top it off, I had never expected him to actually invite me _inside_. I looked around the abnormally clean room. We had just arrived mere hours ago, yet this place shone brighter than the sun. There wasn’t a speck of dust to be seen anywhere, and judging by the yellow light cast around the room with the multiple lanterns, even the filthy, grease stained lanterns had been scrubbed clean.

He _tsked_ irritably at my shoes, barking a quick command for me to take them off. I quickly complied, not wanting to get the spotless floor dirty, and wincing when I noticed the two dirt tracks clearly visible against the clean floor. I looked hesitantly at him, but he only replied with a withering glare and a “I’ll clean it later.”

It felt strange, being here in this clean haven after the filth that surrounded me everywhere. Suddenly, I felt very filthy standing in this clean room. Like I clearly didn’t belong here. I had bathed just earlier, but somehow I still couldn’t get the feeling of filth away from me in this clean room. So the rumors about Captain Levi being the one to start the cleaning rotation tradition back at castle headquarters had been true, then. No wonder the whole place was under orders to be sparkling clean.

“If you’re done bringing down the walls with that loud voice and standing there like a fool, come and sit here before I kick you there myself.”

“S-sorry,” I stuttered, not really sure what I was apologizing for, when I was the one bursting to ask a million questions. Well, I _had_ banged on his door quite loudly without respecting the time or place or his status. But I was angry, so it was justifiable, right? As a matter of fact, I should be still raging inside with anger because-

But suddenly, the rage that had been burning within me just minutes earlier was nowhere to be found.

Instead, I had been invited inside the very room which I had sworn to knock down, and the very man who I had come to confront was standing in front of me, offering me a steaming cup of tea.

I accepted it with a quiet mutter of thanks, and we both sat in chairs across each other around the only table in the room.

He held his cup in his trademark way – holding it around the rim.

I felt a smile slip out despite myself, as the gesture brought back warm memories of summer spent around a picnic table and laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

Uh, he caught me smiling. I should be angry. _Be angry!_

“You haven’t changed the way you hold your cup.”

That didn’t sound angry at all. It just sounded like a statement. This wasn’t working. The anger I had felt wasn’t rising up at all. What had I even been angry about?

“You haven’t changed, either," he coolly stated. 

The temperature of the room dropped a few degrees at that.

That’s right. I had been angry. Because-

“You did a fantastic job of trying to fool me,” the cold words were now spilling  _into_ my ears, as I listened, unbelieving. _I was fooling him? How?_

My startled eyes found his across the table. His hands were gripping the cup in a death grip, his fingertips turning white. He was angry when I should be the angry one. Why was _he_ angry?

“It’s admirable you always try to save your friends. Have you ever thought about _yourself?_ ” More cold words spilled from his mouth.

He narrowed his eyes in a glare that send cold chills down my spine. _Deadly._

Without letting me have a chance to speak, he continued.

“Wait, no. When you do ever stop and think about something? Never. It’s always about jumping in headfirst, then thinking later with you, isn’t it. Those warnings. It’s wasn’t enough. And it’ll _never_ be enough.”

His voice had risen, and I don’t think he had realized that himself.

My throat had gone dry, unable to think of anything to defend myself against his verbal assault. Because he was right. Completely. And I clearly had been unprepared for this.

But I had to say something. _Anything._

But the words were taken away from me when I saw what he slammed down on the table next.

“Recognize this?”

My chair scraped back as I quickly got up on my feet, startled beyond belief. I don’t think my eyes could’ve opened any wider than this.

That very _familiar_ sketch.

“I think you do. You’ve sure become very muscular, _Lady Erin._ ”

 I froze, unable to think, unable to act. I had suspected. I had suspected earlier, but-

“I- So you _knew_ the whole time, and you didn’t say anything!” The words sounded a little strangled exiting my mouth.

“What was there to say?”

“You lied to me the whole time! Why didn’t you say _something? Anything?_ ”

His eyes dangerously narrowed.

“If anyone is lying here, it’s _you._ ”

My knees felt weak. My body found the chair by itself, it’s support a welcome relief.

“How…long?”

“Does it matter? We’re forgetting the more important things here. What matters is – who else knows about this?”

I raised my eyes nervously to meet his.

 _This wasn’t really happening. This was all just a bad dream. My fears were confirmed. He knew. He really knew!_ _  
_

“Armin knows, too.”

“I know he does. He drew this thing, didn’t he?” he asked, pointing a finger at the sketch.

I nodded, looking at the table. We must have forgotten to throw those sketches away…damn it.

He sighed deeply next, looking at me in the eye.

“I know your sister Mikasa does, too. Don’t look so nervous. I’m angry, but I’m not going to kill you. I knew who it was in the sketch the minute I laid my eyes on it. I just wasn’t entirely sure what had happened until I saw that brat Armin at Survey Corps headquarters. I remembered him clearly, and it wasn’t difficult to put the pieces together when I saw that girl Mikasa with him, and especially not when you waltzed in to join them.”

I still couldn’t speak.

“The golden trio. I remembered you three from the mansion. How difficult would it be to piece it together? I’m not a fool. I recognized your friends right away, how could I not when you three were joined at the hip at the mansion? It was harder to recognize you when you ran into me in the corridor. But I still recognized you right away. Your figure, your hair, your voice…all different, yet eerily the same. Yet I thought you had a good reason for doing this. So I pretended not to recognize you, in the hopes of finding why you would do this. And yet, the only thing I’ve learned is your absolutely unfathomable desire to go and get yourself killed!”

“I only did what I wanted to do! Is that so bad?” I gritted under my teeth. _Why wouldn’t he understand?_ “I just wanted to live my own life. Why does everyone keep interfering?”

“Because you don’t listen. I had such a hard time believing what you had done to yourself, that it was easier to believe you hadn’t. And it was _so_ easy to believe that you hadn’t just ignored every warning ever given to you. That you had gone and put yourself in danger _again.”_

I bit my lip, knowing where this was going.

 “Did you tell Lady Carla? How much does your mother know of this?”

The question was so cold, so barren.

“No,” I replied, my tone icy.

“So you didn’t think telling her was important. And judging by your expression, you haven’t told anyone, and you didn’t expect me to find out. And when did you intend for people to find out, _Eren_? When you were clearly dead and cold?”

The use of my name drew my attention to reality again. He had known all along. All along, and I was the one who had not known.

I felt played, somehow, even though I had been the one trying to fool people about my true identity.

But this all had to end, sometime. The dream couldn’t last forever.

“I realize dying is likely,” I said, trying not to let myself break. He clearly hadn’t understood me. Understood my _need_ to be free. “But getting stronger, experiencing new things- for the first time, I felt truly alive. You don’t- you don’t understand-”

“No, I _do_ understand. I understand that you put yourself in harm’s way, when I specifically promised your mother such a thing wouldn’t happen again. I understand that you don’t trust me enough to listen to my warnings, and what everyone else have been telling you. You got lucky with the wolfdogs this time. What about the next time? What if, _next time_ , I’m not there to save your sorry ass?”

A dam seemed to break within him. "Lady Carla holds an important position. Countless people look to find her weakness and bring her down, and one of them is _you_. Did you not think it was irresponsible to go and do the very thing she had been so adamant about? Of course your friends would follow you, and now you've placed both Armin and Mikasa in a position where they don't need to be. Do you really understand your position and the impact of your actions? Are you _really_ ready to face the consequences?"

He was livid, that much was clear. His anger clearly radiated across the table to my person, and my mind was reeling from the facts that he had thrown at me. The reality. The reality that I had wished for, had pined for. But had I been prepared to accept it?

No, I had not been ready. The image of those mercenaries, surrounding me, took over. I was weak, overpowered. Barely able to throw a punch. Somehow lucky to be alive.

Wait, that couldn't be right. The answer was- Yes, I _was_ ready. Harsh military training, with each day passing by with the same mantra. Be stronger. Get stronger. Stronger! Stronger! I am strong! This man is wrong. Captain Levi is wrong! _I am strong!_

He wouldn’t be there to save me? That was nonsense. I didn’t need him! I didn’t need him to save me at all! As a matter of fact, I didn’t need him in my life!

“…I…don’t need you,” I whispered, recognizing the small but clear voice filling the room. “I-”

My cheeks were wet now, and warm water fell on my clenched fists atop the table. My sight was also becoming rather blurry, how strange.

“I don’t need you…” my voice came out stronger. Shortly punctuated by two large sobs ripping between my lips from my throat, unwelcome.

“I DON’T NEED YOU!” I yelled, warm waterfalls marking their path across my cheeks. “My…my freedom means more to me than your protection! I don’t want to be _saved!_ I-I just want to be free! Why won’t you understand that? I don’t need you!”

Barely able to see in front of me now, I got up from the chair, having to use the table as balance. My vision swam with fresh tears, refusing to clear up.  

Silence now reined in the room, the ultimate ruler. But my thoughts howled and raged.

I didn’t need him. I didn’t need him. _I didn’t need him._

Then why did I feel so hollow inside when I had said that?

Why had I felt like something was tearing me apart from within when I had said I clearly didn’t need him?

Another hot, burning knife embedded itself in my chest at the thought, making me gasp with the shock and pain. I looked down at my chest, clutching at my heart for the knife that never materialized itself.

Where was the damn thing? Why did it feel like I was being stabbed over and over, but I couldn’t see the assailant or the damn knife? I wanted to rip out the thing that was causing such unbearable, burning pain. 

_I didn’t need him._

Another hot, burning sensation, this one much more powerful than before. It ripped through my stomach, making me double over with the pain. I gasped, unable to breathe. It hurt. It hurt.

_It hurt!_

_But I didn’t need him._

A thousand needles pierced my heart. They embedded themselves deeper, making my heart bleed out everywhere, and nothing was left anymore-

My fingers gripped nothing on the table, while my legs somehow found purchase to move. I stumbled over to the door, waving my arms blindly. I needed to get out of here.

_Because I didn’t need him._

This time, a cold, frozen land. Frozen wind that stung like no other thing I had felt before. This was the worst. It was barren, empty. Nothing existed here. Nothing ever would live here. I would die alone, cold, and miserable. My corpse would never be found, fading away into nothing over time.

A metallic sensation. My blurry vision couldn’t make out much, but my palms recognized what was probably the doorknob. My hands shaking, I tried to turn it, but the round metal slipped, and I fumbled, trying to get it to turn.

I don’t understand. I thought I clearly hadn’t needed him, yet why did it feel like these knives and needles were burying themselves within me every time the thought even crossed my mind? This was a lie. I didn’t need him, and I would get out of here, and I would realize I was right, and that I didn’t need him after all-

_Then why won't these damn tears stop falling? Why didn’t my body stop racking itself with uncontrollable sobs at the very thought, and why wouldn’t my hands stop shaking? WHY?_

A warm hand placed itself over mine. My hands immediately stopped wrestling with the doorknob, and my body immediately froze, unbelieving.

I could feel his warmth on my back.

“Don’t leave.”

And that’s all it took. My hands dropped uselessly to my sides, my shoulders gradually stopping their shaking. My sobs quietly eased, steadily reducing the constant waterfall of my tears.

“It was foolish of you not to tell Carla.”

My sobs found themselves announcing their presence again.

“But I think it was brave of you…to join.”

Those words.

I turned around slowly, unbelieving, as his hands dropped from mine. Strangely, I wanted them back where they were instantly. That warmth that now matched his expression.

“Really?” I said, not believing. 

“Really. Very foolish, but brave.”

He smiled.

And at that moment, it was like the moment when the sun had shown itself after that violent storm. It had lit everything up in its warm, brilliant light. And it had felt like everything would be okay again.

He was pulling the fabric of my shirt near my wrist now, tugging me back to the table. I stopped at the chair, but he gently pulled me onwards to the bed that rested beside the window.

“Sit,” he directed. “It’s more comfortable here.”

I sat.

I watched as he made his way to the pot over the small fire, pouring another two cups of tea. The sweet and comforting scent wafted over to me, and I was relaxing without realizing it.

He handed me a hot cup, and I cupped it between my palms, savoring the smell and the warmth.

“So tell me what happened.”

I turned to look at him, having not really expected that question. His fierce, steel grey eyes looked into mine, no, into _me_.

 _Trust me_ , they said. And I did.

So I told him.

 

***      ***      ***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I'm so glad to say I'm finally at the point where Eren and Levi are coming clean with each other! It feels amazing to write this out of my system! It was a long journey here, and I must thank YOU GUYS for being so awesome and sticking with me this far along!!   
> From here on out, they're just going to keep getting closer and closer...and closer... //insane giggling//   
> Hope to see you next week!! XD


	17. The Dawn of a New Day

 

**_Eren_ **

The bright sunlight streamed in through the window. My eyes blinked against the light, choosing to quickly shut tight at the contact and huddle under the covers where it was warm.

_Ahh yes, this was it. So warm. Let me get closer to the bundle of heat._

Turning over, I swung my arm around the highly warm and comfortable heat. Now to drift back to the bliss of sleep…

_Hmm?_

I could swear the bundle of warmth just moved…And something was tickling me under my chin. Ugh, I must have my covers tangled up again. Feeling the arms of sleep comfortably welcoming me to their land, I buried myself deeper into the covers, wiggling to move deeper.

This was very warm and comfortable.

My dream was so vivid now. And it smelled very nice. Like the tea that certain person had served…the very fragrant and calming scent…

I moved my nose closer to the source of the smell, feeling it tickle in the warm mop that was the source of the wonderful, wonderful scent.

My eyes twitched open, woken from the dream, but also from a nagging feeling.

Smooth, porcelain skin greeted my vision.

“Wha-?”

My arms felt like lead, but I brought them up to scrub at my eyes, which felt slightly raw from crying.  

_Hm? I had been crying? Why?_

Long eyelashes filled my vision. Dark, raven black hair, and vast expanses of smooth porcelain skin unmistakably lay softly breathing centimeters from my face.

My mouth went dry and my body felt hot all at once.

My breaths started coming in short bursts and I could feel my cheeks grow rapidly warm until I was certain the sheets still touching my face would catch fire.

My heart beat wildly as if I had just completed a marathon.

I did the only thing I could – I let out a long and silent scream. If he woke up and found me like this (wrapped around him like a rumored Koalabear on its branch), I would be killed. That much I knew with certainty.

Now close to tears again, but for an entirely different reason, I slowly started to extract my limbs from the warm bundle which was the Captain.

He let out a small mumble of protest when I pulled out my foot caught between the vice-like-grip of his legs. Now for my arms. The left arm was easy enough. The right was caught between his arms and his body. He had chosen to grip my arm tightly to his body, which left me no room to wiggle it out.

My arm aching with the effort, I now tried to look everywhere but his face. His face was so _close_ , it was _too_ close!

Yet, I felt drawn to it like a kite with its string being pulled, and I ceased my struggles with my arm. This man clearly did not want to let go of my arm, so I really had no other choice.

Heart still hammering wildly, and ribs protesting at the assault, I gently shook the Captain.

Was it just my imagination, or did his grip tighten around my arm?

Either way, my arm was starting to go numb. I had to get him to let it go somehow, but shaking him didn’t seem to work. If I was going to wake him up anyway, wouldn’t hurt to try calling him, right?

“Um…Captain?” I tried. My voice came out to be smaller than I imagined, so I tried calling louder.

“Uhh Captain? Captain Levi? Please wake up, it’s morning. Also, you’re crushing my arm…”

“Mhem?” A mumbled response.

I brought my face closer to his, even though it caused my heart to jump around now even more.

“Captain. Captain? Captain! Captain Levi!”

His eyes snapped open, deep silver grey boring into mine. With menace.

“You have 5 seconds to get your morning breath away from me.”

“Huh?” My eyes widened. How was I supposed to do that with my arm trapped?

I shook my head, too scared to open my mouth and let out more of my ‘morning breath’. He didn’t seem to understand, narrowing his gaze to glare powerfully into my eyes.

“What’s wrong? Didn’t you hear me?”

I shook my head, trying to make him understand. I gave my trapped arm a strong tug, causing him to be pulled with me in the process. It seems he understood now, as his grip slackened.  

“Say something earlier!” he grumbled, whipping my arm away from him and shuffling away. I nearly fell out of bed with the force at which he had thrown my arm away, and I scrambled to get away.

“I did try to wake you up, Captain. But you had my arm trapped in your cudd-”

His eyes narrowed dangerously in that moment.

“I do _not_ cuddle,” he warned.

Confused, I looked at my arm, then back at him.

“But-”

“Go and brush your teeth, brat. And tell no one of this.”

I’m sure the blush I had had earlier returned at full force. The memories of last night – in all its entirety – was still vivid and crystal clear.

He had not rejected what I had done.

He had not rejected _me_.

He had called it stupid, but he had said he cared, and he had supported me.

He had listened while I had sat and hiccupped my story through- but he had been there, comforted me with tea, and most importantly –

He had listened.

A fond smile crossed my features despite myself.

“Thank you,” I said, looking at him straight in the eye. Then I swiftly turned and left, embarrassed, softly closing the door behind me.

“Thank you…” I trailed off, my back to the door, looking out at the bright sunshine now streaming in through the large open stone arches in the corridor. I felt free having told him everything. I felt…liberated. I remained in that position in quite a while before I decided to finally walk back to my assigned bunkroom.

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

He was like a furnace.

I had to admit, I had been more than surprised. I had had my doubts about his identity the second he had arrived at Survey Corps headquarters. I had asked Erwin, but not surprisingly, he had not been willing to give me all the details. But it hadn’t been difficult to put all the pieces together.

How many brats did I run into who happened to have the _exact same_ vivid teal green eyes?

How many brats did I know who had such vigor and life in their eyes?

And certainly not many brats roamed around with two friends I could clearly place in the Yeager mansion. One the blond haired mushroom who constantly reminded me of Erwin, and the other female with a nasty glint in her eyes.

Which reminds me, wasn’t she afraid of being revealed as Lord Mikasa? Clearly not. And the three of them were roaming the corridors with cleaning brushes, happily chatting and giggling, exactly as they had done at the mansion.

It was odd seeing _her_ like this. So odd seeing his true self. Yet it felt _right._

Like it wasn’t meant to be any other way.

And the careless brats clearly had been discussing their likelihood of being found out- because they had left those sketches on the table. I had thrown them out to be on the safe side- but kept the one of ‘Lady Erin’. It was nicely done after all.

Although, I hadn’t expected Eren to suspect, let alone find out that I had known. So it had surprised me when he had shown up on my doorstep demanding explanations.

I had obliged, and I had fully been unable to control my concerns. He had in the end, explained himself, and I had tried to make up for making him cry, giving him hot tea- until he had fallen asleep.

I had not foreseen this, either.

So I gently had tucked him in my bed. I didn’t feel like waking him up and kicking him out to his own bunkroom at this time of night. Not when he was so clearly tired.

He was sleeping – his eyelashes were ever _so_ long, and his warm breath was on my face –

_Wait, why was I getting so close to him in his sleep?_

Shaking my head, I had quickly slipped in with him, as it was late and I was tired.

I had woken up next to a furnace, and done what my body had naturally wanted to do- not let go.

And he had the guts to call me a cuddler. To my face.

Well, _I was not a cuddler._

Though I may have purposely pulled his arm closer to my body, that act alone didn’t make me a _cuddler_.

Unsettled, I had called upon the only available excuse – told him to go brush his teeth. That should do the trick.

The brat was now leaving, and I almost sighed in relief. 

_I don’t think my heart can take this much longer._

“Thank you,” the brat said.

My heart was about to burst now. Because his great, big teal eyes were looking straight at _me._

He turned around quickly before I had a chance to say anything.

Which was all well, because my face had taken on a deep shade of crimson.

His big, warm eyes, so full of life and energy. They had touched me in a spot I didn’t know had existed within myself.

I felt life, no warmth itself begin to spread out from my toes to my ears, spreading, glowing, growing.

The room seemed alive. I felt more alive than I ever remembered, even more than when I had first laid eyes on the ocean.

 _Imagine, then, seeing the ocean with him._   _The same colour as his eyes._

My knees were weak. I stumbled to the door, and hesitated. Did I want to go after him now?

I leant my back against the door, looking up.

Not yet. I wasn’t ready. No – _he_ wasn’t ready for this. My unwanted feelings. He would reject me, he wouldn’t want me.

My eyes could linger on his, but he wouldn’t return those feelings. I should forget this. I should forget this before it gets worse.

But…it’s too late already, isn’t it?

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

 

**_Eren_ **

Armin seemed to be doing a lot better.

Commander Smith had given orders to stay in our temporary fort for another day, as we were on the very boundary of unexplored territory anyway. The day had seen bursts of sunshine interrupted with downpours, and word was we were to officially start mapping the new territory starting tomorrow, in hopes that the weather would be better.

The rest of the injured were fit enough to travel again as well. Mikasa and I were visiting Armin before we headed out for tomorrow’s journey.

Armin assured us of his good health, and again recounted to Mikasa how the Captain had definitely _saved_ Eren.

I nervously cleared my throat, as I really needed to tell Armin and Mikasa about _that._

Armin listened patiently, while Mikasa’s expression grew more and more horrified.

“I still don’t know how you knew about this, Armin, but you were right. He found out.”

“Of course he found out, Eren,” Armin stated calmly after I had finished.

I blinked stupidly.

“What?”

“Sorry, Eren, but I did leave those sketches there on purpose after we finished talking.”

“Why would you do that?” Mikasa surprised me by joining me in glaring at Armin.

“Whoa, you two, calm down! I have a good reason for this. You two are important people, and I thought we could trust him. Commander Erwin trusts him, and any man commander Erwin trusts can be trusted.”

“Commander Erwin, hm?” Mikasa glared.

Armin faltered a bit under her glare.

“Y-Yes, him. Listen, you two are safer like this. Captain Levi is strong, and it helps our case that he knows about both of your true identities! He can keep an eye out for enemies, and this makes him our strong ally. He’s Erwin’s right hand man, and Erwin has the largest connections out of us all. If anything fishy is up in the air, we have the best security Shiganshina has to offer, and the best ears and eyes. Our secret is safe with the Captain.”

Mikasa’s glare narrowed further, but she didn’t question Armin. And neither did I, because in my opinion, he was completely right. Things weren't turning out quite the way I had imagined them to be, but if Armin said to trust the Captain, I trusted Armin, and I definitely trusted the Captain, which left no room to argue.

Soon, it was Mikasa’s turn to take up her position on watch for the fort, so she left, leaving me and Armin.

“So,” he began.

“Hmm? What?” I asked, trailing my eyes lazily over a spider spinning its web on the ceiling, thinking of the expression the Captain would make if he saw the amount of cobwebs here.  A grin flashed over my face at this, while I balanced myself carefully on my chair’s hind legs, making me almost miss Armin’s next words.

“So what did you two _do?_ ”

My chair tripped over with a loud _crash!_ earning me a look from Armin.

“W-What? No-nothing happened, obviously! What do you mean, what did we do…”

I fretted nervously, really thrown by Armin’s unsettling insight.

He passed me an amused smile, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“B-but- it wasn’t- it’s not-!”

He maintained the smile, looking at me expectantly. Well, this really wasn’t going anywhere.

“We didn’t do anything. We just talked. I told him everything, and we just spoke about…things…”

“Things,” Armin repeated.

“…”

“So these _things_ are that why you didn’t go back to your bunkroom last night?”

“How do you know about that!”

Armin smiled his devilish smile. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

“Armin, I swear nothing actually happened, I promise!”

“Oh,” he said, eyebrow raised.

“No, really! I was furious at him for not telling me he knew all along. Then he wouldn’t understand why I left! So I tried to explain…and I grew upset, so I sort of cried, which is really embarrassing, now that I think about it…”

Armin’s face fell at this.

“It’s okay, Armin, it wasn’t that bad. He…he was really nice to me. He listened, then he gave me some more tea. Then we just…talked. Mostly, I asked him to tell me more of his stories.”

A small smile passed over my face at the memory.

“I guess I must’ve fallen asleep, because I woke up in his…room…” I finished nervously, recalling the last part.

Armin nodded. “Now I see. Are you sure nothing else happened?” his bright blue eyes found my nervous green.

“I’m absolutely sure.”

“Then why do you look like you hope something else happened?”

“Armin!” I hissed, blushing furiously. I got up to leave the room before Armin found another million holes in my story.

“If something _happens_ , you better tell me, alright?” Armin called out to my back.

“ARMIN!” my strangled voice spilled over my shoulder while I stumbled to hide the steam that I was sure was pouring from my ears, and closed the door while Armin’s laughter echoed in my ears.

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

The bright sun assaulted my eyes. Erwin couldn’t have picked a better day to start another day of this expedition. The newbies better not be pissing their pants at the thought of new, unexplored territory that was sure to come with new, unexplored threats and beasts.

That was no problem for me, however. My horse was jittery, as was I at the thought of new lands.

Where no one had put their filthy hands on before.

This was new, raw territory, which we would grace with our presence and lay eyes on it for the very first time.

My heart fluttered and my stomach jumped. My hands tightened on their reins, and my palms were clearly sweaty.

_Wait, why were my palms sweaty?_

Couldn’t be because of the teal green eyed, brunette haired, tanned brat on his horse next to mine.

No, it couldn’t.

Not at all, because it wasn’t like Erwin had decided to assign _permanent_ pairs for this mission, which paired up the newbies with the experienced ones. Since the dangers were unknown, it was better to have the newbies partnered with the ones that knew what to expect. And therefore, the partners were expected _not_ to leave each other _at all times._

And here he was, looking as nervous as I could expect. His horse understood his nervousness and whinnied.

“Whoa there,” I stroked his horse to calm it down. “And Eren, you too, calm down. Your horse understands your emotions. I know you’re nervous, but you have to keep it in check.”

"Just excited," he laughed, which threw about his messy mop of brunette hair. It looked very soft, and my hands now itched to sink their digits within the mess…

_My thoughts were clearly getting distracted._

Shaking my head, I reoriented myself. As a part of my team, my right was flanked by Petra and Oluo, who were a pair. The pair on our left consisted of Eld Jinn and Gunther Schultz, and they were all lucky, as none of them had been landed with newbies. Except me. But I wasn’t really complaining.

The word travelled down the line that the path was clear and we were all to bear a straight north. Easy.

As the horses thundered out the fort gate, I breathed in the fresh air. I was thankful for the fort to protect our little group for two days, but I hated being stuck in one place for too long.

It was liberating to finally be on the move again, and I could tell all the Survey Corps members were the same. That’s why we all joined this group, didn’t we? All of us, labelled strange, outrageous, insane, by the regular members of society. They didn’t understand what we would accomplish by throwing ourselves into danger, into the unknown.

Well, those idiots didn’t understand one, basic thing: _Nothing ventured, nothing gained._

It was simple. If we didn’t go out there, see what was out there, we would remain what we were before.

To truly understand the world, to truly be _free_ , we had to go beyond the set limits.

I didn’t see any line drawn for me, for _us_ , to be stuck in one place, one city, one role.

The wonders of the world and of us existed out _here_ , where no one could interfere.

Here, your status didn’t matter.

Here, your petty troubles didn’t bother you.

What mattered was that _here_ , no one could tell us what to do.

“We are truly free.”

But I hadn’t said that. Surprised, I looked to my right, looking at the wide-eyed brat who was now staring at the clear skies.

I smiled, despite myself.

“Yeah,” I had to agree.

The brat looked surprised, as if he hadn’t been expecting my reaction. Well, I didn’t smile much, because I usually never had any reason to. But for some reason, having this brat around was enough to make me unconsciously smile despite myself. 

It was also enough to have my stomach perform another round of gymnastics, and my heart thudded as if it wouldn’t live to beat another day.

Then the brat smiled back.

I really don’t think I could survive another day if this brat constantly smiled back at me like a thousand suns.

 

***      ***      ***

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh ho ho....things are getting warmer (eventually hotter and hotter)...?   
> Sorry I'm such a sucker for slow builds, but I think it's enough chapters now so ya'll can expect a treat next chapter :D


	18. The End of the Expedition – Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to split this chapter into two parts. I started writing, and it simply wouldn't fit into one chapter...Part 2 will be uploaded within 24 hours of this one!

**_Eren_ **

 

I was feeling a little breathless.

Not because it was an amazing, clear day to start our _true_ exploration – having been stuck in the fort for the past two days to recover our group’s strength.

Not because we surely had spotted at least _two_ new kinds of birds flying overhead in the past hour – having truly ventured into brand new territory.

Not because I was currently spurring my horse on as fast as it would go as we were moving downhill, as Commander Smith had signaled us to ride full speed and make good use of the sloped terrain to our advantage.

No, I was feeling out of breath because of that one smile.

 _His_ smile _._

I quickly glanced nervously to my left, and caught his usual neutral expression, albeit a bit focused straight ahead. He wasn’t smiling anymore, which was a little disappointing. Alright, I admit, it was _really_ disappointing.

When we had set out, I had looked up to the sky, and knowing we were going straight into a place no one had ever gone before, it had sent thrills down my spine. And as such, for the first time, I had felt what the Survey Corps members felt and must yearn to feel over and over–

_We are truly free._

I hadn’t realized that those words had escaped my lips without my notice. What surprised me more was that he had agreed, and what had really thrown me was-

_That smile._

It had hit me like the time I had fallen out of a tree I had been hiding in and fallen flat on my back, unable to breathe. Luckily, I hadn’t broken anything, but the wind had been knocked out of me in a single swoop. This is how I felt now. It also felt like when the sun had peeked out from behind the clouds after that storm. It felt like many things actually, and I felt like this smile was rare, reserved. And I had seen it – I had been allowed to see it.

So unable to control myself, my face had split into what must have been the widest smile in the galaxy – threatening to tear my face apart in two.

He had maintained the smile, but only for a second or two. Then he had looked away, straight ahead to our next goal.

Since then, I had started to breathe again, but been feeling a little breathless.

That smile would definitely be etched in my memory forever.

We both galloped onward downhill, the pleasant breeze throwing our hairs at the back. I snuck another glance towards my left, noticing how the wind lifted the longer hairs at his front and revealing the shorter buzzed ones at the back.

It took effort to tear my gaze away to the front to our goal, but I couldn’t help it – every movement by the man had my eyes following it. I realized it would be bad if I was caught staring, so I forced my head to turn at the front.

I had a mission to focus on.

And not a moment too soon, because a red flare sounded off towards our right. Trouble.

This time, I looked to my left to catch those steely greys with my own. Determination was written out on each of our faces.

He nodded to me, once, and that was all it took. Careful not to fumble, I pulled out a red flare. Moments later, the entire expedition was headed left. I caught sight of Petra and Oluo not too far from us, effortlessly maintaining a steady rhythm together with their horses. I admired them to be able to do that so easily; it must be the years of experience they had on these expeditions.

In the meantime, I was struggling to maintain a rhythm with the Captain ever since we had set out. He sped up now, and I struggled to match his pace. Then suddenly and inexplicably, he would slow down a tad, and I would quickly follow, only to have the pace speed up again.

This caused me to have to look at the Captain every now and then to ensure we matched pace. I didn’t particularly mind, especially it if meant I could have an (excellent) excuse to look at him every now and then.

The Captain’s horse sped up ahead of mine, and I made haste to follow. Slow again. Slower. Faster now. Slower. Slower. Confused, I stared at him now, silently asking for an explanation. I received none.

Only to have him pull ahead of me, leaving a muttered “not bad” in the air as I was finally able to match his pace with no difficulty this time.

I turned my head away to hide my shy grin, happy that he had approved.

I really needed to stop getting giddy over small things like this. But I couldn’t help it – not if it meant getting small compliments like this every once in a while.

It felt nice.

The pit of my stomach felt warm, and my grin turned into a full smile. It wouldn’t leave me alone, and I bit down on my bottom lip to suppress it. This wasn’t the time to get giggly over something small like this.

But the two words of compliment washed again over my ears in my head, which I was sure he hadn’t meant me to hear.

It spurred on the slow blush that was surely rising over my cheeks – along with a small, mildly horrifying revelation.

I was so _gone_ without this man. What would I do if he wasn’t here?

I looked up sharply – he was still there. He was still _here_.

And he would always be here, right?

But that didn’t mean…it didn’t mean he felt the same way. Maybe I had a chance if I was actually a Lady. I mean, he would certainly feel strange about being courted by a man, right? Especially after finding out the man used to cross-dress before as a Lady.

I felt hot all of a sudden. Wait, _courting?_ Really? Did I _really_ just think that?

Did I really want to court Captain Levi, the passive but wonderful man who haunted my thoughts every minute?

A small voice was now talking inside my head.

_Well, if you don’t, someone else will._

Red hot jealously burned like fire in my veins.

_No!_

Then shouldn’t you make your intentions clear?

_But what if he thinks me strange-_

He already said he knew all along, and he hadn’t judged you. Hadn’t questioned you for what you had needed to do, and what you had wanted to accomplish.

_I know what needs to be done. I have to tell him._

But…how? You're just a brat in his eyes. He has no need for a brat and his emotions, who is also always in constant need of saving.

_If I don’t try, I'll regret it._

I squeezed my eyes shut, sighing quietly yet deeply. My chest squeezed so hard it hurt, and my stomach clenched in a way that was quite uncomfortable. Yet this happened the moment I turned my head to look at him.

The moment his presence graced mine, it wasn’t difficult for the corners of my mouth to twist upwards on their own.

His mere presence was enough to send flutters in my stomach through to my toes, make me feel light and heavy at the same time.

I noticed him change the pace of our horses yet again, and I followed effortlessly again.

I gripped my reins tight, and breathed in.

I could do this.

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

 

I closed my eyes against the tree trunk. The brat was off to see his blond friend, along with that ice-glared sister of his. We were now taking a much needed rest in the afternoon after a long ride.

I kept an ear open for trouble in case it sprung on us, but we were on open terrain where the lookouts would have some advance warning. In any case, it was in the middle of the day, and certainly past the time any troublesome creatures would attack. Vicious animals usually attacked at night, or early in the morning. Midday was their time to sleep.

Which worked well for us.

I still took my short break with leisure, wondering why my heart wouldn’t calm the hell down even though I was now resting, and hadn’t calmed down the whole way.

I had caught the brat sneaking glances at me at first, which had prompted me to tease him by playing a game with him to see if he could keep pace with me. As per Survey Corps rules, you had to stick to and make pace with your partner. Of course, I tried not to let him on to my ulterior motive – which was that he had no choice to turn and keep looking at me if he hoped to maintain my pace.

And he had delivered – he had abandoned pretense of glancing and had kept looking over, to which it had taken my entire being and willpower not to stare back at him. Those big eyes. That wind-blown messy hair, which now looked _so_ enticing, if I could only reach out my hand and touch those soft-looking locks-

Oh no. No, no, this wouldn’t do, my thoughts were clearly taking me someplace where I wasn’t entirely comfortable on visiting.

This couldn’t be right. These feelings weren’t right.

It wasn’t my place to burden him with this. What would he see in me? This grumpy, unsociable man who refused to let anyone get close to him.

Yes, this despicable self, who wouldn’t even let him call me by name, insisting on maintaining this farce called formality.

When there was nothing else I wanted to hear but let him say my name.

But that would be selfish of me, wouldn’t it?

That day when the brat had almost called me by my name instead of “Captain” in front, I had fully glared at him, snapping at him “that’s _Captain_ Levi for you, brat”.

I buried my face in my palms now.

Why had I done that? Stupid, stupid, so foolish!

When I wanted nothing more to hear my name from those lips.

The realization had me breathing harder. What manner of thoughts were these? No, there were clearly more things I could do with my time and better things my thoughts could be dedicated to. Yet, I found myself unable to think about anything else.

I was slowly becoming painfully aware of just how many waking hours I would think about the certain bright eyed, big eyed brat. And lately, I would loathe to admit that he was in fact, taking over my sleeping hours as well.

Especially after that night we had spent huddled together for warmth in that cave, I had to admit I had found more than simple warmth for survival when he had been there beside me, both of us shivering to keep the other warm. If anything, I had been happy and thanked my fortune it was him I had been stuck with. It scared me to admit that my thoughts had been taking me to deep and dark places recently, all starting with that day where it had taken all my absolute willpower not to _touch_ him.

It hadn’t stopped me from bringing my body closer to his to the cave.

And my body certainly had a mind of its own, because it refused – _refused_ to listen as it had clamped around his that day he had come to my quarters and I had invited him in.

The thought had heat crawling up to my face. It was hard to take in the fact that I had er…cuddled…with someone younger than me, junior in rank, _and_ the daughter – I mean, _son_ of someone I greatly admired.

Of course, it had surprised me at first. Not shocked.

Because I had an inkling when I first saw her that she was unusual. The way she had interacted with others. And treated all as her equal, even her maids, even the footservant.

And _she_ had hit me powerfully in a way, touching places no one had ever touched. Places I hadn’t known had existed. So it had only been natural for me to recognize him right away – because he still carried himself the same. And then – the unnaturalness of the Lady Erin had all made sense. All clicked neatly into place. Because _this_ was her true self.

 _This_ was _him_ , truly free.

_Eren Yeager._

And I smiled to myself, because it fit. That life in that small mansion didn’t suit him. Sure, he looked absolutely gorgeous in a dress, and I admit that I would actually kill to see that again. But his true self was visible here – where there were no nobles to erect walls of ranks and status, where we were all truly free and able to speak our minds for what it was.

And deep inside, I admitted to myself.

That it didn’t matter if Lady Erin appeared to me first as a woman or a man.

That it didn’t matter if I found out that Lady Erin was in fact a man.

That it didn’t matter if I had first met Eren as a man.

And that it didn’t matter as long as Eren was Eren.

Because I was definitely in l-

“Leeeeviiiiiiiii!!!!”

The hyper screech of a certain madperson pierced sharply through my ears.

I masked my earlier slack-jawed expression with what I hoped was a convincing death glare.

“Shitty Glasses. I’m going to kill you.”

“Aww, don’t be upset now. You weren’t napping or anything, and you looked lonely, so I came to give you company!”

“I am not _lonely_.”

“Riiiiight. So anyway, who were you thinking about?”

“…”

They were sharp, and way more smarter than I gave them credit for. I’d have to be careful here.

I opted to take my waterskin and take a few sips to avoid their questions.

“Come on, Levi. It’s no secret that you’ve been rather carefully observing your young charge-”

The water chose this moment to go down the wrong pipe.

Coughing, I glared upwards to that maniacal smile plastered upon their face.

“This was planned, wasn’t it…” I muttered under my breath.

“Sorry?”

“Nothing. Don’t you need to go back your group?”

“Nah. I’ve already told them I’ll be a while. Collecting samples.”

They patted their abnormally large sack that they had put down on the ground earlier. Right. Of course, Hange was known for their crazy obsession with experiments and samples. Half the expedition would be lugging around their samples instead of food supplies at the end. But I couldn’t blame them – half the progress we had made in science was all thanks to them.

I grunted in response, nodding.

“As long as you didn’t collect any of those vile flesh-eating-bugs.”

“I didn’t find any this time!” their face fell, “But you would let me know if you find some, right?”

“No way in hell.”

“You’re mean! Anyway, you can’t distract me from the main issue here!”

Well, damn. You can’t blame me for trying.

“Levi. Look at me, Levi.”

I closed my eyes, and let out a deep breath. Might as well get this over with.

I lifted my chin to find their nose millimeters from mine.

“What the hell, Hange,” I managed to say calmly, used to their sudden movements over the years now.

They only grinned back in response.

“I like that look in your eyes,” they said cryptically. “It’s different than the one you had before. It’s like that certain someone lit a fire behind them, didn’t they?”

I didn’t say anything. They were completely right, of course.

“But you’re afraid of something. What’re you afraid of?”

I pushed away their face from mine, unable to hold their gaze.

“Nothing,” I muttered. I really couldn’t stop them from finding out everything anyways. There was a reason they were on our top “to protect” list. It wouldn’t be far from the truth to say that the purpose of many of these expeditions was to collect samples for Hange, because they were the key to the massive scientific progress Shinganshina was making. It made sense, considering their keen observation skills had saved the entire expedition multiple times, from predicting predator attacks, to preventing instances of food poisoning. They were in a sense our most valuable asset. I didn’t really stand a strong chance if there was something they _really_ wanted to find out.

“It doesn’t look like ‘nothing’ to me,” they muttered, retracing their face and thankfully sitting down comfortably next to me. “Talk to me. It’s useless to try to hide anything, because I probably already know.” They drew their knees up to their chin, turning their head to look expectantly at me.

I took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

“He’s – he wouldn’t want me,” I said simply. Hange maintained their silence, giving me a knowing look, as if to say to continue. _Let it all out,_ the look said. 

“I- there’s nothing to like about me. Hell, I don’t even know _if_ he likes me! He’ll probably think me strange for saying something to him. But I can’t stop thinking about him! I thought I left him behind to be safe that day. But he ran away! Ran away, and ran towards certain danger. Hange, I can’t protect him out here all the time. If something happens…if something happens…! Something already happened, and I can’t say I wasn’t relieved that I was there to make sure he was okay. But _anything_ can happen out here, Hange, you know that. I can’t…I can’t lose him…” my voice filtered down to a whisper.

“What? That’s all?”

“Huh?”

“Goodness Levi, you can be so silly!” they broke out in laughter.

My eyebrow twitched in irritation. “I did _not_ just pour out my thoughts for you to hear and have you laugh at me.”

“Sorry, sorry, not laughing! Not laughing at all!” They said in between large snorts and bursts of laughter and giggling.

A vein throbbed in my temple.

“That’s it-“

I made to get up.

“Levi.”

The gentle, but firm voice held me back.

“I’m sorry for laughing. But not for the reasons you think. Hear me out?”

I looked sideways at the unusually serious eyes behind the glasses, glinting with happiness and excitement. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to listen. I sat down again.

“I’m listening.”

“Oh.” They looked surprised, almost as if they didn’t expect me to actually listen. But they took it in stride, looking upwards at the wide sky and placing their fingers behind their head.

“Frankly, I thought you were upset about the fact that Lady Erin was in fact a man.”

I turned my head to look questioningly at them.

“I knew right away she was a man when we first met her at the mansion. But it seems Erwin and you didn’t realize it immediately back then. You looked so…worried and concerned over her then, especially when she was attacked. I also knew then she wouldn’t stay put in a place like that for too long. Her parents are well meaning. But she wanted a future for her own, and I didn’t see her to be the type to stay put, especially given how intently she was listening to you and your stories.”

I bit my bottom lip. Of course, I knew all of this. I knew she wouldn’t have wanted to stay in that mansion, but somewhere I had hoped she wouldn’t leave its safety. It had hurt to see her injured, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to see that again.

Hange breathed a light sigh. “You know, we humans are curious things. Curiosity lives in our bones. We are all out here, seeking answers, seeking freedom. And admit it Levi, you _know_ you saw a true adventurer when you first saw Lady Erin.”

I nodded slightly, unable to deny the bare truth.

“And that spirit pulled you to her – well, _him_. And here is why I had laughed. I personally thought after you found out the fact that Lady Erin was in fact all along a _man_ , Eren- you would retract into a shell, denying the fact that you had actually fallen for a man the entire time.”

I blinked at that, twice.

“Eh? Why would I do that?”

Hange looked at me, shrugging their shoulders.

“I guess I clearly misjudged you. Many people would question their feelings, especially after finding out they had been directed towards the wrong sex.”

I narrowed my eyes at that, muttering “that’s stupid.”

A wide grin split their face at that. “I’m so happy you think so! So therefore, if sex is not the issue, it is no denying the fact that you clearly like Eren, man or woman-”

The heat burned my face at those words.

“Ahhh Levi, are you blushing? Goodness, this is rare-”

“Not a word of this to anyone,” I spat out, “Or you won’t live to see another day.”

“I won’t tell,” they said seriously. “Anyway, so now that it’s clear that Eren cannot be stopped from running headfirst into danger, and there’s nothing you can do about it, what is there to worry about?”

I bit on my bottom lip.

“Exactly. The only thing now to supposedly _worry_ about, is weather he likes _you_.”

A lump formed in my throat. There it was. The one, haunting question. The big question-

“Levi, it’s okay. You can relax.”

Their hand fell gently over mine. My fingers were tightly fisted in the deep green fabric of my cape. I tried to let my fingers relax, releasing the fabric slowly and smoothing it out.

“I know what you’re afraid of. The questions that are probably going inside of your head. What if he says no?” Hange continued.

My fingers tightened again in response.

A light laughter.

“Don’t be so nervous! Trust me, I was in the same position once.”

I blinked, especially as this was coming from Hange.

“The funny thing was, Moblit said the same thing after we got married. He was so nervous, he wouldn’t admit that he had the same worries as I did. But look at where we are now.”

A fond smile blossomed on their face.

“I still give him a lot of grief, though. Trust me, Levi. You have nothing to fear. Tell him what’s on your mind, how you feel. If you ask me, it’s long overdue. And I also know you’re afraid of losing him. But aren’t we all? But remember he’s been trained with Shardis of all people. And I know he can hold his own- as you know how he protected his best friend on his own from no less than _three_ wolfdogs until you arrived to save his ass. We all know most newbies don't live to tell the tale after _one_ encounter.”

I raised my eyebrow at that.

“What? I'm only telling the truth. Actually, you should be glad he ran away from home. He got proper military training, which gives him a higher survival chance both in the wild and back in the cities. The thugs and mercenaries that gave him trouble back then won’t have a chance now against a seasoned soldier. So worrying about his safety is useless, Levi. Your energy is better spent on _doing_ _things_ , if you know what I mean.”

“I’m going to pretend I don’t understand what you’re implying there.”

“But Leviiii! You know you want to know how it would feel like to k-”

The rest of their words were blocked forcefully as a courtesy visit from my hand that decided it would be a good time as any to slap itself tight over their mouth.

“Mmmpphh. Mpppghhh!” They continued.

“You’re done here,” I glared, removing my hand and wiping it on my handkerchief. “Gross.”

The only response I received was a smug smirk.

“Well then, good luck Levi!”

A quick wave and a wink later, they were gone in a flash.

I let out a deep breath. Strangely, my shoulders felt lighter. They were right, and the conversation earlier had really helped. But what remained to be done hadn’t been made any easier.

Sighing, I got up to brush myself off as I caught sight of a certain wide eyed brat headed this way with a goofy grin on his face.

 

***      ***      ***

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 19 is Part 2 of "The end of the expedition". Not the end of the story though, still got a long ways to go! :D


	19. The End of the Expedition – Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What I have been dying to write! Finally!  
> As promised, here is part 2 of this chapter!  
> Enjoy!

**_Eren_ **

The expedition was nearing an end, with little to no incidents marring our progress. We had mapped a significant portion of the new terrain, and collected hundreds of new samples, mostly under the direction of Hange and her science team.

I popped a ripe jingleberry into my mouth, loving the tart yet sweet taste.

I held out the bag.

“You have to try these, Captain Levi, they’re delicious,” I said.

“I’m sure they are.”

Heat crept from my stomach to my face. He had not been looking at the berries when he had said that.

He now casually took some, his hand accidentally brushing mine. It lingered for a moment while grabbing those few berries, and he retracted his hand slowly. The contact raised goosebumps on my arms, and I was vaguely aware of him saying something.

His hum of pleasure alerted me that he had found the berries equally…tasteful.

His eyes suddenly darted over my face, lingering over my mouth.  

His hand was raised, approaching my face. My heart threatened to hammer right out of my chest, and everything felt all too constricted at once.

“You have a leaf stuck to your face,” he said, gently prying the small leaf of a berry from my face. “Be careful, these have fine hairs that can cause irritation if they touch your skin for too long.”

His hands. Fingers. On my face. Touching. Me. I’m sure he could feel my face on fire, but he said nothing.

Instead his fingers were gentle, gliding over the side of my mouth where the leaf had been stuck. How many leaves were there? His hand was still there…and my heart really couldn’t take this any more. And I had definitely stopped breathing a while back. If I didn’t die from a stopped heart, it would be because of asphyxiation.

Finally, his cool fingers left the furnace that was my face, and I could breathe again.

I was greatly rethinking the whole thing.

I couldn’t do this.

 

***      ***      ***

 

It was hard to see ahead. Darkness was falling quickly, and the rocky and difficult terrain made it difficult to navigate without a torch. The expedition party continued without rest – our goal being a series of natural rocks at the top of a large hill. We had not run into any more trouble – but snakes and other nasty creatures were bound to be out and about soon. We weren’t in a particularly good position, but of course, Commander Smith had been aware of that.

We hadn’t found a suitable camping spot as the last spurt of the expedition unexpectedly took us to a rocky and rather hilly region. It wasn’t until late that the expedition’s spotters had marked down a safe spot for everyone on top of a hill somewhat far away.

Word passed down that the terrain there got significantly rockier, and unreachable by riding on our horses. Everyone dismounted, carefully leading our horses to the top on foot, where we would have a clear view of the land around us to scan for danger, and also where the larger, nastier creatures would have a hard time reaching us.

Torches were soon lit, but the shortage of wood to go around left me and Levi without one. We navigated ourselves in the semi-darkness, Levi using the torch held by Petra and Oluo a ways ahead of us as a guide. We followed the bobbing trail of lights far up ahead, as I focused on the steady clip-clop made by our horses on the rocks, squinting at the dark figures ahead of me.

Which was probably my mistake for not looking where I was going, as my boot promptly got stuck between two large rocks, and then I was falling.

“Damn it,” I hissed, rubbing my knee, which had politely taken most of the damage. It felt sore, and I kicked the rocks in defiance. Grabbing the rein of my horse again, I made to continue on my way, but was stopped when I bumped into a shorter figure.

“You hurt anywhere?”

All my blood instantly went to my face at the concerned voice.

“N-no,” I stuttered lamely. “I’m fine. Just- my boot got stuck-”

“Here.”

“Huh?”

It was getting harder to see anything. I squinted down to see what he was referring to, eyebrows furrowed.

“Tch. _Here_ , brat.”

The breath caught in my throat as a warm hand closed over mine. Now I was really in danger of falling, because my knees were on the verge of giving out.

A light tug had me moving- stumbling really, after him.

His hand felt warm. And comfortable. And just right. It was strange because his hand was warm, but his fingertips felt cool. I was now glad of the darkness more than ever, because no one would be able to see my crimson-red face. I stumbled slightly again, which caused him to tighten his grip over me. I tightened my grip in return, wanting to touch more of the soft skin. I cursed the fact that my other hand was firmly wrapped around my horse’s reins leading it, because I had this urge to enclose his hand in both of mine.

He slowed his pace now, possibly because of rougher terrain – and I was right as we both stepped carefully over rocks protruding everywhere, stopping to cajole our horses forward here and there.

We were walking side by side now. I shifted my hand slightly in his to make it more comfortable due to our new position. Gently…carefully. Uh...he seemed to have noticed.

I quickly looked away, pretending to look innocent – wait, why did I need to look away, it was completely dark! We could barely see each other’s outlines now, with the minimum light available from Petra’s torch ahead.

My quick breathing started to become irregular once I realized he had also shifted his hand in mine in response to my earlier movements. I loosened my fingers to allow him access, and he slipped in his fingers between mine, and I in his. Our palms were now fully touching, fingers intertwined.  

I couldn’t believe this was happening. This- this had to _mean_ something, right? I mean, no one would hold hands like this with someone else to lead them so they wouldn’t fall, right? Right?

Heart madly hammering away in my chest, I knew my poor ribcage wouldn’t last long. It would be shattered by the force of my pounding heart every single time this man showed me an undeserved bout of affection. I had to say something. Anything.

“Captain Lev-”

“Just Levi,” came his voice in the darkness.

“Huh?”

“You heard me. If something happens out here, using my title takes too long. Just call me Levi.”

“Uh…o..okay. Cap- I mean, Le-Levi…” I stuttered.

“What, brat.”

“N-nothing…”

“…”

I _really_ couldn’t do this.

 

***      ***      ***

 

“..en. Eren. Wake up.”

“Mgh?”

I opened my eyes blearily to find those steely greys hovering above mine. My heart instantly sped up a few beats. Oh yes, my poor ribcage definitely didn’t have long.

My vision tried to adjust to the torchlight. It was still pitch black outside. It must be our turn to take the watch.

Suppressing a yawn, I shivered as I took my blanket with me, drawing my cloak tightly around myself. We carefully stepped around a few other sleeping members, all snoring peacefully. I stepped on something soft – probably someone’s fingers – and received a loud sleepy complaint – oh, nevermind, it was horseface. Too bad I didn’t step on his face instead, maybe it would make him look better.

I caught Armin and Mikasa side by side – Armin had a peaceful look on his face, and he was gripping Mikasa’s sleeve tightly. It was endearing, really. Mikasa looked peaceful as well, sleeping ramrod straight on her back as usual.

I smiled softly, stopping to look at their faces.

“Oi, brat. We don’t have all night. Stare at them later.”

“R-Right.”

I felt slightly disappointed he had reverted to “brat” instead of my name. Not that I cared when he called me by my name. It didn’t make me happy or anything, not at all.

I followed Ca- Levi, I mean, around the large rock outcrop that sheltered the expedition group. We climbed higher, spotting the large torch stuck to the ground. Even higher, a smaller rock was visible with the outline of a soldier.

“Gunter,” Levi acknowledged once we reached the lookout rock. “Any trouble?”

“Quiet as a mouse,” he replied, slowly climbing down the last steep part of the large rock. “I’ll turn in now. Leave it to you, Captain.”

Levi nodded, his back to me as he started climbing the rock. I waited until he was on the very top of the large, vertical rock. It stuck out large and proud on the top of the hill, high above the rest of the rock outcroppings. It made for the perfect spot for the watch, with a clear view of the surrounding hills and terrain. The nearest torch burned on the ground, which we had passed on our way. We brought no torch with us on the watch, as the light from the torch would prevent us from seeing anywhere in the dark.

“Oi, brat. You coming?”

His deep voice had me scrambling for the rock’s ledge. I slowly climbed, finding purchase on its many footholds and grooves. Reaching the top, I noticed a very small, flat area for both of us to be sitting on. Which also left me little to no room to push myself to the very top.

“Grab on,” was all I received, so I extended my hand, feeling warm digits once again grasp my hand firmly. As I was pulled singlehandedly onto the rock, I marveled at his strength, but to be frank, my thoughts were a bit distracted by our close proximity.

Because (fortunately?) the rock barely had enough room for just one of us, it would be a miracle to fit us both. He steadied me as I teetered, holding my body close to his.

My chest was pressed up firmly against his body, and I couldn’t ignore the light but firm hand on my back, preventing me from falling backwards. I could also smell him now. He smelled so…nice. And he was warm. So _very_ warm.

We both managed to sit precariously, back to back.

I was now technically watching his back. And he was watching mine. The thought made me feel almost giddy – well, actually my thoughts were coming in no particular order now.

Especially because I had realized he still hadn’t let go of my hand.

We both sat, backs pressed up against each other – until the sun rose over the horizon.

Watch forgotten, we both stared in the same direction as the sun, marveling in its early morning beauty. The sky was dyed a bright pink and blue as the warm rays bathed our skins. I breathed deeply in the fresh morning air, reaching up to stretch my arms only to realize with a jolt that our hands were still connected.

Both of us let go at once, as Levi muttered something about getting the next watch as he climbed down, leaving me to stare at the spot the warm hand had been gently holding onto me the entire time.

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

My hands felt empty.

Technically, I had my hands full – I was after all, gripping the reins of my horse with both hands. But somehow, they felt empty.

But last night’s watch lay fresh on my mind – and I definitely had not missed the few of many times Eren had looked over at me, especially during that sunrise. He had smiled at me, thinking I hadn’t noticed, so I had maintained my usual resolute stare in the distance.

I looked at him now as he maintained the steady pace beside me. I had opted to let him control the pace today, and he had set it at a comfortable rhythm, matching it with the rest of the groups scattered around us.

The expedition was now headed back towards headquarters, more or less following the general direction we had set out from. Around midday, the expedition stopped for a luncheon break near some woods. Mike trotted over to us with a message from Erwin.

“We’re going to be running low on supplies soon, so Erwin says this is to be a hunting break as well. Hange says there’s lots of wild turkey in those woods,” he said, pointing.

Well, damn you, Erwin Smith.

“We’ll be splitting the entire expedition to thirds; one group for firewood, one for supplies, and one for game. Levi, you’re to lead the hunter group,” he nodded over his shoulder at the small group approaching us now. “Good luck.”

The group looked at me expectantly, and several averted their gazes when I glared at them. Well, then.

“Stick together in your pairs. I’ll see you all out here in two hours.”

The group didn’t move, so I clicked my tongue in irritation.

“You heard me. What’re you all waiting for, damn turkeys falling on your plates?”

Several winced.

A brown-haired girl with tell-tale signs of food around her mouth spoke up. Sasha, I think her name was. A bald kid with an idiotic expression sat on the horse next to her.

“Erm, Captain, Sir, we haven’t been exactly told…what we’re to do…”

“Tch.”

Damn Erwin, didn’t he explain simple things to people before sending them off to me? He _knew_ I hated talking, that bastard.

“We’re hunting. Apparently running low on supplies. Hunt whatever you want, just don’t scare away the game with any loud noises. If you run into anything nasty, take care of it. Gets too much to handle, call for help with a red flare. Understood?”

Many nods, all at once. The girl pulled out her bow from behind her and readied her arrow.

“Good. Then stop gawking here like fools, and bring back some results.”

No one lingered to see the deadly glare that followed. I sighed internally.

“Let’s go, brat.”

The brat wasn’t half-bad. He had racked up three of those damn birds, but I wasn’t doing so bad myself with five. The wood thickened a bit ahead, and I indicated us both to dismount. Tying off our horses, we proceeded on foot, spotting a few birds up ahead. I motioned for Eren to circle around, and he understood, breaking off silently to the left. If we got these birds, it would be enough to last us until we returned to headquarters.

I crouched low now, watching the balls of feather pecking away at the ground for food. I spotted the brat opposite me, eyeing the same birds. There were about five of them. If I was quick enough, I could nail three. I nodded to Eren to handle the two on my left. We both readied our crossbows, aiming a bit higher than the targets. I reached behind to grab three arrows, and slowly stepped back to get a better angle.

Tsk.

This wasn’t working, I needed to move slightly farther away – I stepped back another step, focusing intently on the birds. Another step-

Suddenly, the world was tilting, and full of squawking and feathers.

“Levi!”

I saw two wide green eyes in front of me in a flash, gripping my arm in a vice-like hold. I was teetering on the edge of a cliff.

“Ghh,” he strained, giving my arm a strong tug. My body’s balance kicked in, straining forward as my foot found solid ground again; my body crashing into his. His arms immediately closed around my body, holding it tight. Pressed close, I could hear his heart slamming in his ribcage. We were both breathing hard, as we knew it had been a close one. I looked behind me at the sheer cliff drop – not too high, but precarious. I peeked around him to see the path he had smashed through the turkeys to get to me.

Heart still beating wildly from the experience, I allowed myself to be held by him.

“What the hell, Levi! Please…be careful…”

His voice quavered in his chest. I felt something warm blossom in my stomach. I felt light and airy, and a bit like moments before when I had felt nothing but air underneath my foot.

“We…shouldn’t be standing here,” I managed to mumble.

 He said nothing and just held me tighter; but pulled us both back a few steps to safer, solid ground.

The tight hold was becoming a bit uncomfortable now, but I relished in the proximity, in the closeness of our bodies. Was it just me, or did it just get hotter?

My arms moved themselves around his body now, without the direct permission of my brain.

Damn you, hands.

I felt him stiffen slightly at the gesture.

I needed to make him understand how much I cared.

How much I appreciated him.

“…Thanks,” was all I could say.

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

 

**_Eren_ **

 We hadn’t moved. I felt very conscious about his arms around my body, coming to a rest on my lower back.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say my heart had almost stopped when I had noticed him step backwards. It had taken me a moment previously to realize that the ground ended suddenly behind him. I meant to warn him, but he had stepped back before I could say anything.

So I did the only thing I could do – I had moved.

His name came out strangled between my lips, and I was barging through the damn brush- birds and all. I caught his arm just in time – he teetered backwards at an angle, no support beneath one foot. I braced my own feet before giving it one large tug to bring his body crashing into mine.

So close. That was too close.

And I couldn’t let him go since then.

Because I had realized how much he really meant to me. How I wanted him, _needed_ him to be around me.

I stood there, feeling his heart hammer away against my chest, feeling how hard it beat.

_I want him all to myself._

I tugged him backwards to safety afterwards, still refusing to let go of the older man.

“Thanks,” a small but firm voice came from my shoulder. I blinked, looking down.

Only to catch his heavily lidded steel-grey eyes boring into mine. They held an unspeakable warmth, one I couldn’t describe, one I couldn’t help but crave.

“…Just…glad…you’re okay…” I whispered. Why was I whispering? Why couldn’t I say these words out loud and properly? His eyelashes were so long. His porcelain skin spread across my vision as I found myself gazing into those deep eyes. His face was getting closer, and I was now more aware of my heart hammering away madly at my ribs – it really hurt.

My throat constricted, and my breaths came shorter.

“Let’s call it even, then.”

His words instantly drew my attention to his lips. Those soft, pink lips, a bit moist around the edges. I couldn’t look away.

“Let’s not…make it a habit,” I squeaked, unable to think clearly anymore. His nose was centimeters from mine, my head bent down slightly. My palms were sweaty around his body, and I felt the warmth, reveled in it, as I held him close, no space between us.

“I don’t mind,” his deep voice had dropped lower, “if it means I get to do this. Eren.”

His eyes twinkled playfully.

The breath caught in my throat at my name.

The way it rumbled in his chest. The way he played with it on his tongue. The voice that spoke my name, and my name alone, as we stood here.

Silence surrounded us. There was nothing else in the world. Nothing except me and Levi.

Levi.

Levi.

Levi.

Levi.

I wanted him.

I needed him.

I didn’t want to let him go.

He needed to stay here, beside me.

I had to let him know.

I had to tell him.

Tell him.

Tell him.

Tell him!

My voice.

Where was my voice? Breathe.

There.

Now speak. Let him know. Let him know these words that want to escape your chest, your lungs; unclenching the knots in your stomach, and your heart. Let him know your deepest thoughts, the wildest thoughts that you were so afraid to speak.

You can do it.

You can tell him.

And so, a small breath escaped my lips, preparing for the inevitable.

“Lev-”

Warm lips closed over mine, the rest of my words sucked right out through my nose. I stood, dumbfounded, not believing.

And time stopped.

_This couldn’t be actually happening!_

My ribs complained painfully, as my knees suddenly lost their strength. His hold over me tightened, reminding me of the present.

_This was **real.**_

Overwhelmed, I closed my eyes, savoring in the taste. The loss of vision sharply brought into focus all my other senses. We were touching. Our bodies. The loud hammering of my heart. The lack of air in my lungs. I finally pressed back, returning the kiss.

“Mm,” was a soft response. My ears were unbelieving, so I pressed slightly harder, yearning to hear it again. I was rewarded, pleasure shooting up my spine.

We broke our chaste kiss, and I was left gasping for air. Breathing hard, I looked into those stormy eyes, slightly glazed over now. Was that…desire I saw? Did I have the same look in my eyes at the moment, too?

Holy shit, was a simple kiss from the man enough to send me over the edge? It had felt like _I_ had been the one falling from the cliff instead of him.

I breathed hard, trying to calm down, but I couldn’t.

My gaze lingered on his face, unable to look away. I shifted my arms unconsciously to press our bodies closer, even though it was physically impossible. My hand traveled upwards, past his bare skin on his neck. He shuddered – or maybe it was me, I wasn’t sure anymore, as he mimicked my actions, neither of us noticing anything else.

I ran my fingers over the soft shorter hairs at the base of his head, rubbing small circles and coming to a rest over the longer ones. I was vaguely aware of him doing the same, and it felt _so_ good. I would have never imagined it would feel _this_ good to have someone touch your hair.

My gaze still bored into his, marveling at the power behind those eyes. Untold happiness was blooming in my chest, unable to look away – not willing to part from this moment.

_He had accepted me._

The emotion too powerful, my fingers fisted themselves roughly in his hair and dragged him closer. I think he might have done the same, as our lips collided this time.

This- _this_ was _nothing_ like our first. The first had been soft, gentle, nervous even – questioning, accepting, and slow.

Now that I knew I wasn’t unwanted, I attacked those lips with full force. My breaths came in short bursts, as I felt my chest heaving with effort. I felt a tongue swipe against my lips, and I parted mine easily and willingly, savoring the taste of him.

He tasted _divine._

I sucked on his tongue, hungry for more. And he gave it to me. I could vaguely feel my fingers still fisted tightly in his hair as he roughly yanked my head towards him. He was breathing hard too, and it made another lighting bolt of pleasure shoot through my spine to know that _I_ had been the cause. I closed my eyes and savored his lips as I stumbled backwards. He steered me gently to a tree trunk, and we both stood there, using it for support, as we devoured each other.

He was so gentle. Despite our roughness, he never hurt me once.

He invaded me, and I welcomed him with open arms, like a long lost friend. His lips felt _right_ on mine, and I wondered how I had survived so long without this. _This_ \- I _needed_ this.  

He took my bottom lip in his, gently sucking on it before letting go. We panted against each other, breathing in each other’s air. The moment only lasted a second, as the addicting taste of his lips had mine pressing up against his again, unable to wait another moment.

Our rough trade slowly dissolved into small, gentle presses. It had taken me a while to do it, but now I balanced the pressure of my lips against his. I tilted my head more, and suddenly it was more comfortable. I could get used to this.

My hand cupped the back of his head, and he had moved his hand to the back of my neck. He moved his kisses to my chin, and slowly to my throat. I tensed at the tickle of breath against my neck, feeling goosebumps erupt all over me. I threw my head back, hitting it against the tree.

“Ow!”

“Pfft…”

Surprised, I looked down, removing my hand from the back of his head to rub at mine.

“Pfft….ahaha….hahahaha….hahahahaha!!”

I blinked, looking at his figure positively shaking with mirth against my body. Levi’s laughter was pleasant and deep. It also did something very strange to me, because suddenly, the military-grade pants issued to me felt very tight. The blood must have also rushed to my face as well, because my face felt ready to bake.

“How could you forget there was a tree right behind you?” he said between bursts of laughter. His laughter then slowed and faded, and I missed it instantly.

I grinned shyly.  “You made me forget.”

I don’t think it was possible for anyone’s face to turn that red that quickly. My stomach flopped a few times, and I gulped. Everything this man did was bad for my heart.

“…you,” Levi whispered, barely audible.

I gulped, unsure of what I had heard. He now looked me in the eye, relaxing his hold around me and taking in my gaping expression.

“Damn it, you’re going to make me say it again.”

I simply stared at him stupidly.

He sighed, closing his eyes. He opened them again, fiercely staring into my eyes. I felt my heart jump to my throat.

“I know it’s a bit late for this, but - Eren Yeager, will you allow me to court you?”

Well, damn. He beat me to it.

 

 ***      ***      ***

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I'm a massive sucker for slow builds, here we go! Whew, took 19 chapters to get here... //heheheh//  
> Sorry for the long wait, everyone!  
> Anyways, they still have a ways to go, so please keep reading!  
> I really appreciate everyone's comments, it really keeps me going! XD  
> THANK YOUUUU!!!!


	20. The Manners of a Lady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, Sorry for the delayed update! Since I updated two chapters back to back last time, this time it took me longer to get myself on track and update this next chapter >.> Fear not, starting this week, I will be back to my regular weekly updates :D  
> This kind of delay is definitely rare and few and far between :)  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter with Eren and Levi and all the cuteness I keep wanting to dump in!! //regrets nothing//

 

 ***      ***      *** 

**_Eren_ **

“What’s wrong, Eren? Your face is a little red. Are you sick?”

Krista’s concerned look filled my view. A small warm hand reached up to touch my forehead, gently pressing the fingers against the flat area.

“Oh! You’re burning up! Eren, I really think you’re sick!”

“No, no, Krista, I’m fine!” I countered hastily, gently removing her hand from my temple. “Thanks for worrying, but I’m fine, really!” I gave her a big smile to show her that I was completely _fine,_ dammit-

A little snort reached my ears. I glanced to the side to see his impassive face, but knew without a doubt he had let that little snort slip. But it seemed no one else had noticed.

“Um…Captain Levi…you look a little red, too. Are you alright? Perhaps you’ve caught the same ailment as Eren?” Krista nervously inquired.

Now it was my turn to snort. He sent a quick, harsh glare towards my direction before answering her.

“I’m fine, Krista. No need to worry about us. Our prey just made us give a bit of a chase, just a little red from all the running, is all.”

Noone argued with him, although I was sure they were questioning why we had managed to catch only eight of those damn birds between the both of us, especially since Levi was known not to miss a single target.

“A small cougarlion disturbed all our prey,” I supplied, hoping to make our story more convincing. “So we had to…erm…really chase those remaining birds down. They all got away in the thick brush, though,” I said, trying to keep my voice stable. The flashbacks his warm lips on mine surrounded by the thick brush still lay fresh within my mind-

“Eren?” Krista noticed the deepening red in my face immediately.

“Oh! Just- trying to catch my breath. Ahahahaha…” I finished lamely, hoping she would drop the topic.

Fortunately, Levi seemed to feel the same and chose the moment to distract everyone.

“Alright, is everyone back? Let’s run a quick head count before heading out to meet up with the main group.”

It was soon revealed two were missing.

“Anyone who knows Sasha and Connie’s last location, come forward,” Levi growled irritably.

I bit my lip nervously. They were both significantly past the rendez-vous time. What had happened to them? I gripped my reins tight and shot a quick look at Levi. He wasn’t looking at me, as he was looking and listening intently at Reiner and Bertolt, who were giving their detailed account of their last contact with Sasha and Connie. His eyebrows were pinched heavily together, suddenly making him look much more older, and so, _so tired._

Worry immediately rumbled within my stomach, and concern for our comrades became apparent in the group. Sasha had apparently spotted a boar she had wanted to hunt, and Connie had chased after her to keep her company. They had split from Reiner and Bertolt, who had vaguely been able to remember the direction in which they had sped off.

“You lot, head back to the main group,” Levi instructed. “The tall one, you better give me a solid pointer to which direction they were headed to,” he said, glaring at Bertolt.

Bertolt nervously gave detailed directions and markers, while the rest headed back in a slow but sure trot towards the main group. I stood still, unmoving. Levi wasn’t coming back with us. He was going to go look for those two.

He would be going alone.

Without a second thought, I immediately pulled my reins, forcing my horse to pull up next to Levi’s.

“I’m going with you.”

“Wha-”

But Levi never had the chance to finish.

“OOOIIIII!!”

A high-pitched squeal reached our ears. All of us snapped up, listening for the source.

“Over hereeeee!” Galloping hooves. And…was that the sound of _two_ voices?

Bertolt, Levi, and I squinted, observing the small trail of dust in the distance which was gradually becoming larger.

“What on earth…” Levi muttered, while my eyes grew large, taking in the sight.

Sasha and Connie were trotting towards us, dragging a large – no, HUGE boar between them. Their horses struggled with the effort of pulling the ridiculous weight of the boar and looked ready to collapse.

Bertolt looked frozen, mouth gaping open in astonishment.

“Oi, stop staring and go help them,” Levi snapped. I snapped my reins, immediately going up to meet Sasha and Connie. I could hear Levi supply instructions to Bertolt to go and call back a few people from the hunting group. Reiner and Ymir soon joined me in tugging the large boar back to where Levi was waiting. The rest of the hunting group soon joined us, relieved at Sasha and Connie’s safe return, and whooping and gaping at the large catch. I made my way to the center of the group to take a proper look at the boar – and boy, was it _massive._

“Sasha killed it all by herself,” Connie said proudly, rubbing his finger under his nose on his upper lip. He flashed a grin to everyone, as if he had done it himself. “That’s my girl!” he said, thumping Sasha on the back.

I looked closely at the now dead boar. It had an arrow protruding out of its left eye, a trail of blood matting its fur underneath. Underneath the collapsed boar, I could see another large arrow sticking straight out of its chest. That arrow had most likely penetrated the heart itself.

“Two straight shots,” Connie supplemented, catching me staring.

I nodded, impressed at Sasha’s skill with the bow and arrow. I’d known she was really skilled with it, but this was my first time seeing the results in the flesh.

“Not bad.”

A sudden hush fell over the group. Everyone turned to look at Levi. Sasha looked stunned, her jaw hanging slightly open. It looked like she had a hard time believing that the compliment had come from Captain Levi himself.

“Tha-Thank you, Captain…” Sasha muttered, twiddling her fingers.

“But not good enough. You two fuckers took too long to return to the group. Had I not  _specifically_ instructed to come back within a certain time? If a catch is too big to haul back by yourself, especially since it would slow you down, don’t fucking go after it,” Levi snapped.

Sasha whimpered and Connie flinched, but there was no venom in Levi’s tone.

“Next time, fire a smoke signal, or leave it in a conspicuous place. Then go find your comrades and have them help you with it,” Levi said, his tone softer. “Rely on your comrades and friends more. Otherwise, it will get you killed.”

I smiled, despite myself. _This_ is why I found myself pining for his company, his presence. Because beneath his tough exterior lay a being so kind, so gentle, so caring, so thoughtful, and so – _amazing_. What had I done to deserve his attention? He was too nice, and too perfect. I longed to reach out and touch those pale, slim fingers, and wrap my arms around his body, and never let go. I wanted to touch his short, sleek strands of hair, and nuzzle my nose against the side of his neck. I wanted to-

“Oi, Eren, snap out of it!”

I blinked, looking at Ymir holding out a large piece of raw boar. It looked to be half of one of its hind legs.

“Take it already,” she snapped. “We’re cutting it up, so we can all carry it back to the main group in pieces.”  
I nodded, scrunching up my nose at the strong smell of the boar fur and fresh blood. I secured the piece of meat to the side of my horse, making sure it wasn’t too heavy a load for my mount.

“Hurry up, you little shits,” Levi snapped. “The smell is soon going to attract some pretty fucking big uninvited guests.”

I felt a chill run up my entire body at his words. He was right. The stench of the boar was unmistakable and the fresh blood was sure to attract some nasty predators. But the boar had been too large to carry or drag, and the best way had been to cut it up. Levi barked instructions at Jean to leave the head behind, and the group hastened to make its way back to the main group.

 

 ***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

We had been pretty damn lucky. We made it back to the main group in one piece, and set out again only to make camp several miles away when the sun had been about to set. I felt a little exposed in our current camping spot, but the skies were clear, and we could see miles around us as we were on a plain. Which meant we could hopefully see danger coming from far away, but one could never tell. Several burning campfires had most of the scouts huddled around their warmth, while the perimeter guards kept watch in a circle surrounding us. The mood was cheery and light, both from no losses indicating the success of the expedition so far, and also the good hunting catch made earlier in the day.

I wrapped my fingers around the warm wooden bowl in my hand, the entrancing smell of fresh wild boar stew wafting to my nose. I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder and turned to find Erwin looking down at me.

“What,” I asked, turning away to look down at my food. I took a spoonful and blew on it before eating it, liking the savory taste of the boar. Erwin didn’t seem to mind that I was trying hard to ignore him, and sat down next to me. I grimaced, still not forgetting that he had dumped me to lead the hunting group earlier today.

“I knew the hunt would be successful with you leading it,” Erwin commented. I snorted.

“I didn’t do shit. That Sasha girl managed to corner and shoot the beast by herself.”

“Yes, but they wouldn’t have made it back in one piece if you hadn’t had them cut it up and bring it back in pieces. It would have slowed them down too much to be prey for those nasty predators. Although, I have to say, the smell did attract a few nearby cougarlions.”

I looked back at Erwin at that.

“I didn’t hear about this,” I said quietly.

“No, because you were at the front. The groups at the back reported spotting a few chasing our group. They were nothing to worry about however, they were easily scared away with some noise from gunfire and a few torches,” Erwin explained.

I nodded. Those things were fast, but were afraid of loud noise and fire. The ones in this area were small in size as well, so they didn’t pose as big of a threat as the gigantic wolfdogs.

“But your catch this time with Eren was surprisingly small, if I may say so myself,” Erwin mused. “If I recall correctly, your smallest catch so far. Only eight, while I’ve known you to singlehandedly bring back atleast twenty on average.”

“On _average_ ,” I reminded him. “Today happened to be less than that. We didn’t have the fortune to find that many.”

“Hmm, I wonder. I know your tracking skills are second to none, Levi. Hange had also informed me that plenty of those birds should have been available now, so you should have easily found more, despite your excuses that the nearby cougarlions had chased them away. I wonder…if something happened with Eren?”

I nearly choked on my next spoonful of stew, coughing to lighten the burning feeling in my throat and nose.

“Wh-why would you think that?” I said between coughs, eyes watering.

Erwin waited for my coughing to subside. Surprised at the silence, I turned to find him watching me. Thinking. Studying me. I narrowed my eyes, feeling a slight chill run up my spine which had nothing to do with the chill outside. Those calculating eyes bored into mine, frankly making me feel a little uncomfortable. I knew what this man was capable of. And I knew if he truly suspected something, it wouldn’t be long before he found out.

“No reason,” Erwin suddenly said, his tone light. I glared daggers at his eyes, and his stupidly large eyebrows. “But if you have something to tell me, Levi, I’m always all ears. So feel free.”

His eyes twinkled, and a mischievous grin slipped past his features.

He suddenly got up to leave, brushing off the dirt and grass off of himself.

“I won’t tell anyone.”

And with that, he was gone, green cape fluttering. I didn’t drop my glare, vaguely aware of my jaw hanging slightly open. Of course he suspected. And most likely knew, too. That fucker, he was just playing with me-

“Levi?”

The gentle voice had me turning my neck so fast it cricked. I rubbed at it, feeling warmth suddenly pool into my stomach. Dammit, this couldn’t keep happening every single time, or my heart wouldn’t be able to take it.

“Can I…can I sit next to you?”

I could make out his large eyes in the flickering light from the fire. The held a bowl in his hands, warming himself with it while his right clutched a spoon. I patted the ground next to me, beckoning him with my chin, once.

A look of pure joy spread out on his face. I could see his wide grin as he almost stumbled to sit down next to me. If he kept this up, I really wouldn’t be able to keep my hands to myself.

“You haven’t eaten much,” he noted, frowning as he peered into my bowl of stew. “Don’t you like it? I really like it, Petra did a fantastic job with it.”

He hummed, chewing on the meat. “’S delishious,” he muttered, eating more. I scrunched my face in disgust.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, that’s nasty,” I snapped, but it came out light. “What happened to the manners you learned as a Lady? And I like the stew too, it’s just that Erwin was talking to me earlier. I didn’t have a chance to eat much.”

He nodded in understanding this time, remembering not to talk while eating. Good, this brat learned quickly. 

Eren gave a light laugh which warmed me up instantly, faster than the hot stew.

“I really haven’t been much for manners and etiquette and all that,” he laughed. “It was just hard _not_ to after being surrounded by people all the time that reminded you to do things their way. I have to admit, it really feels great to do what I want. I’ll still mind my manners, of course.” He sent me a devious grin that sent my heart a flutter. I adjusted myself on the ground, moving closer to him as a result - I hope he didn’t notice.

We spent the next moments in comfortable silence, eating our stew. Mine was still hot, but cooling rapidly as I finished off the last bits in the bowl. I was vaguely aware that our sides were now touching. How had that happened?

“That stew was really good,” Eren sighed in contentment. I glanced at him, seeing a lazy smile plastered across his face. It sent another wave of butterflies across my stomach – everything he did seemed to have a tendency to do that to me.

“Ulp,” he said, passing a small burp next. I scrunched my nose in disgust, but was unable to stop the small snort that had already passed my nose. Eren turned to look at me in amusement, while I tried to make a serious face – and beautifully failed, passing a small burp myself. I slapped a hand over my mouth in horror, while Eren looked at me with wide eyes.

“Pfft…” Eren quickly clammed up, looking at me with fearful wide eyes, wondering if I would kill him first.

I glared in his general direction, but it did nothing to stop his snorts leaking out as they dissolved into guffaws, laugh after laugh booming from his chest, his stomach heaving from the effort. I tried to maintain my glare, I really did. But it held up for about a second before his contagious laugh infected my face, and soon, I was left a laughing mess on the ground.

“What happened to…minding…manners?” Eren gasped between laughs.

“Shut up…” I murmured, finally calming down.

“The stew was really good after all, huh.”

“…so what if it was.”

He calmed down as well, and the comfortable silence settled over us once more. I missed his laugh now, it had been so full of warmth, filling the air with the sounds of his happiness. What I would do to keep that forever.

“Sasha did a good job of hunting it down, huh. Everyone keeps telling her she’s an amazing hunter.”

“Hn.”

Silence. But this time, an uncomfortable one. I could feel Eren’s discomfort next to me on the ground, and he was fidgeting. It couldn’t be…

“Does it bother you?”

His body twitched at my question, but he said nothing. I sighed.

“Eren,” I said. He still didn’t say anything, just stayed silent and continued staring at the ground.

“Eren, look at me,” I said, my tone softening. My hand reached up to hold his chin. He immediately turned to look at me in the eye, his eyes wide and sparkling. I tried not to stare at his slightly parted lips, and that perfect nose.

“My compliments to her bother you that much, huh? You’re jealous. So cute.”

Eren huffed. “I’m not jealous!” I raised an eyebrow at his cry. “Alright, so maybe slightly…just a little bit…”

I sighed. “Sasha might have done a decent job with the boar, and we may have been a bit…distracted to get any real hunting done,” I said, ignoring the heat threatening to seep into my cheeks, “but I wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t pull me back from that cliff edge when you did.”

His lips parted slightly more, and I could hear a soft intake of breath.

“So thank you again…Eren.”

I leaned forward towards him, feeling the steady thump of my heart increase in intensity in my chest. He smelled like the forest, and grass and fresh herbs and…wild boar stew. Ah well. I swiftly moved to place a firm and gentle kiss on his forehead.

I lowered my head to line my eyes with his, bumping our foreheads together, noses touching.

I could hear our breaths quickening, and my heart beat faster knowing I had such an effect on him.

Unfortunately, I could still smell the boar stew on both of our breaths. “Brush first,” I muttered, turning my face away from him, but making no move to get up. He shivered, and I felt the slight movement of his body. We pressed closer together, bowls now discarded to our sides and hands interlinking under our cloaks. My head found room comfortably on his shoulder now, and he rested his head against mine. I suddenly remembered the blanket I had brought with me, and spared a hand to feel around for it before throwing it over the both of us; brushing be damned. Not while I was so comfortable like this…my arms around him, and his around me. No one spared us a glance, and I enjoyed the quiet warmth that radiated from both our bodies. I let out a small yawn. It was so warm and comfortable…and today had been a long day. I found my eyes closing, heavy with sleep.

I didn’t care if we were found like this. We were officially courting after all, and Eren’s shy “yes” still resonated within my gut. Eren was mine, and mine alone.

I silently wished this moment would last forever.

 

 ***      ***      ***

 

**_Eren_ **

The lights were dazzling. The music was sweet, smooth, and fast. The world spun and small happy squeals left my mouth, as I stared into steel grey eyes. Those eyes held indescribable warmth as they stared into mine, strong and comfortable. Many other happy bodies twirled around us in time with the music, but we paid them no attention, lost in our world. The other dancing figures suddenly disappeared, leaving only me and him. The music remained, and he held me easily, letting me spin once, twice. Then I held out my hand while he did the same, making every movement effortless, flawless.

He was perfect.

The happy beats reverberated through the great room with high ceilings and polished stone floors. The tap-tap of our shoes were barely audible over the music, and I laughed, thinking of nothing but him right now. Nothing else existed, no other living being mattered.

He spun again, and using my outstretched hand as a guide, he came back to me. Me and me _alone._

And then I was truly alone. I froze in mid-step, confused. Where had he gone? What had happened?

Suddenly, the silence was oppressing, the room eerily quiet. Why was there no music playing anymore? The happy notes, the quick beats, I missed them. And where was _he?_

The brisk sound of boots against stone reached my ears. I turned to see him walking away from me, back turned.

“Levi!” I cried. “Where are you going?”

He stopped in his steps, but didn’t turn to look at me.

“I’m sorry, Eren.”

“Levi?”

“You need to leave the Survey Corps. This place is not for you.”

“Levi…”

“Go. Leave, and never come back.”

“Wh-what are you saying? You know I can’t do that. I’ve always wanted to explore the world!”

“This is for your own good.”

“No, it isn’t!”

I took large, quick steps of my own, catching up to Levi in no time. I put my hand firmly on his shoulder, squeezing it tightly.

“You don't know what you're saying, Levi. I’m not going anywhere. And I’m especially not leaving you. You can’t make me.”

He didn’t respond. He just stood there, unmoving, frozen under my touch.

“Levi?”

Still no response.

“Levi!” I forcibly turned him around. I couldn’t bear to have him just stand there with his back turned to me. I had to look at him, talk to him, understand him! Why was he saying all this? Didn’t he want me anymore? He needed to look me in the eye, dammit!

I was met with a blood-red face. Gone were his eyes, his nose, his perfect lips. There was nothing but red.

“Eren,” the _thing_ said.  

I immediately pulled my hand back, as if burned by hot coals. _It_ raised a hand, fingers reaching out towards my face. I flinched away, taking a step back.

 _That thing is not Levi!_ Where had he gone?

I took another step back, and this time felt something crack under my heel. The stone tile had a large crack in it. Even as I stared, more fissures appeared in the ones in the vicinity, the cracking sound ominous and growing louder.

“L-Levi,” I murmured, panicking. The floor was breaking apart!

I hastily took another step back, avoiding the large gaps in the stone. Nothing helped, as the floor slowly kept breaking apart. Suddenly, a large chasm opened up on my right, and I screamed as the ground beneath my feet collapsed next, my stomach suddenly dropping as I felt myself fall. Deep down…down…down.

“LEVI!”

My fingers grasped air. My throat felt raw. Had I been screaming?

Concerned silvery-grey eyes filled my vision and a smooth calming hand cupped my cheeks.

“Shh, it’s alright,” he whispered, slowly moving his hands to the back of my neck and waist. “You were having some kind of bad dream. It’s over now. You’re here with me now,” he muttered into my hair.

I nodded, relaxing into his arms, and reaching up with my own to hold him. “You’re…here…” I repeated.

“I’m here,” he muttered back, his arms tightening around my body.

I buried my nose in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. It was calming. It was him, and he was here. That’s all that mattered. My breathing returned to normal, and he released me when he saw that I was back to normal.

Now fully awake, I looked around us. It was dawn, the faint emerging light of the sun illuminating everything around us. Many of the Survey Corps members were still asleep in bundles around the campfires, many of which had gone out. I noticed with a jolt that someone had lighted a small campfire in front of us as well. Levi had probably done it after I had fallen asleep. I looked at him, but he shook his head in denial.

“Wasn’t me,” Levi said. “Must have been Erwin. He must have also wrapped the second blanket around us,” he said, pointing to the much thicker second blanket now neatly folded to the side.

Which means…had Erwin seen us…together? We had been holding each other after all. Even though we were further away from the main group, I wasn’t sure if Erwin had perhaps seen us holding hands or being rather comfortable with each other. I felt nervous at that, and it must have showed, because Levi quickly shook his head.

“I think he knew we were courting immediately,” Levi explained. “I wouldn’t put it past him to know about everything even before it happens. But you can trust him. He won’t tell anyone.”

I had opened my mouth to say something, but now closed it. If Levi said Erwin could be trusted with this, then I had to trust him. Not that I particularly wanted to keep our relationship a secret. In fact, I wanted to declare to the world that Levi had chosen _me_ of all people, and he had wanted to court me, and I, him.

But both Levi and I knew about the consequences of others finding out. It could not be known that the daughter- well, _son_ of the famous Yeager household was courting no other than the Captain of the Survey Corps himself. The political scramble would be messy, and jealously and confusion would be rampant. The Survey Corp’s reputation would be questioned once again. So this matter had to be handled carefully. And somehow I was actually glad that Erwin seemed to be on our side. He would be a powerful ally, and we had been lucky to have him. He would know how to handle such a situation.

Levi stretched, and I admired the way his muscles moved in his back, taut and strong. I could see the lines of flesh reaching up and branching out to each of his five smooth fingers. He grimaced, pointing at the bowls still discarded to the side from last night. “Gotta clean those up. And gotta brush. And piss.”

I snorted in laughter, ever amused by his eloquence. We had been lucky enough to not end up on guard duty last night, as the shift rotation had left us out along with a few others. Finally feeling rested after many days, I mounted my horse, ready to start a new day.

“You’re still paired with me,” Levi confirmed, at which I smiled.

“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” I grinned, snapping my reins and allowing the horse to take off at a brisk trot.

“Brat,” I heard a moment later, along with hooves that indicated he’d pulled up next to me. I stuck out my tongue at him, to which he let out an amused smirk. I looked ahead, liking the flutters it had sent out in my stomach.

A comfortable silence filled out between us, and we fell into regular Survey Corps routine, watching out for enemies, and taking turns to lead and set the pace.

“We should get back to that fort at the end of the day today,” Levi said, looking ahead, eyes on high alert.

Memories flood back to me at that. That fort – we would be back at where it had started. The place where he had let me know that he had known my secret all along. The place where I had told him everything, why I had been passing as a Lady, and then why I had decided to leave. The place where he had _accepted_ me, told me it was okay. But it also reminded me that this expedition was far from over. We would have some shelter at the fort and get some much-needed rest, but it wasn’t truly home.

The expedition proceeded smoothly, and anticipation was high. The afternoon sun beat down everywhere, and spirits were high as everyone knew the fort should be coming into view anytime now. Once we reached the fort, we would all be able to rest behind its high walls and frequent lookouts wouldn’t be necessary. Also, once the fort was reached, we would be but a few days journey away from home – on already known territory.

The sun slowly lowered over the horizon, casting long shadows on the ground.

I followed the shadows as the shadows followed us, matching our every movement as the entire group galloped across the land.

That is, until a distant howl had everyone turning their heads in that direction. A few moments later, a red flare shot up on the right, confirming our fears.

“That flare was close,” Levi murmured from my left. “This area is well within wolfdog territory, especially where we had that last run-in,” he mused. “High possibility it’s the same pack.”

I opened my pouch, pulling out a red flare, and firing it off in one smooth movement, now second nature after the many run-ins during the expedition. Levi nodded, once, and we both drew our blades at the ready. Another closer howl had my hairs standing up at the back of my neck.

“No signal yet,” Levi calmly stated, watching the horizon for the green flare to fire from Erwin. “Come on…”

Nervous minutes passed, each minute bringing the wolfdogs closer, or us getting farther from them (or so I hoped).

Finally, the green flare shot off in the distance, showing us the new direction.

“Fucking finally,” Levi muttered, sheathing his blades to grab at his reins. And at that moment-

“LEVI!” I screamed, only able to watch in horror as a large grey blur shot between us, knocking Levi off his mount. We had slowed the horses slightly to make the turn for the new direction, so I could only hope that he had had time to react. Blood ran cold in my veins, as tears forced their way out of my eyes as I turned my horse around, unbelieving, and also absolutely furious. How _dare_ the creature attack Levi? I would make sure the thing would pay with its life if anything had happened to Levi-

And then I spotted them. Levi was on the ground, overwhelmed by the heavy creature on top of him. He seemed to be struggling, but instant relief flooded through me. He was alive. He was breathing. And kicking the thing and struggling to overcome the beast. But he wouldn't be able to hold for long, especially if I didn’t _do_ something-

I had my horse close the distance between us in a few seconds, and jerked it to a halt, practically jumping off while drawing both my blades in a smooth motion. A harsh battle cry escaped my throat while I charged at the creature furiously, noticing that Levi had drawn his blades on time to block its heavy paws from mauling his body.

“Get off him!” I screamed, slicing deeply at the filthy matted fur of the wolfdog. The thing yelped in pain, quickly releasing the pressure off Levi, and turning to snarl at me instead.

My gut clenched at remembering my last encounter with these things. The thing was still as big as I remembered, possibly bigger; overpowering my height easily. I could smell its disgusting breath still lingering in the air, stinking like permanent rot. I vaguely registered its red blood on my swords, watching a few drops steadily drip down its chest. But the wolfdog still didn’t retreat.

“Dammit,” I hissed, tightening the hold on my blades. It didn’t look like it was about to run away, so I prepared myself for the worst – a straight head-on encounter.

However, I didn’t have a chance to do anything as I heard another snarl behind me. I whipped around, mounting panic rising in me. Levi slowly got to his feet. He seemed to able to move, and nothing looked broken. I desperately hoped he had nothing more than a few bruises.

“Levi, are you alri-”

My question was cut short by another low, menacing growl. A third, then a fourth one appeared, surrounding the both of us.  I became painfully aware of our disadvantageous position.

We were on our feet. On the ground. No horses. Just our swords. Hopelessly outnumbered to _four_ of these creatures.

And all very hungry, and no doubt looking at their dinner.

_Us._

***      ***      *** 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I had to do this cliffhanger, I know I'm total thrash OTL  
> I hope you can't wait for the next chapter as much as me!! >.>


	21. The Resolve to Win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren being a total badass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....I'm so sorry about the super late chapter!  
> But i'm hoping better late than never? So much crap happened (life) and it was just hard to finish this chapter! But I'm intent on finishing this story, so rejoice! :)

**_Eren_ **

“Shit,” I muttered, backing up until I felt Levi behind me. “No, this can’t be happening. This is not happening! Damn it!”

Low growls surrounded me, filling me with dread. As if the situation couldn’t possibly get worse, I vaguely registered growls of _two more_ of those awful creatures.

We had been close, so close to arriving at the fort, but fortune just didn’t seem to favor us. It was frustrating.

Levi seemed to mimic my frustration, as I heard a loud “tch” behind me. “You’re going to live through this, Eren,” was the only thing I heard before the warmth behind my back was gone. And he was charging at them, blades drawn.

“Levi!” I only had a second to scream his name before he was already high above in the air - his blades already sinking, cutting deeply into the throat of the first one. Blood splattered everywhere, marking the ground, covering Levi in its foul colour. It instantly collapsed, clearly dead. Its companions didn’t seem to react at that at all.

Why didn’t they just retreat and go running back in the direction they came from?

Hange’s lessons to us before the expedition came flooding back as clear as day. They wouldn’t retreat when they were especially hungry. Even if every single one of them died, they would persistently hunt down their prey until none were left standing. This was one of the traits that made them particularly dangerous, combined with their large size.

I only had a moment to register loud growls before I was smelling fur and feeling hot breath. I looked into its mouth, row upon row of sharp teeth visible. It was a nasty, disgusting smell of rot and death. The absolutely foul breath grew stronger as it tried to close its jaws around something other than my blade which I had jammed between its teeth to prevent it from snapping off my arm.

“Arrghhh,” was all I could manage with the effort I was putting in to keep the thing off of me.

Strangely, I wasn’t afraid. I’d heard most soldiers were terrified of the large beasts, of their razor-sharp teeth which could sever flesh from bone in an instant.

It made a swipe with its front paw which I barely noticed in time. Remembering my second blade and scarcely keeping it at bay with my first, I released the pressure just a little to dodge the fatal strike.

The air burned in my lungs with the effort of the fight. It wasn’t about to give up easily. But neither was I.

Both of my blades whipped through the air as it sliced into the creature. A most unearthly howl ripped through the air – something warm splattered onto my face as I was swatted to the side at the same time.

I received a faceful of dirt. The world spun around me in a flurry of lights. I could feel my blood raging through my veins, prompting me to fight until my last breath. Every thought was wiped clean from my brain, all except one. I couldn’t have Levi protecting me forever. I could do this. I had to survive!

I could still stand – so I did. I had hung on to both my blades, which reassured me, so I readjusted my grip around them while I surveyed the creature in the moment it took to lunge at me – open bodied.

I was pinned to the ground the same instant both my blades pierced straight through its heart. Unable to breathe and surrounded by fur on all sides, I could _hear_ its heart as it thumped loudly once, twice, thrice. If it thumped again, I didn’t hear it. Kneeing the now-dead creature in the stomach and practically shoving it off of me, I looked up just in time to see another one come bounding towards Levi. Levi had his back turned to me and was already deeply engaged with a grey wolfdog with blood-red eyes. The grey wolfdog was large, and even with Levi’s skill, I could see it was taking every ounce of his concentration to just fend it off.

In the meantime, this new creature now bounding towards Levi only seemed to have Levi within its sights. With a jolt, I recognized it to be the first black wolfdog that I had injured, but been unable to kill.

Levi was too busy fending off the grey wolfdog to even notice this new threat. _I had to do something, or Levi would die._ With precious seconds remaining, I pushed myself off the ground to cover the distance to Levi-

_Please reach him in time._

“AAAHHHHH!”

It took me a few moments to recognize the inhuman cry as my own as my twin blades connected with sharp claws – sending out a loud ringing _clang!_ through the air, signalling that my prayers had been answered.

I smelled the foul breath once more, but all I could do was grin.

_I had made it._

I felt beads of sweat as they ran down my forehead and my neck in rivulets due to the strenuous efforts of the waging battle. My breath came in short pants, burning my chest with each inhale and exhale. I felt every muscle in my body scream and strain from effort, my arms twitching with the strength required to keep the creature at bay from me- and from Levi.

At that thought, my exhaustion seemed to vanish.

My muscles seemed to feel stronger than ever, and I could only grunt while I pushed harder, willing myself to go over my limits. I could do this.

_I could win._

Suddenly, the pressure from my blades vanished – the wolfdog had retreated a few steps back. It surveyed me knowingly, its lips pulling back in a seemingly vile sneer.

I could hear the loud snarls from the grey wolfdog Levi was seemingly keeping engaged.

Almost on cue, I heard a low grunt of what could only be pain. Head whipping around, strands of hair flew into my eyes with the sudden movement which drew tears from my eyes as I took in the impossible. Levi – thrown to the side.  

His name was ripped from my throat in a tone I didn’t recognize. Then my eyes locked with his.

The stormy grey eyes bored into mine, wide open with- _fear?_

It was the last thing I processed before his lips moved silently in a warning.

Then the world went red.

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

It hurt.

It really fucking hurt.

And this couldn’t really be happening right now.

Every muscle in my body screamed from pain, I don’t know what that nasty wolfdog had done – but when it had swatted me aside, it had _really_ hurt. It hurt worse than what running headlong into a stone wall would feel like.

Wincing through the pain, I looked up in an attempt to find the bright greens – tell him to get away. My eyes locked with his, but all I could really _see_ was the big shape about to attack him from behind. And he was looking straight at me. Not realizing he was about to be ripped to shreds.

_Move, body, move!_

The _one_ day I need to _move_ to push him out of the way, is the _one_ day I’m incapable of even moving. How useless.

_Why am I so useless?_

The air from my lungs had been knocked out of me when I had been swatted aside as a fly, so the only thing I can do is yell out a warning. Of course, nothing comes out. How can I talk without any air in my lungs?

My fists find the nearest clump of grass to clutch on to. Entire body throbbing in pain, I’m unable to do anything except continue clutching on to the useless piece of grass.

Actually, I’m the useless one here. Atleast the grass gets eaten by cows and rabbits. Even the grass is useful in that sense.

_What use am I?_

I’m about to see Eren get ripped apart by those monsters, and I’m unable to do anything.

Eren.

_I’m so sorry._

Eren, you’re so beautiful.

_I’m really, really sorry._

Eren, I really wish we could be together longer. I haven’t taken you to see the ocean yet. The world is such a big place! I really want to taste those lips of yours again, Eren.

_I’m sorry I couldn’t save you._

“…I love you, Eren.”

 

***      ***      ***

 

A warm embrace.

A relaxing scent.

A stinging pain on my left.

My eyes felt like lead, but I felt obligated to force them open. Immediately, brown hair filled my view. I felt like I was floating….I was being carried. I made an attempt to move, which did not go unnoticed by the one carrying me.

“Don’t move,” the soft voice whispered into my ear.

The shudder of pain from my body was enough to stop me from protesting.

I was soon placed on the hard ground, fingers quickly sweeping themselves over my face, checking.

I caught the hands in my own, pulling them down to my lap. The owner of the hands ceased all movement, looking at me in concern.

“…Levi?”

“Brat. Where are we?”

Huffing out the few words seemed to drain the strength, and I immediately felt like closing my eyes again. His eyes dropped down to my lap to his hands enclosed mine. I followed his gaze, only noticing now that his hands were shaking slightly.

“…I…I thought…I was too late. For a moment back there, I thought you were dead!”

I blinked at the outburst. But this incredibly warm feeling began welling up within me. So he had worried. Even with his life on the line.

I scoffed at his response, then winced. It still goddamn hurt.

“As if I’m about to die anytime soon. Moreover, _you_ were in much more trouble…”

I trailed off, memories of the clash returning with a smash. The recent events came flooding back to me, in such force that left me heaving for air.

That’s right! I had been swatted aside by that wolfdog and I had thought Eren had been a goner…

But here he was, sitting right here! How could I have forgotten that? The exhaustion must had knocked me out for a while if I was waking up just now.

Frantically, I pulled my hands to cup his cheeks.

“Eren…what happened? Tell me everything, _now._ ”

I couldn’t stop the authority seeping into my voice, and I noticed Eren flinch at the sudden pressure. But he held my gaze, albeit reluctantly.

“And Eren…” he looked up questioningly, and I held his gaze this time before asking. “Has this happened before?”

He nodded, a faint and weak smile tugging at his lips. It looked so _pained._ I just want to hug him close to me and never, ever let go. So I do.

“Eren…” I feel him tighten his grip around me, and I try not to flinch, because my entire body still hurts like no tomorrow. “You can tell me.”

I feel him nod around my shoulder, and I relax my grip, this time flinching from my own movement. Damn monster hurt me more than I thought.

Calming and strong hands immediately hold me around my hips and lean me against a rock against my back. It’s not comfortable, but it takes the pressure off my spine. I have to thank the brat for that, but he’s already looking resolutely to the side, biting slightly on his lower lip. I’m about to tell him that he doesn’t need to force himself, but he breaks the silence first.

“It happened for the first time when I was very little. These three…monsters had killed Mikasa’s parents. Then they kidnapped Mikasa.”

I tightened my fingers around his, nodding slightly. He took in a deep breath, and I could hear how his voice slightly shook as he spoke.

“I killed those bastards.”

My fingers involuntarily tightened more around his. I squeezed lightly as a reassurance, that I was still there. I was still listening.

“I think that was when it first manifested. It surfaced a few times after that, but never as strong as the first time. The last time I recall was when those _pigs_ caught Mina. I remember feeling hatred, and pure anger, and I wanted to do nothing more than rip them apart. But I don’t think it was particularly strong, so I didn’t end up killing any of them. But to be honest, part of me wishes I had.”

I stayed silent, letting him continue, and speak his mind, his true feelings.

“I remember being so angry, that I wanted to destroy them all. But what actually ended up happening was nothing more than a few broken bones and many injuries. I haven’t actually been able to do damage of _this_ sort until now,” he said, nodding to his blades covered in wolfdog blood.

I nodded, remembering the way he had screamed from pure hatred and anger. And fear. But the Eren back there looked to be in so much pain, too. I didn’t want to see him like that again, if I could help it.

I lay helpless, unable to do anything, as I watched the two wolfdogs attack Eren simultaneously.

Anger was etched in every inch of Eren’s usually soft features, raw hatred plainly visible clearly.

His body took perfect form, perfect shape. Well trained through his years of training, but with resolve not many had on the battlefield, he dodged the first swipe the wolfdog made for him, and made it seem effortless. With what seemed like practiced ease, he sliced off the right paw of the beast, the blood splattering across his clothes. He looked unfazed as the massive howl ripped through the air, as he turned with pure murder in his eyes at the second.

I don’t think I’ve seen anything more beautiful and deadly.

In that instant, Eren dug his blades in deep in the flank of the second one, throwing himself up high to reach at the beast’s neck. Strangely, that move was reminiscent of one of mine, one that I had perfected over the years of encounters with these things.

So he had seen me do it once, remembered it, and performed it in the heat of battle with near-perfection. A shudder that had nothing to do with the pain in my body at the moment had gone through me.

Eren launched himself above the creature itself, and as I knew that move would, surely positioned him right above its neck. Eren’s blades swung deep and true, and the creature had no chance of surviving the blow straight through its core nerves. As the creature thudded to the ground, dead, Eren landed with deadly grace, a plain anger still burning in his eyes. The remaining severely injured wolfdog, one of its paws missing, lunged at Eren with its jaws.

_Cold and cruel._

Eren mercilessly thrust his blades through its eyes, jumping up to avoid its snapping jaw. Now blinded and howling in more pain, Eren swung himself up again to now stand on its neck.

No words were said as Eren quickly made short work of the absolutely massive creature, landing almost catlike as his eyes burned with the same anger as he turned to face the last two wolfdogs.

My vision was now blurring. Speech still eluded me, but through my hazed vision, I could make out the shape that was Eren, moving with deadly speed as he landed strike after strike on the creatures, dyeing his cloak a darker shade. The world had faded as I registered a small blurred shape running towards me.

Eren must have carried me to a point far from our initial clash for us to rest.

But looking at the angelic face now full of concern, how could he be cold or cruel? He had undoubtedly saved my life. Especially when I had been completely unable to move at all. And I would’ve surely been killed if Eren hadn’t killed those creatures. From what I was aware of, killing no less than five absolutely massive wolfdogs on their second encounter was rare.

I held his hand tightly in mine, squeezing it in assurance.

“Thank You for doing what you did,” I said simply. “If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here right now. So thank you, Eren.”

I looked up to find a splatter of pink across his nose. His eyes were wide and looked surprised, but he blinked when our eyes met.

“You had a good reason to do what you did back then,” I said, refusing to let his eyes leave mine, “I’m sure Mikasa thanks you every day for saving her back then. You had no choice, but and all of us are very happy that you found the courage to do what you did.”

A moment of silence pressed between us. Eren hadn’t said anything, and continued to stare at me with those glistening big green eyes, until I noticed they were glistening more than usual.

“Eren? Are you crying? Shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry…”

“Huh?”

His hands quickly left mine to press at his cheeks. Finding them wet, he rubbed at the trail of water furiously to wipe them away.

“N-No, this isn’t what you think-” he said as a large sob left him. “I’m- I’m just so happy. Levi, I’m happy. Goodness, I’m so happy I’m crying, and I can’t stop. What’s wrong with me?”

His hands increased the intensity at which they rubbed his face, leaving parts of his face slightly red. I caught his frantic hands gently in mine, intertwining his fingers in mine. I ran my thumb over the back of his hand in slow circles, revelling in the soft touch of his warm flesh. Pushing off the rock at my back hurt as hell, but I grit my teeth as I leaned forward to reach his cheeks. I pressed my lips just under his eye, gently brushing away the wetness with my lips. I could feel him tense under my touch, but relax just as quickly, then relax _into_ it. Satisfied, I moved my lips to the other side of his face, running soft kisses under his other eye. Pulling back, the remaining air left my lungs as I took in the beautiful creature that now looked at me with crystalline eyes and a tenderly red face.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” I confirmed, slowly untangling my fingers from his, which seem to have been almost painfully gripped in the last moments. I missed the warmth, but it was replaced soon by the heat of his neck. I slowly guided my other hand to rest behind his waist. “You don’t need to be worried about _it_ manifesting. It’s alright to be angry, especially if it is to protect those close to you. You were so strong today. I knew you were strong, but you really surprised me today,” I admitted.

Seeing the blush bloom across his cheeks almost had me chuckle out loud. It also seemed to trigger something in Eren, as he moved his hands to hold me behind my head and on my waist.

“Ca-Can I?” he asked hesitantly, and I was having none of that. I gave his neck a small tug, and it seemed to be all the invitation he required.

His lips found mine in a flurry of warmth, as the warmth pressed themselves against me with an urgency I hadn’t noticed before. A quick wetness passed over my lips and I opened them up invitingly, and my invitation was accepted in a heartbeat. A moan escaped my throat before I had the time to think about it, and I should be happy we were out on an expedition in a field where we wouldn’t be found-

_But we could be attacked again at any minute-_

But all thoughts of our current vulnerable position left my head as Eren bit down on my lip, letting another moan escape me.  Now I had no room for any other thoughts as I found Eren’s tongue exploring every bit of my mouth, finally settling for sucking on my tongue, as I lost myself in his delicious taste.

Heavy breathing passed between us, and I was left inhaling his warm air, and him, mine. I noticed my hand had only tightened at the back of his neck, and I hoped I didn’t leave any bruises. He caressed the back of my head, seemingly thinking the same when I pulled him close to me, bodies pressing as close as possible, before sinking my lips into another deep kiss.

The urgency now gone, I focused on the heat of the contact and the slight movement of his lips against mine as we adjusted the pressure into the perfect balance. He relaxed naturally as I did, finding his eyelashes tickling my face at some point. I held our kiss until I felt the irrevocable need to breathe, and we broke apart once again, panting heavily.

He broke out into a grin, still breathing heavily. That only increased the intensity of the storm brewing inside my stomach, as the desire to touch him, _want him_ , only increased tenfold. And I couldn’t help it- a small smile of my own broke through.

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Eren_ **

I grinned, unable to break eye contact from the heavenly being sitting in front of me. I had confessed that I was far from anything he might have heard about me, and I had been especially _terrified_ to tell him that I had actually had a bloody past.

But once again, he had surprised me. Accepted me. And now, he had _let me kiss him,_ and he sat there breathing heavily _because of me._ His eyes were half-closed, and I could see his heavily dilated pupils looking into mine.

_Did I look the same?_

I held him, gently, revelling in the moment that seemed to last forever. Our breathing had returned to normal, although my heartbeat seemed intent on pounding on all day. I couldn’t get it to settle down, no matter what.

Now that the moment had passed, the cold reality of our situation seemed to sink in like a pebble thrown into a well.

“Horses…” I managed to mumble, before I received a small nod of acknowledgement.

My forehead felt heavy as I felt my eyebrows squeeze themselves together in worry.

“Can you stand? We’re so exposed here, we may have to walk until we find our horses.”

A grunt.

I slowly extricated myself from him, before standing slowly and checking myself quickly from injuries. I felt bruised in many areas, but otherwise I seemed fine. I quickly turned my attention back to Levi, who seemed to struggle, but only for a moment before he too, was on his feet.

“Let’s go.”

 

 

***      ***      ***

My mouth hurt from the effort it was putting into whistling.

Our shadows continued getting longer, indicating the day was drawing to a close. If those damn wolfdogs hadn’t attacked, we would most likely be in the fort already.

We had walked for what felt like miles, and had been extremely fortunate that nothing had attacked. The landscape seemed unchanging, and the dread only grew with every other step we took.

I had also noticed Levi’s steps slowing down for the last mile. He had assured me he was _fine_ , especially the last time I had dared ask, but I knew that he probably wasn’t revealing the true nature of his pain. That wolfdog had practically _swatted_ him aside with ease – the thought only brought back the anger in fresh waves of fire. Considering how big and heavy those things were, and considering how far Levi had been thrown, I had the nagging feeling that things _weren’t_ all right.

But could I risk angering him?

As I slowed down slightly to match Levi’s pace, a brief flash of pain passing across his face was more than enough to risk my life for it.

Fuck it.

Boldly marching up to him, I threw aside my swords and bulky sheathing. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and slight annoyance.

“Eren what’re you doin-”

“We don’t stand a chance with this pace at the moment. If anything attacks us, we’ll use your blades,” I explained, turning until I was standing in front of him. I crouched down, gripping his legs as I hauled him onto my back. Feeling his chest pressed up against my back, I smiled as I also felt his arms wrap themselves around my neck.

“Eren, put me down this instant-”

_“No.”_

And with that, I started walking. I expected more resistance, but none came. Thoroughly relieved at his understanding, I smiled, adjusting him slightly on my back.

An incoherent grumble was heard, and something warm buried itself in the crook of my neck.

“Hm? What did you say?”

“I said, _shitty brat._ ”

My smile grew wider, and I took another step towards our goal.

Levi kept up the periodic whistles for our horses, and I was beginning to tire. As much as I would have liked to take a break, the shadows now grew deeper, and the light was beginning to fade. We would have to find the horses, or some sort of shelter, and quick. Otherwise, it could get bad in all sorts of ways, and I did not want to imagine how my life would end out here, in the dark, with nothing to defend myself with. I imagine Levi’s blades would protect us for some time, but what could we do in the complete darkness with our sight taken away and hordes of creatures attacking us?

I didn’t let the gloomy thoughts slow my steps as I tried to keep up the pace because otherwise, there would be no hope-

_“-en!”_

...there would be no hope...

“Levi, did you say something?”

“Mm?” came a tired response. He had whistled for the umpteenth time, and I’m sure his lips were tired out.

“Never min-” I started to say, but was stopped when I distinctly heard _something._

“Levi! I definitely heard something! Do you see anything?” I said, heart hammering loudly. This could be very good. Or bad.

I had heard of birds that could mimic human voices. Especially out here in the unknown lands, these birds were known to be able to wail or cry actual words to distract humans until they had one human all alone. Which is when they would attack in _droves_ until they stripped their flesh bare.

Shuddering at the mental image and the lessons I had received, I frantically combed my eyes over the skies above us. Maybe the birds had thought Levi and I were one human since I was carrying Levi on my back. My arms ached with the effort of keeping holding Levi still while my neck craned itself as far as it would go. I certainly did _not_ want droves of these flesh-eating birds to attack me.

“Oi. Over there,” Levi’s deep voice hissed in my ear, and I shuddered at something else entirely as my eyes were brought down to ground level. In the distance, I could see a plume of…dust?

“Could be anything,” Levi commented. “Put me down. Be ready.”

I did as he instructed, grasping one of Levi’s swords firmly as I braced myself. I saw Levi flinch as he adjusted himself on his feet and made a mental note to make him move as little as possible.

_If it was possible._

But my thoughts turned out to be wholly unneeded as-

“Armin! Mikasa!” I screamed, once I had made out the shapes.

“And Petra and Oluo,” Levi’s quiet voice came from behind. “They have our horses too.”

And indeed they did.

I was pulled into a bone-crushing hug from both Armin and Mikasa and I pretended not to notice Armin’s running nose and the small tear on the corner of Mikasa’s eye.

Smiling, and now seated on my horse again, I threw a glance behind me to see Levi grimace as he climbed on his horse.

“I was so worried when your horses joined our group without you on it!” Armin continued babbling as a small smile pulled on my lips. Everyone had worried. I answered Armin’s deluge of questions while letting Levi’s horse pass mine first, our hands briefly touching as he passed.

If anyone noticed, they did not care enough to say anything.

A few minutes later, guided by the sharp sound of an acoustic flare, the dark shape of the fort became visible as well as we made our way straight towards it.

Cheers of _Captain Levi!_ resounded throughout the front entranceway as our little party crossed the safe gates of the fort. The gates were lowered with a resounding crash that did much to settle my nerves into a comfortable thrum.

In the flickering torches that were already set up inside the fort, I caught Levi’s shining eyes as he looked into mine.

We were safe now. The realization hit me as my tiredness finally caught up to me. Sleep suddenly overtook me amongst loud exclamations of surprise from those around me as my knees suddenly lost their strength and collapsed underneath me, the ground rushing up to meet me in welcome.

But I felt firm arms enclose my sides as I briefly registered soft words before the world faded into a comfortable black.

“You did good. Sleep well, brat.”

 

***      ***      ***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this chapter was ok. I intend on giving everyone (and myself) diabetes in the end from this fic lol. Okay, now let me go onwards with writing the next chapter!!


	22. The Silence of Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,  
> It has been so long since I could write anything! I'm glad I could finally finish this chapter. I intend to write this story to its very end! I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

 

**_Eren_ **

The fort feels like a safe haven. It feels warm, welcoming, and the familiarity is that of a long-lost friend. It feels good.

I breathe in the cool and fresh morning air, and let the new day soak its first rays of sunshine onto my face. A slight breeze comes in, and suddenly, it is chilly. I let out a sneeze along with a squawk.

“…Pffttt…”

I quickly turn around. I was hoping no one had heard me –

And the world suddenly turns warm again.

His dark gaze pierces my very being, and I have a hard time looking directly into his eyes.

“Good Morning, Captain.”

“….Good Morning, Brat.”

Suddenly conscious, I turn my body towards the window again. Something incredibly warm and soft touches my shoulders, and I start.

It is a small blanket. And it smells of…him. I avoid directly burying my nose into it and sniffing the material until no air is left, but that would be childish. Maybe I could walk away with it, and ‘forget’ to give it back, so I could have my due time with it…

But I didn’t need to do that, did I?

He was mine.

This time, I look into his eyes and hold my stare.

And _he_ averts his gaze.

“Found something interesting on my face this morning?”

I smile.

“As a matter of fact, yes, I did.”

I lift my hand to brush away his bangs behind his ear.

“I never noticed until now you had a mole here…”

It is a small thing, sitting slightly above his jawline, but below his left ear. The heat I feel from his face is endearing.

I feel his hand close over mine, still hovering above his face. And he _pulls_ my hand in front of his lips. A ghost of his breath tickles my hand before his soft lips kiss it.

Someone must have set a thousand forest fires burning on my face. I hastily pull my hand away, but not before noticing his sly grin.

He swivels on the spot. “See you at breakfast.”

I gaze stupidly at his retreating back.

 

***      ***      ***

 

I must have a stupid smile plastered all over my face over breakfast because Armin won’t stop asking what I am so happy about.

“Are you _that_ happy to be headed back to the City?” asks Sasha.

“Yeah, you must be _that_ happy that those wolfdogs didn’t munch on your ass.”

“Jean!” Krista looks shocked.

The arguments and bickering start while I hardly pay them any attention. My mind and my gaze is currently on the strands of black hair and the close-shaven back. It is too bad his back is facing me, but this is not bad either. My eyes roam over the muscles displaying through his shirt. They are so well-sculpted, it is a work of art.

“Eren?” a quiet voice interrupts my thoughts.

“Hm?” I turn my head to glance at Mikasa. She’s already finished, and as usual, her plate is polished clean.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Oh, nothing,” I say a little too quickly.

Her features remain unchanged as she considers my answer.

“Since you’re happy, I’m happy,” she says simply. “I haven’t seen you so happy since you once escaped the Yeager estate to sneak into the city when we were kids. Of course, I was with you, so I would know. It’s nice to see your smile.”

Her answer leaves me giddy with happiness, but at the same time, wondering. Has it really been that long since I smiled? I think back, and I am more convinced by the minute. I think having the Captain in my life really has made a huge difference.

I bump my shoulder into hers and shift so that I’m sitting closer to her. This has been our signature sign that conveys many things without putting it into words. Right now, I meant it as a “Thank You”, and she understood.

Armin is listening in, so he bumps his shoulder into my other one, and the three of us sit there, side by side, absorbing the clamorous morning. My smile widens in content, and I wish this morning would last forever.

 

 ***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

The enormous walls loom over us even as we approach it.

“The wall seems so close, but we’re still a while away from the City, aren’t we,” mutters Petra to my right.

“Hm,” is all I say.

These walls are indeed massive, both in scale and height. Built by the power of the nobles, it is certainly both a comfort and a nuisance.

A comfort for the masses because it assures them, for nothing from the _‘Outside’_ can possibly penetrate these walls – not on the watch of the Wall Guard patrolling it by the second.

A nuisance for _certain_ people who see it as nothing but a large obstacle from true _Freedom._ Trapped by its mass, it feels suffocating to spend days on end inside, to see nothing but the large stone walls extending into the sky – it truly is the biggest open _Prison._

“…Into the safety of the Prison…”

My head whips to the left. Eren exhales loudly after his statement, riding his horse, matching my pace, eyes narrowed and lips drawn into a tight line.

“What did you say…” It comes out as a statement, not a question. I’m sure I just heard him voice my innermost thoughts.

“Free to do ‘whatever we want’. But within limits. Rules. Rules everywhere, with these damn ‘upper classes’ throwing their might around to do whatever _they_ want. Isn’t it absolutely laughable? What a hypocritical world.”

I am stunned into silence by Eren’s little outburst. No, his outburst is anything _but_ little. He is absolutely right. He just managed to voice my innermost beliefs, because every time I enter these walls, these very thoughts resonate inside my head. I just internalize them all, and this has to be the first time I’ve met someone who can say these things out loud without restraint. Without fear. I shouldn't be surprised. It is  _Eren,_ after all.

Wait, did that mean that I was _afraid?_ Afraid of voicing my thoughts, my opinions on what was wrong with our society?

This has me thinking hard. I’ve certainly made a kind of reputation for myself. But I have never spoken out openly or blatantly against Nobles. In fact, I’ve gone along with them, trying not to step on too many toes. Erwin had also been a main cause – he had sternly reminded me several times to watch what I say. I wasn’t much of a talker to begin with, so it wasn’t difficult to do, but they still got under my skin. I can easily recall several times I’ve put many of these nobles in their place – Like that Lord that dared challenge me at Eren and Lady Yeager's mansion. But I’ve never outright incurred their wrath.

In fact, this makes me fondly remember the time that Eren – no, he was dressed as the Lady _Erin_ then – and he had punched that same nobleman in the face for threatening his handmaid.

“Not bad. You really _do_ have guts.” This time, I am able to voice my thoughts out loud.

I expect him to blush, or shy away from the compliment. But instead, he turns, and looks me straight in the eye.

The world freezes. I can see pure determination there. And hatred. Hatred for these beings who were worse than animals in human skin. I realize after what he had told me about his past and connection with Mikasa’s history, he had meant every word. And that sets me on fire.

I narrow my eyes, meeting his straight gaze.

“I agree with every word of what you said.”

I can see his eyes widen slightly.

“I just haven’t had a chance to speak about this openly because of my position in the Corps – Erwin wouldn’t let me. But if I had a chance…” I trail off. I don’t know why.

“Captain, you’re stronger than anyone I know.”

His voice comes through, strong and clear.

“And if you don’t speak out, Captain, who will? So many normal people suffer every day. They struggle to make ends meet, while their rich counterparts know nothing but extravagant luxury. Isn’t something extremely wrong with that? Isn’t it the responsibility of the strong to defend the weak? Not that I’m forcing you to do anything that you don’t want to.”

I breathe deeply, refusing to believe that Eren of all people is actually telling me all of this. I already know, _knew-_

“But I know you care a lot, Captain. You know, you thought no one knew, but everyone knows how you pass your extra rations to the poor kids on the street. We were watching. We _know_ you get more rations than you really need because of your rank. We _all_ know how kind you are.”

I jerk my head in a start. I look to my right, and I see Petra smiling under her hood.

“You bastards…”

But I can’t be angry. Not after looking at his dazzling smile.

“We can do it,” he whispers, not averting his gaze. “We can try and fix this. We only have to try.”

My heart is fluttering like a thousand butterflies. Because I realize that we share the same beliefs, too. And it feels too good to be true.

“Yeah,” I mutter. _“Together.”_

We pass through the large gates, and the stale wind of the City comes rushing out to meet us.

But it is not full of despair.

This time, for the very first time, I smell faint hope, and the calling of the future.

 

 ***      ***      ***

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was such a short chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it! I hope to have the next chapter up soon!


	23. The House of Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,  
> It has been a while! But I am happy I can put up this chapter for y'all. Enjoy!

**_Eren_ **

I take a deep breath.

Now that we are back to base, it almost feels wrong that there is peace around us. I’m not on edge, every hair on end waiting for something to attack. I’m not on shift duty, keeping an ear out for wolfdog howls and both eyes peeled for the slightest movement. I’m not waking up to chilly mornings, surrounded by unfamiliar territory.

I’m home.

Yet, this peace feels false. Because I _know_ what’s out there, and how it’s like out there, trying to survive. I look at two street kids laughing, dirt smeared over their happy faces, seemingly content with the state of the world. The rush past me with the wind, with the belief they are free. Their laughter fades with the wind too, and well, we all do deserve some momentary peace.

I close my eyes for one moment, lifting my chin up to savour this false peace.

It’s not bad, but I’m not content, either.

“Eren.”

I don’t say anything. I feel her silent, yet strong presence join my side.

“We have five days off to see family. All the other cadets already left.”

I still don’t say anything. I know what she wants.

I open my eyes, keeping it on the sky.

“I didn’t tell anyone when I left, Mikasa. I don’t believe Mother will be thrilled.”

“Mom will be happy to see you back.”

“Hah! I don’t believe a word.”

“You’ll see. Why don’t we leave now?”

“No.”

“You’re being stubborn.”

“What about you? Did you tell mom you were leaving?”

“No, but I’m sure she’ll understand. She’ll understand when you come back home, too.”

Something inside me bursts.

“If she understood, then why didn’t she let me learn how to fight? She wouldn’t even let me touch a sword! She insisted I be the perfect _lady,_ all the while ignoring what I really wanted! How could she ever understand? She never wanted to give me any freedom to do anything I wanted!”

I realize my nails are digging into my palm. I also realize that my voice had risen to a shout, and drawn a few passer-by’s gazes onto us.

Mikasa’s eyes are wide, hurt. Her hands, normally confidently at her side, are now clutched together near her chest.

I breathe quickly, trying to gather my emotions under control.

Mikasa is only doing what she thinks is best, and that is going home. Back to that mansion that watched me every hour of the day, where I planned for hours, no…days, on how to be _free,_ to finally have some hours of the day where _I_ got to determine what I wanted to do, and the daily schedule wasn’t decided by someone else.

“I’m not going.”

 

 ***      ***      ***

 

**_Levi_ **

I’m still mulling over what Eren had said earlier. About me being strong.

Strangely enough, I’ve never throught of myself that way. I knew I held a better record than most, but it took Eren for me to realize that I could actually make a real difference in other people’s lives.

And Eren was right again. I didn’t _have_ to be strong to make a difference. It only takes a thought, a feeling to make a change, a small gesture- all of this could make a difference in the world, and make it a better place.

“LEVIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!”

And that _scream_ certainly scrambled any thoughts I had running through my brain.

“What is it, shithead.”

They came charging at me down the corridor like the wind was pushing them forward.

They tried to hug me, too, but a dodge and a painful elbow in the stomach stopped all further attempts.

“But Leviiiii, you always look so grumpy! And you looked like you really needed a hug.”

“Hange. If you want to hug something, I’ll get you a bear to hug.”

“But I would get crushed in a bear’s hug! But I bet it’s fur will be soft~”

“If you hug me, there will be certain death. Now choose.”

“Hm….getting crushed or dying. Since both lead to painful death or certain death, I choose….Eren!”

I choke on air.

“Come on, you think if _Erwin_ if all people knows, I wouldn’t figure it out? I’m the genius here, after all.”

I manage to give them one of my best, but useless glares.

I get a stupid grin in return.

“You just can’t hide anything from me, you know? Besides, it was apparent from the first time you two met.”

I narrow my glare, but reply, “I see.”

“Atleast you admit it. Anyway, casual talk aside, I came to talk to you about something more serious.”

I stay silent, giving them the prompt that I was listening.

“It’s about Eren. He’s not safe here. Since we’ve come back from the mission successfully, the corps get five days to visit family. All the cadets and even the seniors went home except Eren and Mikasa. I understand he left home without telling his family, but he has to go back. He _must_ go back for these 5 days.”

I stand stiff, thinking of all the possibilities as to why this would be necessary. My mind isn’t as bright as Hange’s, so I simply say, “Explain.”

“Erwin has reason to believe Eren will wander around the city streets within these next five days because he doesn’t want to go home. Normally, there wouldn’t be any problem with that, but there is the problem with Eren’s nobility. And well, there’s his family reputation… And on top, Erwin’s heard some disturbing news from the underground. _They’re_ planning something. We don’t know which nobles will be targeted yet, but we are to assume no one is safe. Eren’s sure to be targeted if he wanders around town freely. As much as it pains me, sending him home will limit his movements to the Yeager Mansion’s property, and it’s naturally well-guarded. I understand it may feel like a prison for him, but it’s only for 5 days, and we can’t take any risks.”

“So you came to me because you think I can convince him to go home.”

“You _have_ to. We don’t have any other options. We can’t keep him here at headquarters, we don’t have enough personnel to keep watch at the moment.”

“And what if I guard him for the next five days if he wants to waltz around town?”

“No can do. Erwin’s got some urgent things for you to attend to.”

“Tch.”

This was certainly getting frustrating. I didn’t want to coerce the brat into doing something he clearly didn’t want to. If he didn’t want to return home, hell, he could stay here for all I cared, where I could keep an eye on him. But of course, conveniently, Erwin no doubt had plans for me to take care of some troublesome shit that would keep my hands tied, and I would be unable to do much else.

Which lead back to me having to convince Eren to do the one thing he didn’t want to.

Why did I get stuck with all the shitty jobs again?

 

 

 

***      ***      ***

 

**_Armin_ **

I didn’t expect _him_ of all people to hail me in the library. The Survey Corps hosted an impressive library, all of which teemed with knowledge to the brim. I could barely contain my excitement every time I had the immense luxury of passing by to spend any amount of time in here. Such was the pure _gold_ hidden within these numerous books, something I didn’t even have the pleasure to see within the Yeager’s mansion, as renowned as Dr.Yeager himself was in collecting the knowledge of the world. The sizes of the library simply didn’t compare, because the Survey Corps outdid them all when it came to collecting pure, unfiltered knowledge of the true world.

“Impressive reading list,” said the same cool voice who had called out to me a moment ago. Startled from my reading _A Study of Aquaponics in Sub-Tropical Climates_ , I jumped to attention, knocking over a pile of books to my right. I winced as the last book fell to the floor with a thud, my right fist simultaneously landing on my chest in the salute.

“I don’t need you to jump like a springmonkey. I just came to talk. It would be a shame to damage any of these books.”

Slender fingers picked up a volume on the floor. I briefly saw the smooth, caring hand glide over its spine before placing it ever so gently on the table.

“Have you read that book, Captain?”

The words are out of my mouth before I can control them, and I almost rushed to say “Sorry.” But wait, what am I apologizing for?

It appeared that I didn’t need to beg for forgiveness for asking the question, because there is an acknowledging nod from Captain Levi.

“I haven’t read this one myself, but I’m aware of its origins. It’s because I saved a multitude of these books myself.”

I find that my mouth may have become open without my consent.

“Surprised? Your expression says so. I read somewhat, but what enraged me was that many of these books were being burned by some of these nobles, and many more sold on the black market. So I took the liberty of salvaging as many as I could. Now, anyone can read these as long as they are not taken out of here.”

This knowledge that the very saviour of these books were standing in front of me almost had me in tears. For as we spoke, several civilians were sitting here and there, reading and absorbing themselves in worlds of their own. All of this made possible by Captain Levi’s efforts.

I mentally swore that I would secretly owe him a deep debt.

But as it turned out, that wasn’t necessary because –

“I came to ask you a favour.”

“Anything at all, Captain Levi!”

Now I had to suffer a minute of awkward silence.

“What’s wrong, Captain?”

“No…it’s just…I wasn’t expecting you to agree so fast. Don’t you want to hear this favour of mine first?”

“Any saviour of books can have as many favours from me as they’d like.”

“Simple, aren’t you?”

“No, sir, I don’t believe so. ‘Simple’ entails that I have not thought through the possibilities of what agreeing to your favour could entail. So that simply means that I understand the implications of accepting yo-”

“Alright, alright, save the long explanation. Sit down, I don’t want to stand around while we discuss this.”

I re-seat myself in my chair, while the Captain drags another one and faces its back to me. Then he sits down, straddling the chair while resting his arms and elbows on the back rest, which now faces me. I don’t say anything regarding the oddity of Captain’s Levi’s seating position, and instead, pay attention to his next words.

“It’s about Eren.”

There’s a quick pause, but I already have an inkling regarding what this is about.

“We….Erwin, that is, needs him to return to the Yeager mansion for the next five days. I already know he probably doesn’t want to go back, and I know how badly he wanted to explore and hated being stuck there all his life. Now that it’s my job to make him go back there, I just….can’t…”

He doesn’t finish. He doesn’t have to.

“So you came to me because you need me to convince him to go back home for these few days?”

“…Exactly. I need your help. I don’t even know where to start.”

“That’s all?”

“That’s all.”

My face breaks into an uncontrollable smile. The sides of my face twich, and within seconds, I’m overcome by short gaps and bursts of laughter.

When the laughing fit is over, I look over to see the ever present, deadpan look on the Captain’s Face. Which almost sends me into another fit, but I tell myself to control it.

“Are you done?”

“Yes, Captain. I was just thinking that this was such a simple request, yet you approached me with such a serious look on your face….I was really thinking maybe you had found a serial murder case that needed solving.”

“You want to solve a murder case? There may be plenty of those if you’re interested,” came the crisp reply with a glare.

I feel like I may have temporarily overstepped my boundaries.

“N-No!” I hastily added. I simply meant - I mean I simply wanted to say that convincing Eren to go home can be done. Yup, I can do it.”

“You can? How?”

“Oh, it’ll be easy enough, it’s just that it will require Mikasa’s cooperation. And Captain Erwin’s, but if I am to understand he is the initiator for this, that makes it all the more easy. The only part that won’t be easy is…you, Captain.”

“Me?”

“Yes. Because it involves lying to Eren. Just temporarily, but still a lie. But I believe it’s the only way to get Eren back to the mansion, because otherwise, he’s as stubborn as you get. I understand you see Eren in a special way, but for once you’ll have to put aside your feelings and do this. If Erwin needs Eren to go back home, it is for Eren’s own good, isn’t it?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“Captain, I’m fully willing to make this happen if this is the ‘favour’ you wish of me. But you have to play along, atleast for these five days that Eren is supposed to stay at home. The weakest link will be you, and I just wanted to warn you before we go through this. Eren may come to resent us all at the end, but I don’t think that should happen if the plan goes smoothly. The best case scenario will be the one where Eren doesn’t find out we were lying to him.”

I see the Captain hold his steady gaze. I know he’s thinking. I don’t say anything, I know the Captain is a decisive person and I’ll the answer soon enough.

“Fine. What’s the plan?”

 

***      ***      ***

 

 

**_Levi_ **

The ‘plan’ turned out to be simple enough.

I didn’t expect the kid to have such a strong, smart, and efficient mind, almost like Erwin’s. The kid would make a great commander one day. If I was being honest with myself, I’d be at my wit’s end to come up with something that would make Eren go home. So I was applauding myself for thinking of going straight to Armin for something like this. The kid was best friends with Eren, and not to mention, very bright. As it turned out, it was certainly the right decision because it was unbelievable how fast the kid came up with an action plan, one that was certainly going to work with few risks.

“We’re going to tell Eren that he, myself, and Mikasa are being given a secret mission from the Survey Corps. Of course, that involves getting some ‘fake secret mission’ papers from Commander Erwin, sealed and stamped, to make it look legitimate,” Armin says, resting his chin on his hand.

I stare at Armin, wondering where he was going with this. I don’t say anything because I don't want to interrupt his thoughts.

“We’ll get the forged “secret mission” papers to say that some random militant group is planning to attack the Yeager mansion. And that me, Eren, and Mikasa have been assigned to protect the mansion because we are most familiar with the property and the surrounding areas. We’ll also say the intended target is the library…let’s say they want to rob some of the many first editions of the rare books in Dr.Yeager’s collection. Armed robbery, of course. But we’ll also say that there is some leaked information that the robbery is actually a disguise to assassinate Carla Yeager. We can say they plan to kill Carla while the robbers are trying to escape. That should sound legitimate enough, and a strong enough reason for Eren to return, especially as he will be getting these fake ‘orders’ from the Survey Corps and he can’t refuse his duties as a soldier. Of course, that means I can’t refuse either, but I’ll be there with him for a few days to make sure nothing goes wrong. I’ll just have to talk to Mikasa and let her know we need to pretend all of this robbery deal is real, otherwise she’s bound to think the threat is real and may go ballistic if she finds out later.”

I nod, agreeing with everything Armin had to say.

“Captain, you’ll have to be the one to get the fake papers from Commander Erwin and give the orders to the three of us. Which means, you have to lie to Eren and make it seem like this mission is _real._ That’s basically my plan.”

I open my eyes to the present from the flashback. And why, oh _why_ did I accept to do this again? Oh right, that’s because for whatever reason, I’m the one stuck with shitty jobs.

But work is work. I clutch the “fake mission” papers in my hand and call out to the trio. Armin turns and looks at me with those big, sparkling, innocent eyes, seemingly clueless about what is to come.

_Damn, Armin could make a great actor too. This kid is really something._

The trio turn around and snap into the salute.

“Into my office,” I say curtly.

I’m trying to shove all the emotions away within me and bury them deep down somewhere. I hate that voice that keeps whispering in my head though, it hasn’t stopped in a while.

_You shouldn’t LIE to Eren. Don’t you love him?_

Shut up.

_You really shouldn’t lie to him. What if he finds out? What if he hates you?_

SHUT UP!

I notice I slammed the door shut louder than what I intended to. Shit. I need to be in control of myself if this is to succeed. I remember what Armin told me about me being the weakest link. Dammit, the kid can predict it all.

I take a quick deep breath so I can get started as casually as possible.

I try to give as few details as possible about the 'fake' mission, and mostly stick to whatever is already on the paper. I see Eren’s expression harden, and his fists clench. Armin asks a few smart questions, just like he would if this _were_  a real mission. Damn, that kid is really good. Mikasa mostly glares at me and the paper the whole time, but I can’t help but notice that her eyes are softer, probably because Armin already told her everything, and she wants Eren to go home, too.

I finish the briefing only to see Eren is almost bursting out of his standing position. I know the only way to move forward is to ask.

“What’s  wrong with the mission, Eren?” I ask, professionally, and to the point.

“It’s…nothing…”

“Good. Because you three must leave immediately.”

The voice of surprise is so _real_ from Armin, I almost forget this is all an act.

“There’s no time to lose. We don’t know when anything can happen, and we already lost a day looking for scouts to take on the mission. Luckily we’ve found you three, so get ready _now,_ grab your horses, and let’s go. I’ll drop you three off at the gate.”

The reason I had to accompany them was to deliver a letter to the chief guard at the Yeager mansion, warning him of the _real_ threat, and letting him know Eren was not to leave the property under any circumstances.

Where he would now be trapped for the next five days, surrounded by the lie we had built for him, in the very house he had to lie about his identity to the world.

I would be delivering Eren at the very place he sought to escape from.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow and steady, they say, and many things in life make it difficult for me to write frequently, but I'm not through just yet! Hope to have the next chapter up soon!  
> Thank you for reading so far!


	24. The Rift

**_Eren_ **

“What’s the meaning of this.”

“You’re on a mission. Act like it.”

“You can’t fool me, _Captain._ It’s been 3 whole days, and there’s been no movement to suggest anyone is making a move on the mansion. On top, it feels like _I’m_ the one being watched. How come I’m not allowed to leave the property when I’m supposed to be assigned on a mission?”

“And if something happens the minute you decide to go for a little jaunt outside?”

“Mikasa and Armin are still here. Besides, you’re here today. I don’t see why I’m still not allowed to leave. The whole things just feels like a setup.” I grit my teeth and breathe out. “Besides, I think anyone would be foolish to even think of targeting mother.” My frustration is turning from annoyance to anger. I feel the red bubbles well up in me and I scramble to shove them down. I’m conscious that both of my fists are clenched.

“Don’t be selfish, Eren. This is not just about you. Mikasa and Armin can’t leave either, and they’re on the same mission as you. I don’t see them complaining.”

“They don’t see this place the same way I do.”

“I don’t see why that has anything to do with your mission.”

The red bubbles are overflowing now. I can barely contain the anger in my next words, but I get them out somehow without choking.

“I think we’re done here. I think you can see yourself out of this place, _Captain.”_

 

***      ***      ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,  
> Apologies for what is truly the shortest chapter so far! However, given how I want to progress the plot, this seemed the most appropriate. Hope to have the next one up as soon as I can!   
> Thanks for reading! :)


	25. The Race

 

It was now the last day that the Survey Corps members had to visit their families. Some members had returned just earlier this afternoon from visiting relatives, and all had equally easy and relaxed smiles on their faces, remembering with fondness that parents and others alike had greeted them back with huge grins and cheers of “Welcome back! Glad you’re alive!”

_Alive._

And it certainly felt _good_ to be alive.

Jean, Marco, Sasha, Connie, Krista, and Ymir were the few who had returned early from visiting family or relatives. They had no need to report in for duty at the headquarters until the next morning, so as dusk fell, they were in general agreement to head over to a comfy inn in town for dinner, recommended by Connie for their stewed potato dishes. Sasha had jumped at the opportunity, and already was leaving a trail of drool behind, eyes glinting with a certain madness.

The rest of the party followed suit, chatting and betting if the quantity of drool Sasha was leaving behind would be sufficient to drown a kitten.

Krista protested this was mistreatment, torture, and possibly murder - of a small, innocent kitten! By _drool_ of all things, it was unthinkable!

And when she turned with the large orbs of bright, glowing blue eyes to the group, all thoughts of drool and kittens were forgotten because such disagreeable thoughts had no place in front of a legitimate _Angel._

They reached the inn faster than anticipated because time seemed to fly more quickly in good company.

Sasha went in first, then Krista, and Ymir were allowed in next and given the first choice of seats. They seemed to have arrived early enough as the place was yet to be half full. The boys piled in right after, settling in comfortably and ordering drinks-

“Connie! You’re not old enough to drink beer-”

“Psh, the barmaid knows me. She can get us what we want.”

“I don’t recommend this,” came Marco’s quiet voice.

“Ahahaha, Marco, this is your chance to celebrate coming back in one piece! Have some fun once in a while!”

Connie’s claim about knowing the barmaid came true, as their drinks arrived, and sure enough to everyone’s amusement, Connie had been delivered his beer.

Shortly later, the food had arrived, and Sasha’s wild pounce on the food had everyone laughing and starting to dig in.

For the second time that evening, Marco had to admit that time _did_ fly in good company - as it was clearly way past midnight, they had all ended up having some form of alcohol (except Marco), and Marco’s fingers were comfortably nestled in Jean’s under the table. Jean had a shade of pink blush dusting across his nose and upper cheeks – under the somewhat dull lighting it was hard to tell whether it was an effect of the alcohol or Marco’s slight squeeze of his hand.

Their slightly tipsy bantering quickly turned into a challenge – as they had eaten far too much than what their stomachs would normally allow, the proposal of taking a carriage back to base was rejected spectacularly. Instead someone in the group had proposed a contest to _race_ back to headquarters, allowing for some late night exercise.

Sasha initially protested the exercise just after eating –

“But we have to _appreciate_ the food-”

Only to be interjected by Connie-

“But that means you can get hungry again faster and eat _more_ food!

Sasha’s eyes sparkled like sunlight reflecting off a clear lake on a bright day, and no more objections were made.

Ymir took charge of the group now.

“Alright, y’all, we will draw random lots to decide pairs. So we’ll have 3 teams. The prizes…hmm, let’s see. How about the winning team gets to ask the second place team to do any one thing they want?”

Heads all around nodded. It appeared that everyone agreed that this seemed to be a fair reward for the team in first place, and a suitable loss for the team in second place.

“What about the team in third place?” Krista chimed in.

“Heh.”

Ymir had the evil-est of the most evil of grins. It sent shudders down everyone’s back.

“The losing team in third and last place – has to punch Eren. In front of Mikasa. Then challenge Mikasa to a fight right then and there.”

There were several _loud_ gulps.

“So whatever the case, _do not_ come in last,” Connie muttered.

“Certain death,” Jean added the obvious.

But noone seemed to protest this rule.

“I think this gives everyone enough incentive to win,” Connie said. “Noone wants to be a gofer for first place, or certainly get killed by Mikasa. Let’s do this!”

The random draw settled the pairs quickly enough – Krista and Connie, Jean and Ymir, then Marco and Sasha dragged themselves out onto the street after settling their hefty bill (partly because of the quantity of food Sasha had consumed).

Ymir lined them up in a relatively straight line right outside the inn doors. “Alright, first pair to pass through the Survey Corps compound gates wins. Take any route you want. Remember, you have to pass through as a _pair,_ if both people in the team don’t make it through, you lose. Everyone good?”

The cool, slightly chilly air outside seemed to have woken them up from the warm air inside and they all seemed eager to start running to warm up and get to their beds.

“Okay, then! Race START!”

 

***      ***      ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,  
> I'm glad I was able to have this chapter up sooner than anticipated! You may have noticed the length of the chapter is shorter than the previous ones, but that is because as I stated in the notes of the previous chapter - I feel the need to shorten it due to the pacing and upcoming plot!  
> I hope you bear with me as we open the curtains to this new arc!  
> Thank you for reading so far yet again!  
> I am happy you have endured this long journey with me, and I hope to have the next chapter up as soon as possible!


	26. The Emergency

Connie had nightmares before. It involved him being cornered by wolfdogs, and losing his arms and legs to their wide, snarling, and biting jaws. He had woken up screaming, and woken up three others beside him who had sleepily told him to ‘shut up and go back to sleep’. But he had just lain awake, staring at the sky, and staring at his own hands, not believing they were still intact.

The current situation felt _exactly_ like that. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

And it had started perfectly normally, with a stupid race that they were supposed to be doing for _fun._ Well, if fun for the loser involved getting murdered by Mikasa…Connie was stupid, and he knew it, but he wasn’t stupid enough to not see certain death when he came across it.

 

***      ***      ***

 

Marco and Sasha lifted their hands in an almost-practiced synchronized motion, the clap from their palms ringing out in the silent night.

“We won!”

Big grins spread across both their faces, and Sasha’s eyes had a certain madness to it.

_Ohh, the things she could ask now that she had won!_

Jean and Ymir showed up just then, skidding around the corner.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!”  Ymir’s bitter tone was impossible to miss. “I bet they took the rooftops. I _told_ you, you utter nincompoop! If only you’d have the sense to listen!”

Marco looked bewildered and Sasha snickered.

“N-nincompoop?” Jean stuttered.

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Are your ears dysfunctional?” Ymir sighed, with a click of her tongue. “Maybe your brain’s addled, too.”

Sasha’s snickering turned into outright roaring laughter, and Marco was doing his best to contain himself.

“Ymir…you…”

“Oh, Jeannie boy. Don’t bother picking a fight with _me,_ you’ll just hurt yourself.”

Jean looked like he was going to explode at any moment, so Marco intervened just at the right time – mostly to save the rest of Jean’s pride from damaging itself further. Anyone knew Ymir had yet to learn about _fair_ fights, and it was highly doubtful Jean would win in a direct confrontation.

“S-So…obviously Connie and Krista are last,” Sasha chimed in, trying to redirect the conversation. “Doesn’t this mean Connie and Krista have to challenge Mikas-”

“Hmph! _My_ Krista will do no such thing!” Ymir declared confidently.

“Y-You…how come we have to accept losing punishments and Krista gets off easily?”

“Well now, no one would feel good about Krista getting beat up by Mikasa…” Sasha offered. “Maybe we could think of a different rule?”

“I agree,” Marco added. “It’s seems a bit too…heartless...to have Krista go up against Mikasa.”

There were silent nods all around.

“I guess that’s decided then.” Ymir said. “So what’ll it be?” She addressed Sasha. “I know it’s about food, and you won fair and square, so go ahead.”

Sasha’s eyes glinted with slight madness. There was drool already trickling down from the corner of her mouth, despite having eaten (lots) and not too long ago.

Without embarrassment, Sasha declared that she would like to have Jean and Ymir’s desserts for the entire next two months.

Ymir shrugged. Jean looked unhappy, but he expected as much.

“Marco?” Ymir asked. “We did say the winners can ask us of anything they want, and that includes you, too.”

“Hmm…” Marco looked at the ground, then furrowed his eyebrows, thinking.

“Well then…Ymir…could you help me with my gear maintenance for the next couple of weeks? I’m not too good at that…and I could use some tips…”

“That’s it? Sheesh, you _are_ easy!” Ymir laughed. “Fine. That’s no big deal, you could have asked me that anytime without me having to lose this race.”

“Well…I couldn’t really think of anything else…”

Ymir shrugged again, and turned around, scanning the horizon for Krista and Connie. “They are awfully late…”

In the meantime, Marco sidestepped to Jean’s space, leaning in slightly with a low voice barely above a whisper. “Since you lost, you _know_ what I want.”

Jean looked away quickly, feeling his face burn.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Ymir, who was already shaking her head.

“You two should get a roo-”

Connie chose this moment to come _crashing_ in. Thanks to their training, they knew he was not in immediate danger, although his wide eyes told of something different.

“Guys! It’s an emergency!”

“Yeah we know. Because you lost, and Mikasa is after you to kill you…” Ymir snorted.

“No, it’s not that! Forget about that for a second! I lost Krista!”

“What do you mean, you _lost_ Krista?”

“I…I did my best, but I couldn’t…I couldn’t…” Connie’s voice broke.

That’s when they noticed something was wrong with him. His lip was bleeding, there was some blood on his shirt and there was a visible bruise swelling up on his cheek. His knuckles also looked scraped.

“There were some guys who kidnapped Krista.”

“Krista’s been…kidnapped?” The unbelieving but furious voice came from Ymir.

“Y-Ymir. Calm down. We still don’t know the details from Connie…” Marco tried to tell her to get her to listen, even if for a few seconds, but she wasn't having any of it.

“I will find who kidnapped Krista and then murder them.” It was a simple statement.

 

***      ***      ***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've noticed my updates have been REALLY infrequent but I'm trying my best to keep em coming! :D  
> Thanks for reading, and hope to have the next one up soon~


	27. The Walk

**_Eren_ **

I couldn’t sleep.

Now technically, I could confidently say this wasn’t the first time. After all, after all those nights out on the expedition, when you’re expected to get up in the middle of the night to do your fair share of patrolling – there had certainly been many, _many_ days where I hadn’t slept well – not that you can, when you expect to be attacked any moment in the open.

There is a kind of tension that fills your body – and even when you think you’re asleep, you’re not. Not really, because it’s a light sleep – the kind where you’re ready to jump out of your position at a moment’s notice.

So it’s not the fact that I couldn’t sleep that was bothering me – no, it was something else.

Something that was quite plain, and was staring me in the face, but for whatever reason, I had chosen to avoid it to this day.

And it all revolved around my current situation.

I wasn’t allowed to leave the Yeager mansion premises.

Why?

Because I was here on my “mission” for the Survey Corps, supposedly to guard my own mother from a possible robbery-murder case. Even in my head, the whole idea sounds preposterous. To this day, there hadn’t been a _single_ attack case on the mansion, and I should know, since I spent all my life within its confined grounds. The entire thing _sounded_ like a setup, and I may be a fool at times, but I can see a blatant lie when it’s dancing in front of my face.

I pushed myself up to a sitting position. No point in trying to sleep when I clearly wasn’t going to get any.

A bitter feeling remained in my mouth.

I know I hadn’t meant to say those things to Levi.

In a way, I guess I knew he was in on the plot, whatever it was that he had done to make sure I came back here. Were Armin and Mikasa on it too?

I felt a knot in my stomach. I think I already knew the answer to that, too.

But as usual, I didn’t have the guts to admit it.

I didn’t _want_ to admit it.

I clenched both my fists on top of my thighs.

What exactly was I hoping to get out of confronting Levi? Hoping that he would tell me the truth?

When I could clearly see the pain laced behind his eyes from lying to me, but I kept pushing him for an answer, knowing that he had a duty to make sure I stayed behind here?

I sighed, mostly to myself.

Who was the one _really_ being selfish here?

It was me, wasn’t it.

I got up on both feet. I could feel my nails digging into my palms.

This was pathetic.

 _I_ was pathetic.

I couldn’t continue going on like this.

I breathed in and out, hard. I needed to sort out my own feelings, and I knew exactly where to start.

My breathing slowed, and I opened my eyes to look around in my room. It was funny how much smaller my room seemed now that I had been around to see the world. I felt a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. I stretched softly and walked over to the window, pulling the curtains aside.

Bright moonlight streamed in, lighting up the grounds as far as I could see. Over the course of the expedition, it seemed like my eyes had learned some new things, and I could recognize features on the grounds and see as well as if it was daylight.

Perfect night for a walk.

 

***      ***      ***

I walk briskly past my mother’s bedroom. But one glance tells me she wasn’t there sleeping, despite being a bit late into the night – so my feet direct themselves to the other possible location – her study.

I am dressed in full gear, since I am technically still on a mission, and also because after the expedition my double blades are practically my best friends. I now know why the older members in the corps carry them everywhere, and why many even go to sleep with them. Having the blades on my hips give me a sense of familiarity and confidence. I know they wouldn’t let me down.

I can see light pouring out of the bottom of mother’s study door. She was definitely in here then.

I pause, feeling odd. Since when had I started knocking on mother’s door? My early memories showed me that I was used to barging in here without a second thought. I shrug it off.

And knock twice.

“Come in.”

I realize both my hands are tight fists. I force myself to relax them.

_It’ll be fine. Just…talk to her._

“Hi mom,” I say as casually as I can manage, walking in. And blink to orient myself.

There are _stacks_ of papers _everywhere._ Her study, which I remember to be usually orderly, is a complete chaos of books, charts, papers, ink bottles, and quills.

“Busy?”

“Oh, it’s you Eren. What’re you doing up so late?” she stretches as she says this, and for the first time, I notice some tired bags under her eyes.

“Couldn’t sleep. But I could say the same to you.” I wave my hand around the study.

“And you have some ghastly bags,” I add.

“I know,” she says tiredly. “Wait, _ghastly?_ Is that something you say to your own mother? I’m hurt!”

I blink at that. But the telltale wrinkle along her eyes tell me that she is half-serious, so I smile and snort.

“What’re you working on?”

“Just some cases the Military Police is too stupid to solve.” She slams the book shut and gets up. “Nothing important.”

I raise an eyebrow – “nothing important” wouldn’t leave her awake so late into the night, but I don’t say anything else about it. Her cases are her business, and I don’t believe in getting involved in things that takes brainpower- that’s Armin’s area of expertise.

“It’s…really nice outside,” I say. “Full moon. I was thinking…we could go on a walk?”

I get two raised eyebrows at that – and I know she probably doesn’t think that’s a good idea.

“Just a quick walk,” I say, trying to salvage the situation, “I really need to talk.”

She shifts her weight elegantly to one hip, placing her arm on her waist. Then she nods.

“Walk sounds good. Give me a moment, I need to grab my cloak.”

Then she disappears into the back of her study, presumably to get her cloak since all the housemaids and houseboys were asleep by now.

My shoulders relax. I didn’t realize I was so tense.

_Probably because I hadn’t spoken to mother properly since I decided to leave to enroll in the Survey Corps without telling her._

She appears again shortly and I can see the golden hilt of her trusty sword hanging on her left – she really doesn’t go anywhere without it, just the way my blades are a part of me now.

We both make our way out of the study, and down the stairs. It’s very quiet since it’s past anyone’s bedtime, and some of the posted guards around the property are not patrolling our area at the moment. We walk past the main entrance, since there was no point in using the main doors – they opened with too much noise and would wake the whole place. Instead, my mother leads us to one of the side doors, and within minutes we were walking on the grounds, the full moon shining down on this cloudless night, lighting the path. Our pace slowed to a very slow walk.

We didn’t say anything in the first few minutes, just soaking in the moonlight and the tranquil surroundings. Then I notice my mother glancing at my gear housing the double blades.

“Yeah, I think they’re great. These have saved my life so many times,” I say, reading her mind.

A pause. Then-

“I was hoping that wouldn’t have been necessary,” she says.

We keep walking slowly, as I digest this.

“I know,” I say. “I’m – I’m sorry I left without telling you, mom.”

And then something happens. Something within me breaks – no, opens up. Something is telling me to say everything I hadn’t been able to say before, and haven’t had the guts to sit down and say everything that has been bothering me over all these years. Something I needed to do a long time ago.

“But mom…you know what? I have been able to make some new friends. Not just Mikasa and Armin, but… I was able to meet so many different people. Jean and Marco and Connie and Sasha and Krista and Ymir and Reiner and Bertolt and even Commander Erwin and oddly enough Squad Leader Hange…and…Levi…” I trailed off, the bitter memory of our last encounter invading my thoughts.

I shook my head, forcing myself to focus.

“I had some bad times, and sometimes the going got really rough. But with my friends at my side, it was somehow _easier_ to bear, and sometimes even in the worst situations, they could make it feel like everything in the world is okay just by having them around you. Mom…I learned how to fight in training, then I _really_ learned how to fight, by being out there and exploring our own world, despite all the dangers! Where no one dares to venture out for fear of their own safety…but somehow by being part of the Survey Corps I knew that they were going to watch my back, and I was going to do everything to make sure all of us came home. Then when we all made it back to the city…you know what I realized? I realized that this place (I wave my hand around) wasn’t _home_ anymore. _Home_ was where my friends were, where I truly belonged.”

I think I could feel something hot leaking out of the corner of one eye. I forced it to stay back.

“I really don’t know what I’d do without them. It feels _right_ to go on missions with them, and it felt so _right_ to train with them for all those years, and argue, and share our sleeping spaces, and meals and even the bathhouse…something I hadn’t done before.” I quickly glanced at my mother’s face.  It was impassive and her mouth was drawn into a thin line.

“All these years growing up…where I was forced to behave in some way I never understood, to have my meals at the ‘table’ with no one but servants around, unless Armin or Mikasa occasionally could have meals with me – at the other end of the table! We couldn’t even make decent conversation. Do you know the difference, mother? The difference when you’re sitting right _next_ to a person who is your friend, trading insults, eating food with whatever means necessary? The feeling where you know that the person sitting next to you is also going to be watching your back the next day, making sure you don’t get ripped to shreds by a savage wolfdog? That I would do the same for them, no matter what? The fact that we trained so hard with each other, we know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and I can actually _help_ my friends if they are in trouble? That’s right. I’m no longer helpless and I can put up a good fight on my own, especially if it is to help my friends.”

I was breathing hard, even though we maintained our extremely slow walking pace.

“I’m glad to hear that,” mother says quietly.

“Huh?”

  
I am not expecting this. What _had_ I had been expecting? A multitude of things, maybe. But not this. Arguing back about my choices. Rejection. But not acceptance.

“But tell me, Eren. What mother wishes for their own child to be put in the path of danger?”

I have nothing to say to that. Not a single damn thing. All of a sudden, my convictions feel like they are fading away. I had felt so…justified, moments ago. Now I feel foolish, reckless.

“Trust me, after I found out you had run away, I was…devastated. I knew the day would come when the shackles of this place could no longer sustain you, and you needed to spread your wings. So when that day came, I prepared myself to stop you. I had prepared in advance a small guard who would go and retrieve you after you left the grounds. But when the time came to do it…I just…couldn’t.”

I stare at her. Now that she was telling me all this…I realize that it _was_ odd that no one had followed me out to the recruitment camp for the Survey Corps. I had at the time simply thought that I had left too early for anyone to follow me, but in hindsight, that was foolish. If anyone had chased after me, they would have certainly caught up to me. Armin and Mikasa followed me, didn’t they?

“Grisha…your father was absolutely livid. But I wasn’t having any of it. Not especially since you haven’t had the chance to do anything you truly desired…and I could see you actually wanted to explore the world.”

I am having a hard time absorbing all of this. I mean, for years…I had been restricted to the grounds, and all of a sudden I am being told by mother that she had _allowed_ me to escape the confines of the grounds? This was ridiculous. I can’t …won’t – believe it.

“I prayed for your safety every day. I know training is hard. I was hoping it wouldn’t kill you, because that was my greatest fear – not being able to see you ever again, and I know some don’t make it out. But I knew Mikasa and Armin would take care of you, but still…it is not easy. Then I saw you at the Ranking Rournament. Yes…I was in the audience in disguise…and I could barely believe my eyes. My own Dear Eren, now taking out opponents twice his size…so confidently and with precision. I knew then that you had grown strong…and grown out of this place. You had a place you truly belonged to.”

I don’t say anything, just listening to her every word, still unbelieving.

“And then I heard news of your expedition. I had personally planned to march in there and speak to Commander Erwin. But… I couldn’t. I no longer had any say in what you did and where you went. You had chosen your path and I could do nothing but wait for you to return.”

I must be completely silent because I can feel my mother looking at me. I resolutely look at the grass I am trodding under my boots.

“All these years…” I choke out. “All these years…and not a single letter? All these years and you didn’t say a word to me about all this!”

Mother looks taken aback.

“But I thought you didn’t want to be disturbed. After all, you didn’t write me a single letter either!”

I stopped in my tracks, stunned.

…I…didn’t?

I didn’t write a single letter?

I think. And I think hard.

That’s right. I couldn’t bring myself to write anything to mother or father after I had left and it had been too awkward for me to even think about it. Besides, training took up so much of your metal and physical energy, and not to mention the small fortune it cost to send any letters. But mother was right. I had never even written to begin with, so why on earth had I been expecting something in return?

Damn it, I was so selfish sometimes.

“I didn’t,” I admit out loud. “I was too scared and unsure to even think about writing to you or dad. I just couldn’t do it.”

My mother stared.

“You stupid idiot!” she suddenly yells, slapping me across the back of my head. “Next time, just _write_ that damn letter! And here I was, worried to bits and pieces!”

Ouch. That hurt. I rub my head, and it _really stings._

“Sorry,” I manage to say, but smiling through it, because my eyes were tearing up again. So she cared. She _had_ cared, and she _still_ cared, and it was my utter foolishness that had not allowed me to see this fact and I had been an idiot this whole time.

My grin must manage to get a smile out of mother because in a moment we are both laughing.

“And to think – I didn’t even write to _you_ because I thought you didn’t want to talk to me! Like Mother, like Son.”

She grins, and the whole world bursts into stars.

“Mom,” I say, and that’s all she needs.

She steps into a hug, the one hug in the world that nothing can replace. The warm tears are freely flowing from both my eyes now and I don’t know if she can tell. But I don’t care. Nothing beats this, having the solidity of my mother’s comfort. Her arms around me in a fierce but utterly indescribable warmth that seems to flow around you, inside you, and just everywhere. I didn’t want to let go- and I also realize that…miraculously – I am now taller than her.

We break apart, and of _course_ mother notices my waterworks. She pulls a small kerchief from her person and wipes away the tears, and says smiling, “Of _course_ you’re taller than me now. You had to grow at some point! But realizing this makes me a little bit sad.”

And I see that she is right – there are just the markings of tears at the corners of her eyes too.

Somehow that makes me grin wider and harder; and suddenly it’s as if the world has lifted a great weight off my shoulders. I feel light and airy; why, I feel like I could fly at any given moment, and my walk has a new spring in its step.

It seems to be the same for mother, because she starts matching my pace, a bit faster now.

“But you have to realize that keeping you here is something your father did to make sure you were kept safe. We still can’t guarantee the movements of _The Drago._ They target nobles, and young ones too, so we had no other choice, not after what happened to Mikasa.”

Wait, what? Mother had certainly said some things just now…but none of it made any sense. I certainly didn’t know about this.

I must look confused for mother hesitates.

“Eren, everything your father does has a good reason. So you must believe when I say-”

“Mom, wait. I don’t understand. What father did? ‘The Drago’? Since something happened to Mikasa? What’s going on? I don’t understand any of this! Does this have to do something with keeping me here and stopping me from running away?”

I look at my mother’s thinking face. I know she is wondering just how much to tell me, and when.

Then she sighs.

“Mother?”

“Fine. I suppose I must tell you. You know those…monsters that had kidnapped Mikasa when she was little?”

My blood froze. Of course I remembered. I still remembered their red blood on my hands, dripping down slowly as I stood around complete Hell.

“Well, Mikasa’s family was of Noble descent, from the Eastern regions. ‘The Drago’ is an underground organization that go around collecting ransoms from Noble families. Usually, there are no survivors, and they walk away with the riches from the ransom.”

I grit my teeth. True, I did think these Nobles were pigs, and a lot of them deserved some form of punishment. But not like this! What this organization did was _wrong._ To take away innocent lives, especially young children! I couldn’t stand it.

“It so happened that your father was able to pinpoint the location of one of the targeted families and had decided to drop them a visit with an armed guard. He just didn’t know that you had managed to stow away in one of the carriages, and we still don’t know how you did it to this day…I suppose you were small enough to fit in a small space in one of them. Unfortunately, we couldn’t save her parents, but you saved Mikasa.”

I didn’t need reminding. I had simply thought I was going for a fun adventure, since father left the mansion grounds so many times without telling me where he was going. I don’t remember how I had managed to sneak aboard the carriage either, but I do remember thinking it was going to be fun to follow father and see what he was up to. I didn’t know he was going on a rescue mission and I didn’t anticipate for the carriage to stop in the dark and hear voices of people fighting break out all around me. I was scared. I had escaped the carriage and run into the woods until I had found a wooden cabin.

The younger me didn’t know that was where little Mikasa was being held against her will, and all I had seen were the dead bodies of her parents, and an older man about to kill Mikasa. Anger had taken over all of my conscious thoughts, and the one thought that remained screamed to save her, and the next thing I knew was the Hell all around me and the trembling hand of Mikasa’s in mine and my scarf around her neck.

I remember stumbling and struggling to get down the dark hilly slope through brush and stones and grass– and finally being found by my father and I don’t really remember much after that, but I must have told him everything because I remember the stunned faces of the guards looking at us with expressions of fear.

“So you did save Mikasa, but what you didn’t know was one of them had got away. The guards chased him and even managed to injure him in the right leg, but he got away nonetheless. And he would now remember you two – one young man, and one young girl of Eastern decent. So your father came up with a plan. You Eren, would grow up as a fine young Lady, Erin. And Mikasa’s real name was Misa. But we thought a new identity would suit her new life, so we made her Master Mikasa. As Nobles and different genders, you two now wouldn’t possibly be linked back to that incident – or targeted, since apparently one of them killed back then was their leader.”

I blink. I had not known that.

“But the organization still lived. They still kept targeting young Noble girls and boys here and there and that is why we couldn’t afford to have you out of the grounds. We know they are still trying to look for the young boy and girl who did in their previous leader, and they know you would be around your age. We know Mikasa is plenty strong now to take out any multitude of attackers. And now that you are strong…the risk is less…but still there. I hope you understand why your father had to take some drastic measures.”

I stare blankly forwards, not really watching where I am going at this point.

So the whole act of being ‘Lady Erin’ was a carefully thought out plan by father? All of this was being done to make sure those from the organization didn’t find and target me or Mikasa? And all of this was carefully crafted, my freedom limited, just to protect us?

“I…I can see now that father and you did all this to protect us as children. But once we grew up, I didn’t appreciate not being able to do anything or go anywhere, mother! I still don’t regret joining the Survey Corps to this day, and I am not going to leave just because someone is targeting me.”

“I understand. I understood, even back then. I saw how you suffered in this cage, and how you struggled. And I saw how you made up your mind once you met Captain Levi.”

I jerk my head up to see her watching me, smiling.

“Oh yes, I knew then nothing was going to stop you from joining the Survey Corps. But that was also my greatest fear. But you did. And I let it happen, fully knowing what could happen. Then soon we received intelligence that ‘The Drago’ was again plotting and targeting one of the recruits from the 104th Training Corps. And I instantly knew it had to be you. I reached out to the Commander and made sure you and Mikasa would be coming here for a few days, where you’d be safe and out of their reach.”

I keep walking, a slow mountain of emotions boiling up in me.

So Levi _had_ been lying, except not really _lying_ , but just trying to follow orders from Commander Erwin. No wonder he had looked so pained when he was giving out the instructions to himself, Armin, and Mikasa. And Armin probably knew and was playing along for my sake.

And I had….treated Levi so shamefully.

And Levi had been right.

I remember his exact words “Don’t be selfish, Eren. This is not just about you.”

But I had been selfish, hadn’t I? And I was still being selfish.

I had let my anger get the better of me and told him to leave. When all he had done was come by and try to see me – he had probably known I wouldn’t take it too well being back here but he had put aside time in his _extremely_ busy schedule and chosen to drop by to see me. And I had turned him away, as rudely as possible. Basically kicked him out!

My face burned in shame when I recalled what exactly I had done – and all due to my selfishness. And not realizing or appreciating what these people meant to me and what they had done for me.

“I…had no idea,” I manage to choke out. “Mom…all this time…and I didn’t know! And I said such horrible things to Levi…”

“Levi, huh,” says mother casually. “No ‘Captain’ Levi?”

I tense up. And a small blush surely but strongly creeps onto my face, despite my best efforts to keep it bay.

“Oh come _on,_ ” mother sighs in exasperation, “You think I wouldn’t notice? I’m your mother. I cannot _fail_ to notice such things!” she says, and a very strange giggle is mixed in her voice. “It was so _obvious_ since you both first met at the party. And not to mention, you haven’t been using his title the whole time you mentioned him.”

I look away quickly, then keep my stare fixed at the ground.

“Hm…so Levi, huh. So…you like him?”

I must have reacted because my mother giggles a bit harder.

“Or no…you _love_ him?”

“MOM!”

My face is blazing hot, and I can feel my heart about to leave its ribcage. This is definitely extremely embarrassing, not to mention it’s my own mother at the end of the relentless teasing. Darn the day she found out! Not that it was avoidable, but I want nothing more than to melt into the ground right now and wish the moon _wasn’t_ so full so she could probably see my extremely flustered face.

“Oh my Darling Eren. There is nothing you can hide from me!” She put her arm around my shoulder. “Not that you need to,” she added.

We kept walking at a comfortable pace and we had actually reached the edge of the grounds so we turned back.

“So…have you kissed him yet?”

I jump.

“Mom…that is an embarrassing question!”

“Eren…” her serious tone of voice makes me look at her. Her eyes are kind, and look warm and inviting.

_You can tell me._

“Y-Yeah…” I admit, in a small voice.

She nods. “I see. Well, I’m glad he seems to like you. Is he treating you well?”

I nod back. “Yeah. He's really good to me, and he’s saved my skin many times. Although…he still calls me ‘brat’ a lot…” I frown.

My mother chuckles.

“Heh…I can see that. That’s just his way of endearment. I don’t doubt he’s had it specially reserved for you. I knew he was right for you ever since I met him. I just didn’t know how it would work out…but I guess it did!” she says cheerfully.

I look at her with wide eyes.

“Y-Yeah. I guess it did…” I mutter, still keeping my eyes on her.

Something begins to fall into place. Wait a minute…is this the first time that I had spoken about me and Levi to _anyone?_ I had never approached the topic with Mikasa, she would probably storm off and try to murder Levi. And certainly not Armin, although I did have a feeling he knew.

It was funny how comfortable it suddenly feels just being able to have someone to talk with about this stuff. About Levi.

Mother now wraps one of her arms around my waist. It is a bit awkward because of my gear but she manages it somehow, and I wrap one of mine around her shoulder, and we walk back towards the mansion, in the comfortable presence of each other.

 

***      ***      ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,  
> I am glad to have this chapter up, and I hope a lot of things make sense now! And I hope I did justice to Eren and Carla's relationship...because you know Carla is a GREAT mom.  
> Hope to have the next chapter up soon!


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